Hanukkah – Page 2 – Dave's Gone By

Dave’s Gone By #403 (12/8/2012): A GOODMAN IS HARD TO FIND

click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

click above for episode #403 (audio only)

Here is the 403rd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Dec. 8, 2012. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave chats with Jon Goodman, son of novelty-record pioneer Dickie Goodman. Plus: Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (Dave Brubeck & Chanukah), the News Gone By, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (finals), and Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection on Chanukah.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: biographer Jon Goodman

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:08:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Dave Brubeck
00:37:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:01:00 Sponsors
01:09:00 GUEST: Jon Goodman
01:58:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (finals)
02:30:00 NEWS GONE BY
02:41:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #48 – Chanukah
02:53:30 Thanks & Friends
02:56:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Dec. 8, 2012 Playlist: “Theme from Elementals” (00:11:30), “Unsquare Dance” (00:14:30), “One Song” (00:16:30), “Blue Rondo a la Turk” (00:21:30), “Take Five” (00:28:00), “Thank You” (02:56:30; Dave Brubeck). “Sennett Song” (Chaplin 2012 Broadway cast). “On Campus” (01:06:30), “The Flying Saucer, Part 1” (01:21:00), “Mr. Jaws” (01:30:30), “Star Wars” (01:50:30) & “The Flying Saucer, Part 2” (01:54:00; Dickie Goodman). “Baby, I’m in the Mood for You” (01:59:00 ), “The Ballad of Donald White” (02:02:00), “Foot of Pride” (02:06:30), “Idiot Wind” ({live Hard Rain version}, 02:12:30) & “Final Theme” (02:22:30; Bob Dylan). “Cows with Guns” (02:36:30; Dana Lyons). “Maoz Tsuris” (02:46:00; Rabbi Sol Solomon). “Temple” (Jane Siberry). “The Dreidel Song” (02:50:00; The Groovebarbers). “Light a Candle” (02:51:30; Neil Young).

Dave’s Gone By Song (12/28/2008): MY CHANUKAH WISH

click above to listen

A Jewish man prays for a present.

This segment aired Dec. 28, 2008 on the “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

MY CHANUKAH WISH

(music and lyrics by David Lefkowitz)

Everyone loves the holiday season

Each for his own particular reason

Some like the spirit, the warmth and the mood

Some like the rituals: football and food

Some crave the family, others the lights

Opening presents for eight days and nights

All of these blessings are nice to recall

But they’re not the one gift I want most of all…

Spending the holidays lonely and blue

No one to see, and not much to do

Ain’t got no girlfriend, ain’t got no misses

No one to hug me and thrill me with kisses

This time of year can be hard on your heart

I bury myself in my work and my art

But still I keep wishing the Lord hears my prayers

proving to me that he listens and cares

So please God, I’ve been a good boy

Won’tcha bring me some comfort and joy?

Please God, my life is so blah

I wanna get laid on Chanukah.

I see all these couples go hand in hand

But I’m all alone and I don’t understand

I ain’t bad lookin’, and I treat people well

But women don’t buy what I tryin’ to sell

I go on Craigslist; I surf around J-Date

But no little Jewess will come be my playmate

It’s not like I’m looking for something long-term

I just need a vessel to unload my sperm.

Hey God, this is my plea

Won’tcha just do this thing for me?

Please God, come to my aid

I wanna get laid on Chanukah

Back in the days of Two Hundred BC

Judah and the family Maccabee

They rid the temple of every last Greek

One drop of oil for the whole friggin’ week

Those are the miracles God tends to do

So why can’t he make one for this horny Jew?

I don’t have a temple, and I’m not in a war

I just wanna meet a Hebraic whore

Well, Hey, God, I don’t ask much

I just want a gal I can fondle and touch

Let me undo a lacy red bra

I wanna get laid on Chanukah!

Now, I admit, I ain’t the marrying kind

Commitment like that drives me out of my mind

But this time of year is it too much to hope

For a gal in a red suit to slide down my rope?

Hey, God, enough of your crap

Give me a gift I can bounce on my lap

Only one girl; don’t need a parade

I wanna get laid on Chanukah!

Maybe I’ll stop by the local saloon

Find some girl with whom I can commune

Fill her head with what she wants to hear

And buy her beer after beer after beer after beer after beer after beer after beer after beer after beer after beer after beer after beer I would usher her out of the bar

And carry that sweet thing out to my car

Now maybe that makes me sound like a creep

But it’s not rape if she’s fast asleep

C’mon, please god, send me a slut

A frummy brunette to bust my nut

Please let me manage a ménage à trois

I wanna get laid on Chanukah

I’d gladly trade all my Chanukah gelt

For a shayna maidel who makes me melt

And if she’s tender and does deep throat

I’d call her again for Shavuoth

Hey God,

It isn’t a sin

I just need girl to make my dreidel spin

I’ll pray to Jesus, Mohammed, and Jah

If I could get laid on Chanukah

Ma’oz tzur yeshua’ti

I want a girl to go down on me

Please God,

You know what I need

I’m tired of whackin’ to Donna Reed

I’ll light the candles

On the menorah

If I could get laid on Chanukah

If I could get laid on Chanukahh-men.

Chords: G, Am, C, D, A,

*********************

NOTES & BACKSTORY:

On my weekly radio program, Dave’s Gone By, I’ve often made an effort to anti-celebrate the Christmas season with songs, by me and others, that kick the air out of Santa’s tires and suck the last drop of oil out of the great temple’s Menorah. I bet if Adam Sandler had done this on SNL, he’d have had a minor hit to follow his you-know-what song.

The tune debuted on my 300th episode, which aired Dec. 28, 2008, and I brought it back for my celebratory 600th episode in April 2017.

Dave’s Gone By #249 (12/02/2007): OUTSIDE THE STRIKE ZONE

click above for episode #249 (audio only)

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 249th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM radio, Dec. 2, 2007. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz

Featuring: Dave discusses his trip to San Francisco. Plus: Inside Broadway, the satirical News Gone By, and Chanukah songs from Rabbi Sol Solomon.

0:00:01 Pre-show excerpt: “Teddy Bear”
00:13:00 DAVE GOES IN
00:21:00 DAVE’S GONE TO SAN FRANCISCO
00:37:00 NEWS GONE BY
00:54:00 INSIDE BROADWAY – News, Pygmalion & Die
01:00:00 SKIT: Dreidelcam (w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon)
01:10:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Dec. 2, 2007 Playlist: “Anal Dreidel” & “Maoz Tsuris” (Rabbi Sol Solomon).

Jefferson Mays & Clare Danes in Pygmalion

Dave’s Gone By #154 (12/22/2005): XMESS

click above for episode #154 (audio only)

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 154th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM Dec. 22, 2005. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz
guest: musical archivist Ron Clancy and Rabbi Sol Solomon (spiritual leader of Temple Sons of Bitches, Great Neck, NY)

Featuring: Dave celebrates Christmas and Chanukah with novelty songs and holiday music expert, Ron Clancy

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:15:00 Guest: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Ron Clancy
00:51:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Dec. 22, 2005 Playlist: “My Doggy’s Christmas Gift” (00:10:00), “We Killed Santa Claus” (00:14:00), “The Twelve Complaints of Christmas” (00:35:00), “Santasia” (00:41:00), “Anal Dreidel” (00:49:00) & “The Twelve Perversions of Christmas” (00:51:00; Dave), “(I’m Having a) Gay Christmas” (00:46:00; Peter Fitzgerald), “Blue Christmas” (Tammy Wynette).

Dave’s Gone By #105 (12/9/2004): CIGGY STARBURST

click above for episode #105 (audio only)

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 105th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM, Dec. 9, 2004. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz
guest: Rabbi Sol Solomon, spiritual leader of Temple Sons of Bitches, Great Neck, NY

Featuring: Dave celebrates Chanukah with Rabbi Sol Solomon and goes off on smoking on stage. Plus: La Cage returns Inside Broadway.

0:00:01 DAVE GOES IN – Daylight
00:20:00 INSIDE BROADWAY – La Cage
00:31:00 DAVE GOES OFF – Smoking
00:38:00 SKIT: Rabbi Sol Solomon on Chanukah
00:50:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Dec. 9, 2004 Playlist: “Daylight” (Kinks); “Song on the Sand” (La Cage aux Folles, original cast); “Is it Good for the Jews?” (Rabbi Sol Solomon); “Anal Dreidel” (Dave, unreleased).