Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #58 (2/24/2013): More Purim Jokes

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #58 (2/24/2013): More Purim Jokes

aired February 23, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/e9ICds0fO8k

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of February 24th, 2013.

Happy Purim everybody! A wonderful day on the Jewish calendar where we give thanks that we weren’t all killed by Persians a couple of thousand years ago. We celebrate by reading the book of Esther, giving shalach manos – which is a charitable donation of food and snacks to people we care about. We celebrate by putting on costumes, getting drunk, and, in certain areas of the world, watching Nascar.

I like to celebrate by spreading laughter, by telling a joke or two, and then explaining the joke for people who are too shikkered up on Kedem to get the punchlines. Or, more importantly, the moral.

Let’s begin with the tale of three sons, nice grown Jewish boys, all of them successful abroad, all of them forever trying to impress their mama back in Brooklyn.

They meet for lunch in London, and the oldest son, Moishe, says, “I built mama a three-story house near Prospect Park. She just moved in last week.”

The second boy, Yitzchak, says, “Well, I bought mama a brand-new Mercedes with a round-the-clock driver to take her anywhere she wants to go.”

Avi, the youngest son, says, “I’m the only one who’s really thinking of mom’s needs. I bought her a parrot!”

“A parrot?” the other two go. “What are you meshuggeh?”

“Not at all,” says Avi. “Mama’s a widow, she’s lonely. I got her a beautiful parrot that is also brilliant. I spent thousands of dollars getting language teachers to teach the bird English, Hebrew and Yiddish. And then I paid a Rabbi even more money to help the parrot memorize all five books of the Torah, so whenever mama wants, he can recite.”

Just at that moment, Moishe’s cellphone rings, and it’s mama on the phone. He puts her on speaker and says, “Mama we’re all here. How do you like our gifts?”

And the old woman’s voice comes out the phone and says, “Well, to be honest, the house is very nice, Moishe, but it’s so big. I can’t deal with the cleaning, and I get lost from room to room. I think I’ll move back to my apartment.”

Moishe sighs and hands the phone to his brother. “Yitzchack,” the mother says, “I know you mean well, but a German car? And that driver, he never shuts up. Really, I’d rather walk.”

Yitzchak deflates and hands the phone to the third brother. “Avi, my youngest,” the mama says. “Thank you! Thank you! What a perfect gift! The chicken was delicious!”

We have all heard the old adage, “It’s the thought that counts.” It’s not how much money it costs or how puffed up you feel by making an impression. It’s trying to please the person you are gifting. You could buy a $200 pair of Nikes, but if you give them to Oscar Pistorius, what’s the point? Of course, if you gave him a Smith-Wesson, that he might have use for.

A studious but poor young Rebbe would sit in the backyard of his little shul and ponder and ponder and ask questions of God. This went on for months, years, until one day, HaShem decides to make it a conversation.

“I’m here,” He says, “What do you wanna know?”

“Well,” says the Rebbe, “I’ve been thinking about the nature of time. For example, what is a million years to you?”

God says, “You’re a human. A million years to you is just one second to me.”

The Rabbi thinks a little bit and says, “What about money? What is a million dollars to you?”

“Ha!” God laughs, He says, “a million dollars to you is less than a penny to me. It’s a pittance.”

“In that case,” the Rabbi says, “can I have a million dollars?”

“Sure,” says God, “in a second.”

If there’s one thing that Jews seem to know better than almost any other religion is that God, if He exists, follows His own rules and principles. We can assuage him with prayers and good deeds, we can interpret the Torah six ways to Shabbos, but really, HaShem does what He does, and we all follow furtively along. Like storm chasers. Get too near the tornado, you’ve got the Tower of Babel; stray too far from the tornado, and you wander for forty years. So the best bet is to pursue God with a lot of awe, a little fear, and a good pair of binoculars.

Last joke: What’s the difference between an Orthodox Jewish wedding, a Conservative wedding, a Reform wedding and a Reconstructionist wedding?

Simple. In an Orthodox wedding, the bride’s mother is pregnant. In a Conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant. A Reform wedding, the Rabbi is pregnant. And in Reconstructionist, both brides are pregnant.

What I love about this joke is that despite the mockery, it embraces all the different strands of Jewish practice. You don’t have to wear a fur hat and payes – especially if you’re a woman. Or if modern ways are a little too modern, you can create the niche of Jewish custom that works for you. So, if you want to celebrate Purim by going to synagogue and singing and hearing the megillah, great! If you don’t observe Purim at all, but you’re a good person and Jewish in your heart, also great. And if you’re somewhere in the middle, but you wanna send me some shalach manos – prune is my favorite, though the apricot isn’t bad.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Purim Sameach!

(c) 2013 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29231

Dave’s Gone By Interview (2/23/2013): STEPHEN SCHOCHET & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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stephen-schochetRabbi Sol Solomon chats with author and Hollywood expert Stephen Schochet.

Topics include: Hollywood stories, film, movie stars.

Segment originally aired Sept. 22, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2013 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (2/23/2013): PHILIP LEFKOWITZ

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Dave Lefkowitz chats with his dad, PHILIP LEFKOWITZ

Topics include: dad’s birthday.

Segment aired Feb. 23, 2013 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Sad Note: Our father of the Daverhood, Philip Lefkowitz, passed May 5, 2021. 

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations.  For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2013 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #413 (2/23/2013): OSCAR CALIBER

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Here is the 413th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Feb. 23, 2013. Info: davesgoneby.com.

A pre-Oscar show featuring Rabbi Sol Solomon chatting with Hollywood expert Stephen Schochet and with Dave’s dad, Philip Lefkowitz. Plus: Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflection (Purim jokes), Inside Broadway, the News Gone By, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later and a Saturday Segue dedicated to recent passings in music.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: author Stephen Schochet, Dave’s dad, Philip Lefkowitz

00:00:01 PRE-SHOW
00:07:00 DAVE GOES IN
00:17:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Passings
01:00:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (news (01:00:00) & “Madea Gets a Job” review (01:22:30))
01:33:00 Sponsors
01:41:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Stephen Schochet
02:19:00 NEWS GONE BY
02:26:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #58: More Purim Jokes
02:33:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (movies)
02:57:00 Friends
03:02:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Philip Lefkowitz
03:25:30 Weather
03:27:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Feb. 23, 2013 Playlist: “The Birthday Present” (00:05:00; Loudon Wainwright III). “The Saints” (00:20:00), “My Bonnie” (00:29:30), “Why” (00:36:00) & “Nobody’s Child” (00:48:00; Tony Sheridan & the Beatles). “Leader of the Pack” (00:22:00) & “Remember” (Walking in the Sand)” (00:34:00; The Shangri-Las). “Midnight Blues” (00:25:00) & “The Sky is Crying” (00:39:00; Magic Slim). “A Girl’s Gotta Do What a Girl’s Gotta Do” (00:31:30) & “You’ll Never Know” (00:44:30; Mindy McCready). “A Beautiful Morning” (01:10:30; The Rascals). “The Color Purple (Reprise)” (01:18:30; The Color Purple Broadway cast). “Life Can Be Like the Movies” (01:39:30; Chaplin, 2012 Broadway cast). “If You were in My Movie” (02:16:00; Suzanne Vega). “Things Have Changed” (02:34:00), “Hero Blues” (02:39:00), “Clean Cut Kid” (02:40:30) & “Brownsville Girl” (Bob Dylan). “Prisoners of Love” (03:22:30; “The Producers” (1969 film soundtrack).

Stephen Schochet
Philip Lefkowitz
Madea
Tony Sheridan
Magic Slim
Shadow Morton
Mindy McCready
Happy Purim!
Rabbi Sol Solomon

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #57 (2/17/2013): Pope Benedict Retires

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #57 (2/17/2013): Pope Benedict Retires

aired February 16th, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/H3KYHpwGAFs

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of February 17th, 2013.

Big news for goyim this week when Joseph Ratzinger – aka Pope Benedict the 16th – announced that he would be stepping down from his Popery at the end of the month. It’s an unusual step, since most Popes either die in office or quit to take on consulting work in the fashion industry. But Pope Benedict felt that both his mind and body were starting to go, so rather than decline into a senile figurehead, he’s gracefully bowing out so the cardinals can groom someone else for the most important job in all Christendom. Well, apart from being CEO of Hobby Lobby.

In his eight years of Popeing, Benedict has racked up a decidedly mixed record. To be fair, he had a hard act to follow. In 2005, he succeeded Pope John Paul II, who not only traveled extensively but won the Miss Congeniality pageant four out of the seven years he entered. Following Pope JPII is like coming after Jimi Hendrix at Monterey; you can either burn two guitars and play a third with your shmeckel, or you go the other way, hang back, do your thing, and try to make your own little contribution while half the crowd is stumbling to the concession stands.

Let us also not forget that Pope Benedict did not exactly have the saintliest early life. He was a German. In the `30s. So when he was 14 years old, he was forced to join the Hitler Youth. He wasn’t crazy about it, but he didn’t exactly take a martyr’s stand against it, either. Two years later, he was a soldier in the German air force and then the infantry.  Again, he wasn’t thrilled to be there, but tell that to any western allies he flew over or shot at. Then, when the war was all but over, he deserts and runs home. Interesting qualifications for being the holiest man in the world and spiritual guide to millions: be part of the most racist, homicidal regime in history, fight and be ready to kill for that country, and when the going gets rough, escape and be a traitor. In the same shoes, would I have had the moral fiber to be any different? Probably not, but I’m not Pope.

Nor am I likely to be. My application for the open position has already been rejected, they say because I don’t have Quark Express, but ehhh… I think it’s anti-Semitism.

Anyhoo, once he became Pope, no question, Benedict had the courage of his convictions. He was a conservative who believed in sticking with time-honored traditions and pulling Catholicism back from what he perceived to be a hastening secularized decay. When a religion is 2000 years old, there’s a comfort in that – hearing the Latin, upholding the old guard, knowing that the geezer charge has more in common with a monk from the 1200s than with a slacker from 2012. I compare it to the ultra-Orthodox Jews you see at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem every day. They’re incredibly insular and right wing, and they believe the bible word for word, and anything new you throw at them is so terrifying, they shrink into their black coats like potato bugs curling up into a ball. But they’re also a link to the past that would be really sad to lose. They’re out there being perfect so the rest of us don’t have to.

Except, nobody’s perfect. And Pope Benedict’s back-to-the-dark-ages position on certain issues isn’t even close. Women priests? No way. Abortion? No, but no surprise there. Same-sex marriage? He likened it to anarchy and called it “contrary to human love.” Because a celibate ex-Nazi is certainly my go-to expert on love and matrimony.

He did better, much better, on Jewish matters, making sure to renounce the whole “Jews killed Jesus” thing and visiting Auschwitz in 2012 – and not just to reminisce with old classmates and relatives. He did restore to the liturgy a Latin prayer that had a part in it about making sure to convert the Jews. But they cut that line years ago. I think they replaced it with some lyrics from Led Zeppelin IV. And when it’s come to Israel and the Arabs, Benedict has tried to be even-handed and a champion of peace, which is exactly what you’d want and expect from the Pope. He also pissed off the Arabs when he audaciously mentioned that Islam doesn’t exactly have a peaceful reputation. That’s about as self-evident as saying Paulie Shore movies don’t reach the level of high art – but when the Pope says it, it’s news.

Did Benedict do too little, too laity about all those pedophile priests? Of course! Heck, as a Cardinal, he was as guilty as anyone of hushing things up and making sure all the horrors stayed inside the church. Heaven forbid they should get in the clutches of such pesky outsiders as police and courts and the public’s right to know. But ultimately, the biggest disappointment about Pope Benedict is the hypocrisy that I’m sure he doesn’t even see. He’s willing to leap into the modern era with a Facebook page and Twitter tweets, and he’s the first Pope in 600 years to step down instead of drop dead. So why is he willing to break those traditions, yet making the church evolve in its stance on women and gays and embryos – that would be heresy.

When all is said and done, the real story of Pope Benedict is that he’s a smart guy whose career was spent either saving his skin or salvaging the status quo. If the Nazis come, salute; if they put you in a uniform, fight; if they lose, run; if your colleagues are shtupping little boys, juggle; if you say something risky, backpedal; but if the world turns forward, stand still.

The Vatican has an opportunity now to turn the corner. They can get a Pope from Africa, or Latin America, or Passaic. They can elect a guy who’ll separate important moral principles from stuff that’s been done just because it’s always been done. I’m not expecting to see Catholicism suddenly embrace pro-choice rallies, lady priests and gay honeymoons – but why not? If a black man can become president, and a Hitler Youth can be Pope, and Honey BooBoo can be a TV star, anything can happen.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Dominus vobiscum, zie gezundt.

(c) 2013 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29236

Dave’s Gone By #412 (2/16/2013): PRES PLAY

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Here is the 412th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Feb. 16, 2013. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: A pre-President’s Day show with Saturday Segues (presidents, Yoko Ono), Inside Broadway, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (shooting stars), News Gone By and Rabbi Sol Solomon on the Pope’s retirement.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:09:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Presidents (Part 1)
00:36:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
00:55:30 Sponsors
01:02:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Yoko Ono
01:40:30 Weather
01:41:30 NEWS GONE BY
01:52:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (shooting stars)
02:31:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’s RABBINICAL REFLECTION #57 – Pope Benedict Resigns
02:40:30 Friends
02:47:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Presidents (Part 2)
03:11:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Feb. 16, 2013 Playlist: “Young Americans” (00:10:00; David Bowie). “On the Nickel” (00:15:00; Tom Waits). “Who Needs the Peace Corps?” (00:21:30). “Arthur” (The Kinks; 00:24:00). “Burn On” (Randy Newman; 00:29:00). “Poppa Knows Best” (Two By Two 1970 Bway cast w/ Danny Kaye; 00:52:00). “Yang Yang” (01:11:00), “What a Mess” (01:14:30), “Listen the Snow is Falling” (01:17:00), “I Felt Like Smashing My Face in a Clear Glass Window” (01:20:30), “Toyboat” (01:28:00), “A Story” (01:31:30) & “We’re All Water” (01:34:00) & “Hard Times are Over” (03:13:30; Yoko Ono). “The Ballad of John and Yoko (The Beatles w/ John Lennon; 01:25:00). “I Had to Kill that Rabbit” (01:48:00; Tom Paxton). “Changing of the Guards” (01:53:00), “Union Sundown” (01:59:30), “Desolation Row” (02:05:00), “Romance in Durango” ({live 1975}; 02:16:30) & “Shooting Star” ({live MTV Unplugged version; 02:21:30; Bob Dylan). “Mr. Wilson” (02:47:00; John Cale). “Broken Hearted Hoover Fixer Sucker Guy” (“Once” {film soundtrack w/ Glen Hansard}; 02:50:30). “Captain Kennedy” (Nikki Sudden; 02:51:30). “The Campaigner” (02:55:30; Neil Young). “Famous Blue Raincoat” (02:59:00; Tori Amos). “The Dreaming” (03:04:00; Kate Bush).

Pope Benedict
white smoke!
Yoko Ono
Rabbi Sol Solomon

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #56 (2/10/2013): Valentine’s Day

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #56 (2/10/2013): Valentine’s Day

aired February 9th, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/yK-2Mmg9-yk

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of February 10th, 2013.

Would you be my Valentine? Actually, you’re wise if you wouldn’t. St. Valentine, upon whom the Valentine’s Day holiday is kind of, sort of, not exactly really based, was a possibly apocryphal figure – well, all the saints were apocryphal to Yids like me. But if you’re a goy, and you believe in such stories, St. Valentine was one of two things: He was either a composite of a couple of different saints because he was so undistinguished as a saint himself. Or he was a good guy, a hard-working believer – who was clubbed to death and martyred on February 14th. Either way, who the hell wants to be him?

As for Valentine’s Day itself, very likely it was the Catholic Church’s response to a pagan celebration – the feast of Lupercal. Personally, I think Sustacal and Metrecal are more slimming. But the point is, the church couldn’t have some idolatrous holiday interfering with their practice, so like Halloween and Christmas, they morphed the comical into something canonical.

How did hearts and cupids and $180 Zales receipts creep into it? I have no idea, but I’m glad they did, because it makes Valentine’s Day a holiday everyone can celebrate. That human beings need an excuse to express affection is a sad thing. But if one day of the year, you can turn to your partner or spouse or well-paid escort and say, “I love you. Thank you for all you bring to my life. Please pick up some rye bread on the way home.” That’s a beautiful thing.

I realize that for those who are alone and lonely, Valentine’s can be a hollow holiday indeed. Seeing all those Hallmark cards in the Rite Aid, watching couples on the street holding hands, watching couples in porn holding glands, and finding 2-for-1 restaurant coupons in the Sunday paper, then wondering if it’s worth the embarrassment to go solo and put the second entrée in a doggie bag.

My single friends, I feel your pain. It’s just below the ribcage and spasms uncontrollably, but it’s okay, I’m on medication. The solution for everyone is to not look at Valentine’s Day as just for romantic couples. It’s for everyone who has loved you or you have loved in the course of your travels: family, neighbors, pets, inflatable dolls with lifelike genitalia. As Stephen Stills once put it, “Love the one you’re with.” Just make sure you have warm towels and a disinfectant.

And let us not forget that Valentine’s Day now has a whole other context thanks to The Vagina Monologues. Eve Ensler’s play about women and their nether parts became a global phenomenon. And now, February 14th is a day to protest violence and abuse against women, for women themselves to take pride in their achievements, and, of course, for us all to pay tribute to those hairy little pusselehs.

So let this and every Valentine’s Day be not just about $70 restaurants and 7-11 roses, but mutual appreciation. A day of smiles, and hugs, and thank yous and vaginas. If you’re lucky, not necessarily in that order.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c) 2013 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29240

Dave’s Gone By Interview (2/9/2013): MARTIN CHARNIN & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with Martin Charnin, Broadway director and lyricist

Topics include: the York Theater Company’s revival of Two By Two and the Broadway revival of Annie.

Segment originally aired Feb. 9, 2013 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Sad Note: Our friend of the Daverhood, Martin Charnin, passed July 7, 2019 at age 84.

Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2013 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Writer-Director Martin Charnin

Dave’s Gone By #411 (2/9/2013): CHARN SCHOOL

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Here is the 411th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Feb. 9, 2013. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with Broadway director and lyricist Martin Charnin (Annie, Two By Two); a pre-Valentine’s Day celebration with love songs, hate songs, Dylan songs, and Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflection on the holiday; Inside Broadway; Dave Says Bye to Reg Presley of The Troggs.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: Martin Charnin

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:15:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Love Songs
00:46:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Martin Charnin
01:45:30 Sponsors
01:50:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:05:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (Valentine’s Day)
02:39:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #056 – Valentine’s Day
02:43:30 DAVE SAYS BYE to Reg Presley
02:56:00 Friends
03:01:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Hate Songs
03:19:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Feb. 9, 2013 Playlist: “Silver & Gold” (00:16:00; Neil Young). “Me About You” (00:19:00; The Turtles). “Kiss” (00:21:30; Richard Thompson). “I Live for You” (00:25:30; George Harrison). “True Love Leaves No Traces” (00:29:00; Leonard Cohen). “Stay in Touch” (00:33:30; Joni Mitchell). “Love Colours” (00:36:30; The Pretenders). “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile” (00:46:30), “Tomorrow” (01:23:00) & “Maybe” (01:34:00) (Annie, 1999 TV film). “Ninety Again” (01:00:00), “An Old Man” (01:08:00) & “Two By Two” (01:40:00; Two By Two, 1970 Broadway cast w/ Danny Kaye & Joan Copeland). “Annie Ain’t Just Annie Anymore” (01:30:00; Annie Warbucks, off-Broadway cast). “Betrayed” (02:01:30; Lou Reed). “Tonight I’ll Be Staying Here with You” (02:06:30), “I Want You” ({live at Budokan version}; 02:10:00), “Sara” (02:12:30), “I’m in the Mood for You” (02:18:00), “Lay Lady Lay” (02:21:00), “Wedding Song” (02:24:00) & “This Dream of You” (02:29:00; Bob Dylan). “Love is All Around” (02:43:30), “I Want You” (02:46:00), “Any Way You Want Me” (02:48:30), “Wild Thing” (02:51:00; The Troggs w/ Reg Presley). “I Don’t Really Love You Anymore” (03:04:00; The Magnetic Fields). “Living Without You” (03:06:30; Randy Newman). “Can’t We Be Friends” (03:09:00; Frank Sinatra). “Old Maid in the Garrett” (The Clancy Brothers; 03:11:30). “I’m Thru with Love” (03:14:00; Nat King Cole). “Green Valentine Blues” (03:24:00; Allen Ginsberg).

Writer-Director Martin Charnin
Danny Kaye with Joan Copeland in Two By Two
Reg Presley
Valentine’s Day
Rabbi Sol Solomon

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #55 (2/3/2013): Oldies but Goodies


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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #55 (2/3/2013): Oldies but Goodies

Aired February 2nd, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rWYhZ0sCBo

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of February 3rd, 2013.

We are such a disposable society, any story – from a terrible flood to a bear lumbering into a shopping center – any event is good for two news cycles, and then it’s on to the next. We had a fiscal cliff – “Oy, the fiscal cliff, the fiscal cliff, the fiscal cliff!” Until some lunatic shot up a dayschool. Then it was “gun control, gun control, gun control!” Until next week, when it’s – Oh, I dunno, Chris Brown beating Rihanna again.

And the old 15 minutes of fame is now four minutes. Unless it’s an embarrassing or criminal kind of fame, in which case you get a show on VH-1 and live in perpetuity on Vimeo.

Our cultural motto is “What have you done for me lately?” And if lately is more than six months ago, we don’t even stay for the answer. So it’s heartening to find to find one trend bucking the trend. (And if you’ve ever had your trend bucked, you know just how pleasurable that can be.) The trend is for dinosaurs to roam the earth again. And by dinosaurs, I mean the great rock-and-roll stars of the `60’s.

When the entertainment community sought a charitable response to Hurricane Sandy, whom did they turn to? This week’s flavor of the month? No. Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones, The Who. People whose combined ages would make Methuselah go, “Damn, they’re getting up there.”

At the benefit, Sir Paul rocked out with the members of Nirvana who weren’t driven to suicide by their wives. The Rolling Stones played two songs – which doesn’t sound like a lot, but in concert, that’d be 85 dollars worth right there. And then you had The Who – who reminded us how lucky Horton was to hear them. Yes, Roger Daltrey’s bare chest looked like the underside of a roasted ham, but the rest of him rocked out. And nobody does a windmill like Pete Townshend. Well, maybe the Dutch.

Anyhoo, around the same time, all the members of Led Zeppelin who didn’t drink 40 consecutive shots of Absolut were making the talk-show circuit with a DVD. Neil Young was putting out new music with Crazy Horse, David Bowie was finishing up a new album, and Paul Simon’s planning an Australian tour.

And yet there are grumblers who say that these people are all past their prime and should have retired long ago. Their voices are shot, all their best songs are three decades old, and fans are paying big bucks for diminished returns. In many cases this is true. If you go see Bob Dylan on his never-ending tour, you’re not getting 1966 electric Dylan and the Band; you’re getting 2013 eccentric Dylan and the bland. But that’s not just a function of age. Bob Dylan’s been giving shitty concerts since 1978. And 20, 30 years ago, a bad night could be infuriating. But now?

Is it enough to just see Zimmerman stand there onstage, mumble through a dozen classics and then give everyone hearing damage from his overmiked harmonica? You’re damn right it’s enough, because he’s still here, and we’re lucky to have him. Same with all these groups. If the Rolling Stones can’t make another “Goat’s Head Soup” – because they don’t have enough teeth to chew goat meat anymore; if David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust rises and falls – and can’t get up; if Leonard Cohen sings “Hallelujah” because he made it to the toilet before soiling his Huggies; if Paul McCartney sings “Help!” less often than he presses his Life Alert for help, if Neil Young has a heart of gold – and a hip of titanium; it’s still nice when they make albums. It’s what they do.

Retirement comes hard to artists, especially if they don’t want to become an oldies act, or even if they do. I guess patient zero in this case history is Frank Sinatra. By his final concerts, he was forgetting lyrics, repeating songs, stumbling over the fine line between indulgence and embarrassment. But ask anybody who went if they’d have missed a second of it. If they wouldn’t gladly sit through 90 minutes of, “Well, that’s what he’s like now” to be reminded for just five, “ahh, that’s what he was like then.”

So hail to the dinosaurs who walk among us. If their joints creak a little when they stomp, well, so do mine. And if they wanna make a little more noise before they go extinct, that’s not a shame, it’s a gift. With all due respect to Neil Young, the great ones don’t have to burn out or fade away. Just play.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c) 2013 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

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