Segment aired Jan. 25, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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22.
A head of cauliflower and a head of broccoli are strolling through a field when they come upon a herd of donkeys. “Move, please,” says the cauliflower, but the donkeys won’t let them pass.
“Please move!” says the vegetable, a little louder, but again, the rude animals won’t budge.
“Let’s go find the leader,” the cauliflower tells his friend.
So they walk all around the herd until they find the head donkey, who’s obviously the leader because he wears an ermine robe and a crown over his ears. “Your highness,” begs the cauliflower, “we ask that you order your subjects to move!” But the king donkey just brays and completely ignores the intruders.
Fuming, the cauliflower strides up behind the donkey and, with all his might, kicks the mule in his nether parts. The donkey falls to the ground, writhing. At which point, the cauliflower jumps on the animal and beats him senseless. When he’s done, he lifts the crown off the burro’s head and, together, he and the broccoli carry it home as a trophy.
“That was amazing,” the broccoli gasps, “but don’t you think you went too far?”
“Nope,” says the cauliflower. “He was Ass King, Floret.”
