Beatles – Dave's Gone By

Dave’s Gone By Song: I’M GONNA USE THAT GIRL

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Dave’s Gone By Song (7/25/2026): I’M GONNA USE THAT GIRL

A cautionary Beatles parody.

This segment aired July 25, 2026 on the “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

SONG: I’m Gonna Use That Girl

I’M GONNA USE THAT GIRL

(sung to the melody of John Lennon & Paul McCartney’s “You’re Gonna Lose That Girl”)

I’m gonna use that girl

(yes, yes, he’s gonna use that girl)

Until you lose that girl

(yes, yes, until you lose that girl)

If you don’t do her right tonight,

you will be dumped and fast

(you will be dumped and fast)

We’ll bill and coo by candlelight,

then I will pump her ass

(he’s gonna pump her ass)

I’m gonna use that girl

(yes, yes, he’s gonna use that girl)

You don’t amuse that girl

(yes, yes, you don’t amuse that girl)

If you don’t make her cum tonight,

she’s gonna pack her shit

(she’s gonna pack her shit)

And then I’ll do her where she’s tight

and just demolish it

(he’s gonna pound her clit)

You’re gonna lose that girl

(you’re gonna lose that girl)

`Cause I’ll abuse that girl

(yes, yes, he will abuse that girl)

You’re gonna lose…

I’ll make her see

you’re nothing but a wimp, yeah

When she’s with me

I’ll treat her like a pimp

Loser

I’m gonna schmooze that girl

(he’s gonna schmooze that girl)

Until you lose that girl

(yes, yes, until you lose that girl)

Until you lose…

I’m sorry, dude,

I know rejection hurts

(rejection hurts)

I’ll get her nude

and spank her till she squirts

I’m gonna do her all night long

until she’s good and sore

(Until she’s good and sore)

And by the time she staggers home

she’s gonna be my whore

(She’s gonna be your whore)

I’m gonna use that girl

(He’s gonna use that girl)

Until you lose that girl

(Yes, yes, you’re gonna lose that girl)

I’m gonna use that girl.

Dave’s Gone By #1028 (4/11/2026): ASH SATURDAY

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Here is episode #1028, “Ash Saturday,” of the Dave’s Gone By podcast, which aired live on Facebook, Saturday morning, April 11, 2026.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews playwright S. Asher Gelman; Greeley Times; Colorado Limerick of the Damned (College Hills); StoryTime (Potato Pants); Dave’s song “Don’t Bugger Me.”

Guests: playwright and director S. Asher Gelman; spiritual leader Rabbi Sol Solomon

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce: naughty producers, Art Paul’s paintings, Passover onions
00:49:30 DAVE SAYS BYE: Terry Schreiber, David Gersten
00:59:30 GREELEY TIMES
01:33:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews S. Asher Gelman
02:14:00 STORYTIME: Potato Pants (by Laurie Keller)
02:42:00 MY OLD PHLEGM: Aladdin’s lamp
02:48:30 Friends of the Daverhood
02:59:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED: College Hills, CO
03:02:30 DAVE GOES OUT

April 11, 2026 Playlist: “Don’t Bugger Me” (02:38:30; Dave)

Art Paul Schlosser, Painting for Day 348: “When You’re Feeling Blue”

SONG: Don’t Bugger Me

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DON’T BUGGER ME

(Sung to the melody of The Beatles’s “Don’t Bother Me” by George Harrison)

The judge said, “Hey, you’ll have to pay, you did the crime.”
I’m in the pen with many men all doing time.
So go away, leave me alone
Don’t bugger me.

I live in fear `cause people here are queer and black
They look so tough I know they’d roughly stuff my crack
So put away your throbbing bone
Don’t bugger me.

I’m crying nightly without hope
I hold on tightly to my soap
Because I know if I bend low
That’s where these friends will go

Yes, I am cowed by this whole crowd so well-endowed
One of these weeks they’ll spread my cheeks and I’ll get plowed
Don’t make me share my derrière
Don’t bugger me

So get a life, I’m not your wife
Don’t bugger me

Although my butt is firm and cute
I don’t want sperm in my poop chute
Because my ass is just a vent
For gas and excrement

It’s fair to say men locked away still have a need
But if they jump upon my rump, I’ll scream and bleed
So listen here, steer clear of my rear
Don’t bugger me
Don’t bugger me
Don’t bugger me
Don’t bugger me

****************************
NOTES & BACKSTORY:
[April 2026]: Another song that came to me partially one late afternoon, marinated in me overnight, and then got finished and recorded the next day (April 9, 2026, to be exact). I’m proud(?) to say this is my 14th Beatles parody yet not the first to reference sodomy (cf. “Chester’s Gay”). I think the “plowed” rhyme is my favorite, followed by “I’m not your wife.” Note – `twas only during the recording process that I hit upon adding Ned Beatty’s “Deliverance” squeals during the karaoke instrumental, which I believe takes the tune to a whole other, even lower, level.

Dave’s Gone By #1019 (2/7/2026): ZECH’S APPEAL

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Here is episode #1019 of the long-running radio show/video podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook, Saturday morning, Feb. 7, 2026.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews singer Deborah Zecher and sings “Hey Jews”; Greeley Times; Bunion Watch; Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Clarke Farms); Dave’s Big Dictionary (imbue); StoryTime (“Funny Faces”); Dave Says Bye (Harry Haun).

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce: winter
00:17:00 BUNION WATCH
00:19:30 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN: new toys, bad drawing, Super Bowl
00:58:30 GREELEY TIMES
01:28:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Rabbi Deborah Zecher
02:15:30 STORYTIME: “Funny Faces”
02:27:00 DAVE’S BIG DICTIONARY: imbue
02:37:30 DAVE SAYS BYE: Harry Haun
02:59:00 Friends of the Daverhood
03:07:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED: Clarke Farms, CO
03:10:00 DAVE GOES OUT: Toelio

Feb. 7, 2026 Playlist: “Hey Jews” (02:50:30; Rabbi Sol Solomon)

Dave’s Gone By Song: HEY JEWS

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Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a new Beatles parody, “Hey Jews.”

This segment airs Feb. 7, 2026 on the “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: shalomdammit.com.

HEY JEWS

(Sung to the melody of The Beatles’s “Hey Jude” by John Lennon & Paul McCartney)

Hey Jews
I know it’s bad
These are sad times but they’ll get better
Remember although it’s hard to be sure
We will endure
If we stick together

Hey Jews
Don’t be afraid
They may hate us, but we can get them
The minute you let them under your skin
They start to win
So just don’t let them.

So any time you’re losing hope
Hey Jews, don’t mope
Don’t go through the world like woeful sad sacks
`Cause we all know the world’s a mess
But if you stress
And carry that weight, you’ll just get bad backs

Oy oy oy oy oy, oy oy oy oy

Hey Jews
They’ll shout you down
Stupid students so loud and phony
They’re screaming and holding up silly signs
Just let them whine
In their sanctimony

So any time you feel despair
Just say a prayer
A bracha will keep you on the right track
Well don’t you know your enemies
May swarm like fleas
But please rest assured, we always fight back

Oy oy oy oy oy, yasher koach

Hey Jews,
We’ll be okay
Keep your heads down in your Siddurim
Remember to always wear your kippot
From Shavuot to Shushan Purim
Purim Purim Purim Purim Purim oyyyyyyyy!!

Nah nah nah, Wear your kippah
Rosh Hashanah, Hey Jews
Hey Jews: you can’t lose

Nah nah nah, Read your Mishnah
Read the Torah, Hey Jews
Susan Sarandon will soon be abandoned

Nah nah nah, Cut the challah,
Light havdalah, Hey Jews
Greta’s flotilla will tumble and spill`er

Nah nah nah, Dance the hora,
Mourn the Shoah, Hey Jews
Cynthia Nixon: her brain could use fixin’

Nah nah nah, sittin’ shiva
In the Sukkah, Hey Jews
Here is what we know: screw Brian Eno

Nah nah nah, join kehilla
Do amidah, Hey Jews
Javier Bardem: oh, just disregard `im

Nah nah nah, Learn the parsha
Whole Megillah, Hey Jews
Hide your daughters from Roger Waters

Nah nah nah, Learn halacha
Learn Kabbalah, Hey Jews
Hey John Cusack a brain is what you lack

Nah nah nah, do a mitzvah
with Kavanah, Hey Jews
Mandy Patinkin: I’m thinkin’ you’re stinkin’

Nah nah nah, Hallelujah
Give tzedakah, Hey Jews
Dave Chappelle can go to hell

Nah nah nah, eatin’ halvah
In the mikvah, Hey Jews
We love Debra Messing; that girl is a blessing!

Nah nah nah, lit menorah
On the bimah, Hey Jews
Tovah Feldshuh is really a swell Jew!

Nah nah nah, say a bracha
Eatin’ matzah, Hey Jews
Michael Rappaport…I can’t rhyme that but you’re great!

Shalom, dammit.

Dave’s Gone By Song: IT WON’T GET LONG

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Dave sings a new Beatles parody, “It Won’t Get Long.”

This segment airs Jan. 24, 2026 on the “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

LYRICS:

IT WON’T GET LONG

(sung to the melody of The Beatles’s “It Won’t Be Long” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney)

It won’t get long (No no no no no no)
It won’t get long (No no no no no no)
It won’t get long
Oh, what am I to do?

Every night I try to get in the zone
She is tight, but there’s no starch in my bone

It won’t get long (No no no no no no)
It won’t get long (No no no no no no)
It won’t get long
My schlong won’t do the do

I eat healthy
I take solid poops
But my peepee
My dingy just droops
Life’s no good
`cause I can’t get wood
My little worm
Just won’t get firm

In the bed I try to act like a pimp
But instead my pocket rocket goes limp

It won’t get long (No no no no no no)
It won’t get long (No no no no no no)
It won’t get long
My dong won’t do the do

In my twenties I was adored
I had long hair and my prick was a sword
Now I’m fat
And my dick falls flat
Not even porn
Can rouse my dead horn

Every night I try to get my wife hot
She is tight, but I fall out of her slot

It won’t get long (No no no no no no)
It won’t get long (No no no no no no)
It won’t get long
My balls are turning blue.

Dave’s Gone By Interview (9/20/2025): DAVID SPERO

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Dave Lefkowitz chats with band manager DAVID SPERO

Topics include: Bad Company, Ringo Starr

Segment aired Sept. 20, 2025 as part of the special 1000th episode of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

Dave’s Gone By #752 (6/27/2020): CANCEL THIS!

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Here is the 752nd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Saturday, June 27, 2020. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: Dave’s wife Joyce

Featuring: Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Prowers), Wretched Pun of Destiny (tornado), Dave’s Gone Canceling (Joni Mitchell), Inside Broadway, Today/Yesterday (June 27).

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (cancel culture, racist cops, Covid continues, thermometer, new toothbrush!)
01:25:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:50:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:17:00 TODAY/YESTERDAY (June 27)
02:53:00 DAVE’S GONE CANCELING (Joni Mitchell)
03:03:00 Friends of the Daverhood
03:09:30 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #74 (tornado)
03:13:00 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED (Prowers)
03:16:00 DAVE GOES OUT

June 27, 2020 Playlist: “You’ve Been Canceled” (03:00:00; Dan Bull).

Dave’s Gone By Interview (7/14/2018): SUSAN SHUMSKY & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with spiritual advisor & author Susan Shumsky

Topics include: The Beatles, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, TM, meditation.

Segment aired July 14, 2018 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

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Dave’s Gone By #610 (6/17/2017): THE PRODUCER

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Here is the 610th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, June 17, 2017. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guests: film producer Jonathan Sanger (“The Elephant Man”). Plus: Dave’s wife Joyce

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with film producer Jonathan Sanger. Plus: Inside Broadway (post-Tony wrapup), Saturday Segues (Paul & Brian, In the News), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (Saved by the Flood), Greeley Crimes & Old Times

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (Joyce’s birthday, The Tonys, Cosby, traffic tickets, TV choices)
00:42:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:04:00 Sponsors
01:05:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN (Michael Phelps, Captain Underpants)
01:12:00 SATURDAY SEGUE (Paul n’ Brian)
01:30:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:27:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Jonathan Sanger
03:10:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (Saved by the Flood)
03:31:00 Friends
03:39:30 SATURDAY SEGUE (In the News)
04:12:30 Weather
04:14:30 DAVE GOES OUT

June 17, 2017 playlist: “Too Much Rain” (01:15:00; Paul McCartney). “Oxygen to the Brain” (01:18:00; Brian Wilson). “Mother Nature’s Son” (01:22:00; The Beatles). “God Only Knows” (01:24:30; The Beach Boys). “1984” (02:23:30; David Bowie). “Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I’ll Go Mine)” {live Flood version} (03:14:00), “Saving Grace” (03:19:30) & “It ain’t Me, Babe” {live Flood version} (03:25:00; Bob Dylan). “Batman and his Grandmother” (03:40:30; Dickie Goodman). “Bigger than Baseball” (03:43:00; Meet John Doe 2013 studio cast). “Fire” (03:46:30; Red Hot Chili Peppers). “Comatised” (03:48:30; Leona Naess). “Living Through another Cuba” (03:52:00; XTC). “Father’s Day” (04:19:00; Chris Smither).

(pictured: Jonathan Sanger, The Elephant Man poster, Paul McCartney, Brian Wilson, Kevin Spacey hosting the Tonys)