Dave’s Gone By Skit (11/16/2024): STORYTIME w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon: BAGEL IN LOVE

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Dave’s Gone By Skit (11/16/2024): STORYTIME: Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads “Bagel in Love”

For this week’s StoryTime segment on Dave’s Gone By, Rabbi Sol Solomon reads Natasha Wing’s “Bagel in Love” 

This segment aired Nov. 16, 2024 as part of the 967th “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com. 

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

 More on Rabbi Sol: shalomdammit.com

INDEX – Dave’s Gone By Skits – List & Links

Hi folks! Here, listed chronologically, are the archives of skits & sketches performed on DAVE’S GONE BY.

Nov. 16, 2024: StoryTime with Rabbi Sol Solomon: Bagel in Love
Subject: Rabbi Sol reads Natasha Wing’s children’s book, Bagel in Love.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29976

April 23, 2022: No Show
Subject: On vacation, Dave greets viewers with a no-show-today mini-show.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29976

April 16, 2022: Old Gilbert
Subject: Dave chats with an old “Gilbert Gottfried” about his life.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29913

November 20, 2021: Three Percent
Subject: Mischa Dani Goodman performs Dave’s short solo comedy as part of The PlayGround Experiment’s Faces of America Monologue Festival.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=27740

November 13, 2021: Rabbi Sol Solomon Attends a Bat Mitzvah
Subject: Rabbi Sol chats with guests at the Bat Mitzvah of Dave’s cousin, Logan Sheflin.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=27652

July 11, 2020: Dave’s Gone Canceling #2 – Quick Draw McGraw
Subject: With America gone cancel-culture happy, Dave selects a target: cartoon character Quick Draw McGraw
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=27784

June 27, 2020: Dave’s Gone Canceling #1 – Joni Mitchell
Subject: With America gone cancel-culture happy, Dave selects a target: Joni Mitchell.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=27749

April 25, 2020: Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads Shakespeare’s Sonnet #30
Subject: Rabbi Sol takes part in Irondale Ensemble’s virtual Shakespeare Sonnet Marathon.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=19629

Feb. 8, 2014: Bob Dylan for WaxVac
Subject: An advertisement: Bob Dylan for WaxVac ear cleaner.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9253

Aug. 3, 2013: Weiner for Mayor
Subject: Anthony Weiner’s weiner runs for mayor against the very man who made him.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9489

March 12, 2006: Blarney O’Bunions
Subject: A public service announcement about drinking and driving on St. Patrick’s Day.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9248

Feb. 5, 2006: Hermann Glogauer on Football
Subject: A look at football from a very, very, very old man.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9365

Jan. 22, 2006: Buttboink Mountain
Subject: A landmark film about two men doing manly things. (Featuring guest voice: Jeff Goodman)
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9259

Aug. 11, 2005: Homo Hendrix
Subject: Gay icon Peter Fitzgerald weighs in an a biography of Jimi Hendrix that questions his sexuality.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9370

July 28, 2005: So You Wanna be a Terrorist
Subject: A game show for budding enemies of mankind.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9456

Dec. 2, 2004: Fiddler is a Pouf
Subject: Peter Fitzgerald looks at Fiddler in a gay way.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9317

Nov. 11, 2004: Javier Magruder
Subject: A patriotic skit of sorts.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9382

Aug. 19, 2004: McGreevey
Subject: Gay activist Peter Fitzgerald discusses the political missteps of New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9406

July 29, 2004: Handyman Yoni on Caulk
Subject: Handyman Yoni explains the importance of caulk.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9354

July 8, 2004: Apocalypse Rumsfeld
Subject: An offensive look at the Secretary of Defense.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9237

June 17, 2004: Baghdad Elections
Democracy comes to no man’s land. (featuring guest voice Joe Salzone)
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9243

(May 20, 2004): Chez Berg
Recommendations on how Arab terrorists can make their deeds more palatable to the West. (featuring guest voice Jeff Goodman)
—> Full Episode

(Feb. 9, 2004): Valentine’s Day with Rabbi Sol Solomon
The great Rabbi Sol Solomon offers his thoughts on Valentine’s Day and takes phone calls from listeners Esther and Philip.
—> Full Episode

(Dec. 1, 2003): Woody’s Analyst
Dave imagines a conversation between Woody Allen and his therapist.
—> Full Episode

(Nov. 24, 2003): Michael Jackson
Joe Salzone interviews controversial pop legend Michael Jackson.
—> Full Episode

(Sept. 22, 2003): Folk Music
Professor Yoni Huttenanni explains folk music.
Listen / Full Episode

(Sept. 22, 2003): Long Island Haiku
Listen / Full Episode

(Sept. 22, 2003): A Suburban Home Companion
If Minnesota can have a radio home companion, why not suburban Long Island?
Listen / Full Episode

(July 20, 2003): Well, Well, Weller
Radio host Joe Salzone interviews Russell Weller,* the 86-year-old man whose Buick LeSabre plowed into 60 people at a Santa Monica Farmer’s Market.
Listen / Full Episode

(June 29, 2003): Happy And
Gay activist Peter Fitzgerald on Gay Pride Day.
Listen / Full Episode

(March 30, 2003): Luther Zizland
The thoughts of a U.S. Army private sent overseas to where they don’t like us.
Listen / Full Episode

(March 16, 2003): The Story of Seamus (The Urine Man)
Listen / Full Episode

On a trip to Ireland, Dave and his wife encounter a legend who inspires Dave’s song, “Seamus, the Urine Man.”

(Feb. 2, 2003): Groundhogs
A look at the life of groundhogs on their special day. (guest voice: Jeff Goodman)
Listen / Full Episode

(Jan. 26, 2003): Missile Hunter
The dangerous job of Steve Merwin, Missile Hunter.
Listen / Full Episode

(Jan. 12, 2003): Cleola Bevers
Radio host Joe Salzone interviews an old acquaintance of Martin Luther King, Cleola Bevers.
Listen / Full Episode

(Dec. 22, 2002): Lady Miss Ida Mae Roosevelt’s Christmas Broadcast 1954
Dave unearths a lost audio tape of early Long Island farm broadcaster Lady Miss Ida Mae Roosevelt.
Listen / Full Episode

(Dec. 15, 2002): Thanks a Lott
Senator Trent Lott offers an apology for his racially insensitive praise of Strom Thurmond.
Listen / Full Episode

(Dec. 8, 2002): Wrong Island Cablevision
A commercial for the wonders of Cablevision’s service and programming.
Listen / Full Episode

(Dec. 8, 2002): Cablevision Poem
Dave dedicates a poem to his cable TV provider.
Listen / Full Episode

(Dec. 1, 2002): Uninsurance – Christopher Reeve
An insurance company calls actor Christopher Reeve to notify him of a policy change.
Listen / Full Episode

(Dec. 1, 2002): Uninsurance – Run DMC
An insurance company calls Run DMC to notify them of a policy change.
Listen / Full Episode

Nov. 24, 2002: The Dreidel Game
Rabbi Sol Solomon plays the Chanukah dreidel game with guest Rabbi Jeff Rothenberg
Listen / Full Episode

Nov. 24, 2002: News for Jews
Rabbi Sol Solomon offers a special edition of the News Gone By segment — news of the week from his uniquely Jewish perspective.
Listen / Full Episode

Nov. 17, 2002: It’s Been Great, It’s Bin Laden
Dave plays the latest tape from international fugitive Osama Bin Laden.
Listen / Full Episode

Nov. 3, 2002: Peter Byfield
Dave plays a paid political announcement from a non-molesting candidate.
Listen / Full Episode

Nov. 3, 2002: The Giving Chimp
Subject: Dave reads an early (and justly rejected) draft of Shel Silverstein’s famous story, “The Giving Tree,” titled “The Giving Chimp.”
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9343

Oct. 27, 2002: Pre-Tampered Yummies
Subject: A Halloween advertisement for candy that’s extra-convenient.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9432

Oct. 27, 2002: Trick or Treat
Subject: A woman faces the worst kind of Halloween horror. (featuring guest voice: Karen Young).
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9471
—> Full Episode

Oct. 20, 2002: Chief Moist Elk
Subject: Native-American Chief Moist Elk offers his thoughts on America’s history with smallpox.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9300
—> Full Episode

Oct. 20, 2002: The Puff Sullivan Letter
Subject: Taking a cue from Sullivan Ballou, Dave reads the modern wartime missive, The Puff Sullivan Letter.
—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=9439

2010_0519_Sept_GREELEYCO_dave_googleyglasses

Dave’s Gone By Skit (9/28/2024): STORYTIME w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon: David and Goliath

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STORYTIME: Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads “David and Goliath”

For this week’s StoryTime segment on Dave’s Gone By, Rabbi Sol Solomon reads Marlene Targ Brill’s “David and Goliath.” 

This segment aired Sept. 28, 2024 as part of the 962nd “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com. 

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

 More on Rabbi Sol: shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #189 (9/21/2024): Hezbollah Jokes

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #189 (9/24/2024): Hezbollah Jokes

airs Sept. 21, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By.  

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the beginning of autumn, 2024.

Whether secretly, guiltily, worriedly, or flat-out joyously, every Jew is having a big “Who’s Your Daddy?” moment right now. After nearly a year of rooting out the Gaza animals of October 7th while trading fire with the opportunistic vermin of Southern Lebanon, Israel needed a shot in the arm. They got it by giving hundreds of our enemies a pow in the pants!

All these terrorists across Lebanon and Syria had been communicating through pagers—I guess because their mommies wouldn’t let them have cell phones like big-boy psychopaths. Well, those Israeli-made pagers were programmed to detonate, and detonate they did. The Arabs should have known something was up when they opened the box and the first thing they read was, “Para Explotar, Marque el Ocho.”

These paramilitary Islamists suffered hundreds of injuries to faces, eyes, hands, genitals — now they look as grotesque as they behave. And, yes, a couple of civilians and children died. I guess up in heaven they can mingle with all the dead Jews from the music festival. And, yes, we’re all anxious about this new brand of warfare and what method of retribution the Islamists will select. But from the Yom Kippur attack to 9/11 to the Supernova Festival, our nemeses have never displayed a hint of human decency. So, nu, you think this long-deserved punishment will suddenly turn them evil? I say, “Now’s the time to be proactive and invent some poison prayer mats.” 

But I can’t let this fantastic reminder of Mossad ingenuity and Jewish toughness go by without a little more levity. My friends, I bring you jokes: twisted punchlines for my Israeli brethren, who get knocked down but punch right back.

Why are Israeli pagers a bargain?
You get a lot of bang for the buck.

Do the Syrians listen to Spotify?
No, they carry a boom box.

Did Mossad make a list of all their targets?
Yes, and they paged through it. 

What was the most impressive thing Israel pulled off?
They pulled off dicks, lips, fingers…

Did Hezbollah leader Ibrahim Aqil enjoy his time in Beirut?
He had a blast!

Did you know that Aqil had blue eyes?
Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that…

(Okay, that was an old one, but this next one’s mine): 
Why are the Lebanese such fine pool players?
Their balls go straight into the pockets.

At what part relay races do Lebanese men excel?
The hand off.

Why are Syrian generals feeling so lonely?
They lost all their privates.

(I didn’t write this next one, but I have to share it:)
What wireless carrier were the Lebanese using?
A-TNT.

Why was the Mossad attack like Nazis euthanizing the mentally ill?
They made all the nuts disappear.

What Broadway musical just came to Syria?
Maim.

What Italian movie just came to Lebanon?
Blowup.

Why shouldn’t Lebanese men drink?
After they feel a little buzz, they fly to pieces.

What will Syrian men use to avoid Covid?
Wrist sanitizer.

How can you tell when a Lebanese man is gay?
His vibrator goes up his ass.

What do Syrian genitals have in common with an English breakfast?
Bangers and mash.

What do a Lebanese man’s testicles have in common with The Flintstones?
Bam Bam. 

What’s the funniest thing about all these Hezbollahs being killed or disabled?
Everything.

Happy New Year, my friends! This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Time to turn the page!

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

Dave’s Gone By Skit: STORYTIME w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon: SECRETS OF THE OCTOPUS, Part 2

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Dave’s Gone By Skit (7/27/2024): STORYTIME: Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads “Secrets of the Octopus,” Part 2

For this week’s StoryTime segment on Dave’s Gone By, Rabbi Sol Solomon continues to read from Sy Montgomery’s book, “Secrets of the Octopus.”

This segment aired July 27, 2024 as part of the 953rd “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com. 

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

 More on Rabbi Sol: shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: STORYTIME w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon – “SECRETS OF THE OCTOPUS”

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Dave’s Gone By Skit (7/6/2024): STORYTIME: Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads “Secrets of the Octopus”

For this week’s StoryTime segment on Dave’s Gone By, Rabbi Sol Solomon reads from Sy Montgomery’s book, “Secrets of the Octopus.”

This segment aired July 6, 2024 as part of the 951st “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com. 

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

 More on Rabbi Sol: shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: STORYTIME w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon – Schmegoogle

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Dave’s Gone By Skit (6/29/2024): STORYTIME: Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads “Schmegoogle”

For this week’s StoryTime segment on Dave’s Gone By, Rabbi Sol Solomon skims through Daniel Klein’s book Yiddish-friendly book, “Schmegoogle.”

This segment aired June 29, 2024 as part of the 950th “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com. 

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

 More on Rabbi Sol: shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #187: Tony Time 2024

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #187 (6/15/2024): Tony Awards 2024

airs June 15, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By.  

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for June 16—Tony Night—2024.

Oh, my friends, the time has come as it does every year (except the year of the pandemic) to celebrate and honor excellence in the Broadway theater. The Tonys are named for Antoinette “Tony” Perry, an actress and early female stage director who founded the American Theater Wing, which brought shows to our servicemen in World War II. In 1947, Tony Perry and producer Brock Pemberton cooked up the idea of giving out prizes at the end of the season. Here we are, 77 events later, and the Tonys are a ritual, a commercial for Broadway, and an excuse to complain when musical numbers all sound the same or a performer we love gets egregiously overlooked. 

For me, the Tonys are also a time to remember, with pride, just how crucial Jewish people were in creating Broadway, and how they are still—even in this age of trannies and Sudanis and Kardashian fannies—a theatrical force to be reckoned with. For example, “Mary Jane” may be the most goyische name for a character ever, but Mary Jane the Tony-nominated play is by Amy Herzog. She’s half-Jewish on her mother’s side and comes from a long line of Marxist, far-left socialist, and other politically wrongheaded but super-Jewish beliefs.

Speaking of 50/50 Jewesses, Paula Vogel is back on the Tony roster with Mother Play, about a mama who smokes and drinks gin. Okay, not Jewish, but we don’t want her to be. Plus, last decade, Vogel wrote Indecent, that lovely play about Yiddish theater and lesbians, two subjects I can’t think about without reaching for a box of tissues, albeit for different reasons. 

Now, another nominated playwright, David Adjmi, is American-Syrian. (worried pause) Syrian-Jewish! (happy dance) Adjmi’s play Stereophonic, about a rock band in crisis, looks to be the one to beat for the Tony statuette. The competition is Jaja’s African Hair Braiding, by schvartze-shickseh playwright Jocelyn Bioh—hey, Jews can’t hog every nomination—and also a new play by Joshua Harmon, who wrote a comedy years ago called “Bad Jews!” 

Well, Harmon’s Prayer for the French Republic is a three-hour Jewfest, a heartfelt exploration of why Jews never feel safe anywhere for very long. If you can believe it, the play was written two years before the latest cataclysm and before every putz walking a college campus turned into a billboard for Hamas. One of the show’s characters is a progressive Jewish chick who rails against Israel because she doesn’t understand that without Israel, Holocaust II is just a sequel waiting to happen. For making that case alone, Joshua Harmon deserves an award—not from the Tonys but from the B’nai B’rith.

But before we get too serious, let’s find some other Yids in the Tony tally. Songwriter Shaina Taub, the shayna maidel who wrote the musical Suffs, has said that the Jewish idea of tikkun olam, repairing the world, is a vital part of her ideology. Half-Jewish Liev Schreiber just played Anne Frank’s father in a TV miniseries,and Michael Stuhlbarg, raised as a Reform Jew, was the Rabbinically cursed Larry Gopnik in the Coen Brothers’ film, A Serious Man.

Now, this does bring us to actress Quincy Tyler Bernstine. She’s black. And I have no idea if… (mouths) Bernstine? However, both her parents were lawyers, and she went to Brown University, so even if Bernstine is not a Bernstein, she’s fine. The same goes for special Tony winner Abe Jacob, a legendary sound designer who’s probably Jewish, but I can’t prove it, and Alex Edelman, whose one-man show, Just for Us, brings us back to—you got it—anti-Semitism as an American pastime. Edelman, raised Orthodox, talks about assimilating and wanting to be like everyone else but still feeling unsure how he fits in. He also recounts attending a meeting of Neo-Nazis just to study their mindset. Actually, I could have saved him a trip; just go to your nearest university student government and watch them vote on divestment.

But Mazel Tov to Alex Edelman, Featured Actress nominee Shoshana Bean, Featured Actor Steven Skybell (whose last big role was a Yiddish Tevye!), and let’s not forget half-Jewish Daniel Radcliffe! Yes, Harry Potter’s magic wand is circumcised.

Not surprisingly, we see many landslayt in the Best Musical Revival category—remember when all musicals were Jewish even when they weren’t Jewish? (sighs) Anyhoo, there’s Cabaret, Gutenberg! The Musical!, Merrily We Roll Along, and The Who’s Tommy—all with some Jewish connection. Cabaret covers the rise of Nazi Germany and its effect on Jews and Gentiles alike. Well, not alike: Jews suffered worse. But the score was co-written by John Kander—Jewish, and still alive at 97!—and Fred Ebb—no longer alive but Jewish when he was!

Gutenberg! The Musical! was written by two shaygitzes, but the name “Gutenberg” sounds Jewish, and, hey, he printed the Bible, so he gets a pass. Pete Townshend, who wrote the music for Tommy, has always looked Jewish, so thumbs up for that. And how can we leave out the melech malchei hamlachim, Stephen Sondheim, whose Merrily We Roll Along finally became a Broadway smash? That musical shows how youthful idealism corrodes into cynicism, disappointment, and schadenfreude. What could be more Jewish?

And so, chaverim, we await Broadway’s big night: the teary-eyed speeches, black actresses thanking the Lord, gay directors thanking their husbands, viewers at home thanking God that Jo Koy isn’t hosting. My hope for the Tonys is that anyone wearing a Gaza pin on their dress accidentally sits on it, and that we are spared acceptance speeches that sneak in brainless homilies on ceasefire and two-state solutions and other subjects pampered Broadway snowflakes know less than nothing about. Stick to art, stick to entertainment! I just wish they’d stop sticking it to consumers by charging $200 for orchestra seats. (Go figure how all these socialists don’t mind a little free-market capitalism when it comes to their paychecks.)

But I can get only so angry at the theater, which has given me so much nachas over the years. May creativity and beauty always be replenished, and may Broadway, that Fabulous Invalid, which has survived world wars, assassinations, Covid, and even TikTok, forever go on with the show.

This has beena Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Curtain up!

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=83401

Dave’s Gone By Skit (6/8/2024): STORYTIME w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon: “The P Word,” Part 3 (lefkowitz)

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STORYTIME: Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads “The P Word,” Part 3

For this week’s StoryTime segment on Dave’s Gone By, Rabbi Sol Solomon continues to read from David Hu’s book, “The P Word.”

This segment aired June 8, 2024 as part of the 947th “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com. 

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

 More on Rabbi Sol: shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #186 (6/8/2024): Maldives n’ Mexico

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #186 (6/8/2024): Maldives n’ Mexico

airs June 8, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube video:  

I am mmmmarveling at the news this week involving two countries with mmmmarkedly different responses to the mmmmadness in the Mmmmiddle East. I am talking about the Maldives and Mexico. One of them is meretricious, the other marvelous. 

So as the patient says to the doctor: “Bad news first.” The Maldives. It even has “mal,” a prefix meaning “bad,” in its own name. What are the Maldives? They’re a teeny Republic in South Asia, about 115 square miles of land with the rest in the Indian Ocean. And considering all the things Indians do in the ocean, it’s best not to drink the water. Or visit the Maldives. 

Not that you could visit the Maldives right now if you were an Israeli. President Mohamed Muizzu — who belongs in a zoo — has banned anyone with an Israeli passport from entering the country, this in response to the war in Gaza. Why any Jew would visit this place in the first place is a puzzlement. Maldives is a country so Muslim that the practice of any other religion is forbidden by law. This is also a land that not only prohibits homosexuality but reprimands anybody kissing or even holding hands in public. So, basically, if you wonder what the Bahamas or Aruba would be like if they took away the fun and relaxation and replaced it with totalitarian jihad, you’ve got the Maldives. 

In 2023 about 5,000 Jews visited the various Maldive islands. Maybe they were Orthodox and appreciated the modest-clothing rules and pork-free eating. Maybe they just wanted to watch other Semites inflict suffering on themselves for once instead of being tormented by others. Even prior to this ban, only 500 Yids Maldived themselves this year, and one hopes that goyim, in solidarity with Israel, will put Maldives on their “fuck-it” list. But hey, there’s sand and palm trees and, thanks to climate change, more and more and more water. It’s an Arcadia—and a perfect spot to relocate a few thousand displaced Palestinians! What? Dr. Muizzu? Not returning their calls? Well, at least you support them in theory. 

But what gives me joy in reality is the result of a Presidential election held this week in Mexico. Replacing current honcho Andrés Manuel López Obrador is someone with a shorter name, thank God, but also a highly promising name. Winning a landslide victory is Mexico’s first female leader and first Jewish leader: Claudia Sheinbaum! I’m not kidding — Claudia Sheinbaum! Her heritage is a mix of Ashkenazic Lithuanian and Sephardic Bulgarian, and she’s a scientist with a PhD—a Jewish doctor will be running Mexico!

They should get her to deal with climate change in the Maldives because she’s an expert—she was part of a Nobel Prize-winning UN think tank on the topic—and she’s pro-choice, pro LGBT, big on mass transit and bicycle paths—yeah, she’s kind of a lefty. And a landsman. 

The cheeriest aspect of this political event is that despite Jews being despised seemingly everywhere in the world, Mexicans looked beyond that and picked a Shein-a maidel! She was the outgoing president’s choice, and because the peso has been in decent shape, and because the drug cartels have been killing only every third tourist, voters are giving Sheiny the sheeny a shot.

Please let us support her by purchasing all things Mexican: jumping beans, refried beans, bootleg t-shirts of Mr. Bean. Also, spend your vacation dollars South of the Border. And I don’t mean getting a pubic wax, I mean Guadalajara, Cancun, Oaxaca, Acapulco, and lest we forget, charming Ciudad Nezahualcóyotl.

Oh, my friends, we are forever asking: Is it good for the Jews? If Judaism has taught us anything, it’s that things can change in a blink. But right now: viva México! And Maldives? ¡Vete a la mierda! 

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. ¡Arriba!

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

—> https://shalomdammit.wordpress.com/2024/06/05/rabbi-sol-solomons-rabbinical-reflection-186-6-8-2024-maldives-n-mexico-lefkowitz/

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=83337