The 13th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired Nov. 22, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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13.
An old Asian tea maker took pride in teaching his culinary students a very special blend of his chai tea. The brew had a strong, delicious taste and an oddly delicate bouquet. No matter how his young students tried, even the best ones could not replicate the brew.
What the teacher couldn’t tell them was the real reason his tea had such a distinct flavor: every morning before school, he would wake up, take a dry loofa and scrape the wrinkly, dead skin off one of his buttocks and into the bag of leaves.
All goes fine until one day, a know-it-all student takes a sip of the old man’s signature tea. “Ugh,” says the boy, “when was this tea made, 1937?”
“What you talk about?” says the teacher, “is fresh, new tea!”
“New? This tastes ancient. I don’t wanna make old tea.”
“Old? Is not old! Made right now!”
“Is not!” counters the boy. “What kind of teacher are you?”
“I good teacher!” the old man yells, “and is new tea!”
“No, it isn’t,” says the boy, “I’m outta here.”
The kid turns to leave, but the teacher grabs him by the collar and hollers, “I good teacher! No Chai Old, Left Behind!”