Dave's Gone By

A song celebrating the joys of relief.

Segment originally aired Nov. 4, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.

All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

MAKIN’ POOPIES

by David Lefkowitz

Another seat, another bowl
Another log comes out my hole
It’s really pleasin’ when I’m a-squeezin’
And makin’ poopies.

I pull my shorts below my rump
I read the sports and take a dump
It’s brown and shiny straight from the hiney
That’s makin’ poopies.

Sometimes I sit for ages waiting so patiently.
Though my intestine rages, nuggets are all I see.

I eat some bran and have some juice
Run to the can and shake it loose
I wipe my tushie when it gets mooshy
From makin’ poopies.

My little rectum, it does the job
Be it a hot dog or just a blob
It’s such a passion to feel the splashin’
Of makin’ poopies.

I grit my teeth and hug my gut
while underneath I hear a “splut”
It always happens with all my crappin’s
I’m makin’ poopies.

One day my gut got swollen,
I chalked it up to gas.
But when I touched my colon,
Blood shot out of my ass.

Now I feel woe, and it’s a drag
`cause when I go, it’s in a bag
I miss the odors of all the floaters
When making poopies.

So listen here, I recommend
That once a year, check your rear end.
Just find a docto’ to do a procto
He’ll stick a finga up your gazinga
You’ll scream and yelp, but it may help
in makin’ poopies.

©2004 David Lefkowitz