Segment aired Jan. 30, 2016 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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Among the surprisingly controversial events at this year’s agricultural fair was an insult contest. Farmers with inventions would go before a “Shark Tank”-like panel, and not only would the best inventors get awards, but the panelists would get trophies for the best put-downs.
One chicken farmer came up with an egg protector, which was met with awful puns by all the judges. A soybean farmer invented a bean extractor that broke when he demonstrated it, so the jokes came thick and mean. Finally, a gardener presented his invention designed for lawn care. For hot summer days, he created a special air hose that would keep moss cool so it wouldn’t turn brown and die. The panelists were impressed but still made withering jokes. In fact, one judge who mercilessly dissed the invention was presented with the grand prize.
However, as soon as they gave it to him, he began to shake and stammer and had to be put in a wheelchair.
“What just happened?” said the gardener to a fellow contestant. “One minute he’s making fun of my moss air conditioning, the next he’s all spastic.”
The farmer replied, “No shock there. He got the Moss Cooler Diss Trophy.”