January 2011 – Dave's Gone By

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/29/2011): ROSS BROWN

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews television writer Ross Brown

Topics include: television, scriptwriting

Segment originally aired Jan. 29, 2011 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

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More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #341 (1/29/2011): BYTE ME

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Here is the 341st episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Jan. 29, 2011. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: Ross Brown

Featuring: Dave chats with TV writer Ross Brown (“The Cosby Show,” “Byte-Sized Television”). Also: A musical farewell to Jack LaLanne, Bob Dylan: “Sooner & Later,” and Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection on Taco Bell.

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:10:00 DAVE SAYS BYE to Jack LaLanne
00:18:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Fitness
01:04:00 GUEST: Ross Brown
02:03:30 Sponsors
02:11:30 Bob Dylan: “Sooner & Later”
02:37:00 Dave on Groundhog Day
02:42:00 Weather & Sponsors
02:47:30 Rabbinical Reflections with Rabbi Sol Solomon #3: Taco Bell
02:59:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 29, 2011 Playlist: “Hand Me Down My Jogging Shoes” (00:18:30; Tom Paxton). “Running to Stand Still” (00:21:00; U2). “The Hardy Boys at the Y” (00:25:30; aka “The Untitled”; Loudon Wainwright III; 00:25:30). “Face Exercises” (00:30:30; Jack LaLanne). “Jumping Jack Flash” (00:35:00; The Rolling Stones). “Workout Buddies” (University; 00:38:30), “You’re So Physical” (Adam Ant; 00:41:30), “Let’s Get Physical” (Olivia Newton John; 00:46:00), “Chicken Fat” (Robert Preston; 00:57:00). “TVC 15” (01:59:00; David Bowie). “Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window?” (02:12:00), “Where Are You Tonight? (Journey Through Dark Heat”) (02:15:00), “Not Dark Yet” (02:21:30), “Dark Eyes” (02:28:00), “Winterlude” (02:33:00) & “Winter Wonderland” (02:35:00) (Bob Dylan), “Regyptian Strut” (02:54:30; Frank Zappa).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #3 (1/29/2011): Taco Bell

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #3 (1/29/2011): Taco Bell

Aired January 29, 2011 on Dave’s Gone By. YouTube: https://youtu.be/7PpPBBQCz-8

Shalom Dammit, this is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 30th, 2011.

In 1984, an adorable old biddy named Clara Peller took the nation by storm when she asked, “Where’s the beef? Where’s the beef?”

At the time, she was peeking under hamburger buns, looking for a sandwich as delicious and meaty as what she got at Wendy’s. Other fast-food chains, the commercial was saying, were stingy with the steer and padding their patties with fillers and fixin’s.

Last week, a new question was asked – this time of Taco Bell. Instead of “Where’s the beef,” the new question is, “What in God’s name is the scheiss you’re stuffing in a taco?” It’s a subtly different question, but an important one, because a group of lawyers is now suing Taco Bell. Why?

According to the USDA, to call something beef, it has to be at least 70 percent meat, and the rest can be fat. If it’s only 50 percent meat and 50 percent fat, it’s filler. Or Seth Rogen.

To be called even a beef product, it has to contain at least 40 percent actual meat.

The lawyers suing Taco Bell say that the Mexican-food chain uses a beef-like mixture that is only 35 percent meat. The other 65 percent is…..not.

Not that all the extra ingredients are bad – there’s soybeans, oats, wheat, fiberglass insulation – but if you, the consumer, are ordering beef, you should be guaranteed that at least two thirds of what’s going in your tummy is the ground-up remains of a murdered cow.

Taco Bell has denied filling its tacos with filler. They say the attorneys are simply underestimating their secret mix of beef, spices, beef helper, beef helpless, vermin excrement and marginally beef-related objects.

Now you may ask, Rabbi, why are you weighing in on this controversy? Aren’t you Kosher?

No. I enjoy dipping a shrimp-flavored ham sandwich into a glass of milk as much as the next guy. Probably more. But even if I were as Kosher as I am irritating, would I not feel an obligation to protect the stomachs and anuses of my fellow man?

Let us not pre-judge too harshly. Who among us has ventured into Taco Bell expecting a gourmet meal? In fact, who among us hasn’t been tempted to peek inside a Taco Bell burrito and then stopped ourselves, thinking, “nooo…sometimes it’s best not to know.”

And let’s be honest: even the highest-quality Mexican food can cause a person to crap like a dying gorilla.

I, myself, have been to Mexican take-out places where if you order more than 15 dollars, they throw in an extra roll of toilet paper.

My God, you know why they use re-fried beans? They couldn’t fry them right in the first place.

And there’s a reason the initials of Taco Bell’s Mexi-Melt are M&M. They melt in your mouth AND in your pants.

Now, I enjoy diarrhea as much as the next guy. Probably more. And there’s something very organic about a kind of food that looks exactly the same coming out as it did going in.

But we must demand honesty of our merchants. If you fill your quesadilla from a case o’ sawdust, we have a right to know.

And so, only time – and the courts – will show whether Taco Bell can stop this unfortunate smear campaign, or if this campaign can stop unfortunate smears.

But my friends, this lesson extends to our personal lives and interactions. How often do we give only 35 percent of ourselves, when we could give 50, or 90, or the much-quoted but mathematically disturbing 110?

Do we really listen when we have a conversation? At work, do we drudge away while keeping one eye on the clock, one eye on youtube, and one eye on the window? When being intimate with our spouse, do we think about her, or about that hot little blonde girl with the low-rise jeans and the overbite at the Rite Aid? You know, the one who always wears those pink sweaters and lots of rings and has those three piercings in the left ear – no, no, the right ear. Oh, yes.

But shame on you…for neglecting your wife! Why are you giving her filler, when you should be giving her your meat? And wife, are you being fully honest about what has filled your taco?

And so I say unto Taco Bell and to you, my dear listeners, you can either improve your fare, or, if you keep dishing out the same drek, at least be honest about it. If you do, I will keep patronizing Taco Bell, just as I did today for lunch. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go drop a chalupa.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection by Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. ¡Olé!

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=38047

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/22/2011): VICKI LAWRENCE

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews actress-comedienne, Vicki Lawrence

Topics include: comedy, The Carol Burnett Show.

Segment originally aired Jan. 22, 2011 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #340 (1/22/2011): VICKTORY

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Here is the 340th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Jan. 22, 2011. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Guest: actress Vicki Lawrence

Featuring: Dave chats with actress Vicki Lawrence (“The Carol Burnett Show,” “Mama’s Family”). Also: Dave Goes Off on Keith Olbermann’s exit and Dave Says Bye to Romulus Linney and Don Kirshner. Plus: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection on Regis Philbin, and Bob Dylan: “Sooner & Later.”

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:07:00 DAVE on Vicki Lawrence
00:23:00 DAVE SAYS BYE to Don Kirshner
00:40:30 DAVE SAYS BYE to Romulus Linney
00:47:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Dave’s Faves
01:08:00 GUEST: Vicki Lawrence
01:59:00 Sponsors
02:04:00 Bob Dylan: “Sooner & Later” (Dave’s Faves)
02:37:00 Contest
02:40:00 Rabbinical Reflections with Rabbi Sol Solomon: “Regis”
02:47:00 Dave’s Birthday, Weather, Sponsors & Friends
02:58:00 DAVE GOES OFF on Keith Olbermann’s exit
03:06:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 22, 2011 Playlist: “Homeless Mama” Skit (00:15:00), “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia” (01:05:00) & “Your Lies” (01:52:30; Vicki Lawrence), “Pretty Betty” (25:30:00; Bobby Darin), “Stairway to Heaven” (00:28:00; Neil Sedaka), “Take a Giant Step” (00:30:30) & “I’m a Believer” (00:36:30; The Monkees); “Sweet Caroline” (00:33:00; Neil Diamond); “Coming Up Close” (00:47:30; Til Tuesday); “On the Way Home” (00:52:00; Neil Young); “Take Me Home” (00:55:00; Tom Waits). “I Dig Rock n’ Roll Music” (01:49:00; Vicki Lawrence & Carol Burnett). “Tell Me, Momma” (live 1966, 02:05:30), “Positively 4th Street” (02:10:00), “One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later)” (02:14:00), “Seven Days” (live, 02:19:00), “From a Buick 6” (02:23:00), “Mostly Likely You Go Your Way (and I’ll Go Mine)” (live, 02:26:00), “Just Like a Woman” (02:29:00) & “Buckets of Rain” (03:07:30) (Bob Dylan). “Birthday Blues” (02:45:30; Bert Jansch).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #2 (1/23/2011): Regis Philbin

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #2 (1/23/2011): Regis Philbin

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aired January 22, 2011 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWUWkjdRhb0

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 23, 2011.

On Tuesday, television personality Regis Philbin announced that he would leave his long-running morning talk show, “Regis and Kelly,” at the end of the summer.

Mornings without Regis. Can you imagine it? That’s like breakfast without fiber. You can do it, but the rest of the day, you regret it.

Let’s give the man his props. He started in TV in the 1950s, and got his first national exposure playing second fiddle to Joey Bishop. As television goes, that’s just slightly higher than the guy who cleans coffee filters in the green room.

But Regis stuck with it. He went through show after show, failure after failure, until finally, he found his niche. I know when a proctologist found my niche, it hurt like hell.

In 1985, Philbin was muddling through a New York morning talk show when they paired him with Kathie Lee Gifford. They fit together like blintzes and sour cream, like onions and chopped liver, like mayonnaise and whatever it is goyim put mayonnaise on.

And when Kathie Lee left, everybody worried – “Oh! What will happen to the show? Will Regis be able to find that chemistry with another annoying female? But along came Kelly Ripa, and not only was she hot like pastrami, she was peppery, like cole slaw.

I really need to stop writing these sermons when I’m hungry.

They made a nice team; Kelly’s verve and muscular arms modulating his wry wit and creeping senility.

But all good things come to an end, and 79-year-old Regis Philbin has decided it’s time to wrap up the microphone and drain his morning cup of Metamucil.

Speculation has already begun as to what Ripa will do when Regis goes. Names are being floated for the co-host gig: Neil Patrick Harris, Anderson Cooper, and even some heterosexuals.

If I may be so bold – and if there’s one thing people know about me, it’s that I may be so bold – might I suggest that I, Rabbi Sol Solomon, be the new co-host of the program. “Rebbe and Ripa.” “Sol and the Skank.” “Kelly and the Ki – ” well, anyway.

But think of it. I have so much to offer a morning chat show. I’m lively, quirky.. I have great legs. I can banter with Kelly about sports teams, like, “Ooh, how about those Colorado Broncos. Are there any Jews on that team?”

I can do zany but informative cooking segments. Like bringing in a live cow and slaughtering it to demonstrate kashrut.

And when there are guests, I can ask pointed questions like, “So, Edie Falco. In the fifth chapter of Leviticus, HaShem warns against touching the carcass of an unclean beast. With that in mind, what was it like kissing James Gandolfini?”

I can even do the trivia questions, you know, with the wheel. Like this: “On yesterday’s show, we asked Justin Bieber whether he’s circumcised. Was his answer yes, no, or yes but badly?”

I would be the best thing to happen to morning television since J. Fred Muggs, and I certainly smell better. (sniffs) Well, maybe not, but, hey, we could be “Kelly and Smelly!”

My dear listeners, I belong on network television. Like car crashes and earthshaking tragedies. I would be a breath of fresh air (sniffs) well, if you don’t stand too close.

Please write to your local ABC affiliates and tell them, “You Want the Rabbi! You Want the Rabbi!” Gelman’s Jewish, he’ll understand. And if he doesn’t, there’s got to be one of our people controlling the media who will.

So Kelly, if you’re listening: forget the husband, forget the rotating co-hosts; go for the angry Jew. Your ratings will be like Mel Gibson’s wife: they won’t know what hit them, or why.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection by Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. See you on the boob tube!

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=38051

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #1 (1/16/2011): Martin Luther King

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #1 (1/16/2011): Martin Luther King

click above to listen (audio file only)

aired January 15, 2011 on Dave’s Gone By. https://davesgoneby.net/?p=38056. Youtube: https://youtu.be/3H28EMHz_9k

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 16th, 2011.

As you may have heard in the news, a radio host in Colorado has gone on the air trashing Martin Luther King, Jr. Actually, the host is reading a letter about King, written by someone else. But he’s reading it over and over and over for weeks leading up to Martin Luther King Day.

The letter calls the slain civil rights leader a plastic god, a Communist, and a sexual degenerate.

Well, who of us isn’t?

I have a plastic hip, I wish we all had better healthcare, and there are things I would do to Natalie Portman that should be illegal in 37 states. In fact, they already are illegal in the other 12. Wait, hold it… (pause) 13, sorry.

Anyhoo, this broadcaster on something called “Pirate Radio,” a.k.a. the KKK, says MLK had feet of clay. In other words, why do we revere and respect this man if he was such a shady character in his private life?

To this I say again: name a leader who isn’t?

George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, the slave owners? FDR, who had a mistress behind – and in front of – Eleanor’s back? Golda Meir, the slut? God bless her. George W. Bush, whose college years made “Animal House” look like the Sistine Chapel? Ronald Reagan, who sold secret weapons to the nice people who became Al Qaeda?

And what of our entertainers? The people we look to for joy and spiritual pleasure? Mel Gibson, whose bloodstream could intoxicate Ireland? David Letterman, who calls his assistants interns because he knows them internally? Rush Limbaugh – whose medicine cabinet could cure Gabrielle Giffords? Humphrey Bogart, Cary Grant, Jack Nicholson, Richard Burton, Steve McQueen, Cary Grant, John Lennon, Bruce Springsteen, Woody Allen, Donald Trump – all cheated on their little hausfraus at home.

Nobody’s a saint in this world – not even the saints.

So let’s go back to this numbskull at the radio station, trying to say how we shouldn’t honor the achievements of Martin Luther King… because he was a bad guy. Go look on the website of the Pirate Radio station, and see the artists they play. They play oldies, nostalgia, music you hear in bad barbershops. Gåreat. And they’re proud of it.

Their heroes… like Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Judy Garland, Tony Bennett, Glen Campbell, Waylon Jennings, Sammy Davis Jr., Hank Williams. Drugs? You could run a hospital for a year on what these people had for breakfast!

Rosemary Clooney was out of her mind; Bing Crosby was smacking his kids… But I don’t hear these people being run down. I don’t hear that radio station saying, “We’re gonna play a song by Frank Sinatra. He was an insulting, abusive bully who owed his career to the Mafia. And now, let’s hear “Young at Heart.”

My dear listeners, nobody is perfect. Especially, not you. And if we look at Martin Luther King, we should see the good, the bad, the ugly and the magnificent.

To push an agenda that urinates on this man’s legacy, under the guise of telling some kind of whole truth, is a shameless – and shameful – obfuscation.

And I don’t even know what obfuscation means, but it really sounds good, doesn’t it?

So think what you want about Martin Luther King the man, but honor Martin Luther King the poetic visionary, and most importantly –

Enjoy Martin Luther King Day the holiday! It’s a day off work! What the hell are you trying to rock the boat for? Morons!

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection by Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Shalom from every one of me to every one of you.

—> https://youtu.be/3H28EMHz_9k

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=38056

–> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2sG

Dave’s Gone By #339 (1/15/2011): BELL TOWERS

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Here is the 339th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Jan. 15, 2011. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: author Joel Samberg (“Grandpa Had a Long One”) & press agent Jonathan Slaff.

Featuring: Dave chats with author Joel Samberg, the grandson of late novelty-song king, Benny Bell. Also: A talk with public relations expert Jonathan Slaff about his years working with Ellen Stewart of La MaMa E.T.C. Plus: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflections on MLK, and Bob Dylan: “Sooner & Later.”

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:16:00 GUEST: Jonathan Slaff
00:44:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Margaret Whiting & Broadcast
00:56:00 GUEST: Joel Samberg
02:06:00 Sponsors
02:14:00 Bob Dylan: “Sooner & Later”
02:38:00 Contest & Sponsors
02:46:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION (MLK)
02:56:00 Weather
02:59:00 DAVE SAYS BYE: Margaret Whiting
03:00:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 15, 2011 Playlist: “She’s Still Got It” (00:05:30), “Noses Run in My Family” (00:55:30), “Go Take a Ship for Yourself” (01:06:30), “Pincus the Peddler” (01:32:30) & “Everybody Wants My Fanny” (02:00:30) (Benny Bell), “Shaving Cream” Paul Wynn (arr. Benny Bell) (01:23:00). “Come On, Let’s Go” (00:12:30) & “Paper Cuts” (00:47:00; Broadcast). “Time After Time” (00:44:00), “My Foolish Heart” (00:50:30) & “It’s Great to Be Alive” (Margaret Whiting; 03:01:00). “Mama, You Been On My Mind” (02:14:30), “Tough Mama” (02:17:30), “See That My Grave is Kept Clean” (02:21:30), “Belle Isle” (02:24:00), “Moonlight” (02:27:00), “Silver Bells” (02:30:00) & “Ring Them Bells” (02:32:30) (Bob Dylan). “A Tribute to a King” (02:51:30; William Bell).