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Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #73 (7/28/2013): Abortion in Texas

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #73 (7/28/2013): Abortion in Texas

Aired July 27, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/ZxR-DF7zXb0

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of July 28th, 2013.

Remember the Alamo? It was the last time someone put Texas in its place, and perhaps another whuppin’ is long overdue. Texas wants to be in the forefront of stopping legal abortions in this country. This is ironic because Texas is the state of the union with the most people in it who should have been aborted.

Last week, governor Rick Perry signed a bill that would prohibit abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy. That’s four fewer week than Roe v. Wade, which is federally protected by Supreme Court. So basically, Texas is saying: you gotta squash the little blob before it sprouts fingers.

On the surface, rolling back abortion’s legality to five months rather than six isn’t that horrible. Premature babies have been born at 22 weeks and lived. They went on to work at the DMV, but still . . . If a fetus can be extracted, incubated, and turned into a viable human being, pro-life activists have a point in saying that abortion at that stage is murdering a person. Granted, these same conservatives have no problem putting grown-ups in the electric chair and letting the poor starve to death, but teeny-weeny babies, ooh, gotta save every last one.

That’s what gets me about so-called pro-life activists. They’re all for rescuing little souls, but once they’re born, it’s everybody fend for themselves. If the mother goes on welfare, she’s a lazy leech. If the child grows up abused and unloved, there’s no money for free counseling and social services. If the kid turns criminal because that’s the only decent employment option available to him, lock him in prison for thirty years and let him get beaten, raped and demolished.

Hey, but at least he didn’t die in the womb, `cause Jesus would have a problem with that.

The new Texas law also says abortions can no longer be performed in clinics but have to be done in centers equipped for surgery. That sounds reasonable – mothers should have safe and sterile hospitals to go to in case the kid is born with two heads. But remember, if you take away the clinics, and the doctors who’ll do the procedure for $300 and some homemade pastries, you’re sending poor people without health insurance to places they can’t afford. Which really means you’re sending them to a cousin in a basement with a coat hanger and pillow.

The middle-aged white men of the great state of Texas even want to control birth control. Thanks to their new law, Texas women can no longer take RU-486 at home but have to be under doctors’ supervision. Which means, again, that if you have the money for continuous doctor visits, you’re granted more rights under the law than the underclass who don’t.

And I love how the pro-lifers always say that every soul is precious, and that the fetus you abort could be the next president. That embryo you just sucked out was the girl who’d grow up to cure cancer. You never hear the right-to-lifers say, “That unborn soul could’ve been the next Hitler.” They never think, “That future human floating around in your belly? Next marathon bomber. Next Osama bin Laden. Next Donald Trump.”

I, Rabbi Sol Solomon, go on record as saying that I am pro-choice. Not only that, I am pro-abortion. Early term, late term, rape, incest, frat-party mistake. If the child isn’t wanted and cannot be properly raised, don’t bring it into this overpopulated planet. I’m so pro-abortion, I think it should be retroactive. If I’m on an airplane and there’s a two-year-old screaming in the seat behind me, get the knife and pop the head. At that age, you can still de-vein them like a shrimp.

And, of course, the abortion battle still comes down to that age-old problem of religious zealots, mostly male, who want to control women. Not that I blame them; when was the last time a Jewish man controlled the women in his life? But seriously, if I get a tumor in my abdomen, God forbid, I go to the doctor, and he says, “It’s not cancer, but it’s like cancer. I recommend taking it out, but it’s up to you.” Nobody tells me what I have to do with my body. If I wanna leave the tumor in and watch it grow like those bulges on Dr. Phil’s head, that’s my business. If I wanna remove it and keep it in a jar near the gefilte fish – my choice. Don’t you dare tell me that something growing inside my own body is regulated by the church or punishable by law. And don’t tell a woman that the growth inside her is your business.

If abortion laws in this country become more restrictive for women, I say we should make dentistry illegal for men. If a guy has a rotten tooth, he has to keep it in his mouth for nine months – or, until it falls out of its own accord. If he doesn’t like it, he can go in a back room with a string and a doorknob. Come to think of it, that’s the way I used to do circumcisions.

Anyhoo, let’s keep a very sharp eye on Texas because the state that gave us George W. Bush, the assassination of Kennedy, and Astroturf has no business regulating morality or maternity.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=28938

Dave’s Gone By Interview (7/27/2013): CAROLE DEMAS

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews actress-singer Carole Demas

Topics include: Allan Sherman, Broadway, The Fig Leaves are Falling.

Segment originally aired July 27, 2013 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (7/27/2013): MARK COHEN & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews “Overweight Sensation” author Mark Cohen

Topics include: Allan Sherman, comedy, novelty songs

Segment aired July 27, 2013, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

All content (c)2013 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #431 (7/27/2013): COHEN ON THE TELEPHONE

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Here is the 431st episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, July 27, 2013. Info: Davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with author Mark Cohen (“Overweight Sensation: The Life & Comedy of Allan Sherman”). Also: Dave chats with actress-singer Carole Demas, Saturday Segue (parodies), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (Self Portraiture), and Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflection (abortion in Texas).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: biographer Mark Cohen, actress Carole Demas

00:00:01 Pre-Show
00:05:00 DAVE GOES IN
00:21:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Parodies
00:53:30 Sponsors
01:01:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Mark Cohen
02:22:30 BOB DYLAN: Sooner & Later – Self Portraiture
02:25:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #073 – (Abortion in Texas)
03:00:30 GUEST: Carole Demas
03:32:30 Thanks, Weather & Friends
03:44:30 DAVE SAYS BYE – J.J. Cale
03:48:30 DAVE GOES OUT

July 27, 2013 Playlist: “Going Green” (00:22:30) & “I Wrecked My Heart with Spam and Crisco” (00:45:00; Capitol Steps). “How Much is That Pickle in the Window” (00:25:00) & “Come On a-My House” (00:33:30; Mickey Katz). “Trayvon” (00:27:30) & “The Rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald” (00:35:30; Dave). “King of Suede” (00:29:30; Weird Al Yankovic). “Johnny I Hardly Knew Ye” (00:39:30; The Clancy Brothers). “My Dead Dog Rover” (00:43:00; Hank, Stu, Dave & Hank). “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh” (00:58:30), “One Hippopotami” (01:04:30), “Shake Hands with Your Uncle Max” (01:18:30), “With a Little Bit of Lox” (01:27:00), “On the Streets Where We Live” (01:28:30), “Sarah Jackman” (01:37:00), “Harvey and Sheila” (01:41:00), “Crazy Downtown” (01:49:30), “76 Sol Cohens” (01:57:00), “Hail to Thee, Fat Person” (02:02:30), “Good Advice” (02:08:30) & “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh” ({1964 version} (02:15:00). “Copper Kettle” (02:29:30), “Belle Isle” (02:33:00), “It Hurts Me Too” (02:35:30), “The Days of 49” (02:39:00), “Alberta #2” (02:44:00), “Living the Blues” (02:47:00; Bob Dylan). “Last Will and Testament” (03:49:00; Eric Clapton & J.J. Cale).

Dave’s Gone By Song (7/20/2013): TRAYVON

ZZ-Song-Trayvon
A song about the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman confrontation and trial.

Segment aired July 20, 2013, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2013 TotalTheater Productions.
Lyrics & Performance by Dave Lefkowitz. Melody originally written by Sonny West, Bill Tilghman and Norman Petty and made famous by Buddy Holly.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #430 (7/20/2013): RADIATOR

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Here is the 430th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, July 20, 2013. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Saturday Segues (radiation, Mick Jagger), Inside Broadway, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later, Dave Goes Off (Seeing is Believing), the News Gone By, Dave’s “Trayvon” song. (Lost Recording: a chat with Dave’s wife, Joyce).

Note: Technical problems resulted in the first two hours of the original broadcast going unrecorded. As such, the interview with Dave’s wife is lost. However, Dave re-recorded the other segments – including Inside Broadway and the News Gone By – later that day to recreate the first part of the show. From the Bob Dylan segment on, the recording is from the original broadcast.

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:07:00 Sponsors
00:11:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Radiation
00:48:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:01:30 NEWS GONE BY (including Dave’s song, “Trayvon”)
01:14:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (AmericanaramA)
01:49:00 DAVE GOES OFF – Seeing is Believing?
02:02:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Mick Jagger
02:20:30 Weather, Friends & Thanks
02:27:00 DAVE GOES OUT

July 20, 2013 Playlist: “Love Radiates Around” (00:11:30; The Roches). “Power and Glory” (00:16:30) & “Sword of Damocles” (00:37:30; Lou Reed). “Passion Play (When all the Slaves are Free)” (00:21:00; Joni Mitchell). “Radiation” (00:26:00; Gavin DeGraw). “Radiation” (00:30:00; The Apples in Stereo). “Frank Sinatra” (00:33:30; CAKE). “Fade Away and Radiate” (00:41:00; Blondie). “Promo for `Still Jewish After All These Years'” (00:58:30; Avi Hoffman). “Trayvon” (01:04:30; Dave Lefkowitz). “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall” (01:16:30), “Duquesne Whistle” (01:24:00), “All Along the Watchtower” (01:33:00), “Early Roman Kings” (01:35:30) & “Blind Willie McTell” (01:41:00; Bob Dylan). “Simple Twist of Fate” (01:29:30; Jeff Tweedy). “Street Fighting Man” (02:03:30), “All Sold Out” (02:06:30), “Tumbling Dice” (02:08:30), “Play with Fire” (02:12:30), “19th Nervous Breakdown” (02:14:30) & “The Last Time” (02:28:00; The Rolling Stones).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #72 (6/30/2013): Shalom Dammit in Greeley

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #72 (6/30/2013): Shalom Dammit in Greeley

Aired June 30, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tS3_41e-NUc

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of June 30th, 2013.

Do you live in Colorado? That makes you a very lucky person. Unless you’re getting burnt up by the forest fires, but other than that, the mountains are gorgeous, the weather is stunning, the prices are fair, and all the men carry guns, but they don’t point them directly at you.

If you’re in or near Greeley, Colorado next week, you’re even luckier because you get to see me, Rabbi Sol Solomon, live and in the flesh. On July 6th at two in the afternoon and seven in the evening, I’m going to be doing my one-man, two-person show, Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon, live onstage. The venue is the exciting new cultural center in town, Art Space Greeley. It’s this big building on the corner of 7th Avenue and 12th Street that used to be a garage. Which is appropriate because my first shul was in a gas station. My congregation would say a few prayers, then a car would come, we’d make a blessing, wash the windows, and siphon a gallon here and there to light our menorah. Ah, those were the days.

But now I’m a big off-Broadway star, because I did Shalom Dammit! last year in New York, and the critics raved! They also ranted, but mostly they raved. They called my show hilarious, outrageous, biting, wildly funny, courageous and even a little dangerous. Those are actual quotes – I didn’t even have to bribe anybody. Not that I could have on my budget. This is live theater; if it wasn’t for volunteers and sexual favors, nobody could afford to live.

Actually, there is a little money in this production, courtesy of The Community Foundation of Weld County. They actually gave us a grant to do Shalom Dammit! in Greeley, Colorado. They didn’t give us enough to do it right, but they gave us enough to do it. So I can go up there, shout at people for an hour and a half, sing some songs and then escape to the parking lot before the goyim come after me with torches. And because we have government funding for this production, tickets are cheap! Only five dollars for adults, seniors and the indigent. Students with valid ID pay only $3 to get in. That’s less than a latte! Three dollars – that’s six ten-thousandths of a cent per second – a bargain! Broadway shows, it’s worse than a taxi ride; it’s a dollar a minute! And forget about phone-sex lines. Especially on my budget.

But seriously: cheap tickets to see a hit show with me, Rabbi Sol, and my brilliant musical accompanist, Richard Shore on the piano. He’s a Harvard-educated musical director at the University of Northern Colorado, and ladies, he’s single! By the way, ladies, I am not. So stop with the candy and the letters and the threats already, my wife checks my mail.

Anyhoo, what is Shalom Dammit! about? It’s about 90 minutes, with no intermission. That’s right – we’ve streamlined it. We’ve cut and shaped and trimmed, added and deleted, polished and buffed. If you saw Shalom Dammit! when it was workshopped at the university two years ago, you’re in for a completely different experience. Well, 25-to-30 percent different, but with new songs, new jokes, and a laser-etched focus to my dyspepsia. In other words, it’s more of the same with less of the same, but more, more or less. I talk about politics, religion, the Jewish holidays, Arab terrorists, assimilation, Christianity and my prostate. All the things that Jews are scared of.

So please, if you’re in Greeley during Stampede Week – be careful, you could get trampled. But on Saturday July 6th, come to my show, matinee or evening, of: Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon, at Art Space Greeley, 705 12th Street. For more information and reservations, visit my website: Shalomdammit.com. That’s dammit with two M’s, d-a-m-m-i-t. M and M. M & M? That reminds me, I’m hungry – for the spotlight! See you at the theater on July 6th.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=28943

Dave’s Gone By Interview (6/29/2013): JAY ROGERS & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews comic actor Jay Rogers

Topics include: theater, cabaret, Howard Crabtree, When Pigs Fly.

Segment originally aired June 29, 2013, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Sad Note: Our friend of the Daverhood, Jay Rogers, passed Oct. 28, 2022.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #429 (6/29/2013): JAYTALKING

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Here is the 429th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, June 29, 2013. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s chat with comic actor Jay Rogers (When Pigs Fly). Plus: Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (mom’s birthday), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (momma), Rabbi Sol on taking his stage show to Greeley, CO.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: comic actor Jay Rogers

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:46:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:11:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Jay Rogers
01:50:00 Sponsors & Weather
01:57:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later – Momma
02:24:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #72 – Shalom Dammit! in Greeley, CO
02:30:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Mom’s Birthday
02:56:30 Thanks & Friends
03:06:30 DAVE GOES OFF – Devil Dogs
03:11:30 DAVE GOES OUT

June 29, 2013 Playlist: “Mama” (00:11:00; Electric Light Orchestra). “Mama” (00:18:00; The Sugarcubes). “Momma, Momma, Momma” (00:21:00; I Can Get it for You Wholesale (1962 Broadway cast w/ Elliott Gould). “Now I’m Your Mom” (00:24:00; David Byrne). “I Love My Mom” (00:28:30; The Roches). “Mother’s Day” (00:32:30; Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (2010 Broadway cast w/ Sherie Renee Scott). “Mother Dear” (00:37:30; The Divine Comedy). “Rush” (01:09:00), “Cupid’s Arrow” (01:28:00) & “Laughing Matters” (01:37:00; When Pigs Fly off-Broadway cast w/ Jay Rogers). “Eat, Drink and Be Mary” (01:46:00; Jay Rogers). “Tell Me, Momma” (01:58:00), “Pretty Peggy-O” (02:02:30), “Ain’t Talkin’ ({alternate version} 02:06:00), “Call Letter Blues” (02:12:00) & “Highway 61 Revisited” (02:16:00; Bob Dylan). “Party Doll” (02:28:30; Buddy Knox). “Don’t Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes” (02:35:00; Perry Como). “Earth Angel” (02:38:00; The Penguins). Chopin’s “Prelude in E Minor” (02:40:30; Carmen Dragon Hollywood Symphony Orchestra). “Borchi Nafshi” (02:45:00; Shlomo Carlebach). “Come On a My House” (02:47:30; Mickey Katz).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #71 (6/23/2013): Michael Karkoc

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #71 (6/23/2013): Michael Karkoc

Aired June 22, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY5RnQxvRcc

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of June 23rd, 2013.

The Holocaust. We couldn’t live with it, and 70 years later, we can’t live without it. When it comes to Germany, I believe we can do business with them, we can visit, we can share their arts and culture, and we can even appreciate that the grandchildren of Nazis and the third Reich are blameless for the events of World War II. Nevertheless, it is premature to forgive and forget and make like the Holocaust was ancient history.

We don’t have to wallow, but we also don’t just shake hands and say, “ehhh, the gas chambers were before color TV, so no hard feelings. Your grampa’s a good egg, no matter what paraphernalia he keeps in a trunk in the attic.” We are still reminded of the legacy of that era, most recently by the former Pope, who was a Hitler youth. Yes, every kid was forced to be Hitler youth back then, so it didn’t make the Pope evil, but it sure didn’t make the sonofabitch holy.

And now, in Minnesota, we learn that a Nazi has been living in plain sight for nearly 60 years. Michael Karkoc, 94 years old, lied to American authorities in 1949 when he told them he never did military service for the krauts. Turns out, he was commander of a legion that massacred civilians in the Ukraine and helped stamp out the revolt in the Warsaw Ghetto. Proving that he, directly, killed or tortured anybody will be virtually impossible, but they’ve got strong evidence that Michael Karkoc was yet another pimple on the ass of inhumanity.

What was the smoking gun? His own memoir! This moron published his autobiography, in the Ukrainian language, back in 1995. It’s in the Library of Congress for chrissakes. Shelved right between the book of Job and Milan Kundera. Of course, in his American years, Michael Karkoc has been a model citizen, active in his church, a member of the carpenters’ union and cute like a teddy bear. If he was my next-door neighbor, I probably wouldn’t have suspected a thing – well, unless the lampshade in his window looked suspiciously like my father’s cousin.

But seriously, people are questioning how this demon was allowed into the United States. How did he avoid Nuremberg and get to Minnesota? Granted, living in Minneapolis is its own torture, but still. It is common knowledge that dozens of semi-innocent Germans were given a free pass by the American government for their scientific knowledge and skilled labor. Other war criminals forged documents, paid bribes or lied their way into the good old USA. Ancestry.com and Google did not exist in 1946. Back then, if you didn’t find the birth certificate or the Hollerith card that said, “This guy experimented on gypsies” or “that guy built a scaffold for carrot stealers,” how would you know? In Michael Karkoc’s case, they blew it.

And now you’ll have ignoramuses compounding the travesty by saying, “He’s 94 years old, he’s been a good American, he didn’t pull the trigger – why waste time and money prosecuting a harmless old fart? How many villages is he gonna burn down when he can’t even stir his own Metamucil?” By that logic, every senior citizen behind bars should get a free pass. Charles Manson, Son of Sam – hey, Mark David Chapman isn’t going to kill John Lennon again. Let’s give him fifty bucks, a shoeshine and a rent-controlled apartment in the Dakota.”

Insanity. Some crimes against the world mandate that whoever committed them be removed from society and punished. There is no statute of limitations on the Holocaust. When the last German, or Austrian, or complicit Frenchman or Italian collaborator – when the last person who was alive in 1945 drops dead, then we can truly talk about the Holocaust being history. Until then, I don’t care if you’re 94 or 114, you should be shot like a wild dog and your body dumped in a compost pile for pigs to feast on. Of course, I also feel that way about Kenny G, but this is different. Living a long time does not make you innocent. It makes you lucky to escape the retribution you should have endured way back when. And if Michael Karkoc was just following orders, well, so are the Polish prison doctors who’ll strap him to a table and jam that last needle in his arm. Cruel? It’s an easier way to go than his victims.

So congratulations to the justice department for finding this insect, better late than never. And even if Michael Karkoc joins the choir of eternal hell before standing trial, may he never sleep another peaceful night, may he watch his wife – yes, he has a wife – may he watch her die of heartbreak and shame. And cancer. And may Karkoc’s son – who, of course, denies that his father was a Nazi – like he would know – may his son become like a beacon unto the world. By pouring gasoline on himself and lighting a match.

In this case, the sins of the fathers do get visited onto the children because the father was allowed to live and procreate – a blessing denied the dozens of Jews shot to death or burned alive by his military unit. Yes, I may sound extraordinarily punitive, but nothing about the Holocaust was, or should ever be, ordinary. For the past seven decades, Michael Karkoc passed himself off as an ordinary man. And soon, he will be an ordinary corpse in an ordinary grave. In fact, the only thing out of the ordinary will be the stench of my urine on his weeds.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=28948