Dave’s Gone By #934 (3/9/2024): HOUR TOWN

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Here is the 934th episode of the long-running radio show/video podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Saturday morning, March 9, 2024.

Featuring: StoryTime (“Good Job, Dennis”), Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Limon), Greeley Times, Dave’s Big Dictionary (levity).

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN: Daylight Savings Time, Mike Tyson, Biden n’ Trump
01:09:00 GREELEY TIMES
01:23:00 STORYTIME: “Good Job, Dennis”
01:37:00 BUNION WATCH
01:43:00 DAVE’S BIG DICTIONARY: Levity
02:00:00 Friends of the Daverhood
02:13:00 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED (Limon)
02:18:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Daylight Savings Time
Limon, CO

Dave’s Gone By Skit: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #165 (1/17/2021): FREE SPEECH

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(Rabbi Sol Solomon’s 165th Rabbinical Reflection aired Jan. 16, 2021 as part of the Dave’s Gone By show. watch video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Y0DFpad8eto).

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 17th, 2021.

Can we speak freely? No, I mean, can we speak, freely? I don’t like the “Stop the Steal” mishegoss any more than you do, and I think the nudniks who stormed the Capitol building deserve the strongest punishment. Like fines, imprisonment, or being trapped in an elevator with Jeanine Pirro in your left ear and Nancy Grace in your right. And they’re both using megaphones. And guess what? They’re angry.

But back to the point: we’ve got a paranoid President who is circling the drain because he’s terrified of being called the one thing he is–at least in terms of the 2020 election–a Loser. Not with Israel and the Middle East; he’s a winner there. Not with Wall Street and big business; he’s a Superman there. And, up till March of last year, not with the economy, which had low unemployment, tons of job growth, and a gung-ho attitude. 

But COVID knocked him down, as it did 350,000 of his countrymen. Trump’s rash pronouncements and veiled racial signaling appealed to America’s baser instincts, so although 75 million people voted for him, 80 million didn’t. He lost. Deal with it. I wish he would. I wish his Confederate flag-waving acolytes would. I wish the folks on QAnon would get a Clue-Anon.

However, just before the riots, the President gave a speech where he dubbed the elections fraudulent, the news fake, and the elections rigged by Big Tech. He called on Congress to recount everything, and he said, and I quote, “I know that everyone will soon be marching over to the Capitol building to peacefully and patriotically make your voices heard,” unquote. He also praised the size of the crowd–he does love a big crowd–and urged them to walk down Pennsylvania Avenue. As a protest. As a way for those who legitimately felt the election was stolen to make their voices heard.

For this, Donald Trump was again impeached. For spinning a false narrative, yes, about the election, but moreover for inciting the crowd to riot. “Something is wrong here, really wrong,” he said, “and we fight. We fight like hell, because if you don’t, you’re not going to have a country anymore.” You know what that’s called? Rhetoric. Not insurrection, not incitement to anarchy. It’s a politician telling his believers not to give up hope and to channel their rage into action. If some followers in buffalo skins and football-fan camouflage took that to mean storm the government, break stuff and take stuff, that’s on them. At the very least it’s trespassing; at most it’s sedition. 

The Democrats are accusing the President of having a signed First Sedition. True, he wound the bozos up, but he didn’t set them loose, any more than the makers of Cabbage Patch dolls doing TV commercials telling parents “buy these horrible things for your even-more-horrible children,” caused riots in Kmart. 

But pushing past impeachment and trying to remove Donald Trump from office–which will happen two weeks after he’s already been removed from office–my problem is with the censoring of free speech. President Trump has been banned, permanently, from Twitter.     Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram have deleted him for however long they choose, and YouTube has pulled his channel down. Far more worrisome, they’re doing the same for all his nutty followers who now have no place to share their cries of “fraud!” and “conspiracy!” Google, Apple, and Amazon have all removed the social-media site Parler, because too many kooks were spoiling the broth.

Now, these are private companies–sort of–so their CEOs have the right to monitor everything that goes on them. If you own a restaurant, you can’t discriminate against your customers based on race or gender, but you can still demand, “No shirt, no shoes, no service.” I’ve thrown people out of my synagogue for wearing dirty tallises. Well, they weren’t wearing anything underneath them, but that’s neither here nor there.

The point is we are on a very slippery slope when our biggest purveyors of public palaver start telling us, “Well, you’re allowed to post hopeful things about Joe Biden’s inauguration, but you can’t write anything questioning the legitimacy of his victory.” “You’re allowed to condemn the violent idiots rioting in Nancy Pelosi’s office, but don’t you dare encourage the peaceful idiots to keep marching two blocks away.”

When I was a little Rabbi, a Rabbette, I was taught three things you couldn’t do: yell fire in a crowded shul, slander someone, or be so obscene that a reasonable person would go, “dude, I’m as kinky as the next fetishist, that’s messed up.” But no law says you can’t lie. That’s not even one of the Ten Commandments. Wait, let me make sure (thinks and counts), nope. False witness is different. And there’s certainly nothing in there about not sharing things that you actually believe are true–even if there’s overwhelming evidence they’re false. 

So what happens when you censor folks on the fringe? You make them angrier, you drive them deeper underground, and now it gets harder to track them to make sure they don’t escalate from angry TikTok videos to kidnapping Ilhan Omar. You also cause everyone else to self-censor. “Hmm, maybe I better not post this because they’ll just take it down anyway. Maybe I better not think this, because then I’ll waste time posting it, because they’re just gonna take it down anyway.” 

I am of the mind that you say what you have to say, and if I hate it, I get to say what I have to say back at you, louder. The problem in 1925 was not that Hitler published Mein Kampf; it’s that not enough people read it and went, “ooh, this guy’s bonkers and maybe dangerous.” The problem is not that right-wing Republicans are posting that the elections were a fraud; it’s that they believe it and won’t be de-convinced no matter the proof. Still, prohibiting them from non-violent, non-slanderous, non-obscene communication is non-okay.


Big Brother is already watching us from every stop light, website, Smart TV, closed-circuit camera, and GPS system. You can’t sneeze without someone in the CIA muttering gezundheit. Must we have social-media platforms that restrict content based on alternative narratives? Do we really want to side with Cardinal Maculani over Galileo? With Anthony Comstock over James Joyce? With Ayatollah Khomeini over Salman Rushdie? 

In my version of reality, Donald Trump was an okay president who made just enough poor decisions to lose the election. In your version of reality (points), Donald Trump was a terrible president who should have been impeached before he was elected. Or in your version of reality (points elsewhere), Donald Trump was a great president who got cheated out of a second term. Can’t we all just not get along? Tolerating stupidity is one of the great virtues of our nation. That and cream soda. What, you disagree? That’s your right.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c)2021 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

Dave’s Gone By #781 (1/16/2021): WICKENSPEDIA

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Here is the 781st episode of the long-running radio show/podcast Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Saturday morning, Jan. 16, 2021. More info: davesgoneby.com.

Guests: comedian Shawn Wickens, theater critics Leslie (Hoban) Blake and David Sheward

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews comedian Shawn Wickens and offers his Rabbinical Reflection on Free Speech; Inside Broadway; Greeley Crimes & Old Times; Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Cascade); Today/Yesterday theater quiz (Jan. 16) with Leslie (Hoban) Blake and David Sheward.

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (clerk typist, approaching 57)
00:30:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Shawn Wickens
01:16:30 TODAY/YESTERDAY Trivia Quiz (Jan. 16 w/ Leslie (Hoban) Blake & David Sheward)
02:39:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
02:50:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
03:01:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #165 (Free Speech)
03:13:30 Friends of the Daverhood
03:19:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN (Carvel)
03:25:00 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED (Cascade)
03:26:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Shawn Wickens
Cascade, CO
Leslie (Hoban) Blake
David Sheward
Philip J. Smith
Rabbi Sol Solomon

Dave’s Gone By #771 (11/7/2020): SAPOZITORY

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Here is the 771st episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook, Saturday morning Nov. 7, 2020. More info: davesgoneby.com.

Guests: musicologist Henry Sapoznik, theater critics Leslie (Hoban) Blake and David Sheward, Dave’s wife Joyce

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews musician and musicologist Henry Sapoznik; Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Goodrich, CO); Wretched Pun of Destiny (election); Today/Yesterday (Nov. 7 trivia quiz w/ Leslie (Hoban) Blake and David Sheward

Historic Note: During the Today/Yesterday segment, news came down that Joseph Biden won the 2020 presidential election.

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (writing challenge)
00:36:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:05:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Henry Sapoznik
02:04:00 TODAY/YESTERDAY (Nov. 7 w/ Henry Sapoznik, Leslie (Hoban) Blake, David Sheward
03:21:30 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #83 (election)
03:24:30 Friends of the Daverhood
03:29:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED (Goodrich)
03:32:30 DAVE GOES OFF (voting)
03:48:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Nov. 7, 2020 playlist: “Chicken” (01:04:30; Henry Sapoznik). “Yidele Farlier Nit Dein Hoffnung” (01:50:30; Thomas LaRue).

Henry Sapoznik
Rabbi Sol Solomon & Henry Sapoznik
Leslie (Hoban) Blake
David Sheward

Dave’s Gone By #735 (2/29/2020): FAITH OF LEAP

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Here is the 735th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook, Saturday, Feb. 29, 2020.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guest: author Jenni Raney Edwards

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews author and traveler Jenni Raney Edwards, Greeley Crimes & Old Times, StoryTime (“Just in Time, Abraham Lincoln, part 2), Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Severance), Today Yesterday (Feb. 29).

00:00:01 RABBI SOL GOES IN
00:04:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Jenni Raney Edwards
00:45:00 DAVE GOES IN (1st Bank, Bloomberg ads)
01:21:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:12:30 TODAY YESTERDAY (Feb. 29)
02:34:00 Friends of the Daverhood
02:42:30 STORYTIME (Just in Time, Abraham Lincoln, part 2)
03:00:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
03:14:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED (Severance)
03:19:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Playlist: “Riding in My RV” (00:42:00; Traveling Robert). “Tonight” (02:02:00; Christian Bautista & Jenna Burns). “The Leap Day Leap Year Song” (03:27:00; The Motern Media Holiday Singers).

Jenni Raney Edwards
1st Bank
Just in Time, Abraham Lincoln
Severance, CO

Dave’s Gone By #733 (2/15/2020): PRES RELEASE

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Here is the 733rd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook, Saturday, Feb. 15, 2020.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Featuring: Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Bent County), Inside Broadway, StoryTime (Grumpy Lobster), Potato News, Today Yesterday (Feb. 15).

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN (Presidents Week, politics)
00:52:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:08:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (news & review (01:12:00; Grand Horizons)
01:36:30 POTATO NEWS
01:49:30 STORYTIME (The Grumpy Lobster)
02:07:00 Friends of the Daverhood
02:20:00 TODAY YESTERDAY (Feb. 15)
02:43:00 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED (Bent County)
02:47:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Grand Horizons
Bent County, CO

Dave’s Gone By #692 (4/6/2019): FANTASTICK!

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Here is the 692nd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Sat, April 6, 2019. More info: davesgoneby.com. 

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

GUESTS: Librettist Tom Jones, Dave’s wife Joyce.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews librettist Tom Jones, Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Inside Broadway, Potato News, Potato Hotline, Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Holly), Dave Goes Off (No Collusion).

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (tax relief?)
00:42:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:07:30 POTATO NEWS
01:19:30 POTATO HOTLINE
01:30:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (news & reviews: What the Constitution Means to Me (01:36:30); Accidentally Brave; (01:54:00))
02:09:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Tom Jones
03:10:00 DAVE GOES OFF – No Collusion
03:36:30 Friends of the Daverhood
03:45:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED – Holly
03:47:30 DAVE GOES OUT

April 6, 2019 Playlist: “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” (02:07:30; Oklahoma! 1943 Broadway cast). “They were You” (03:07:30; The Fantasticks 1960 off-Broadway cast). “My Cup Runneth Over” (03:52:30; I Do! I Do! Broadway cast w/ Mary Martin).

Tom Jones
Holly, CO
What the Constitution Means to Me
Accidentally Brave

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #158 (1/2/2019): Farewell 2018

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #158 (1/2/19) – Farewell 2018

Aired Dec. 31, 2018 on Dave’s Gone By.  Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8RIIElz0hH8

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Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the New Year: January 1, 2019.

Well, you can’t say it wasn’t interesting. Even though we had no major war, the economy was robust, and Ruth Bader Ginsberg somehow stayed alive, 2018 was still a pretty goofy year.

We had winter Olympics in South Korea, while President Trump flirted with the supreme leader of North Korea. And who knows what the real relationship is between Trump and Vladimir Putin? Robert Muller is trying to figure it out, although his investigation is going on longer than the Torah portion at a stutterer’s bar mitzvah.

Meanwhile the stock market, which has been on an almost uninterrupted winning streak since the final weeks of George W. Tush, finally obeyed the laws of gravity and dropped 4000 points by early winter. That said, the numbers have been so topsy-turvy, by mid-January we might be back at new highs again—and even newer highs now that Jeff Sessions is out as attorney general. So it’s likely just a matter of time before—just as in Canada now—you can get marijuana anywhere you wanna.

Sessions wasn’t the only one through the revolving door of Donald Trump’s cabinet. The EPA-hating head of the EPA, Scott Pruitt, resigned in July. Trump fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson over his support of the Iran deal. Defense Secretary Jim Mattis disembarked after disagreeing with The Donald about having troops in Syria and Afghanistan—because they’re doing so much good there, right? And even UN Ambassador Nikki Haley hailed a cab—but not before she and the administration made good on their promise to move the U.S. Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem. The new Embassy opened on May 14—the 70th anniversary of the founding of Eretz Yisroel, so whatever else bad I have to say about our President, he gets a big “mezuzahs up—way up!” from me about that.

But not everything was good for the Jews in 2018. In October, a racist lunatic opened fire on Shabbos services, killing eleven at the ironically named “Tree of Life Synagogue” in Pittsburgh. Meanwhile, in Israel, Bibi Netanyahu has a friend in Trump but not many supporters on his home turf. He’s likely to be indicted in two separate fraud investigations. His wife Sara is already indicted on charges that she bilked the government out of $100,000 worth of free meals. I know Kosher food is expensive, but sheesh!

Speaking of folks facing prison time, Bill Cosby is doing 3-to-10 in the pen as punishment for decades of making women stir his pudding. Harvey Weinstein lost his movie company and faces criminal charges over his naughty behavior. And Kevin Spacey struck a blow for equality by proving that gay men can be just as creepy as straight ones.

One creep who got away with it and then some is Brett Kavanaugh, who probably did some bad drunken things to even drunker girls back in the day. But without any real evidence against him, he beat the rap and is now tilting the Supreme Court so far right, it’s a wonder all the benches don’t slide to the window.

And yet, even with so many countries—like Brazil and Hungary—electing hard-line xenophobic nationalists—under the guise of “populism”—good things have also occurred. By a popular vote of two-to-one, Ireland repealed its ban on abortion. India finally decriminalized homosexuality. Iceland made it illegal to pay men more than women for the same job. And after a 35-year ban, Saudi Arabia reopened its movie theaters and gave women the right to drive. They even opened an amusement park with a house of horrors—no, wait, that’s just the Saudi Arabian Embassy.

In the 2016 US midterm elections, a record number of women were voted into Congress—most of them Democrats, so the GOP now faces a government more split than Chris Christie’s pants. Even before the House pivots left next week, the White House faces gridlock. As we speak—well, I’m speaking—we’re in a partial government shutdown because the President wants a wall, and the Democrats prefer a bridge. At stake are a few measly billion dollars, which, considering we’re facing a trillion-dollar deficit next year, is really chump change. And hopefully we’ll change the chump in 2020.

Some not-so-nice changes happened to the internet this year. Facebook knows your voting habits, food preferences, and underwear color—and they’ve been selling that information to data-mining firms for years. And the FCC torpedoed “net neutrality,” so now big media companies can charge more for faster internet—or slow down or block sites that aren’t theirs. You think it’s no big deal, but just wait till it takes eight hours to watch a threesome on Redtube.

And speaking of hot, California nearly burned to the ground with wildfires. Too bad Indonesia didn’t loan them their tsunami water. And summertime saw heated protests over gun control after yet another school shooting—this one at a high school in Parkland, Florida. Seventeen people were killed, though many who survived created the gun-control activist group, Never Again. I kind of wish they’d pick another phrase, since that one is reserved for a previous horror, but be that as it may, one kid who survived became a real spokesman for the movement and has just been accepted into Harvard. Boy, the requirements to get into the Ivy League just get tougher and tougher, don’t they?

We had some tough losses in 2018: Penny Marshall, who was in a league of her own. Stan Lee, who was Marvelous. John McCain, a war hero who voted his conscience. (He didn’t always have the brightest conscience, but who does?) We lost both Barbara Bush and George Herbert Walker Bush, who had a mediocre Presidency but absolutely horrible sperm. He also had a funeral that lasted longer than a stutterer’s Bar M—oops, I used that one already. Farewell to film directors Milos Forman and Bernardo Bertolucci, who made people say, “I can’t believe that is butter.” Goodbye to Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, who were luckier than 99 percent of the world population but still chose the next life over this one. Aloha to Stephen Hillenburg, who had this crazy idea that a sponge and a starfish would make a fun cartoon, and Stephen Bochco, who actually believed TV viewers would want to spend an hour every week with lawyers. Go figure. Farewell to Burt Reynolds, who posed in Playgirl magazine to show his longest yard. We lost Bill Daily of I Dream of Jeannie, David Ogden Stiers of M*A*S*H, Harry Anderson of Night Court, and Hugh Wilson who created WKRP in Cincinnati. Novelist Tom Wolfe, who had the right stuff. Country musician Roy Clark—Salute! Aretha Franklin—Respect! Dolores O’Riordan, who should have lingered a little longer. Neil Simon, who, lucky for us, was always Broadway bound. Stephen Hawking, who popularized physics but bashed and boycotted Israel, so wherever he is, I hope he’s still in a wheelchair.

Returning to happier news this year, Ethiopia and Eritrea declared a truce after 20 years of war. Who knew? And a whole soccer team and their coach were rescued after three weeks trapped in a cave in Thailand. And water was discovered on Mars. Meh. If they discover seltzer there, then they’d have something. But everyone was looking up at the sky on August 11th, when a partial solar eclipse made us put aside the violence, the politics, the dysfunction, and just take in the wonder of nature. It was the moment we all realized that no matter how crazy things are every day, at any minute the earth could spin off its axis, and we could all be obliterated, so why worry?

My hope for 2019 is that we all work together, we all help each other, and that we actually do discover seltzer on Mars. Hey, it’s better than getting chocolate milk from Uranus.

I wish you all a most happy and healthy Shanah Tova Americana. This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c) 2018 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

Dave’s Gone By Interview (11/3/2018): WILL DURST & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with comedian Will Durst

Topics include: politics, radio, Lenny Bruce, Donald Trump.
Segment aired Nov. 3, 2018 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

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Dave’s Gone By Skit: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #152 (1/1/2018): Farewell 2017

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #152 (1/1/18): Farewell 2017

(Aired Dec. 31, 2017 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube: https://youtu.be/LZok1OAX8Gk)

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Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 1, 2018.

Hard to believe, but the tumultuous, ridiculous year of 2017, or, as I like to call it, 5777-5778, is coming to an end. We’ve made it through 365 days without a nuclear war, an ice age, and a new Renny Harlin film, so why grouse?

As I did last year, I have chosen to summarize the events of the past annum in a poetical-artistical form, so I hope you will bear with me as we bid shalom to the current year and, well, shalom to the next. Seriously, whoever invented Hebrew really dropped the ball on word coinage. Anyhoo, here goes:

`Twas the night before New Year’s and throughout this great land,
Americans took about all they could stand

The country was split between blue states and red
And folks on each side wished the other side dead

The Democrats never imagined they’d lose
To a man who refers to the truth as “fake news”

A man who will speak without filters or grace
Though he could not repeal and he could not replace

And so, onto migrants Trump’s temper did fall
But Mexico said, “We won’t pay for your wall!”

“Now, folks,” said The Donald, “I’m just getting warm!
I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll do tax reform!”

And just before Christmas, the bill it did pass.
It’s great for the rich, not the poor and middle-class.

The stock market soared, the jobless claims fell
And still we all feel like we’re going to hell

Big hurricanes drowned with their winds and their waves
And statues came down `cause their subjects owned slaves

The national anthem brought teams to their knees
While Hollywood drowned in an ocean of sleaze

Oh Spacey, oh Keillor, oh Lauer, oh Franken
A few should get jailtime, the others a spankin’

The Democrats grinned when Fox News canned O’Reilly
Till the axe fell on Schwartz, Hockenberry, and Smiley

And suddenly hashtags were filled with “Me Toos”
Against a whole passel of rich, horny Jews

Yet Hollywood shlock remained vegetative
“Star Wars” 26 – how innovative!

But at least cinema took our minds off our woes
Prince Harry did, too, when he chose to propose

But still there were shootings by Muslims and crazies
With Jason Aldean fans all pushing up daisies

Now, that Vegas massacre was not by a Muslim
But they sure got mad at a Jewish Jerus’lem

And speaking of mad, how about North Korea
Which seems like it’s ready to start World War Threea

The pundits were urging our chief to stay calm
While Rocket Man threatened to liquidate Guam

But Trump was no Scrooge, no fiend out of Dickens
Why, he tossed paper towels at wet Puerto Ricans

He railed against Clinton, he’s threatening DACA
He kisses hot women but won’t use Binaca

He seated Neil Gorsuch upon the high court
To make it much harder for girls to abort

He praised Neo-Nazis so white folks were mollified
And all his appointees were ultra-unqualified

That said, he bombed Syria for murder by gas
So why does he Tweet and kiss Putin’s ass?

O.J.’s a free man until his next trial
And Mary Tyler Moore turned off her smile

This year we lost Domino, Berry, and Petty
And Allman and Cassidy and enough already.

2018 is just up ahead
With midterm elections to fill us with dread

The Winter Olympics will bore us with thrills
So doctors, please don’t ban our opioid pills

We’ll need them to get through each day and each night
Happy New Year to all, and to all a “La-La-Land.” I mean, “Moonlight!”

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches, in Great Neck, New York. Shana Tovah!

(c) 2017 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.