Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #024 (2/7/2015): SCREENWRITER

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The 24th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired Feb. 7, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

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24.
A big Hollywood producer invites all his colleagues to his house. The occasion is a pre-release party for his latest film, a remake of the sci-fi classic, “Soylent Green.” As the opening credits begin, the screenwriter notices that the title had been changed to “People.”

He jumps out of his chair and yells at the producer, “How could you change the name without my permission?”

The producer says, “Sorry, the studio thought `Soylent Green’ was too obscure, so they made me change it.”

“And you obeyed? You coward!” the writer screams, leaping on the producer and pummeling him with his fists. Terrified, the producer runs up the stairs and dashes into the guest room, but the writer is right behind him. They tussle and eventually fall on the bed, which is piled high with the coats of all the party guests.

Meanwhile, the police are called, and they hurry to the guest room, where they see the producer now has the upper hand. He’s throttling the screenwriter within an inch of his life, and both of them are twisted up in all the coats and jackets on the bed.

“Okay, knock it off!” says the head policeman.

“Where am I?” says the screenwriter.

“You’re in fantasyland if you think you control my movie!”, says the producer.

“Enough!” shouts the policeman, pointing at one and then the other. “You’re Under a Vest. and You Have the Right to Rename Soylent.”