A humbuggy holiday carol.
Segment originally aired Dec. 23, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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WE KILLED SANTA CLAUS
by David Lefkowitz (sung to “Here Come Santa Claus” by Gene Autry & Oakley Haldeman)
We killed Santa Claus
We killed Santa Claus
We killed Jesus, too
Nailed him to a cross
No big freakin’ loss
Just another cranky Jew
All our life was trouble and strife
From the Holocaust to Pogroms.
So keep J.C. away from me
He’s worse than terrorist bombs.
We kill babies
We kill children
Use their blood for cake.
We own Hollywood
We own Wall Street
Take take take take take
This is what you’ve said about us
For the past 2,000 years
Pound, Voltaire, and Charles Baudelaire
and any goy who’s had four beers
We killed Santa Claus
We killed Santa Claus
And we’d do it again
Goodbye carols
Goodbye crèches
No goodwill toward men
You’ve hated us since the birth of Christ
So we hate you in return
So stick your mass
Straight up your ass
And burn, Joan of Arc, bitch, burn.
©2004 David Lefkowitz