Dave recites the topical holiday poem, “Three Nights Before Christmas (2002)”
Segment originally aired Dec. 22, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions.
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THREE NIGHTS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
by David Lefkowitz
On the first night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee:
News Gone By and the World Weird Web about Shooby (shadobalabashraw)
On the second night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee:
A tirade about smoking
Sound effects and choking
At 11 to midnight on GBB.
On the third night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee:
The Puff Sullivan Letter
Angry LIPA guy
And a critique of Say Goodnight, Gracie.
On the fourth night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to theen:
Pre-tampered yummies
Actress Karen Young
Jokes about Verizon
And a bunch of goodies tied to Halloween.
On the fifth night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee:
The Giving Chimp!
A review of Movin’ Out
Crooked politicians
LaRouche on the web
And “Peter Pumpkinhead” by XTC.
On the sixth night of Dave’s Gone By, WGBB
gave Dave a new timeslot
He played William Finn
Also Lonnie Donegan
And the hippie, Donovan
Even Homer Simpson
And old Coco, the poet chimpanzee.
On the seventh night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee:
Osama bin Laden
Good ol’ Bobby Dylan
Eilert Pilarm!
A Warren Zevon tribute
Rock throwing in India (in the Chhindwara district of Madhya Pradesh)
Eating sushi naked
And a new commuter tax for you and me.
Oh, the eighth night of Dave’s Gone By was quite a joyful spree:
Rabbi Solomon hosted
He lit the candles
He played the dreidel
He played Adam Sandler
And a little klezmer
Bitched about the Arabs
And Bobby Fischer
Plus a poem on pedophile Pee-Wee.
On the ninth day of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee:
“Trees” by Joyce Kilmer
“Tuesdays with Morrie”
“My Old Lady”
Wilson’s Book of Days
Dead Kurt Cobain!
A bit by Woody Allen
Sponsorship info
Two insurance sketches
And a psychic hotline like TV.
On the tenth night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee:
Steve Herbst, the Whistler
He did Stevie Wonder, Sondheim and Led Zeppelin
and Bruce Springsteen!
Drugged-out Whitney Houston
Kissinger’s back
Dave’s name on a urinal
And a poem on Cablevision fees.
On the eleventh night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee:
Trent Lott’s apology
Critic Charlie Gross
Music by Frank Zappa
United Airlines
MTA strike
Two killer pitbulls
Scientist who burned his penis!
Right-wing Joe Salzone
Bush and the economy
Bloomberg on a bike
And the Man of La Mancha on CD.
Whoa, the twelfth night of Dave’s Gone By was full of songs and joy
`Cause the past eleven weeks, I’ve been able to annoy:
Gospel-seeking listeners
Those who worship Elvis
Those who loathe Neil Young
Republicans
Pro-Palestinians
Born-again Christians
Self-hating Jews
All my engineers!
People who hate theater
People who love theater
L.I. Cablevision
And the people who don’t want me to be me.
(spoken) But it’s all I can be. So happy holidays, everybody.
©2002 David Lefkowitz