Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #047 (11/25/2012): Gaza Gaza Hey

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #47 (11/25/2012): Gaza Gaza Hey

Aired November 24, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSL0TEmRah4&feature=youtu.be

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of November 25th, 2012.

And so we find ourselves once again on the brink of war with our Arab brothers.  We warn them: stop firing rockets in Gaza; they fire rockets in Gaza, and Jerusalem, and Tel Aviv.  We tell them, recognize the state of Israel so we can have a starting point for peace talks; they want to obliterate Israel, instead. We say, Hamas and the Palestinian Authority have to be on the same page so we know whom to negotiate with; Mahmoud Abbas is a figurehead and Hamas fires weapons. It’s the same drek that’s been going on for sixty five years, and the tragedy is that it will go on long after our great-great-grandchildren are sipping prune juice in what’s left of Miami.

And, of course, Israel gets blamed.  We’re the aggressors, we’re the ones occupying the territories, we’re the ones who own the pro-Jewish media, we’re the ones who keep making sitcom knock-offs of “Two and a Half Men.” A million and twelve times I’ve given my speech about how Israel belongs to Israel, how the Palestinians should go live anywhere else in the Arab world, and how no matter what Israel does – even if Israel were, God forbid, wiped off the map – that would not stop the Arabs from killing and terror and dragging the world back to the fifth century.  If anything, it would only embolden them: “Ooh, we destroyed a democracy filled with people who have different social values.  Gee, what other country can we do that to?”

Left-wing pundits are saying that Israel should not refuse to negotiate with terrorists.  You have to negotiate with Arab terrorists or else there’s no one to talk to.  Fine, let Israel negotiate with Hamas, just like we did with Yasser Arafat – because that was so productive, right?  If Hamas, or Al-Qaida, or the Taliban, or the PLO, or the AFLCIO want to lay down their weapons and negotiate a true ceasefire – great, get a room at the U.N., we’ll bring the chips and dip.  But sixty-five years of overtures to the Arab world have given us only one peace deal, with Egypt, and God knows where that’s headed after the revolution over there.

I’ll say it one more time: if Arabs want to live in Israel, fine. Let them live IN Israel, peacefully, as Israelis, in a Jewish state carved out of a tiny nugget of the middle east as recompense for the Holocaust. If the Arabs don’t want to live IN Israel, they can move to Jordan, or Syria, or Lebanon, or Iran, or Iraq, or Mexico, or Sudan – actually, I just threw Mexico in there to see if you were paying attention. And if the Arabs want to live near Israel, they have to stop sending us exploding Christmas gifts with “Made in Iran” on them.

Yes, Israel gets gazillions of dollars of weapons from the United States – so Israel can keep the Middle East stable instead of having to send American teenagers to do it.  And yes, living conditions are grueling in the occupied territories – so don’t live there!  Israel won those territories in two wars, they own it – get over it, get off it.

Israel is not going away.  It’s our teentsy-weentsy little homeland, and the Arab world – which really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the Palestinians or else the Palestinians would all be living there – the Arab world hates the West, hates the Jews, and has no interest in any kind of peace that does not involve total and complete annihilation of its enemies.  Well, maybe not complete annihilation. They’d probably want to leave a few hundred behind just to torture.

At this time of Thanksgiving, let us pray for a cease fire, for cool heads and hopeful headlines, for lasting peace, and for a 48-inch HD TV with surround sound. Hey, at least I have a shot at that last one.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c) 2012 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29318

Dave’s Gone By Interview (11/24/2012): RICK LENZ & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with actor and author Rick Lenz.

Topics include: Rick Lenz’s Hollywood career, in-laws, marriages, substance issues and creative rebound.

Segment originally aired Nov. 24, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2012 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #401 (11/24/2012): CONTACT LENZ

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Here is the 401st episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Nov. 24, 2012. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with actor Rick Lenz (“Cactus Flower,” “Green Acres”), News Gone By, Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (turkey, Down Came the Sun), Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection (Gaza Gaza Hey!), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (Israel).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: actor Rick Lenz, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:09:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Turkey
00:27:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Movies
00:35:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Rick Lenz
01:30:00 Sponsors
01:35:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:44:00 SATURDAY SEGUE: Down Came the Sun
02:04:00 NEWS GONE BY
02:17:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #47: Gaza Gaza Hey!
02:24:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (Israel)
02:50:00 Weather & Friends – w/ Joyce
03:10:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Nov. 24, 2012 Playlist: “Cold Turkey” (00:09:30; Robyn Hitchcock & the Soft Boys). “Lonesome Electric Turkey” (00:13:30; Frank Zappa & the Mothers of Invention). “Turkey Lurkey Time” (00:16:00; Promises, Promises; 1968 Broadway cast). “The Thanksgiving Song” (00:19:00; Adam Sandler). “Ho! Ho! Ho! (Who’d Be a Turkey at Christmas?)” (00:22:30; Elton John). “Act Naturally” (00:27:30; Buck Owens). “Cracked Actor” ({live}; 00:29:30; David Bowie). “Western Movies” (00:33:00; The Olympics). “Hollywood Boulevard” (01:25:30), “Waterloo Sunset” (01:59:00) & “Death of a Clown” (02:10:30; The Kinks). “Sundown” 01:44:30; Gordon Lightfoot). “Hurry Sundown” (01:48:00; Peter, Paul & Mary). “Kahuna Sunset” (01:51:00; Buffalo Springfield). “Canadian Sunset” (01:53:30; Andy Williams). “California Sunset” (01:56:00; Neil Young). “Unbelievable” (02:25:00), “Angelina” (02:33:30) & “Blind Willie McTell” (02:40:30; Bob Dylan). “Neighborhood Bully” (02:29:00; Dan Israel & Blood on the Tracks). “Super Duperman” (03:02:30; Dickie Goodman). “Santa Quits” (03:05:30; Dave Lefkowitz).

Rick Lenz
Bob Dylan in Israel
Goldie Hawn
Rabbi Sol Solomon
Down Came the Sun

Dave’s Gone By Song (11/24/2012): SANTA QUITS

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Dave’s Gone By Song (11/24/2012): SANTA QUITS

An interview with a fed-up Santa Claus, Buchanan & Goodman style. 

This song first aired Nov. 24, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), Spotify, and on DavesGoneBy.com. 

All content (c)2012 TotalTheater Productions.   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

SANTA QUITS

(Lyrics: David Lefkowitz. Note: A mashup piece, in Buchanan & Goodman style, using short musical samples from other artists. Song titles are in parentheses with sampled quotes following.)

Y BHEKHIRST (Everytime I): Every time I think of you, la la la la la la la. . . 

ANNOUNCER: We interrupt this record to bring you a special bulletin.  Santa Claus is about to announce his retirement.  I repeat Santa Claus is giving up the giving of gifts.

WILD MAN FISCHER (I’m a Christmas Tree): Oh, Santa Claus!  Oh, Santa Claus!

ANNOUNCER: We switch you now to our on-the-spot reporter on the scene at the North Pole.  

LOU REED (Caroline Says II): It’s so cold…

ANNOUNCER: Take it away John Cameron Sleazy.

JOHN CAMERON SLEAZY: This is John Cameron Sleazy at the North Pole.  I’m talking to an elf.

RANDY NEWMAN (Short People): Short People…

JCS: Herman the Elf. How long have you worked in Santa’s Toyshop? 

ROBYN HITCHCOCK (Sixteen Years): Sixteen years, and all I got was high.

JCS: My goodness. That’s quite a long time.

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT (Poses): No kidding.

JCS: And when did you first hear the news that Santa Claus was hanging up his stocking?

WILD MAN FISCHER (Yesterday): Yesterday.

ANNOUNCER: It must have been a shock. How did you react?

SHERRY VINE (Shit My Pants): Girl, I just shit my pants.

JCS: Well, that’s understandable. Disgusting but understandable  What will you do now?

THE PRODUCERS (movie excerpt): Gonna crush Poland, then I’m gonna take over France.

JCS: Well, I certainly wish you luck with that. But we have to go over to Mrs. Claus. Santa’s wife has just emerged from a side entrance. Let’s try to catch her.

THE BEATLES (Kansas City/Hey Hey Hey Hey): Hey hey hey hey

JCS: Mrs. Claus! May we have a word?

THE WHO (Who are You): Who are you?

JCS: I’m John Cameron Sleazy from Eyewitless News. May we talk to you?

ROBERT KLEIN (Starting Your Car): Leave me alone!

JCS: We just wanna ask why your husband is quitting his job.

HANK WILLIAMS (Mind Your Own Business): Mind your own business.

JCS: But Madame, it’s the world’s business. If Santa leaves, what will the children get on Christmas?

LEON REDBONE (Ain’t Misbehavin’): What do I care?

JCS: Are you angry with your husband?

CARNIVAL (1961 Broadway cast): I hate him!

JCS: Very sad news here from the North Pole.

FRANK ZAPPA (Sharleena): I’m crying.

DEEJAY: That was the Heinous Anuses: “Crying!”

JCS: This is John Cameron Sleazy watching crowds gather outside Santa’s factory. Oh my goodness, two unemployed elves have broken into the workshop with hunting knives. 

ARLO GUTHRIE (Alice’s Restaurant Massacre): Kill kill kill!

JCS: Santa fends them off with a machete!

2LIVECREW (Get the Fuck Out of My House): Get the fuck out my house!

JCS: Santa Claus is climbing up the chimney trying to escape.

ICE CUBE (When Will They Shoot?): They’ll never get me, they’ll never hit me.

JCS: The disturbed elf is giving chase.

ARLO GUTHRIE (Alice’s Restaurant Massacree): Kill kill kill!

JCS: Santa Claus has made it safely up the chimney and is surveying the crowd.

THE DRIFTERS (Up on the Roof): Up on the roof.

JCS: Santa Claus! Why have you resigned?

VAN MORRISON (So Complicated): So complicated, just want to blow my horn.

JCS: Your horn? Aren’t you Santa?

SHOOBY TAYLOR (Shooby Records): I’m Shooby Taylor, the human horn. When the fuck you gonna realize that?

JCS: No you are not, sir. And rumor has it that you have been forced to quit because of charges brought against you.

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS (I Don’t Believe You): I don’t believe you.

JCS: Children as young as five have accused you of sexual assault.

MATTHEW SWEET (What Do You Know): What do you know?

JCS: I have a child right here who says you molested him.  Isn’t that right, Sonny?

AFROMAN (Colt 45): We fucked on the bed, fucked on the floor.

JCS: Santa, isn’t it true you made this boy push a lump of coal into your ass?

THE DOORS (The End): Son, I want to kill you.

DYLAN (1966 live, Like a Rolling Stone): You’re a liar!

JCS: Little boy, why did Santa make you do this?

LIZ PHAIR (Chopsticks): That way we can fuck and watch TV.

JCS: Santa, explain your behavior to this poor boy!

NEIL YOUNG (Hawks & Doves): Just don’t got nothing to say.

JCS: Why the coal, Santa? Was it to teach him something?

REDD FOXX (Wash Your Ass): You got to wash yo’ ass.

JCS: Oh Santa, is that why Mrs. Claus is abandoning you?

CEE-LO GREEN (Fuck You): Fuck you and fuck her, too.

JCS: Little boy, do you have any advice for other children in your situation?

ICE CUBE (Get Off My Dick and Tell Your Bitch to Come Here): Stay off his dick!

JCS: Santa Claus is climbing into his sleigh, and Rudolph does not look happy.

ELVIS COSTELLO (Oliver’s Army): And I would rather be anywhere else but here today.

JCS: Santa, before you go, do you have a message for the children of the world?

BOB DYLAN (Masters of War): And I hope that you die, and your death will come soon.

JCS: Santa that’s horrible. And where are you going exactly?

WING (Highway to Hell): I’m on the highway to hell. 

JCS: And there he goes, the last of Santa and his reindeer.

FAIRPORT CONVENTION (Farewell, Farewell): Farewell, farewell.

JCS: This is John Cameron Sleazy bringing you back to the studio. Bye bye Santa!

FRANK ZAPPA: Goodnight. Goodnight boys and girls.

BEATLES: (A Day in the Life) Final Chord.

©2012 David Lefkowitz

Dave’s Gone By Interview (11/17/2012): FRANK DECARO & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with humorist and author Frank DeCaro. (Introduction by Dave Lefkowitz)

Topics include: Hollywood, homosexuality and The Dead Celebrity Cookbook

Segment originally aired Nov. 17, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2012 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #400 (11/17/2012): ON ALL FOUR

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Here is the 400th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Nov. 17, 2012. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave celebrates his 400th show with Saturday Segues (Thanksgiving, Counting Up), Inside Broadway (Parade), News Gone By, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later. Plus: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews humorist Frank DeCaro.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: humorist Frank DeCaro

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:02:30 DAVE GOES OFF – 400 Shows
00:21:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Counting Up
00:37:30 Sponsors
00:45:30 INSIDE BROADWAY (news (00:45:30) & Parade (00:53:30)
01:06:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Frank DeCaro
01:42:00 NEWS GONE BY
01:48:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later
02:17:00 SATURDAY SEGUE: Thanksgiving
02:47:30 Friends & Thanks
02:55:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Nov. 17, 2012 Playlist: “One Hundred Miles” (00:22:00; Ted Hawkins). “Semi-Fraudulent / Direct-From-Hollywood Overture” (00:25:00; Frank Zappa & the Mothers of Invention). “300 Pounds of Joy” (00:27:30; Howlin’ Wolf). “400 Years” (00:30:30; Bob Marley & the Wailers). “500% More Man” (00:33:00; Bo Diddley). “Do it Alone” (01:02:30; Parade Broadway cast w/ Carolee Carmello). “Everybody Sings” (01:39:00; Allen Ginsberg). “When I Paint My Masterpiece” (01:52:30), “Lily of the West” (01:56:00), “Tomorrow is a Long Time” (01:59:30), “Sarah Jane” (02:02:30), “You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere” (02:05:00), “Dignity” (02:08:00; Bob Dylan). “Thanksgiving” (02:20:30; Loudon Wainwright III). “Thank You” (02:25:30; Led Zeppelin). “Thank You” (02:29:30; Dave Brubeck). “Thanksgiving Day Parade” (02:33:00; Dan Bern).

Frank DeCaro
Happy Thanksgiving!
Parade at the University of Northern Colorado

Dave’s Gone By Interview (11/10/2012): JORMA KAUKONEN

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with musician Jorma Kaukonen.

Topics include: Jefferson Airplane, Hot Tuna, guitars.

Segment originally aired Nov. 10, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2012 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #399 (11/10/2012): HOT KAUKO

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Here is the 399th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Nov. 10, 2012. Info: davesgoneby.com. 

Featuring: Dave chats with guitar legend Jorma Kaukonen (Hot Tuna, Jefferson Airplane); Dave’s trip to Vancouver; Dave Goes Off on Mitt’s mistakes; Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (companions from the north); Inside Broadway.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: musician Jorma Kaukonen

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:08:00 DAVE GOES OFF – On Vancouver
00:35:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Canada
01:02:00 Sponsors
01:13:00 Guest: Jorma Kaukonen
02:11:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (news (02:11:30) & reviews (Eternal Hydra (02:22:00))
02:27:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (comrades from the north)
02:47:30 Friends
02:49:30 DAVE GOES OFF – Mitt’s Mistakes
03:02:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Nov. 10, 2012 Playlist: “Ten O’Clock in Toronto” (00:35:00; Christine Lavin). “Canadian Sunset” (00:39:30; Andy Williams). “The Lost Canadian (Un Canadien Errant) (00:42:30; Leonard Cohen). “A Montreal Song” (00:47:00; Bruce Cockburn). “A Case of You” ({live “Miles of Aisles” version}, 00:51:00; Joni Mitchell). “My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada” (00:55:30; Avenue Q, Broadway cast). “In Canada” (00:56:30; BJ Snowden). “Genesis” (01:09:00), “Blues Stay Away from Me” (02:00:00) & “Flying Clouds” (02:05:00; Jorma Kaukonen). “Embryonic Journey” (01:21:30) & “She Has Funny Cars” (01:26:00; Jefferson Airplane). “Sunrise Dance with the Devil” (01:38:30; Hot Tuna). “Gridlock” (01:50:00; Warren Zevon). “Alberta #1” (02:28:00), “Canadee-I-O” (02:31:00), “Seven Days” (02:39:00) & “Alberta #2” (02:43:00; Bob Dylan). “Girl from the North Country” (02:35:00; The Clancy Brothers).

Jorma Kaukonen now
Jorma Kaukonen then
restaurant sign
Vancouver