The 35th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired May 9, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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35.
“Doc,” says the professional weightlifter, “ya gotta help me with my problem. Every day, I follow the same routine for lunch and dinner. I eat two bowls of pasta so I can carbo-load, then I pee in a cup for my drug test.”
“Sounds perfectly fine,” says the doctor.
“Wait, this is where it gets weird. As soon as I close the cup, I start having this incredibly hot daydream about that financial woman on TV.”
“Suze Orman?”
“Yeah, her! And before I know it, my knees buckle and my pants get all sticky. It’s killing my energy.”
“Let me get this straight,” says the doctor. “Pasta, pee, Suze Orman fantasy, and then a discharge?”
“Right” says the weightlifter. “Is it serious?”
“Nah,” says the MD. “A lot of musclemen get this. We call it `Larry David Syndrome.’”
“’Larry David Syndrome’? What on earth does it have to do with that guy?”
“Well,” says the doctor, “I guess you’ve never heard of `Carb-Urine-Suzy-Gasm.’”