SONG: Stupid Pupil

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SONG: Stupid Pupil

(c)2024 David Lefkowitz

(sung to the tune of Neil Sedaka and Howard Greenfield’s “Stupid Cupid”)

Stupid Pupil you’re a real disgrace
You don’t contribute; you just take up space
You go to college on your parents’ dime
But you ain’t learnin’, you’re just wastin’ time.
Hey hey, brainless punk
Stupid Pupil, get ready to flunk

Can’t do your homework and you can’t think straight
Too busy watching TikTok while you masturbate
Sitting through classes with your earbuds in
Looking so dead they call your next of kin
Boo-hoo, throw your fit
Stupid Pupil, your pronoun is “it.”

You mixed-up little twerp, with your protest sign upheld
But you can’t read or write, so the words are all misspelled

You think you’re curing social-justice ills
But meanwhile mom and dad are paying all your bills
You’re chugging Red Bull and you’re vaping weed
the only things you learn are from your Twitter feed
You don’t work, you don’t pay rent
Stupid Pupil, come out of your tent

Your hair is greasy and your armpits stink
You think that other people really care what you think
And if you graduate, then you’ll be through
`Cause you’ll be serving burgers to the likes of you
Hey hey, don’t you see
You just crapped on your Bachelor’s Degree

Hey hey, higher ed
Stupid Pupil, I wish you were dead.

Dave’s Gone By Interview (11/10/2015): JESSICA TAGHAP

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Podcaster JESSICA TAGHAP interviews Dave Lefkowitz 

Topics include: radio, Miracle of Long Johns, Rabbi Sol Solomon, theater criticism. 

Segment was recorded Nov. 10, 2015 for Jessica Taghap’s “Spotlight” podcast and rebroadcast (with permission) May 18, 2024 as part of the 944th episode of the Dave’s Gone By radio/video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. 

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations.  For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                            

More information on Dave’s Gone By: davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #944 (5/18/2024): PLAYING TAG

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Here is the 944th episode of the long-running radio show/video podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Saturday morning, May 18, 2024.

Featuring: Jessica Taghap’s 2015 podcast interview with Dave; Greeley Times; Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Agate); Dave’s Big Dictionary (lucrative).

Guest: podcaster Jessica Taghap

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (raining in Baltimore, free coffee, spicy chip, fox family, King Charles on canvas)
01:10:00 GREELEY TIMES
01:32:30 BUNION WATCH
01:45:30 GUEST: Jessica Taghap interviews Dave (Nov. 2015)
02:51:30 DAVE’S BIG DICTIONARY: lucrative
03:01:00 Friends of the Daverhood
03:12:00 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED: Agate, CO
03:15:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Jessica Taghap
Agate, CO

Dave’s Gone By Interview (5/11/2024): CAROLYN MONTGOMERY & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with cabaret singer CAROLYN MONTGOMERY

Topics include: Rosemary Clooney, American Songbook Association, life change, religion

Segment aired May 11, 2024 as part of the 943rd episode of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com 

More about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com. 

Dave’s Gone By #943 (5/11/2024): THE FULL MONT

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Here is the 943rd episode of the long-running radio show/video podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Saturday morning, May 11, 2024.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews singer Carolyn Montgomery; Greeley Times; Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Adena); StoryTime (Sam, Bangs, & Moonshine).

Guest: cabaret’s Carolyn Montgomery

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce: vanishing books, grey weather, Repticon, Mission BBQ, wildlife
01:02:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Carolyn Montgomery
01:49:00 GREELEY TIMES
02:16:30 STORYTIME (Sam, Bangs, & Moonshine)
02:43:00 Friends of the Daverhood
02:56:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED: Adena
03:01:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Carolyn Montgomery
Rabbi Sol Solomon
Adena, CO

Dave’s Gone By #942 (5/4/2024): LANCH DRESSING

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Here is the 942nd episode of the long-running radio show/video podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Saturday morning, May 4, 2024.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews comedy writer Bruce Vilanch and offers his Rabbinical Reflection on the NYPD; Greeley Times; Colorado Limerick of the Damned; Bunion Watch; Dave’s Big Dictionary (agrarian).

Guest: humorist Bruce Vilanch

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce: dentist, producing musicals
01:07:00 GREELEY TIMES
01:36:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Bruce Vilanch
02:31:00 DAVE’S BIG DICTIONARY: agrarian
03:01:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #185: Three Cheers for the NYPD
03:07:30 Friends of the Daverhood
03:22:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED: Acres Green
03:26:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Bruce Vilanch
Rabbi Sol Solomon
New York’s Finest!
Acres Green, CO

Dave’s Gone By Interview (5/4/2024): BRUCE VILANCH & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with comedy writer BRUCE VILANCH

Topics include: The Oscars, Bette Midler, Johnny Carson, Dolly Parton, Judaism.

Segment aired May 4, 2024 as part of the 942nd episode of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com 

More about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com. 

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #185 (5/4/2024): THREE CHEERS FOR THE NYPD

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #185 (5/4/2024): Three Cheers for the NYPD

airs May 4, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube video: 

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for early May 2024. 

Credit where credit is due. And I don’t mean the credit cards where I owe 30 percent interest on a sofa I bought in 2014. No, I’m talking about: let’s applaud a job well done in a tremendously difficult situation.

Ever since George Floyd — you know, the drug addict, thief, armed robber, and counterfeiter who was horribly murdered by overzealous law enforcement — ever since that subject for statues became a symbol for systemic racism, cops have been betwixt and between. On the one hand, they face loathing from communities where, admittedly, they behaved badly for decades. On the other, they’re expected to be models of self-control while putting their lives on the line. Picture trying to do your job when the very people you are tasked to protect are shouting to defund you. Imagine that you take pride in serving the Big Apple, yet you’re automatically lumped in with the bad apples.

And now imagine that you’ve been called to a college campus where hundreds of deluded 20-somethings — whose age alone would mark them as enemies of authority — imagine that these liberal loonies and BIPOC buttheads have overtaken a major American university. As part of their tantrum, they’ve camped out on the lawn, blocked access to thoroughfares, and even vandalized a building. The school President has hithered and dithered, not wanting to spark violence or squelch free speech, but terrified to lose benefactors who might balk at endowing a university whose main export has become anti-Semitism. 

By the time Columbia’s leader, Minouche Shafik, realized things had gotten out of control, things had gotten out of control. What to do? What to do? Let the monkeys run amok? Surrender Hamilton Hall, Lewisohn Hall, Kravis Hall, the ironically named “Harmony Hall” — all to a bunch of tent-pitching yahoos who couldn’t find Gaza on a map, a map in a bookstore, a bookstore in a city, and a city on their non-stop TikTok feeds?

At a certain point, order must be restored. It doesn’t matter that the disrupters were non-violent, and it wouldn’t matter if they were there supportingIsrael against the demons of Hamas. They were asked to leave and refused. They were commanded to leave, and instead, smashed windows and home-invaded the administration building.

That’s when you send in the cops. With riot gear. 

And that, finally, is what President Shafik did. After a week of letting the hyenas run the zoo, she called in the NYPD who, with exceptional restraint and by-the-book behavior, broke up Hamas on the Hudson. Crying sophomores, shrieking professors, double-talking outside agitators — rounded up, plunked on paddy wagons, and slapped on the wrists, alas, but at least temporarily out of commission.

This, my friends, is how it’s done. Because, God knows, the cops showed more self-control than I would have to these Morningside morons. The first one to shout “Free Gaza” would have to do it through a mouth full of broken teeth. The first holding a “Divest” sign would have to hoist it with cracked knuckles. And the first Jew tweeting “Cease Fire Now!” would have so much mace sprayed in her face, her eyes would turn all four colors of the Palestinian flag. 

This is why I am not a cop. This is also why the New York Police Department — and every Blue brigade that’s been summoned to these conflagrations — deserves oodles of kudos for the job they did and the way they did it. I’m sure many of these officers agreed with the protesters — we’re not talking Einsteins here, on either side of the grass — but they followed reasonable directions in a professional manner, and they deserve our gratitude and admiration. 

And when the green-tent vermin swarm back onto the lawns of Columbia, NYU, Yale, UCLA, or any other ivy-choked nest of minacious radicalism, let the liars on the left be met head on by what’s right. 

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=69590

SONGS – List & Links

Hi folks! Here are audio archives and written lyrics of original songs performed on DAVE’S GONE BY.
All material is copyright protected by the author, as noted.

Captain Liflander’s War Madrigal
(5/3/03) Dave unearths a patriotic war song from the not-so-good-old days.
Listen / Full Episode
Cover’d with Crap
(3/16/03) Dave sings a delightfully repugnant sea shanty.
Listen / Full Episode
Dayenu 2003
(4/13/03): Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a Purim song about the resilience of the Jews.
Listen / Full Episode
Deep in the Heart of Dallas
(7/9/16): Dave sings a socio-political ditty.
Listen / Full Episode
A Dingo Ate My Baby
(1/26/03) Dave goes down under to sing of a tasty tragedy.
Listen / Full Episode
Don’t Mess with Us
(3/16/03): Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a Purim song about the resilience of the Jews.
Listen / Full Episode
Enema Blues
(1/19/03): Joined by Scott Rodolitz, Dave Lefkowitz sings the Fisch-Heads song, “Enema Blues.”
Listen / Full Episode
(I’m Having a) Gay Christmas
(12/23/04): Gay icon Peter Fitzgerald sings a Yuletide ditty.
Listen / Full Episode
I’m Too Sexy (For My Prostate
(9/2/17): The medical complaints of…who else? Rabbi Sol Solomon
Listen / Full Episode
Is it Good for the Jews?
(12/9/04): Rabbi Sol Solomon asks an age-old question in song.
Listen / Full Episode
It’s a Stiff
(12/8/03): A holiday ditty based on the true story of a woman who disposed of her unwanted infant in a not-so-Christmassy way.
Listen / Full Episode
Jeopardy Ken
(7/22/04): A song of tribute to Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings.
Listen / Full Episode
Jerree
(8/26/17): A plea from one of Jerry’s Kids.
Listen
Joey, the Spastic Kangaroo
(1/26/03): Dave goes down under to relate the tale of a mentally retarded marsupial.
Listen / Full Episode
Look What They Done to My Head
(6/24/04): With Muslim terrorists now staging decapitations for video, let’s imagine a song to go with them.
Listen / Full Episode
Makin’ Poopies
(11/4/04): A song celebrating the joys of relief.
Listen / Full Episode
M-O-T-H-E-R
(5/11/03): Dave sings a Mother’s Day tribute to moms, acronymically.
Listen / Full Episode
My Doggy’s Christmas Gift
(12/30/04): A holiday song to warm the cockles of pet lovers’ hearts everywhere.
Listen / Full Episode
Nirvanity
(12/1/02): Dave sings about the merchandising of Kurt Cobain.
Listen / Full Episode
Oh, Dat Ben!
(11/14/15): Dave found this beautiful, spiritual hymn sung by presidential candidate Ben Carson. Or at least about him.
Listen / Full Episode
The Rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald
(1/19/04): A ballad not-so-loosely based on the Mepham High School sodomy trial on Long Island.
Listen / Full Episode
Santasia
(12/23/04): A deeply warped and perverted take on “The Night Before Christmas,” for your holiday pleasure.
Listen / Full Episode
Seamus, the Urine Man
(3/16/03): Recently back from Dublin, Dave sings of his encounter with an Irish legend.
Listen / Full Episode
Sniper’s Lullaby
(10/27/02): A song, to the tune of “Hobo’s Lullaby,” that celebrates the capture of the Beltway Snipers
Listen / Full Episode
Stupid Pupil
(5/25/2024): A toast to the college graduates of 2024
Listen
Take Your Underoos Down (The Rolf Harris Song)
(7/19/14): In July 2014, legendary Australian TV personality Rolf Harris was sentenced to 69 months in prison for molesting numerous under-aged women over the course of two decades. Let’s hear his song, shall we?
Listen / Full Episode
Three Nights Before Christmas (2002)
(12/22/02): Dave recites a topical holiday poem.
Listen / Full Episode
Trayvon
(7/20/13): A song about the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman confrontation and trial.
Listen / Full Episode
The Twelve Complaints of Christmas
(12/22/02): Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a crabby holiday classic.
Listen / Full Episode
Twelve Months of Dave’s Gone By
(12/22/02): Dave sings a holiday carol for his radio show.
Listen / Full Episode
Undies
(8/24/13): At last, Joey Eugene Gallegos, the Greeley Underwear Bandit, has been apprehended, and here is his song.
Listen / Full Episode
We Killed Santa Claus
(12/23/04): A humbuggy holiday carol.
Listen / Full Episode
When Bushie Goes Marching In
(3/23/03): Dave’s rah-rah ballad to mark the start of the war in Iraq.
Listen / Full Episode

Dave’s Gone By Interview (4/27/2024): DAVID WILLINGER & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with playwright and director DAVID WILLINGER
Topics include: Bring Them Back, teaching, Theater for the New City, Judaism.
Segment aired April 27, 2024 as part of the 941st episode of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com.