Month: March 2020

The 63rd Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired March 21, 2020 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations.  

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63.

To celebrate the upcoming 100th anniversary of the Grand Ole Opry, organizers are planning a major renovation of the auditorium. They call in design experts to plan all the changes, and they book celebrities from many different fields to make the event global.

“One thing,” says the head of the Opry to a small group of workmen and celebrities. “Since his death, the Grand Ole Opry has been haunted by the ghost of Hank Williams. He’s benevolent, but anything we do here, we have to clear with him first.”

“What do you mean?” says Ellen Degeneres, one of the invited celebrities. 

“Just go in and talk to him,” says the organizer. “Tell him you’ll be emceeing the show and making cute jokes about country music.”

“How about me?” says basketball legend Wilt Chamberlain. 

“Same thing. Tell Hank Williams you’re there to do some trick shots like your early years with the Globetrotters.”

Then an HVAC technician steps up and says, “I’m no celebrity, but I’ve got a chart showing how we can circulate warm air through the building on chilly nights. Do you think he’d want to see that?”

“Absolutely,” says the organizer. “In fact, when we go in, we’ll hit him with the heating chart first, then Ellen makes some jokes, Wilt Chamberlain does his thing, and then you’ll be on the end so you can talk about the chart after Hank Williams takes a look at it.”

“We’ll be sitting in that order?” says the HVAC guy.

“Yup,” says the organizer. “Your Heating Chart, Wilt, Ellen, You.”