Month: April 2023

A ballad about a man in distress.

Song scheduled to air April 22, 2023, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

All content (c)2023 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

MR. POODANGLES

(Note: Sung to melody of Jerry Jeff Walker’s “Mr. Bojangles”)

I met a man, Poodangles, in a portajohn
And he was in pain
He said that he’d been sittin’ there all afternoon
Dead-tired from the strain

He started to cry
I asked him why
And then he explained

“When I was young so long ago, I ate some beef
That stuck in my gut,
And ever since I’ve been backed up with no relief
it’s ruptured my butt.”

The poor man did shout,
“It’s half in, half out.
And my anus won’t shut.”

Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles:
Squeeze.

He said he spent ten thousand bucks on Dulcolax
and all kinds of lube
But still he’s got a wad of turd that won’t go back
or drop from his tube

Lamenting his trials
He kneels on the tiles
Then he shows me his piles

Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles, Mr. Poodangles:
Pinch.

The last time I saw `dangles he was skin and bones
but still on the bowl 
Sore and sad and bleedin’ bad and all alone
with his unwholesome hole

And yet he still pushed
On his mush
But it clung to his tush

They tell me Poo was buried in the portaloo
His final request
They sent him off with flowers and a Charmin roll
And all the towels he messed

And when the earth dropped
Everyone stopped…
Did they hear a “plop”?

Mr. Poodangles. Mr. Poodangles. Mr. Poodangles.
Rest.

(c)2023 David Lefkowitz