The 21st Wretched Pun of Destiny aired Jan. 17, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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21.
A young female screenwriter lucks out and scores a meeting with the biggest producer in Hollywood. Her jealous colleagues don’t warn her, however, that he’s incredibly impatient and quite old-school sexist, and that she shouldn’t be surprised if he shows little interest in plot, character or dialogue but is mainly concerned with the tone and overall milieu of the story’s locations.
So the writer begins the pitch meeting by complimenting the producer on his many awards, but he cuts her off and says, “Skip all that, honey. Just get to the script.”
She starts reading the first page and the character list. “Skip that crap,” says the producer. “What’s it about?”
Flustered, the actress begins explaining the movie’s synopsis. But 20 seconds in, the producer is at her again. “Skip the plot, sweetheart. They’re all the same; you know that.”
“Well, what about the dialogue? The love story? The action sequences?”
“Boring,” says the producer. “Just tell me about the sense of place.”
“Really?” says the actress. “You want me to ignore everything but the mise-en-scene?”
“Exactly!” says the producer. Or, as he sings: “Skip, Skip, Skip to Milieu, My Darling.”