January 2012 – Dave's Gone By

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #36 (1/28/2012): Jewish GPS

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #36 (1/28/2012): Jewish GPS

Aired Jan. 28, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube Clip: Jewish GPS

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 28th, 2012.

Now, I don’t ordinarily attach my name to a company or product . . . because no one has asked me before, but I am proud to say that has changed. The Garminsky Corporation has asked me to be the spokesman for their newest release – the Jewish G.P.S. Or, as we call it, Gimel, Peh, Shin.

Not only am I the willing shill for this fine, location-tracking device, but they have asked me to contribute my voice and personality to the recorded system. It’s still in prototype mode, but the idea is to give drivers searching for a location a haimische Jewish experience on the way towards their destination.

For example. I’m gonna switch it on. Takes a minute to boot up. Okay, let’s make believe we’re driving to the kosher butcher, about five miles away. Or, as the goyim say, “kilometers.” I just push the button, and the Gimel Peh Shin tells me where to go.

“Please drive to highlighted route. Dammit.”

Okay, let’s pretend I’m pulling out of the driveway…

“Please drive to highlighted route. Dammit.”

All, right, all right, I’m driving.

“Good. If you look to the left of your computer screen, that means you’re not looking at the road, so in .1 mile, you will crash into a utility pole. Heh heh heh heh, just kidding. But keep your eye on the street, goddammit, and get ready to turn in .2 miles.”

Okay, I can do that. Moving on . . .

“Turn left. No – wait! Turn right. Sorry, my fault. now you have to go around.”

I told you it was a prototype. Okay, I’m going around the block now.

“In .1 mile, turn left. The other left. Good. In 300 feet, turn right. Or don’t turn right, do what you want, it’s your funeral.”

Now, we’re on the road to the butcher, and you can calibrate the Gimel Peh Shin to give you extra information. Like:

“On your left, you’ll find Mrs. Schimmelbaum taking her daily stroll.

Notice the grin on her face because she’s having a torrid affair with her osteopath.”

Okay, sometimes there’s more information than you need. But other times, the device can be a godsend:

“Warning! Black neighborhood in .5 miles! Roll up all windows and cover your
laptop with a schmattah.”

The Jewish G.P.S. can also be programmed to avoid highways, tolls and outlet clothing stores like Aphmau Merch Shop, making it a must-have for every Jewish husband. You can also program the device to provide weather updates, baseball scores, pop lyrics and the entire Mincha synagogue service.

“Arriving at destination parking lot. Enter store and make sure the bastard doesn’t cheat you on the cold cuts.”

My friends, the Gimel Peh Shin is the latest advancement in driving technology. And not to brag, but the Jewish G.P.S. is so much better than the Greek one, which forces you to back in everywhere, and the Polish one, which just smashes you into your garage.

Coming soon to a store near you, the Jewish G.P.S. It takes you where it thinks you should go.

“Please drive to highlighted route. Really? McDonald’s? Cheeseburgers? No,
I’m taking you to Kosher King. Now shut up and drive.”

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29446

Dave’s Gone By #374 (1/28/2012): WOULD GILLETTE US IN?

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Here is the 374th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Jan. 28, 2012. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave chats with actress Anita Gillette and special-effects coordinator Steve Wolf. Also: Inside Broadway, Saturday Segue (Dick Kniss), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (Shadows), and Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection (Jewish GPS).

host: Dave Lefkowitz
guests: actress Anita Gillette & special-effects wiz Steve Wolf

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:13:00 DAVE SAYS BYE – Dick Kniss
00:33:30 GUEST: Anita Gillette
01:27:00 Sponsors
01:37:30 GUEST: Steve Wolf
02:18:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (shadows)
02:38:00 Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection – Jewish GPS
02:42:00 INSIDE BROADWAY – news & Nicol
02:58:00 Friends
03:02:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 28, 2012 Playlist: “Whatshername” (00:16:30), “On a Desert Island” (00:25:00) & “The Song is Love” (00:27:00; Peter Paul & Mary). “Sunshine On My Shoulders” (00:20:00; John Denver). “The Secret service” (00:31:00) & “I’m Gonna Get Him” (01:24:30; Mr. President, Original Broadway cast). “Big Science” (Laurie Anderson; 01:34:30). “She Blinded Me With Science” (Thomas Dolby; 02:12:30). “New Morning” (02:19:00), “New Pony” (02:22:30), “This Dream of You” (02:27:00) & “Eternal Circle” (Bob Dylan; 02:33:00). “Away From You” (Rex, original Broadway cast).

(pictured: Anita Gillette, Steve Wolf and his book, Nicol Williamson & Dick Kniss.(/em>

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/28/2012): STEVE WOLF

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews stunt and special-effects coordinator Steve Wolf

Topics include: stunts, special effects, filmmaking.

Segment originally aired Jan. 28, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/28/2012): ANITA GILLETTE

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews actress Anita Gillette

Topics include: 30 Rock, Mr. President, television.

Segment originally aired Jan. 28, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #35 (1/22/2012): Gay Tel Aviv

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #35 (1 22/2012): Gay Tel Aviv

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 22nd, 2012.

It is rare for the traditionally downtrodden and fearful Jewish people to have a gay old time. But if they want an old gay time, guess where they should go? Not Christopher Street, not Miami, not Madrid – believe it or not the answer is Tel Aviv.

In a worldwide survey by GayCities.com, Tel Aviv, Israel, was voted the best gay travel destination of 2011. Unfortunately, 2011 is over, so…they kind of missed the boat on promoting it, but still – what a feather in the beret for Israel as a place of tolerance, empathy and, one imagines, musical theater.

Now, I’m sure not all Jews are thrilled about this. The Orthodox Rabbinate is probably wringing their beards over the moral destruction of the holy land whenever two men wanna hold hands and cross pukels. But the rest of us know: live and let live. Just like New York, Tel Aviv has a giant annual Pride Parade, where, just like New York, all the Jews on the sidewalk are too short and can’t see anything. 61 percent – higher than anywhere else in the world – 61 percent of the Israeli population supports gay marriage. As the joke goes, why should straight people be the only ones allowed to be miserable? Gay people even serve openly in the Israeli armed forces. This is not surprising, since a soldier never leaves his buddies’ behind.

But seriously, Israel takes a lot of lumps from Palestinian apologists, self-hating Jewish liberals, anti-Semites and people who look for any excuse to question why America supports Yisroel with money and military hardware. Here is your partial answer: Do you think Syria would make the gay cities list? How about Lebanon? Saudi Arabia? Iran? The so-called new Egypt?

Try being a homosexual in any one of these places and see where it gets you. I’ll tell you where it gets you: pummeled with stones and hanging from a tent with your shmeckel cut off. Granted, some homosexuals may enjoy this, but most would not. Most would prefer the freedom to be what they wanna be in Tel Aviv.

Now, I myself am not gay, but some of my best friends take it up the Hitler hole. And just as Israel itself is a sanctuary for Jews just in case, someday, nowhere else in the world will accept and protect them. Perhaps Tel Aviv can stand as that place for people of the GLBTQAFRZN13Y persuasion. And maybe Haifa will one day be a refuge for the retarded, and quadriplegics will romp in Ramat Gan, and stutterers will hold conventions in Petach Tikvah. Let Israel be the foreign legion: the place where good people with the odds against them can thrive and be winners.

May Tel Aviv stand as a lesson, a goal, a model of how life could be for all of us. Open, free, supportive, and decorated fabulously.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches.

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/21/2012): ESTHER BROWER

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews his aunt, Esther Brower

Topics include: Dave’s childhood.

Segment originally aired Jan. 21, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

All content (c)2012 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/21/2012): OZER TEITELBAUM

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews patent attorney and elementary school classmate Ozer Teitelbaum

Topics include: Bialik school, patent law, Hebrew school.

Segment originally aired Jan. 21, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/21/2012): GEORGE CHAKIRIS

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews actor and dancer George Chakiris

Topics include: West Side Story.

Segment originally aired Jan. 21, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #373 (1/21/2012): KIR PACKAGE

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Here is the 373rd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Jan. 21, 2012. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave chats with Oscar-winning actor George Chakiris. Also: Inside Broadway, Saturday Segue (Dave’s faves), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (Dave’s faves) and Dave celebrates his upcoming birthday by chatting with his aunt, Esther Brower, and his oldest friend, Ozer Teitelbaum. Plus: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection on gay Tel Aviv.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: actor George Chakiris, Ozer Teitelbaum, Esther Brower

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:14:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Dave’s Faves
00:31:00 GUEST: Ozer Teitelbaum
00:58:30 GUEST: George Chakiris
01:43:30 Sponsors
01:48:00 Inside Broadway: news
01:58:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later: Dave’s Faves
02:20:30 Weather
02:22:00 GUEST: Esther Brower
00:53:30 Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #35: Gay Tel Aviv
03:01:30 Friends
03:05:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 21, 2012 Playlist: “Sway” (00:14:30; The Rolling Stones). “Scattered” (00:18:30; Neil Young). “Coming Up Close” (00:22:30; `Til Tuesday). “Old Friends” (00:54:30; Simon & Garfunkel). “What I Did for Love” (00:57:30; George Chakiris). “America” (01:36:30; “West Side Story,” film soundtrack). “In Search of Peter Pan” (01:52:00; Kate Bush). “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35” (01:59:30), “Seven Days” (02:04:00), “She’s Your Lover Now” (02:08:00) & “One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later) (02:14:00; Bob Dylan). “Families” (02:50:00; Lou Reed). “Willie and the Hand Jive” (02:58:00; Johnny Otis). “Don’t Cry” (03:08:30; Etta James).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #34 (1/15/2012): Mitt Romney

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #34 (1/15/2012): Mitt Romney

click above to listen (audio file)

aired Jan. 14, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bei9IbNpAI

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 15th, 2012.

At the time of this writing, Mitt Romney is the front-runner in the race for Republican Presidential candidate. This is exciting because three weeks ago, Newt Gingrich was the front-runner in the race. Three weeks before that it was Rick Perry, and before that it was Herman Cain the schvartze, before that it was Michelle Bachmann the cuckoo-head, and before that I think it was Danny Bonaduce, and Ted Bundy, and Jayne Mansfield, and the guy who punches himself in the head outside Caribou Coffee. I think Spongebob was in there somewhere, too. And who knows, in three more weeks, we might have another non-Rom in the red-state sweepstakes.

Not that I’m complaining. The longer Republicans can’t figure out what they want, the less time they’ll have to mount a conservative, Christian-based attack on the White House. Not that I love Obama so much but gevalt! If this is the best the Republicans can do after four years, it makes you understand how they settled on the Bush family two decades ago. I wonder if Dick Cheney was sitting in a think tank going, “Okay, we can either have George and George Dubya or… – what? The Menendez Brothers? The Lohans? Does Charlie Manson have any kids?”

Seriously, in politics, what rises to the top is either debris, like Sarah Palin, or an oil slick, like Perry and Romney. It’s a shame, but if you float on the surface, you wash over those who dive deeper.

But here’s what I don’t get. In the Iowa Caucus held two weeks ago, Mitt Romney topped Rick Santorum by eight votes. That’s out of 60,000 votes cast between them. Less than 4,000 votes behind was Ron Paul. In other words, out of nearly a hundred thousand votes cast, less than 4000 votes separated Romney, Santorum and Paul. And yet, a day later, Mitt Romney was all but coronated as the runaway winner.

Now let me be clear: I’d be happy to see Rick Santorum’s bible thumping lead to his quick exodus, and I don’t trust Ron Paul, who never met an embryo he didn’t like or a homosexual he did. But how did a statistical tie and virtual threeway – and not the good kind of virtual threeway you see on Redtube – how did this dead heat immediately become a landslide win for mighty Mitt? Is it because the Republicans did not want to spend millions fighting a battle they figured Romney would eventually win anyway? Is it because everyone in both parties is shaking in their boots over Ron Paul, because like him or not, he’s the only real game changer? Or is it simply because Mitt Romney looks like the privileged son of Ronald Reagan and George Hamilton, and thinks like the privileged son of Ronald Reagan and Max Headroom?

Barring an economic collapse between now and November, Barack Obama has a strong shot at another four years. So maybe the real story of the GOP is, “look, we run Romney now, go easy on the war chest, so we can bring out the big guns in 2016.” Of course, by current Republican standards, the big gun could be Fred Phelps or Jack van Impe.

As a liberal, and as a middle-aged man jealous of anyone with a full head of hair, I can’t see voting for Romney. But if you’re not going to support him, please don’t support him for the right reasons. It bothers me when people say Romney is unelectable simply because he’s a Mormon. It’s like a dirty word; it’s like voodoo to some people. “Ooh, he must be crazy because he believes in a crazy religion.” As if Judaism and Christianity weren’t based on fairy tales and sanctimony. Not to mention sanctimonious fairy tales.

Look, if you’ve ever stayed in a Marriott or watched the BYU Cougars in the NCAA, you know that crazy does not mean incompetent. And as a Jew, I also feel a kinship with the Mormons. We both believe in rules written on giant tablets. We both wear amusing undergarments. (Mine happen to have yellow stains on the front, but that’s not religion, that’s prostatitis.) We both think there’s something to be said for having one god and many wives. And finally, we both believe that the United States of America is a magnificent and even blessed place. Or at least it was until the last gang of Republicans got through with it.

So if the 2012 G.O.P. candidate for president is, indeed, going to be Mitt Romney, I wish him a clean, fair, exciting and losing battle. Not that I wish him ill, but it’s the quickest path to his obvious true calling: future game-show host on Fox. Hey, if he were up against Santorum on CBN and Michelle Bachman on “Bridezillas” he’d get my vote. Just, not against Ron Paul on Public Access.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29457