Written specifically for my radio show, a song, to the tune of “Hobo’s Lullaby,” that celebrates the capture of the Beltway snipers
On the fourth episode of my radio show, Dave’s Gone By, we closed the News Gone By segment with a bit about two men who were arrested for the Beltway sniper attacks in Washington DC. Here’s my intro to the song as it aired on our Halloween-themed program, Oct. 27, 2002:
“It looks like the Beltway nightmare has come to an end. John Allen Muhammad and his juvenile accomplice, John Malvo, have been arrested in connection with a month-long series of shootings in Washington DC, Maryland, and Virginia. A former army soldier, National Guardsman and—surprise!—a convert to that gentle religion, Islam, Muhammad modified his used Chevrolet so he could fire comfortably out the back without being seen. Towards the end of the manhunt, Muhmmad also begged to be caught—leaving notes on trees, giving out his phone number, making generic threats against children, and requesting $10 million in blackmail.
This desperation may be attributed to the lack of a good night’s sleep—since Muhammad and Malvo apparently spent the last week catching their z’s in a Chevy, which is where they were caught by Montgomery County police. Since they’ll now have plenty of time to rest and relax—say, 800 to 900 consecutive years (700 with good behavior)—I thought it only fitting to dedicate this 40-year-old ballad by Goebel Reeves to them (lyrics slightly revised).”
The song was then performed live in the radio studio, with backing by the country-folk band, Eddie (Hugg) and the Moonshiners.
(sung to the tune of Goebel Reeves’s Hobo’s Lullaby)
Go to sleep, you weary sniper
Soon the world will watch you die
Can’t you hear the steel chains clankin’?
That’s the sniper’s lullaby.
You’ll no longer have a rifle
When your trigger fingers itch
Fear will be your companion
Fear and some dude who calls you “bitch.”
Ten dead bodies cry for blood now
They shall not leave you in peace
I will say one good thing for you:
You got a steal on that Caprice.
So when ya die and go to Hades
Take that Malvo with you, too
You can call yourself Muhammad
But you’re still screwed `cause God’s a Jew
So go to sleep you filthy garbage
Spend yours days too scared to cry
Hear that mercy seat a-hummin’
That’s a sniper’s lullaby.
©2002 David Lefkowitz