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Dave’s Gone By Song (8/19/2005): HELLHOLE SUBMARINE

SONG: Hellhole Submarine

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HELLHOLE SUBMARINE

(Note: Sung to the melody of Paul McCartney and John Lennon’s “Yellow Submarine”)

In the dacha where I was born
lived a man who sailed the sea
When I turned 14 years old
they gagged and bound and shanghaied me

So we sailed into the sun
Till we crashed into a reef
Now we sink beneath the waves
And we sing in pain and grief:
 We all die on a stupid submarine
stupid submarine
stupid submarine
We all die on this stupid submarine
stupid submarine
stupid submarine

All our friends from other ships
Won’t get close to us till it’s too late
While the whales and fish and sea
We completely contaminate

We all die on a stupid submarine
stupid submarine
stupid submarine
We all die on this stupid submarine
stupid submarine
stupid submarine

Oxygen is running out
and our food supply is far from clean
As the crew begins to pray:
(sounds of labored breathing)

We all die on a stupid submarine
stupid submarine
stupid submarine

So we blub inside the sub
which I wish I had never seen
We’re turning blue, we’re peeing green
in this hellhole submarine
(spoken) Submarine! (coughs)

We all die on this hellhole submarine
hellhole submarine
stupid submarine
Yes, we all die on a hellhole submarine
hellhole submarine
hellhole submarine
(spoken) Just the men!
We all die on this hellhole submarine
hellhole submarine…

********************************

NOTES & BACKSTORY:
[June 2023] This song was created for my radio show, Dave’s Gone By, as part of the recurring News Gone By segment, which poked fun at news and current events. Here’s how I introduced the song on its Aug. 11, 2005 debut. Note that the story is true, the song stuff, not so much:

“Harrowing news from Russia this week where a mini-submarine became trapped in metal debris at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. The sub got tangled in the wires of an underwater monitoring station, leaving only a few days’ supply of oxygen available to the crew—an eerie echo of the Kursk disaster. Russian authorities kept the accident secret the first day. Then they tried to rescue the sub themselves the next day. They accepted help from England and other nations only as time began running out. Rear Admiral Vladimir Pepelyayev told Russian reporters that the crew were keeping their spirits up as best they could: playing cards, telling stories. In fact, before they were miraculously rescued, they actually were able to transmit, by Morse Code, the words and music to a song one of the sailors wrote about the situation. I happen to have it here. In tribute to that brave and saved crew of the AS-28, I’m gonna sing it now. I think it shows their resilience, their spunk, and their hilarious misery.”

Dave’s Gone By #139 (8/11/2005): JOHN `N JIMI

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Here is the 139th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM radio Aug. 11, 2005. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: gay icon Peter Fitzgerald

Featuring: Dave goes Inside Broadway for the revue, Lennon. Plus: Dave’s songs, “99 Barrels of Oil” and “Hellhole Submarine,” the satirical News Gone By and Peter Fitzgerald on “Homo Hendrix.”

00:00:00 DAVE GOES IN
00:05:00 INSIDE BROADWAY – Lennon
00:12:00 NEWS GONE BY
00:17:00 SONG: “Hellhole Submarine” (Dave)
00:31:00 SONG: “99 Barrels of Oil” (Dave)
00:40:00 SKIT: “Homo Hendrix” w/ Peter Fitzgerald
00:51:00 DAVE GOES OUT

August 11, 2005 Playlist: “Hellhole Submarine” & “99 Barrels of Oil,” (Dave), “#9 Dream” & “Whatever Gets You Through the Night” (John Lennon), “Fire” & “Star Spangled Banner” (Jimi Hendrix).

Dave’s Gone By Skit (8/11/2005): HOMO HENDRIX

Gay icon Peter Fitzgerald weighs in an a biography of Jimi Hendrix that questions his sexuality

Segment originally aired Aug. 4, 2005, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #138 (8/4/2005): THAT’S QUITE AN ACT

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 138th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM radio, Aug. 4, 2005. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz

Featuring: Dave goes Inside Broadway, remembers Robert Wright and goes off on The Aristocrats. Plus: the satirical News Gone By.

00:00:00 DAVE GOES IN
00:03:00 INSIDE BROADWAY – Fall Casts
00:15:00 NEWS GONE BY
00:28:00 DAVE GOES OFF – The Aristocrats
00:41:00 DAVE REMEMBERS – Broadway composer Robert Wright
00:52:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Aug. 4, 2005 Playlist: “Strangers in Paradise” (Tony Bennett), “Finale/Sands of Time” (Kismet, original cast).

Dave’s Gone By #137 (7/28/2005): JULIVELY

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Here is the 137th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM, July 28, 2005. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz

Featuring: Dave goes Inside Broadway for Suzanne Somers’ solo, plus: the satirical News Gone By and the skit, So You Wanna Be a Terrorist?

00:00:00 DAVE GOES IN
00:07:00 INSIDE BROADWAY – Thunderburned
00:17:00 NEWS GONE BY
00:40:00 SKIT: “So You Wanna Be A Terrorist?”
00:52:00 DAVE GOES OUT

July 28, 2005 Playlist: Excerpts from “Desolation Row” (Chris Smither), “The Swimming Song” (Loudon Wainwright III), “My Walking Stick” (Leon Redbone), “Naked Man” (Randy Newman), “Nasehat Cinta” (Nasida Ria), “Kashmir” (Led Zeppelin).

Dave’s Gone By Skit (7/28/2005): SO YOU WANNA BE A TERRORIST?

A game show for budding enemies of mankind

Segment originally aired July 28, 2005, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #136 (7/21/2005): SPENCER FOR HIGHER

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 136th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM radio, July 21, 2005. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz
guest: musical-theater composer David Spencer (“The Musical Theater Writer’s Survival Guide”)

Featuring: Dave chats with musical-theater composer David Spencer. Plus: Dave gets trivial about MSUD.

00:00:00 DAVE GOES IN
00:08:00 GUEST: David Spencer
00:45:00 DAVE GETS TRIVIAL – MSUD
00:54:00 DAVE GOES OUT

July 21, 2005 Playlist: “You Can Always Find a Fable” & “Epilogue: He Could Always Find a Fable” (“The Fabulist”); “Friday at Four” (“A Class Act”).

Dave’s Gone By Interview (7/21/2005): DAVID SPENCER

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews musical-theater writer David Spencer

Topics include: theater, musicals.

Segment originally aired July 21, 2005, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

Dave’s Gone By Interview (7/14/2005): AMY COLEMAN & VALERIE SMALDONE

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews singer Amy Coleman and radio host Valerie Smaldone

Topics include: radio, fringe theater, “Spit it Out.”

Segment originally aired July 14, 2005, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #135 (7/14/2005): SPIT IT OUT

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 135th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM, July 14, 2005. Info: davesgoneby.com.

host: Dave Lefkowitz
guests: singer Amy Coleman & radio personality Valerie Smaldone

Featuring: Dave chats with actress Amy Coleman and radio personality Valerie Smaldone. Plus: Peter Fitzgerald in the skit, Logo.

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN
00:11:00 INSIDE BROADWAY – “Fringe”
00:21:00 GUESTS: Amy Coleman & Lite-FM’s Valerie Smaldone
00:41:00 SKIT: Peter Fitzgerald on “Logo”
00:53:00 DAVE GOES OUT

July 14, 2005 Playlist: no songs.

Valerie Smaldone and Amy Coleman

Amy Coleman

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