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Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #213 (9/11/2026): 25 YEARS

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Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #213 (9/11/2026): 25 YEARS

Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the 25th anniversary of 9/11.

This Rabbinical Reflection first aired Sept. 12, 2026 on the “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflections air on the long-running Dave’s Gone By program (davesgoneby.com) and are also archived on the Rebbe’s blog, Shalomdammit.com.

Rabbi Sol is also the creator of the stage shows, “Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon” and “Hate Speech…With Love: Another Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon.”

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #213 (9/11/2026): 25 Years

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon, with a Rabbinical Reflection for September 11th, 2026.

Has it really been a quarter century since the attacks of 9/11? Twenty-five years gone since a handful of psycho terrorists brought New York to a cataclysmic reckoning with the Arab world.

It can’t be that long ago. It feels like it happened before Covid but after the last episode of Breaking Bad. Now, September 11th can seem recent because so many horrible side effects are still with us. You can never feel 100 percent safe in downtown New York. Only a year ago did we stop taking off our shoes to get on an airplane. And any time a bunch of people gather in a mall, or a sporting event, or a parade, and somebody screams “Allahu Akbar!”, you know that’s won’t be followed by a demonstration of God’s greatness.

Watch any movie made in New York in the 30 years before 9/11, and there’s that moment, the establishing shot of the skyline: you see two boring but really tall towers that tell the world, “Hey, this ain’t Wichita. This is Manhattan. And if you can make it here, you probably already have a trust fund.” Those towers have been rebuilt into a glassy obelisk thing, but I miss the rectangles. And the people who worked in them.

At the risk of sounding Islamophobic, 9/11 is the day that reminded us why we’re phobic about Islam in the first place. The savagery was so traumatic, any prompt sends us right back to where we were, what we were doing, what we should have been doing instead of what we were doing, and how we grieved in that moment. Yet we are also reminded that the invasion, which instantly took the lives of 3000 Americans and whose long-term effects are still killing us, did not occur last month. In fact, it’s so long ago that the current generation of college kids wasn’t born until five years after the planes hit Wall Street and the Pentagon. Which means that to these babies, September 11th might as well be the San Francisco earthquake of 1906. It’s a lesson in the history books – except high schools are so bad they barely have time to get through World War II, let alone anything that happened in the 21st century.

Therefore, young people have no memory of 9/11, no understanding of life beyond their own tattoos and noise-canceling headphones. This renders them perfect targets for the lies of social media and noise-making influencers. An influencer is someone who achieved fame for their looks, which gives them carte blanche to pontificate on everything they know nothing about. Even worse are the celebrities whose modicum of talent fools them into believing they’re political scientists who can win a Nobel peace prize by bashing Israel. Schmucklemore? Javier Boredom? Roger Warthog? These scumbags think they’re a think tank?

Billie Foolish? Cynthia Toxin? Susan Sarandump? I don’t know where these putas learned poli sci, but I hope their bodies are polycystic – because left-wing college punks eat their garbage up. “9/11 was America’s fault.” “Bibi Netanyahu is Hitler.” “From the River to the Sea – It’s Team Hamas for Me!” Even the October 7th massacre is the Jews’ fault for oppressing the poor, poor Palestinians who have nowhere else to live — except 70 other countries in the Middle East and Africa . . . who won’t let them in. And that’s somehow the Jews’ fault, too.

Everything’s our fault again. Just like in the Middle Ages, like Papal Spain, like Weimar Germany. Only now the anti-Semitism is concealed behind blather like, “We just hate the Likud government. We just want the settlers out. We just prefer Jews not living near the Mediterranean but under it.”

History has proven Hebrews need a safe place of our own to live, and that very idea puts the whole world out of joint. Muslims kill RFK, throw Leon Klinghoffer overboard, kidnap and kill an Olympic team, attack Israel on Yom Kippur, slaughter French cartoonists, butcher an Israeli music festival, blow up trains in Madrid and Mumbai, bomb airports in London, Munich, Copenhagen, Brussels, and Athens; shoot up an Australian beach, blast the Boston Marathon, and nuke the World Trade Center twice – yet somehow Arabs are the pitiful victims of a worldwide Jewish conspiracy. Just ask any unwashed coed with a Free Gaza sign and a green tent – she’ll be happy to parrot back the hypocrisies she learned in her guilt-ridden, gender-dysmorphic, Marxist-mangling, vegan social-justice-warrior workshop.

Worse, she can’t begin to conceive of the sunny Tuesday morning, 25 years ago, when a tornado of Muslim madness leveled downtown Manhattan. Or that same evening, when New Yorkers covered with human ash, zombied their way across the Brooklyn Bridge. Or the months following, when every American lived in fear, choked on rage, and dwelled in sorrow.

Not only has the universe not returned to normal since it went to hell in a hummus basket, but in so many ways it’s been turned upside down by the ignorant and naive. The terrorists are the freedom fighters, the victims are all colonizers, and the truth has become fertilizer.

But I remember. I don’t forget, and I don’t forgive. And if you’re gonna come at me this week and disparagingly call me a “Zio,” or say 9/11 was “an inside job,” or couch your Jew hatred in horseshit phrases like “AIPAC money” and “stolen land,” don’t be shocked if I go Ground Zero on you. I may not be a first responder, but I think you know my first response (shows middle finger).

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches, in Great Neck, New York. Happy Jewish New Year, sad anniversary, and shalom dammit.

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #208 (5/23/2026): Mosque Attack

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Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #208 (5/23/2026): MOSQUE ATTACK

This Rabbinical Reflection first aired May 23, 2026 on the Dave’s Gone By video podcast.

Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflections air on the long-running Dave’s Gone By program (davesgoneby.com) and are also archived on the Rebbe’s blog, Shalomdammit.com.

Rabbi Sol is also the creator of the stage shows, “Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon” and “Hate Speech…With Love: Another Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon.”

TRANSCRIPT:
Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon, with a Rabbinical Reflection for late May 2026.

So often in these mini-sermons, I am mourning and expressing rage at attacks on Israel, synagogues, and the Jewish community. It came as almost a shock this week when a mosque, the Islamic Center of San Diego, became the target of terror. Three innocent people, including a security guard, were murdered by a couple of teenagers, whose stockpile of weapons included 30 guns and a crossbow. This is a horrible story, yet another in a long line of gun-crazy crazies ruining life for the rest of us. Condolences to the survivors of the dead, and compassion for the Moslem community enduring an unquestionable hate crime.

However, that said, there’s also room for gratitude. (And yes, here comes the politically incorrect part). As Jews, we should be grateful that the shooters were named Clark and Vazquez, and not Cohen and Vogel. All we needed now was another excuse for the watermelon crowd to bash us.

Speaking of the Intifada, I hate to say it (actually, I don’t hate to say it; I’m just gonna say it), but this is the Muslims getting a taste of their own medicine. For 78 years, Jews have lived with both the threat, and the realization, of terror violence. Year after year of bombings, blastings, stabbings, hijackings, four all-out wars, and then the atrocities of October 7th, 2023. Jews are forever the targets of blind hatred and slaughter – all too often at the hands of Arabs.

I am not saying, “Aha! This time we get one back!” That is reductive and ugly, even for me. Then I’d be like the Luigiites. They celebrate a psycho because the healthcare guy he shot was responsible for much more suffering and death than Luigi’s single killing. Still, two wrongs don’t…dot dot dot.

But perhaps this awful tragedy at the San Diego mosque will be a reminder that no matter how you despise someone else, terrorism is the wrong response. For example, just because it feels right to assassinate the guy who replaced supermarket cashiers with automated kiosks doesn’t mean it is right. Maybe.

And let’s not forget, those teenage losers in California didn’t just hate Muslims. These white supremacists abhorred schvartes, faigeles, women – because they couldn’t get laid – Republicans and Democrats. Oh, and they wrote a manifesto blaming Jews for everything. Well, isn’t that a kumbaya moment? Muslims, white supremacists, leftist progressives, and writers for the New York Times all standing together against the Hebrews. Hey, free country. Loathe us all you want. But if you go the next step, once in a great while, it’ll be your brains on the sidewalk. You have been warned.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches, in Great Neck, New York.

Happy shavuis.

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #197 (7/10/2025): Airport Shoes

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #197 (7/10/2025): Airport Shoes

airs July 12, 2025 on Dave’s Gone By. Watch here: —> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoVkSYV2-60

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for mid-July 2025.

Rarely do I enjoy going barefoot. It’s nice in the shower, lying in bed, giving my bunions a soak in a shissel of epsom salts. Otherwise, I prefer my feet covered. Even on a beach. On a blistering summer day, didja you ever try to run from a blanket to the ocean on hot sand? When you finally get your burning tootsies in the water, you step on a clam shard and a jellyfish stings your big toe. This is not enjoyable.

So, okay: wear socks. I LOVE SOCKS! Around the house, creeping on the porch to grab a newspaper, visiting friends without getting shoe-shmutz on the carpet. Socks enable you to go shoeless yet still perambulate safely, liberated from the tyranny of heavy footwear. You’re home? Unlace those Florsheims and relax. Taking off your shoes means freedom.

Except, for the last 19 years at airports, when Uncle Sam ordered you to ditch your shoes at the worst possible time. You’ve been waiting in a massive line while carrying half a ton of luggage and trying to inch forward. Then you pull your shoes off, toss them in a bin, walk on filthy carpeting, pass through a metal detector (that somehow detects weapons between your head and your ankles but no lower), show your I.D., grab your belongings, and at long last wrench your shoes back on while a dozen angry people behind you give you side-eye for taking so long.”

At the time, the government’s reasoning seemed reasonable: fear of Arab terrorism. In the late 1990s, an English putz named Richard Reid got Islamicized and traveled to Pakistan and Afghanistan to learn all sorts of ways to destroy the western world. By 2001, he was ready. Three months after 9/11, Dickie Reid boarded American Airlines Flight 63, and, rather than watch the in-flight movie or grapple with one of those neck-pillow things, he tried to blow the plane up. An attendant noticed him lighting a match and warned him it was a non-smoking flight. (I guess she didn’t think to warn him it was also a non-mass-murder flight.) Passengers saw Reid light another match and discovered he had a fuse connected to his shoe. They wrestled him to the floor and prevented him from detonating the explosives he’d stuffed into his Aspen workboots. Hilariously, the main reason Reid didn’t go kaboom was his nervous foot sweat dampening the fuse. It reminds me of the time, at our temple’s Purimspiel, when, as a gag, one of my parishioners lit his fart . . . except it was more than a fart and he had to pay $3,000 to clean the Torah. And Mrs. Feinberg’s blouse.

But the point is Richard Reid, an incompetent moron, was just one of a gazillion airline passengers since the Wright Brothers achieved liftoff. Leave it to the American government under George W. Bush to take this anomalous episode and make it another reason why we can’t have nice things. The Transportation Security Administration, citing aviation safety, ordered all flyers henceforth to remove their shoes before boarding an aircraft. This was such an urgent matter after the December 2001 shoe-bomb attempt, that the TSA rule took effect immediately…in August 2006.

You can’t make this shit up. Actually, they did make this shit up, because, obviously, the shoe mandate had nothing to do with safety and everything to do with the government testing just how much control they could exert over the American sheeple. Turns out, quite a lot. And it came in handy when they forced small stores to close during COVID, and now, when they’re sending ICE to randomly check if brown people are American citizens.

The ballsiest hypocrisy of all is that for years, you could pay for a TSA PreCheck. Eighty dollars meant skip the line, and keep your computer zipped, your belt buckled, and your shoes tied. Bounce onto the Boeing while all your fellow travelers glare and mutter, “Who does he know, and who did he blow?”

Truth is, money talks, always. Either that, or Homeland Security somehow believed that jihadists would spend months planning a hijacking but then balk at spending an extra 80 bucks. Jews would haggle, but Arabs? Arabs have so much oil money, they use 80 dollar bills to clean their 10 dollar bills.

The shoe rule was one big sham and scam, security theater creating the illusion of protection. Like putting an unopened condom on your nightstand before having sex. It looks reassuring, but if it’s not on your hoo-ha, it ain’t doin’ doo-dah.

Anyhoo, this is all by way of sharing some actual good news for once: 19 years after instituting the sandal scandal, the TSA is finally discontinuing its shoes-off nonsense. They’re trying it at selected airports and then expected to roll it out cross country, even Newark. Will this speed up airport check-ins? Will this make the boarding process less pointlessly anxious? Will air travel stop feeling like sitting between Lizzo and Shrek on a crosstown bus?

As a practical pessimist, I’m guessing none of the above. But at a time when everything feels worse—even if it isn’t, and the government, albeit with good intentions, brazenly threatens Constitutional free speech and free assembly, at least let us shower kudos on whoever in power put one ridiculous regulation in reverse: you can do as you choose with your Jimmy Choos. It’s a win for de-feet. Now, is it too much to ask for four ounces of shampoo in a carry-on?

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. One, two, buckle my shoe—and keep it buckled!

—> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoVkSYV2-60

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=12924

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #195 (6/28/2025): Zohran Mamdani

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Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #195 (6/28/2025): ZOHRAN MAMDANI

This Rabbinical Reflection first aired June 28, 2025 on the Dave’s Gone By video podcast.

Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflections are heard on the long-running Dave’s Gone By radio/video podcast program (davesgoneby.com) and then archived as text and audio on the Rebbe’s blog, Shalomdammit.com, where a transcript of this Reflection may be read.

Rabbi Sol is also the creator of the stage show, “Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon,” which played in NYC in Nov. 2011 and Aug. 2012.

Dave’s Gone By #980 (3/15/2025): THE IDES HAVE IT

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Here is the 980th episode of the long-running radio show/video podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook, Saturday morning, March 15, 2025.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #191 (Mahmoud Khalil), Greeley Times; Bunion Watch; Dave’s Big Dictionary (stratagem); StoryTime (Farmer White’s Best Friend); Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Bristol).

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce: big duck, pie, Chipotle, Baylen’s tics
00:58:30 GREELEY TIMES
01:18:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN w/ Joyce: rest-stop frogs
01:28:00 STORYTIME: Farmer White’s Best Friend
01:41:00 BUNION WATCH: Pringles!
01:46:30 DAVE’S BIG DICTIONARY: stratagem
01:58:30 DAVE GOES OFF: The Trumpet of the Swan
02:11:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #191: Mahmoud Khalil
02:20:00 Friends of the Daverhood
02:29:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED: Bristol, CO
02:33:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #192: (3/15/2025): Mahmoud Khalil

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Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #192 (3/15/2025): MAHMOUD KHALIL

This Rabbinical Reflection first aired March 15, 2025 the Dave’s Gone By video podcast.

Rabbi Sol is also the creator of the stage show, “Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon,” which played in NYC in Nov. 2011 and Aug. 2012.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #191 (2/8/2025): Gazaland?

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Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #191 (2/8/2025): GAZALAND?

This Rabbinical Reflection first aired Feb. 8, 2025 the Dave’s Gone By video podcast.

Rabbi Sol is also the creator of the stage show, “Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon,” which played in NYC in Nov. 2011 and Aug. 2012.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #188 (6/22/2024): THE NEW ARISTOCRATS JOKE

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #188 (6/22/2024): The New Aristocrats Joke

airs June 22, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By.

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for late June 2024.

Just like new plots for movies, there’s really no such thing as a “new” joke, just old jokes packaged in a different way. For example: Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because he was shopping at Kohl’s, and it was all they had — plus it was on clearance. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he heard all these people telling jokes about him and he got curious.

Old Manischewitz: new bottles. So here’s a naughty little joke called “The Aristocrats” that’s been around for decades. Gilbert Gottfried made it famous, and they even did a documentary about it. But I doubt you’ve heard my version.

A guy goes into a talent agent’s office, and he says, “Buddy, have I got an act for you!”

And the agent says, “Don’t waste your time. Novelty is dead. Nobody watches “Got Talent” anymore. I’m sorry, but — ”

“No, no, no,” says the guy. “This is huge. My family, my friends, strangers — it’s spectacular!”

“You’re wasting your time,” says the agent. “I’m not interested.”

“You will be!” says the guy. “Just gimme a chance. Please!”

The agent sighs and says, “All right, fine. Show me what you got.”

“Thank you!” says the guy. “It’s incredible, I promise!”

So the guy claps his hands, and shouts, “Allahu Akbar.” Suddenly thousands of Arabs appear. He blows a whistle, and the Arabs start attacking Israel. They’re firing rockets, they’re launching missiles, they’re hurling bombs and grenades.

Meanwhile, one group of Arabs go to an Israeli kibbutz where they’re having a music festival. And the Arabs start mowing down Jews with machine guns and rifles. They’re killing women, they’re hacking up children, dogs, pets, birds. And they’re shooting the men and then defiling the corpses and cutting off heads and pissing down the necks. Another group is taking hostages. And they’re torturing them, punching and kicking and stabbing and dragging and frogmarching them into tunnels.

And the women hostages are getting raped. Oh, they’re fucking these women with gun barrels and fists and korans. And they’re fucking the child hostages, too. They’re using dead kids as dildos to ass-fuck the live ones. So there’s blood and cum and baby teeth spraying every which way.

Meanwhile, the living hostages are dragged into daycares and hospitals and elementary schools, where the hidden Arabs are firing rockets and explosives to kill more Jews. This while thousands of other Arabs are butchering and killing and shitting on synagogues and smearing themselves with IDF soldier blood.

“But wait, there’s more!” says the guy to the talent agent. “That’s when all these college students come out and they run on campus with tents and banners and costumes. And they’re all screaming, `Death to Israel’ and `Free Gaza’ and `Stop the Palestinian Genocide’ while dancing around and crying and fucking each other even though they haven’t bathed in a month. And some of them break into hundred-year-old buildings and smash windows, trash furniture, crap on books. And then campus presidents come over, and they just watch. They don’t do anything; they just stand there like a 19th century French tableaux.”

But meanwhile the hostages are still dying in the tunnels, the Arabs are slaughtering every Jew in sight, the students are blocking highways, vandalizing Jewish homes, and jumping on subways to threaten anyone who looks like a kike. That’s when all these other countries around the world come in and start sanctioning Israel and banning Israelis from having passports. And the left-wing media applauds this and weeps for the refugees whose vote for a terrorist government started all this shit in the first place.

And meanwhile the terrorists murder and torture and rape and kill and kill and kill and kill in a ritual orgy of sadism, savagery, and Islamic frenzy.

With that, the guy in the office blows his whistle and says, “Well, what do you think?”

The talent agent sits for a minute and finally says, “Wow, that’s quite an act. By the way, what do you call yourselves?”

The college students all start cheering as the guy straightens himself up, Jewish blood still dripping from his sleeves, and says, “Hamas!”

Funny joke, ha? This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #186 (6/8/2024): Maldives n’ Mexico

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #186 (6/8/2024): Maldives n’ Mexico

airs June 8, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube video:

I am mmmmarveling at the news this week involving two countries with mmmmarkedly different responses to the mmmmadness in the Mmmmiddle East. I am talking about the Maldives and Mexico. One of them is meretricious, the other marvelous.

So as the patient says to the doctor: “Bad news first.” The Maldives. It even has “mal,” a prefix meaning “bad,” in its own name. What are the Maldives? They’re a teeny Republic in South Asia, about 115 square miles of land with the rest in the Indian Ocean. And considering all the things Indians do in the ocean, it’s best not to drink the water. Or visit the Maldives.

Not that you could visit the Maldives right now if you were an Israeli. President Mohamed Muizzu — who belongs in a zoo — has banned anyone with an Israeli passport from entering the country, this in response to the war in Gaza. Why any Jew would visit this place in the first place is a puzzlement. Maldives is a country so Muslim that the practice of any other religion is forbidden by law. This is also a land that not only prohibits homosexuality but reprimands anybody kissing or even holding hands in public. So, basically, if you wonder what the Bahamas or Aruba would be like if they took away the fun and relaxation and replaced it with totalitarian jihad, you’ve got the Maldives.

In 2023 about 5,000 Jews visited the various Maldive islands. Maybe they were Orthodox and appreciated the modest-clothing rules and pork-free eating. Maybe they just wanted to watch other Semites inflict suffering on themselves for once instead of being tormented by others. Even prior to this ban, only 500 Yids Maldived themselves this year, and one hopes that goyim, in solidarity with Israel, will put Maldives on their “fuck-it” list. But hey, there’s sand and palm trees and, thanks to climate change, more and more and more water. It’s an Arcadia—and a perfect spot to relocate a few thousand displaced Palestinians! What? Dr. Muizzu? Not returning their calls? Well, at least you support them in theory.

But what gives me joy in reality is the result of a Presidential election held this week in Mexico. Replacing current honcho Andrés Manuel López Obrador is someone with a shorter name, thank God, but also a highly promising name. Winning a landslide victory is Mexico’s first female leader and first Jewish leader: Claudia Sheinbaum! I’m not kidding — Claudia Sheinbaum! Her heritage is a mix of Ashkenazic Lithuanian and Sephardic Bulgarian, and she’s a scientist with a PhD—a Jewish doctor will be running Mexico!

They should get her to deal with climate change in the Maldives because she’s an expert—she was part of a Nobel Prize-winning UN think tank on the topic—and she’s pro-choice, pro LGBT, big on mass transit and bicycle paths—yeah, she’s kind of a lefty. And a landsman.

The cheeriest aspect of this political event is that despite Jews being despised seemingly everywhere in the world, Mexicans looked beyond that and picked a Shein-a maidel! She was the outgoing president’s choice, and because the peso has been in decent shape, and because the drug cartels have been killing only every third tourist, voters are giving Sheiny the sheeny a shot.

Please let us support her by purchasing all things Mexican: jumping beans, refried beans, bootleg t-shirts of Mr. Bean. Also, spend your vacation dollars South of the Border. And I don’t mean getting a pubic wax, I mean Guadalajara, Cancun, Oaxaca, Acapulco, and lest we forget, charming Ciudad Nezahualcóyotl.

Oh, my friends, we are forever asking: Is it good for the Jews? If Judaism has taught us anything, it’s that things can change in a blink. But right now: viva México! And Maldives? ¡Vete a la mierda!

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. ¡Arriba!

—> https://shalomdammit.wordpress.com/2024/06/05/rabbi-sol-solomons-rabbinical-reflection-186-6-8-2024-maldives-n-mexico-lefkowitz/

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=83337

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #184 (4/27/2024): A Passover Prayer

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #184 (4/27/2024): A Passover Prayer

airs April 27, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube video:

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for these last few days of Passover 2024.

A zissen Pesach my friends, and I hope you are having a fun holiday, with maximal contemplation and minimal constipation. Actually, this year is less likely to afflictus with intestinal binding than gastric reflux: we want to throw up at everything around us.

That’s why I’ve written this little prayer that you can append to your Haggadahs this Passover. It’s an appeal to God to get off his lazy tuchas and help us, just as he did in Egypt. He doesn’t have to show himself as a burning bush; he could set Ilhan Omar’s public hair on fire: same thing.

Anyway, here is a Prayer for late Pesach:

Blessed art thou, Oh Lord, our God. King of the Universe. (Or Queen, He can be gender-ridiculous). Blessed be He who sanctifies us with a holiday that deprives us of bread yet consoles us with Joyva Ring Jells; where we are scourged by horse radish, soothed by charoses, and confused by putting them together; and where we learn morality by letting a child hide the Afikoman and then rewarding him for thievery and blackmail.

Dear God, in these times of woe, when the land of Israel rages and Jew-haters have slithered from their cages, we implore thee to restore righteousness in the world. To vanquish our foes, as you did the Amalekites and the Canaanites, and sometimes the Monday nites. Oh Lord, protect the tiny nation of Eretz Yisroel and smite our enemies. For example:

May Hamas fighters see their tunnels turn to caskets, their caskets turned to dust, and their dust hoovered up by your ugliest cleaning lady.

May you lift the Palestinians up, up, up out of Israel and deposit them in a galaxy far, far away. Or at least Kuwait.

May Iraq get so fed up with Iran for being only one letter different, that the two blow each other to bits, which will be especially amusing to Jews named “Ira.”

May the United Nations vote to sanction itself out of existence and have to relinquish its New York headquarters to a Judaica superstore.

May every Western woman who supports the Arab world actually have to live, as a woman, in the Arab world.

May the marching students of Columbia and New York Universities be boiled in acid and then, ironically, fail their chemistry exams.

May the idiots posting anti-Zionist misinformation on TikTok be forced to use Dos dial-up just to get WiFi.

May the members of “Queers for Palestine” be bent over and their assholes stuffed with razor wire. And AIDS.

May every troglodyte who scrawls “Death to Israel” in graffiti on a public edifice be given a 1972 station wagon and forced to circle the building eternally looking for parking.

May every Arab who danced a jig on October 7th have their legs hacked off and fed to starving woodchucks, and may those marmots come back while the cripples are sleeping and vomit in their mouths.

May every Jew who betrays Israel in favor of “Palestine” be forced to eat matzoh made of ground glass and soaked in rat poison. In thy mercy.

And may whoever becomes President of the United States live four more years — and that’s a stretch right there — to see Israel triumph, her children multiply, her enemies divide and die, and her friends figure out a way to make even a bacon cheeseburger Kosher for Passover.

V’yimeru, Amen.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

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