Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #058 (3/19/2016): JOHNNY CASH

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Segment aired March 19, 2016 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

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58.
Johnny Cash had just finished a grueling tour and decided to treat himself to an exotic vacation. He chose an African safari that went deep into the jungle. Accompanying Johnny was an old Mexican tour guide, whose lineage stretched all the way back to the Mayan civilization 600 years ago. Still, Johnny didn’t like him somehow.

“Follow me, Señor Cash,” said the guide. “It’s the heat of the day, so all the wild animals are sleeping in the sun. That means if we’re quiet, we can come up close to them without getting hurt.” Johnny Cash nods and follows the guide, and he’s amazed when they sneak right past a sleeping rhino. Minutes later, they come upon a snoozing hyena, and they tiptoe ever so silently by it.

Not long after, they come upon a huge lion, snoring gently in the sunshine. The guide starts creeping past it, but suddenly, the singer runs up to the beast, pulls its tail, and starts screaming in its ear. The lion jerks to attention, grabs the tour guide, mauls him, and chews his foot off. With his dying breath, the guide asks, “Por que, señor? Why?”

Johnny Cash answers, “Because You’re Mayan, I Woke the Lion.”