Month: April 2026

DON’T BUGGER ME

(c)2026 David Lefkowitz

(Sung to the melody of The Beatles’s “Don’t Bother Me” by George Harrison)

The judge said, “Hey, you’ll have to pay, you did the crime.”
I’m in the pen with many men all doing time.
So go away, leave me alone
Don’t bugger me.

I live in fear `cause people here are queer and black
They look so tough I know they’d roughly stuff my crack
So put away your throbbing bone
Don’t bugger me.

I’m crying nightly without hope
I hold on tightly to my soap
Because I know if I bend low
That’s where these friends will go

Yes, I am cowed by this whole crowd so well-endowed
One of these weeks they’ll spread my cheeks and I’ll get plowed
Don’t make me share my derrière
Don’t bugger me

So get a life, I’m not your wife
Don’t bugger me

Although my butt is firm and cute
I don’t want sperm in my poop chute
Because my ass is just a vent
For gas and excrement

It’s fair to say men locked away still have a need
But if they jump upon my rump, I’ll scream and bleed
So listen here, steer clear of my rear
Don’t bugger me
Don’t bugger me
Don’t bugger me
Don’t bugger me

****************************
NOTES & BACKSTORY:
[April 2026]: Another song that came to me partially one late afternoon, marinated in me overnight, and then got finished and recorded the next day (April 9, 2026, to be exact). I’m proud(?) to say this is my 14th Beatles parody yet not the first to reference sodomy (cf. “Chester’s Gay”). I think the “plowed” rhyme is my favorite, followed by “I’m not your wife.” Note – `twas only during the recording process that I hit upon adding Ned Beatty’s “Deliverance” squeals during the karaoke instrumental, which I believe takes the tune to a whole other, even lower, level.