Tag: Judaism

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #190 (12/31/2024): 2024 Farewell

airs Dec. 31, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip:  https://youtu.be/ejDoOPzON1I

This Rabbinical Reflection first aired Dec. 31, 2024 on the New Year’s Eve special edition of the Dave’s Gone By video podcast. 

Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflections are heard on the long-running Dave’s Gone By radio/video podcast program (davesgoneby.com) and then archived as text and audio on the Rebbe’s blog, Shalomdammit.com, where a transcript of this Reflection may be read. 

Rabbi Sol is also the creator of the stage show, “Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon,” which played in NYC in Nov. 2011 and Aug. 2012.

© 2024 TotalTheater Productions. All Rights Reserved.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com 

 More on Rabbi Sol: shalomdammit.com

TRANSCRIPT:
Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #190 (12/31/2024): 2024 FAREWELL

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the end of the year, 2024. 

You’d think from the punims of everybody walking around or jabbering on TV that this was the worst year ever. That 1861 and 1929 and 1939 and 2020 were nothing compared to the hellscape that was 2-oh-2-4. But really, unless you were personally touched (God forbid) by some horrible tragedy, or you’re the CEO of a health conglomerate and your bodyguard just quit, this past year was… just another year. 

The rich got richer, and we all kvetched about inflation, but unemployment was low, Wall Street robust, the economy booming. Complain about illegal immigrants all you want, but are you gonna pick fruit? And, whatever you think of Luigi, American healthcare remains astronomical, inhuman, and indefensible. But if you made it through the year without dropping dead—the system worked.

If you think I’m joking, remember that just four years ago a million people died of COVID. Now we’re all sighing, “just how many boosters do I need?” Especially since the CEO of Pfizer made 33 million dollars in 2022 but ten million less the year after. If his salary goes below 20 mil, look for the polio booster to acquire a sudden urgency.

But again, it’s nice that COVID was no longer a nightmare, just a lingering annoyance. Like Ukraine. We want Zelenskyy to outlast Putin, but at this point, it’s not even Russians versus Russians; it’s Grumman versus Lockheed Martin for which mass murderer gets the bigger Christmas bonus.

Before you despair, however, note that 2024 was also the year that Jew-haters on university campuses slithered out of their green tents to discover nobody was listening anymore. Those left-wing peaceniks, many of them Jewish, spent months defaming Israel for just trying to survive. Meanwhile, these delusional dimbulbs ignored every African, Arab, Latin, Asian country that wouldn’t know a human right from a traffic light. 

Protestors made some noise early on: breaking into buildings, stalling traffic, spraying graffiti. Celebrities wore their “Free Gaza” pins while the “Squad” wept for terrorists. But as Bibi Netanyahu cautioned the world on October 7th the year before: Israel will keep fighting until complete victory. That means getting all the hostages back and racking up more Hamas leaders on kebab sticks. 

Happily, most Americans get this.They remember 9/11 and decades of hijackings, bombings, and beheadings perpetrated by the radical Muslim world. Some Americans even realize that thanks to Israel kicking butt, Syria ditched its dictator and the Iranian Ayatollah is watching his assahola. But try explaining that to a 19-year-old Communications major whose knowledge of history begins with Avatar and ends with The Matrix.

And yet, despite all the static, voters reelected the president. The previous president: Donald Trump. Vilified by the Democrats, mystifying to everyone else, the Donald will somehow return as the 47th leader of the free world. And why not? He was shot in the head, and his brain was still in better shape than Joe Biden’s! 

Look, Biden’s been a decent president; it’s his party that was the pooper. No one cares about DEI when the national debt is an IOU. Liberals weep over Palestinian refugees and then shrug when illegal aliens set fire to women on the F train. And while trans people deserve the same rights as everyone else, they don’t deserve double the rights, just because they’ve got two sexes inside `em. So enough with the special bathrooms; build affordable housing, and then let the trannies decide which room they wanna take a dump in.

But again, let’s not dump on 2024, a year that gave us a cool solar eclipse, an adorable pygmy hippo, respect for women’s basketball (mostly played by real women), and artificial intelligence answering every question we could possibly ask, up to and including, “Does this look infected?” The real downside of the year, as with every year, is losing great people. Actors, musicians, writers—their work lives forever. They don’t. So here’s a poetic tribute to the passings of paragons: 

We lost Kris Kristofferson, and all his fine rhymes
Farewell to John Amos, yes, for the Good Times

We’ll miss Quincy Jones and his tuneful panache
So long, Donald Sutherland, whose M*A*S*H was a smash

There’s Dame Maggie Smith, for whom we are pining
and Shelley Duvall, up in heaven, now shining

The laughs have left Fernwood; so long, Martin Mull
At least O.J. Simpson is now just a skull

Bon soir Richard Simmons! To the oldies he’s sweatin’
Pete Rose was called home; bet he’s up there now, bettin’

Ta-ta Teri Garr, you were Fronkensteen’s girl
and we lost two Joneses: Quincy and James Earl

Steve Lawrence has now joined Edyie Gorme
Alas, Willie Mays will no longer say “hey”

No more shall Richard Lewis comedically fret
And adieu, Olivia Hussey, jolie Juliet

Both West Side and East Side miss Chita Rivera<
And Bob Newhart’s gone: the end of an era

Charles Osgood filled us with homespun truth
And we learned about nookie from old Dr. Ruth

So sad that Phil Donahue has asked his last question
We mourn Morgan Spurlock’s supersized indigestion

We pine for Paul Auster and all his fine fictions
Is Kreskin in heaven, telling God his predictions?

Peter Marshall, Chuck Woolery — those affable hosts
have joined Roger Corman; all three are now ghosts

And so, adios, to our friends who are gone
The rest of us: what can we do but go on?

But try to find joy in being alive
Shalom `24! Shalom `25!

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Happy Jew Year.

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.