Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #120 (3/29/2015): Bibi’s Back

click above to listen (audio file)

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #121 (3/29/2015): Bibi’s Back

aired March 28, 2015 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/t7yMCkes6B8

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of March 29, 2015.

Much to many people’s surprise, Benjamin Netanyahu was elected for a third term as the Prime Minister of Israel. Everyone assumed Labor would win. Everybody thought Netanyahu’s hard-line, status-quo policies were on the way out, and peaceniks were on the way in. Well, pre-April fool! Or technically, Adar fool, since it’s the Jewish calendar we’re dealing with.

But let’s be clear: for all Israel’s weariness of war, and for all the country’s gratitude to the United States for support, for money, for defense, for money, for money, for money . . . Israeli voters nevertheless sent a strong message and a mandate. The safety and security of Eretz Yisroel comes before everything else. It comes before friendship, before negotiations, before swallowing the latest Palestinian PR. They said to Netanyahu: “Give us strong borders and a promise that you won’t sell our country down the river—Jordan or Nile—and we’ll vote for you again.” He did, and they did.

Therefore, much to the chagrin of President Barak Oblivia, Bibi is back. And the shocking part is: he did it, not by kowtowing to the left, not by lying about the potential for peace with our sworn enemies, but by facing facts. The Arabs hate us, they won’t even recognize Israel on their maps or GPS systems, and any chance they get, they’d gladly send the Jews on a blind date with Robert Durst.

In his campaigning, Bibi went so far as to say that on his watch, there would never be a Palestinian state, which is harsh to hear even for a die-hard Zionist like yours truly. I’ve always said, I have no objection to a Palestinian state . . . in Algeria, in Curacao, maybe somewhere north of Omsk. The two-state solution, however, just seems like a disaster on the drawing board: unsafe, untenable, and you know it would just turn Jerusalem into a ping-pong ball. Filled with explosives.

Still, you’re not allowed to say that. If you’re a diplomat or a head of state, you’re supposed to make believe there’s always room for negotiation, that the Arabs really will lay down their arms and be all neighborly-like. Because, hey, they’ve been such good citizens in Yemen, Tunisia, Iraq, Syria, Libya – fill in the name of a country; the Muslims have probably terrorized it.

Our President won’t admit that, of course. It’s like he’s living in the movie “Candyman.” If you say the name “Moslem” five times to a camera lens, the bad guys’ evil will be unleashed. But here’s news, Mr. Pres, the bad genies are already out of the bottle, and if there’s one country on earth that knows not to trust the Bedouins, it’s their Semitic brethren.

Now, for the sake of diplomacy, Benjy Netanyahu has already gone back on his pre-election speechifying. He says he didn’t really mean there was no solution, that he’s always willing to schmooze with Abbas, and we should take his posturing with a grain of hummus. He’s a politician. He says what he has to to get what he wants. Once he’s got it, then he can be more truthful. Not completely truthful, but a percentage.

Meanwhile, the President, who has been going through an otherwise impressive stretch of lame-duck vigor, is pitching a hissy fit over Bibi’s bonanza. Obama wants to be the next Jimmy Carter, brokering the all-but-impossible peace deal that will cement his legacy for the ages. But lemme tell you, Barack, if you’re listening, which I know you are: with Israel and Egypt, Jimmy Carter did an amazing, impossible, fantastic thing. No one can take that away from him. But if you ask anybody about the legacy of James Earl Carter, 39th President, the response will be: hostages, oil shortage, inflation, Cold War, losing the Panama Canal, and a general American bad mood. In other word, that peanut-brained peanut farmer had as much business ruling the free world as Bill Cosby would have running a rape crisis center. So if Obama thinks he’s got anything to gain by twisting Israel’s arm into a phony truce with terrorists, he’s in for a rude awakening.

And yes, it was rude of Netanyahu to visit America and gab with Republicans when the White House all but begged him not to. But I repeat: maybe, just maybe, Bibi knows whereof he speaks when he cautions that trusting Iran to scrap its nuclear program is like trusting Bill Cosby to run a rape crisis center. I know, I already used that joke, but I’m hungry, and I want to finish this stupid essay and get to my brisket.

Folks in Washington are saying that relations between Israel and the United States are nearly at an all-time low. But I think—or at least, I hope—that’s overstating the case. Deep down, both American parties are very committed to Israel and realize how strategically important it is to the West, as well as its moral right to exist in a post-Holocaustal world. If Obama wants to rattle his saber—and you know, those people are blessed with long sabers—it could be the same kind of bluff and bluster Netanyahu was using to win his election. What actually goes on behind the scenes . . . that’s for statesmen to know and Aaron Sorkin to fabricate.

So I hope this is all just smoke and mishegoss, and that the Democrats—especially their presumptive 2016 candidat-ess—remember that what’s good for Auntie Israel is what’s most prudent for Uncle Sam. Or, put another way, don’t throw the Bibi out with the bathwater.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c) 2015 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

–> https://wp.me/pzvIo-20j

Dave’s Gone By Interview (3/28/2015): MATTHEW DAVIS

Click above to listen (audio only)

Dave’s Gone By Interview (3/28/15): MATTHEW DAVIS

Dave Lefkowitz and his wife Joyce chat with UNC Radio programming director Matthew Davis 

Topics include: Greeley, Garden City, archiving

Segment aired March 28, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio show/podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations.  For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

More about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #030: HORSE SHOW

Click above to listen.

 

The 30th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired March 28, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
*

30.
Organizers of the National Horse Show are very excited because for this year’s event, They plan to rename all their horses after late-night talk-show hosts. Then they draw lots to see which horse gets which name.

On the day of the race, all the thoroughbreds line up at the starting gate. First out is a middle-aged millionaire on a beautiful stallion. “I have David Letterman!” the rich man shouts as the horse takes off down the field.

Next out the gate is an attractive lady on an Arabian steed. “I have Jimmy Kimmel!” she says and rides off to do show jumping.

Next comes a dashing young owner on a draft horse. “I have Conan O’Brien!” he calls, cantering away. And then come Handler and Colbert and Daly until finally, a 97-year-old woman is at the last gate, sitting on an ancient nag. “He’s Jimmy Fallon,” she rasps, gently striking the horse with her whip. But the animal won’t move. “Come on,” shouts the woman, digging her heels into the horse’s sides, but again, the horse remains still.

The woman tries leaning forward, but she slips and sprawls across the horse’s back. Medics rush over and say, “Are you okay?”

She replies, “I’ve Fallon. And I Can’t Giddyup.”

Dave’s Gone By #503 (3/28/2015): FRONTAL LOEB

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 503rd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, March 28, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with singer-songwriter Lisa Loeb. Plus: Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflection on Benjamin Netanyahu, Inside Broadway, Greeley Crimes & Old Times, The Wretched Pun of Destiny (Horse Show), Dylan – Sooner & Later (Live `64), Saturday Segues (Chapman/Jones, In the News).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: musician Lisa Loeb, UNC Radio programming director Matthew Davis, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Matthew Davis & Joyce (archiving, Sage the Gemini, Marathon `33, Mr. Pickles, Garden City)
00:30:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:17:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN (chickens, chi-town)
01:23:30 Sponsors
01:29:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Tracy Chapman & Norah Jones
01:55:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:28:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Lisa Loeb
03:17:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #30 (Horse Show)
03:20:00 BOB DYLAN – Soon & Later (Live 1964)
03:36:00 Friends
03:49:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #120 (Bibi’s Back)
03:58:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
04:19:00 Weather & Thanks
04:23:30 DAVE GOES OUT

March 28, 2015 Playlist: “Happy Pills” (01:33:00; Norah Jones). “Down in the Willow Garden” (01:41:30; Norah Jones & Billie Joe Armstrong). “Paper and Ink” (01:37:00) & “3,000 Miles” (01:46:00; Tracy Chapman). “Finale” (02:22:00; Cabaret 1998 Broadway cast). “Garden of Delights” (02:26:00), “A Hot Minute” (02:35:00), “The 90’s” (02:44:30), “Stay” (02:50:30), “Truthfully” (02:59:00), “The Cookie Jar Song” (03:04:30), “Linger” (03:12:30) & “Going Away” (04:25:30; Lisa Loeb). “If You Gotta Go, Go Now” ({live} 03:23:00), “Spanish Harlem Incident” ({live} 03:27:00; Bob Dylan) “It Ain’t Me, Babe” ({live}; 03:30:00; Bob Dylan & Joan Baez). “From the Air” (03:58:30; Laurie Anderson). “Would Be Killer” (04:03:00; Gnarls Barkley). “Cruise Around the Planets” (04:05:30; Anonymous). “Ketchup” (04:06:30; Tom Paxton). “Not Guilty” (04:09:30; Destry Rides Again Bway cast). “Tomorrow Looks Good from Here” (04:11:00; One Man, Two Guv’nors Bway cast w/ James Corden).

Lisa Loeb
Benjamin Netanyahu
Tracy Chapman
Norah Jones
Dylan’s Live 1964
horse show

Dave’s Gone By Interview (3/28/2015): LISA LOEB & Rabbi Sol Solomon

Click above to listen to the interview (audio only).

Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews musician Lisa Loeb

Topics include: camp, Judaism, music, Ethan Hawke, Camp Kappawanna.

Segment aired March 28, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #029: HARRY POTTER

Click above to listen.

The 29th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired March 21, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

*

29.
On their first trip to America, Harry Potter and Professor Dumbledore pay a visit to The United Nations. Ban-Ki Moon gives them a personal tour, pointing out that every place in the building is named after a previous Secretary General.

“Here’s the Dag Hammarskjold Dining Room,” he tells them, “named after our second Secretary General. And over there is the Boutros Boutros-Gali Ballroom, named after our sixth. And these long corridors are named after U Thant, our third.”

“That’s nice,” says Dumbledore, “but before we forget, we have magical gifts for you as thanks for your hospitality. Show him Harry.”

Harry Potter smiles and points his wand at the dining room shouting, “Silvercadabra!”

There’s a puff of smoke, but nothing actually materializes. Perplexed, Harry tries again.

“Abracadiamond!” He waves his wand at the ballroom, more smoke, but again, no gift. “I don’t understand,” he says.

“Try once more,” says Dumbledore, unconcerned. “Hocus Pocus Porcelainus!” Harry shouts.

Again, lots of smoke, but no gift. He starts crying. “I’m so embarrassed,” he tells Moon.

To snap Harry out of it, Dumbledore waves his wand, and who should appear but Woody Allen’s wife, Soon-Yi, dressed in sexy lingerie and rubbing herself lasciviously against the young wizard.

Harry can’t help but smile and say, “Gosh, Professor, thanks. But I still don’t understand why my magic failed.”

“It didn’t,” Dumbledore chortles, pointing to the long corridors. Down one hallway, silver chalices as far as the eye can see. Down another, heaps and heaps of diamond jewelry. Down the third corridor, a treasure trove of fine porcelain china.

“Oh, thank goodness,” says Harry, pulling himself away from the girl. “But how? I pointed my wand at the Hammarskjold room, the Gali room, the Waldheim room, but every time, the stuff appeared only in the corridors. What happened?”

“Simple,” says Dumbledore. “U Thant Hallways Get What You Wand. But If You Cry Sometimes, You Get Hot Soon-Yi’d.”

Dave’s Gone By #502 (3/21/2015): SPEAKING FRANK-LY

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only)

Here is the 502nd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, March 21, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with author Paulette Frankl (“Marcel and Me”). Plus: Inside Broadway, Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Saturday Segues (Ray Dorset, Benny Bell), Dave’s Gone Cultural (Judy Collins), Dylan – Sooner & Later (All Back Home), Wretched Pun of Destiny (Harry Potter).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guests: author Paulette Frankl, UNC Radio programming director Matthew Davis, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Matthew Davis & Joyce (new board!),
00:19:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
00:54:30 Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Paulette Frankl
01:48:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Ray Dorset
02:05:30 Sponsors
02:12:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:36:00 DAVE’S GONE CULTURAL – Judy Collins
02:54:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (All Back Home)
03:12:00 More Sponsors
03:18:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #29 (Harry Potter)
03:24:00 Friends
03:34:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Benny Bell
03:49:00 DAVE GOES OUT

March 21, 2015 Playlist: “In the Summertime” (01:49:30), “It’s a Secret” (01:53:30), “Wild Love” (01:56:00) & “Mighty Man” (01:59:00; Mungo Jerry). “Two By Two” (02:32:00; The Book of Mormon 2011 Broadway cast). “Pretty Women” (02:50:30; Judy Collins). “Who Do You Love” (02:59:00; John Hammond, Jr.). “Outlaw Blues” (03:02:00) & “The Gates of Eden” (03:05:00; Bob Dylan). “Girl from Chicago” (03:36:30), “When We were Two Little Boys” (03:39:00), “Moishe Pipick” (03:41:30) & “Yum Yum Yum” (03:44:00; Benny Bell). “Springtime in the Rockies” (03:54:00; Slim Whitman).

Matthew Davis
Ray Dorset
Benny Bell
Judy Collins
Dylan’s Bringing it All Back Home

Dave’s Gone By Interview (3/21/2015): PAULETTE FRANKL & Rabbi Sol Solomon

click above to listen (audio only).

Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews author, mime and artist Paulette Frankl

Topics include: Marcel Marceau, mime, Tony Serra, courtroom sketches.

Segment aired March 21, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (3/21/2015): MATTHEW DAVIS

click above to listen (audio only).

Dave’s Gone By Interview (3/21/15): MATTHEW DAVIS

Dave Lefkowitz and his wife Joyce chat with UNC Radio programming director Matthew Davis 

Topics include: Greeley

Segment aired March 28, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio show/podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations.  For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

More about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com.

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #028: LUCY

Click above to listen.

The 28th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired March 14, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast. All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

*
28.
Shortly after the end of “I Love Lucy,” Lucille Ball chose to appear in a Broadway musical.

Late in rehearsals, however, she found she was suffering from terrible stage fright and was worried she couldn’t go through with the show. So she visits her doctor and begs for a tranquilizer.

“I’ve got something even better,” the doctor says. “Take two of these every morning, and you’ll be all set. There may be some side effects, but nothing harmful.”

So Lucy thanks him and the next morning, she starts taking the pills. She feels fine, and rehearsal goes great, so she follows the doctor’s regimen. Everything’s perfect until one morning, she takes the pills and finds herself talking in Spanish. It wears off quickly, and rehearsal isn’t affected, but she feels worried.

The next morning, Lucy takes her pills, and during rehearsal, she can barely tear herself away from the orchestra pit, where all she wants to do is play the conga drums. The morning after that, she takes the pills, and the whole day, all she can think about is flying to Cuba.

Finally, the next morning, Lucy hurries back to her physician. “Doc,” she says, “you gotta change these crazy pills!”

“What’s wrong?” he says. “Didn’t they cure your stage fright?”

“Yes,” Lucy says, “but they made me talk Spanish, play conga drums, and obsess about Cuba. You’d think I was my ex-husband!”

“That’s understandable,” says the doctor. “It says right here in the bottle: `May Cause Desiness.’”


Notice: ob_end_flush(): Failed to delete and flush buffer. No buffer to delete or flush in /home2/radiobig/public_html/davesgoneby/wp-content/themes/twentysixteen/functions.php(9) : eval()'d code on line 473