Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #004 (8/30/2014): NOSE

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The 4th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired Aug. 30, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

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4.
Years ago, Neil Young visits a tattoo and piercing shop. The girl shows him a case of wearable jewelry. “Wow, those are nice,” he says, pointing to a pair of studs. “I could put one in each ear.”

“No, you can’t do that,” she replies.

“Oh, well, what about this thing?” he says, pointing to an ivory bar. “I could put that in my cheek.”

“No, Mr. Young, that wouldn’t be appropriate, either.”

“Man, this is tough,” Neil Young says. “Okay, how about this ring? It could go on the side of my lip.”

“Absolutely not,” says the girl.

Exasperated, Neil Young throws up his hands. “Miss, you’ve got all this jewelry. You tell me I can’t put it in my ears, my cheek, my lip . . .  Why the heck not?”

“Because, Mr. Young,” she replies, “Everybody Knows This is Nose-Wear.”