Month: May 2020

The 68th Wretched Pun of Destiny airs May 9, 2020 on Dave’s Gone By. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Musician Dean Wareham, of Galaxie 500 and Luna fame, finds himself spending most of his time writing film scores. Tired of commuting to the coast, he looks for apartments in L.A. A friend tells him that actress Elizabeth Hurley owns a gorgeous co-op with a perfect one-bedroom available. 

“It’s a great deal,” says the friend, “but be careful. The co-op board is crazy.” 

Still, Wareham makes an appointment to meet with them. They tell him to show up at 4:30 in the morning and wear a plastic raincoat. The singer does, and he’s met there by the actress and a half-dozen tenants.

Before Wareham can even sit down, all the board members take bottles of Heinz ketchup and start spraying him, covering him head to foot. Finally, Elizabeth Hurley stops them, holds out her hand, and says, “Welcome, neighbor!”

This may sound like a strange method of apartment hunting, but you know what they say: The Hurley Board Ketchups the Wareham.