The 44th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired July 11, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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44.
The summer before his senior year, a University of Pennsylvania student proposes to his girlfriend. He wants the wedding in Philadelphia, but she demands they get married in Jefferson County because her family, from her great-great-grandfather all the way to her dad, has lived and worked in the coal mines there for generations.
After the ceremony and a little drunk, the guy is driving his bride back towards campus.
Unfortunately, a cop stops him for speeding and weaving a little out of his lane. “Aw, come on, officer,” says the student. “It’s my wedding day.”
“Don’t argue,” says the cop. “You’re speeding and driving under the influence.”
“I may be a little tipsy,” admits the student, “but if you bring this to court, no jury on earth would convict me. I’d even represent myself!”
“Ha!” says the cop. “You’re just a college kid. Studying what, history?”
“Engineering,” comes the reply.
“So you’re an engineer, and you’re gonna defend yourself in court?”
“That’s right,” says the student. “Engineering is my major. But thanks to her dad, now I have a Miner In-Law.”