click above to watch in-studio footage of the entire episode.click above to listen to the entire episode.
Here is the 692nd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Sat, April 6, 2019. More info: davesgoneby.com.
Host: Dave Lefkowitz
GUESTS: Librettist Tom Jones, Dave’s wife Joyce.
Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews librettist Tom Jones, Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Inside Broadway, Potato News, Potato Hotline, Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Holly), Dave Goes Off (No Collusion).
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (tax relief?) 00:42:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES 01:07:30 POTATO NEWS 01:19:30 POTATO HOTLINE 01:30:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (news & reviews: What the Constitution Means to Me (01:36:30); Accidentally Brave; (01:54:00)) 02:09:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Tom Jones 03:10:00 DAVE GOES OFF – No Collusion 03:36:30 Friends of the Daverhood 03:45:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED – Holly 03:47:30 DAVE GOES OUT
April 6, 2019 Playlist: “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” (02:07:30; Oklahoma! 1943 Broadway cast). “They were You” (03:07:30; The Fantasticks 1960 off-Broadway cast). “My Cup Runneth Over” (03:52:30; I Do! I Do! Broadway cast w/ Mary Martin).
Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the New Year: January 1, 2019.
Well, you can’t say it wasn’t interesting. Even though we had no major war, the economy was robust, and Ruth Bader Ginsberg somehow stayed alive, 2018 was still a pretty goofy year.
We had winter Olympics in South Korea, while President Trump flirted with the supreme leader of North Korea. And who knows what the real relationship is between Trump and Vladimir Putin? Robert Muller is trying to figure it out, although his investigation is going on longer than the Torah portion at a stutterer’s bar mitzvah.
Meanwhile the stock market, which has been on an almost uninterrupted winning streak since the final weeks of George W. Tush, finally obeyed the laws of gravity and dropped 4000 points by early winter. That said, the numbers have been so topsy-turvy, by mid-January we might be back at new highs again—and even newer highs now that Jeff Sessions is out as attorney general. So it’s likely just a matter of time before—just as in Canada now—you can get marijuana anywhere you wanna.
Sessions wasn’t the only one through the revolving door of Donald Trump’s cabinet. The EPA-hating head of the EPA, Scott Pruitt, resigned in July. Trump fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson over his support of the Iran deal. Defense Secretary Jim Mattis disembarked after disagreeing with The Donald about having troops in Syria and Afghanistan—because they’re doing so much good there, right? And even UN Ambassador Nikki Haley hailed a cab—but not before she and the administration made good on their promise to move the U.S. Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem. The new Embassy opened on May 14—the 70th anniversary of the founding of Eretz Yisroel, so whatever else bad I have to say about our President, he gets a big “mezuzahs up—way up!” from me about that.
But not everything was good for the Jews in 2018. In October, a racist lunatic opened fire on Shabbos services, killing eleven at the ironically named “Tree of Life Synagogue” in Pittsburgh. Meanwhile, in Israel, Bibi Netanyahu has a friend in Trump but not many supporters on his home turf. He’s likely to be indicted in two separate fraud investigations. His wife Sara is already indicted on charges that she bilked the government out of $100,000 worth of free meals. I know Kosher food is expensive, but sheesh!
Speaking of folks facing prison time, Bill Cosby is doing 3-to-10 in the pen as punishment for decades of making women stir his pudding. Harvey Weinstein lost his movie company and faces criminal charges over his naughty behavior. And Kevin Spacey struck a blow for equality by proving that gay men can be just as creepy as straight ones.
One creep who got away with it and then some is Brett Kavanaugh, who probably did some bad drunken things to even drunker girls back in the day. But without any real evidence against him, he beat the rap and is now tilting the Supreme Court so far right, it’s a wonder all the benches don’t slide to the window.
And yet, even with so many countries—like Brazil and Hungary—electing hard-line xenophobic nationalists—under the guise of “populism”—good things have also occurred. By a popular vote of two-to-one, Ireland repealed its ban on abortion. India finally decriminalized homosexuality. Iceland made it illegal to pay men more than women for the same job. And after a 35-year ban, Saudi Arabia reopened its movie theaters and gave women the right to drive. They even opened an amusement park with a house of horrors—no, wait, that’s just the Saudi Arabian Embassy.
In the 2016 US midterm elections, a record number of women were voted into Congress—most of them Democrats, so the GOP now faces a government more split than Chris Christie’s pants. Even before the House pivots left next week, the White House faces gridlock. As we speak—well, I’m speaking—we’re in a partial government shutdown because the President wants a wall, and the Democrats prefer a bridge. At stake are a few measly billion dollars, which, considering we’re facing a trillion-dollar deficit next year, is really chump change. And hopefully we’ll change the chump in 2020.
Some not-so-nice changes happened to the internet this year. Facebook knows your voting habits, food preferences, and underwear color—and they’ve been selling that information to data-mining firms for years. And the FCC torpedoed “net neutrality,” so now big media companies can charge more for faster internet—or slow down or block sites that aren’t theirs. You think it’s no big deal, but just wait till it takes eight hours to watch a threesome on Redtube.
And speaking of hot, California nearly burned to the ground with wildfires. Too bad Indonesia didn’t loan them their tsunami water. And summertime saw heated protests over gun control after yet another school shooting—this one at a high school in Parkland, Florida. Seventeen people were killed, though many who survived created the gun-control activist group, Never Again. I kind of wish they’d pick another phrase, since that one is reserved for a previous horror, but be that as it may, one kid who survived became a real spokesman for the movement and has just been accepted into Harvard. Boy, the requirements to get into the Ivy League just get tougher and tougher, don’t they?
We had some tough losses in 2018: Penny Marshall, who was in a league of her own. Stan Lee, who was Marvelous. John McCain, a war hero who voted his conscience. (He didn’t always have the brightest conscience, but who does?) We lost both Barbara Bush and George Herbert Walker Bush, who had a mediocre Presidency but absolutely horrible sperm. He also had a funeral that lasted longer than a stutterer’s Bar M—oops, I used that one already. Farewell to film directors Milos Forman and Bernardo Bertolucci, who made people say, “I can’t believe that is butter.” Goodbye to Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, who were luckier than 99 percent of the world population but still chose the next life over this one. Aloha to Stephen Hillenburg, who had this crazy idea that a sponge and a starfish would make a fun cartoon, and Stephen Bochco, who actually believed TV viewers would want to spend an hour every week with lawyers. Go figure. Farewell to Burt Reynolds, who posed in Playgirl magazine to show his longest yard. We lost Bill Daily of I Dream of Jeannie, David Ogden Stiers of M*A*S*H, Harry Anderson of Night Court, and Hugh Wilson who created WKRP in Cincinnati. Novelist Tom Wolfe, who had the right stuff. Country musician Roy Clark—Salute! Aretha Franklin—Respect! Dolores O’Riordan, who should have lingered a little longer. Neil Simon, who, lucky for us, was always Broadway bound. Stephen Hawking, who popularized physics but bashed and boycotted Israel, so wherever he is, I hope he’s still in a wheelchair.
Returning to happier news this year, Ethiopia and Eritrea declared a truce after 20 years of war. Who knew? And a whole soccer team and their coach were rescued after three weeks trapped in a cave in Thailand. And water was discovered on Mars. Meh. If they discover seltzer there, then they’d have something. But everyone was looking up at the sky on August 11th, when a partial solar eclipse made us put aside the violence, the politics, the dysfunction, and just take in the wonder of nature. It was the moment we all realized that no matter how crazy things are every day, at any minute the earth could spin off its axis, and we could all be obliterated, so why worry?
My hope for 2019 is that we all work together, we all help each other, and that we actually do discover seltzer on Mars. Hey, it’s better than getting chocolate milk from Uranus.
I wish you all a most happy and healthy Shanah Tova Americana. This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.
Click above to listen to the interview (audio only).
Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with comedian Will Durst
Topics include: politics, radio, Lenny Bruce, Donald Trump.
Segment aired Nov. 3, 2018 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com
Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 1, 2018.
Hard to believe, but the tumultuous, ridiculous year of 2017, or, as I like to call it, 5777-5778, is coming to an end. We’ve made it through 365 days without a nuclear war, an ice age, and a new Renny Harlin film, so why grouse?
As I did last year, I have chosen to summarize the events of the past annum in a poetical-artistical form, so I hope you will bear with me as we bid shalom to the current year and, well, shalom to the next. Seriously, whoever invented Hebrew really dropped the ball on word coinage. Anyhoo, here goes:
`Twas the night before New Year’s and throughout this great land, Americans took about all they could stand
The country was split between blue states and red And folks on each side wished the other side dead
The Democrats never imagined they’d lose To a man who refers to the truth as “fake news”
A man who will speak without filters or grace Though he could not repeal and he could not replace
And so, onto migrants Trump’s temper did fall But Mexico said, “We won’t pay for your wall!”
“Now, folks,” said The Donald, “I’m just getting warm! I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll do tax reform!”
And just before Christmas, the bill it did pass. It’s great for the rich, not the poor and middle-class.
The stock market soared, the jobless claims fell And still we all feel like we’re going to hell
Big hurricanes drowned with their winds and their waves And statues came down `cause their subjects owned slaves
The national anthem brought teams to their knees While Hollywood drowned in an ocean of sleaze
Oh Spacey, oh Keillor, oh Lauer, oh Franken A few should get jailtime, the others a spankin’
The Democrats grinned when Fox News canned O’Reilly Till the axe fell on Schwartz, Hockenberry, and Smiley
And suddenly hashtags were filled with “Me Toos” Against a whole passel of rich, horny Jews
Yet Hollywood shlock remained vegetative “Star Wars” 26 – how innovative!
But at least cinema took our minds off our woes Prince Harry did, too, when he chose to propose
But still there were shootings by Muslims and crazies With Jason Aldean fans all pushing up daisies
Now, that Vegas massacre was not by a Muslim But they sure got mad at a Jewish Jerus’lem
And speaking of mad, how about North Korea Which seems like it’s ready to start World War Threea
The pundits were urging our chief to stay calm While Rocket Man threatened to liquidate Guam
But Trump was no Scrooge, no fiend out of Dickens Why, he tossed paper towels at wet Puerto Ricans
He railed against Clinton, he’s threatening DACA He kisses hot women but won’t use Binaca
He seated Neil Gorsuch upon the high court To make it much harder for girls to abort
He praised Neo-Nazis so white folks were mollified And all his appointees were ultra-unqualified
That said, he bombed Syria for murder by gas So why does he Tweet and kiss Putin’s ass?
O.J.’s a free man until his next trial And Mary Tyler Moore turned off her smile
This year we lost Domino, Berry, and Petty And Allman and Cassidy and enough already.
2018 is just up ahead With midterm elections to fill us with dread
The Winter Olympics will bore us with thrills So doctors, please don’t ban our opioid pills
We’ll need them to get through each day and each night Happy New Year to all, and to all a “La-La-Land.” I mean, “Moonlight!”
This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches, in Great Neck, New York. Shana Tovah!
Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of August 20, 2017.
Nazis are bad. I just thought I’d get that out of the way in case you didn’t know. Nazis are bad. And just so we’re clear, within the realm of Nazis, I also mean the KKK and White Supremacists. Bad, naughty, bad.
See? Wasn’t that easy?
Not for the president. At a time when the United States needed a leader who could spout soothing platitudes about standing up to the bad guys, President Trump painted everyone as bad guys. And then he started saying that some of the bad guys were good guys. In doing so, he’s made himself a pariah even among Republicans who forgave him for seven previous months of crazy.
And what kills me is that much of what Donald Trump said after the Charlottesville slugfest was both defensible and sensible. In his first statement after the event, the President said there’s no place for bigotry and hatred in America, and that we should all unite as one people. I dare anyone besides David Duke and Mel Gibson to disagree with that. And Chuck Schumer, just because disagreeing with Republicans is how he gets his oxygen.
But Trump also wanted to make a point about law and order. Remember: the guy went to a military academy and grabs his ankles every time a general walks by, so for him, a peaceable kingdom has more value than a righteous one. So he said, Look, you had one side showing up for a rally with torches and sticks, and another side meeting them with bats and pepper spray. When they got too close to each other, it was like a Jerry Springer picnic. And Trump was saying, very clearly, that both sides came to rumble. Instead of the Sharks and the Jets, you had the rights and the lefts. If Antifa hadn’t shown up, the alt-right would have had a non-eventful event. But the militant anti-fascists did come, saw a bunch of racists and Jew haters two feet away, and went to town. If you wave a red flag in front of a bull, you better hide your china. Which mixes two metaphors but still makes more sense than Donald Trump’s next speech.
That’s where the orange one doubled down on the douchebags. Two days after reading a prepared statement saying Nazis are bad—took him two days, but he managed it—he tried to re-re-clarify his pronouncements on the mutual violence in Charlottesville. How did he do that? By saying—and I kid you not—that there were good people on both sides. Which means that white supremacists holding confederate and Nazi flags, shouting “Jews will not replace us”—some of them were okay dudes. And he wonders why even Fox News anchors are having a crisis of conscience. Well, the ones who haven’t been fired for sending dick pics.
Turns out it doesn’t matter who is trying to corral the President—Sean Spicer, John Kelly, the Mooch, that sexy siren Sarah Huckabee—they’re all dealing with a man who says the first thing that comes into his head, which is so filled with orange peroxide, there’s no brain left. If there were, he’d realize that what he was trying to say was simple. In Charlottesville, you could divide the situation into two elements: ideology and behavior. One side had an evil ideology; both sides engaged in inappropriate behavior.
I’ll put it another way. Let’s say Trump pushes through his budget next year and cuts meals on wheels for the aged and handicapped. So a million old people march on Washington. Along with some cripples who roll on Washington. And they protest the cruelty of denying support to those who need it most. And the protestors are so mad, they start bashing young people with their canes and hurling their diapers into the reflecting pool at the Lincoln Memorial. Worst of all, they destroy the ratings of the Hallmark Channel by missing a whole day of “Diagnosis Murder” reruns.
Now, ideologically, these geezers are on the side of the angels—with whom they will be consorting soon enough. They have right on their side. Not alt-right, virtue-right. But behaviorally, they’re wicked, and should be arrested as soon as the first colostomy bag hits the Potomac.
So you see that moral evil can be separated from physical misconduct. A well-spoken Nazi in a suit and tie is still a Nazi. A heart surgeon who speeds through a red light still deserves a ticket. And a President who usually means well can keep doing things that make us want to impeach him.
We’re in for a long national conversation about pulling down statues, taking down blogs, and everyone being fed up. But take heart, America. It’s only 41 more months to the next presidential election. And if we can just manage to stay out of a nuclear war, that’s more than enough time to bounce back from a civil war. Isn’t it?
This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches, in Great Neck, New York.
Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of August 13, 2017.
In much of mainstream media, Donald Trump is maligned—left, right, and sideways—for everything he says and does. A lot of times he should be, but other times, it’s just knee-jerk obstructionism as payback for the way the Republicans cock-blocked Obama for eight years. Is it really wrong to put America first, or to be extra careful about immigration from hostile countries, or to think your daughter’s kinda hot? No. These are defensible ideas, whether you ascribe to them or not.
However, since Donald Trump can’t get his own agenda started, his whole presidency has been about reversing whatever the last administration did. And about saying, “Hey, you think I’m a liar and a meanie? Hillary’s even worse!”—which is such a helpful ideology six months after the election.
Still, Trump wants to junk the Iran deal? I don’t blame him. He wants to hold Arab countries to a higher standard of behavior before selling Israel down the river? I’m all for him. He wants to fire everyone he appointed? Eh, he did that on TV, so why should we expect different? He wants to reverse policy about transsexual people joining the military? No. Just no. What the hell is it to Donald Trump if a soldier’s uniform fits a little differently between the hips and the knees?
Republicans say they’re not being homophobes; the reason to keep Trannies out of the service is cost–for building separate bathrooms and showers. And since the army is known to spend $400 on a toilet seat, putting up an entire stall must cost millions. The military also fears that transgenders will stay closeted until they get through basic training, then ask for surgery and expect Uncle Sam to pay for it. I mean, where’s the money going to come from if we’re pouring all that dough into building empty schools in Iraq and Afghanistan?
Another excuse to ban the Trans is mental instability. Right-wingers say that if a person can’t decide whether to be a boy or a girl, that points to confusion, which can be deadly on the battlefield. And, of course, bible-thumping goyim see gender fluidity and homosexuality as mental illnesses to begin with. We can’t have crazy people in the air force and navy, they say. We need to save those slots for colored folks who have no other way to get a leg up in this economy than to be cannon fodder.
I think what Trump is most worried about is the downtime. You’ve got Marines, pumped up on testosterone and killer instincts, waiting around for an excuse to release their aggression. With no battle to charge into, they go out to drink and pick up a female cadet. Now, there’s a private, taking a woman back to his tent, groping around her privates, and finding a ding-dong where her ying-yang should be. That’s a homicide waiting to happen. But it’s not a trannie’s fault if a cadet can’t control himself, any more than it’s Burger King’s fault if I take extra ketchup packets and put them in my cupboard for later. They may be tempting me by displaying free condiments, but it is my weakness that makes me stuff my pockets. Damn you, H.J. Heinz.
But back to the AC/DC’s. If you’re in a foxhole fighting a war, do you care whether the person next to you has a penis, a vagina, or a mixmaster between the legs? No. You just want them to fire when ready and send your dog tags home if you don’t make it. And the bitching about transgenders in the military is no different from the griping about women in the military, and gays, and blacks, and Jews, and anyone who isn’t white, Christian, and 100 percent brain-washable. Donald Trump has bought into this prejudice to the point where he won’t even allow trannies in the office pool, let alone facing combat.
Of course, the silver lining is that transgender people who can’t serve in the military also can’t get killed in the military. When we have to start sending bombers over North Korea, it’s the tow-headed, Sunday-school Andy Hardys who’ll be flying top-secret, while the Caitlin Jenners will be shopping in Victoria’s Secret. But it is not the President’s place to declare that people of any sexuality are unfit to defend their own freedom. After all, 66 million Americans voted that Donald Trump wasn’t fit to be President, yet here he is in the job. Hmm, maybe that’s not the best example.
This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches, in Great Neck, New York.
click above for episode #617 (audio only)Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 617th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Aug. 12, 2017. Info: davesgoneby.com.
Host: Dave Lefkowitz Guests: actress Stephanie D’Abruzzo(Avenue Q)
Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews actress Stephanie D’Abruzzo and offers his Rabbinical Reflection on Trump n’ Trannies, Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (Jerry Herman, In the News), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later.
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN (new plates, nixfinity, Avenue Q) 00:26:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News 01:14:30 Sponsors 01:18:00 INSIDE BROADWAY 01:58:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Stephanie D’Abruzzo 02:55:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Jerry Herman 03:14:00 Friends 03:23:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #149 (Trump n’ Trannies) 03:29:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later 04:06:30 DAVE GOES OUT
Aug. 12, 2017 Playlist: “Shake it Off” (00:28:30; Taylor Swift). “Google” (00:32:00; Ben Bailey). “Bang Bang Bang” (00:35:30; Big Bang). “White Boys” (00:39:30; Hair 2010 Broadway cast). “Gentle on My Mind” (00:41:30; Glen Campbell). “Move On” (01:50:30; Barbara Cook & Malcolm Gets). “The Internet is for Porn” (01:55:30), “There’s a Fine, Fine Line” (02:52:00) & “I Wish I were Back in College” (04:11:00; Avenue Q 2003 Broadway cast w/ Stephanie d’Abruzzo). “Time Heals Everything” (02:59:00; Georgia Brown). “Shalom” (03:03:30; Milk and Honey 1961 Broadway cast w/ Robert Weede). “I Don’t Want to Know” (03:06:30; Dear World 1969 Broadway cast w/ Angela Lansbury). “Waiting for the Morning Light” (03:33:00; Gene Simmons). “September on Jessore Road” (03:41:30; Allen Ginsberg). “Girl from the North Country” (03:55:00; Bob Dylan).
(pictured: Stephanie D’Abruzzo, Jerry Herman, Donald Trumpette) DOWNLOAD VIDEO
RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #141 (11/6/16): Electile Dysfunction
Aired Nov. 5, 2016 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cX5zCpfhuk&feature=youtu.be
Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of November 6, 2016.
Well, my friends, this is it. In three days, we drag ourselves to the local junior high school, sign our names in a guest book, hold our collective noses, and pull the lever to choose which nightmare we wish to endure for the next four years.
On one side, we have Hillary Clinton: experienced, resilient, hardworking, honest as the day is long. At the South Pole. If you ask this woman, “what color is the sky?”, her answer’s gonna be, “Well, depending on the time of day and the light refracting away from various planets, we could be somewhere in the azure-like spectrum. But until I’ve done more research, I have to reserve comment on that.” Hillary Clinton gets a memo with a giant “C” on it for “Classified,” and she thinks the “C” stands for, “Come, put this on your home computer — where you haven’t updated Norton Utilities in three years.”
And two-faced? This woman has more faces than Mount Rushmore in a hall of mirrors. She tells rich fatcats she’s for open borders, but then she tells middle-class Democrats she’s for protecting trade. She bashes her opponent as a sexist pig but persecutes any woman who humped her husband. Which is a full-time job, by the way. Hillary promises to get tough on America’s enemies, but when was Secretary of State, the Middle East turned into Terrorist Disneyland. Heck, Hillary Clinton wouldn’t even be the nominee if Debbie Wasserman Schultz and her party apparatchiks didn’t treat Bernie Sanders like a naughty puppy who was soiling the carpet by lifting his leg to the far left.
For all his faults, people still love Hillary’s husband, Bill. He’s got the twinkle, he’s got the polish; he’s got another box of cigars at the ready. But that popular love just doesn’t transfer to Mrs. Clinton, who’s been in the political game too long to ever be a real person again. Even people who don’t dislike her understand that if she’s elected, the country will stay the same. The economy will still grow at a pace that makes photosynthesis look like the Indy 500. ObamaCare will put more people in hospitals . . . with heart attacks after they see their premiums. And America will still lag behind the rest of the world in everything except obesity and unwatchable cable TV channels.
And yet, of the two candidates running for the two major political parties, Hillary Clinton is the better choice. I know that’s like saying a bowl of chocolate-covered horse radish is preferable to a dish of month-old sheep vomit, but if you had to pick, you go with the maror over the moron. No question, Donald Trump is a wildly successful businessman. He’s successful, and he’s wild. I like that he has balls, but then again, what else do you shoot with a loose cannon?
Now, I don’t hold against Donald Trump that he’s gone bankrupt a couple of times. It takes a savvy entrepreneur to pick yourself up, dust yourself up, pay your creditors two cents on the dollar, and start all over again. And I don’t mind that he hasn’t paid any taxes since the Hoover administration. If I could find a legal way not to pay sales tax every time I bought a pastrami sandwich, I’d be owning Trump Hotel. Which would be especially ironic since neither of us owns it. For all his building development, Donald Trump does not own most of the buildings he has his name on. But I don’t hold that against him, either. After all, if my last name were Parkinson, would I want my name on a disease?
What I do begrudge The Donald are his deals with the devil. When The Orange One first announced his candidacy, his whole shpiel was about being an outsider. He wasn’t a lifelong politician and therefore took no money and owed no favors. That’s tremendously appealing, especially when you’re also plain-speaking, pro-Israel, and promising to play by your own rules. Had Mr. Trump gone with a third party or created his own party—and I don’t mean the kind of party where he offers a supermodel $10,000 to polish his cornerstone—I mean Ross Perot-ing it. Saying “shtup you” to the Pelosis and the Paul Ryans, because he could. Between his bank account and grass-roots support among the kind of white people who think Canadians are as exotic as foreigners should be allowed to get, Donald Trump could have funded a truly “outside” campaign.
Instead, he gets in bed with the elephants. The same people who gave us eight years of George W. Bush, not to mention Fox News, Richard Nixon, Sarah Palin, Strom Thurmond, and Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. So the Republicans think they can corral Trump, Trump thinks he can streamroll the G.O.P., and I think they should both go down in flames. Trump wants to build a wall to keep out Mexicans? Who’s gonna pick my etrogs for Sukkos? He’s gonna give tax credits to the ultra-wealthy so their money will trickle down? Wanna bet it trickles down into their yachts, their jewelry, their private islands . . . Trump wants to pick Supreme Court justices who will protect the Constitution. The Constitution doesn’t need protecting; it just needs an annotated edition with color pictures, a worksheet, and an interactive website. Actually, the Torah could use that, too. I’ll have to tell that to God next time we talk.
Anyhoo, Donald Trump says, “What have you got to lose?” Everything stinks; maybe I’ll stink less. Of course, the last guy who said that was Ralph Nader, and we all saw how well that turned out. So for what it’s worth, I endorse Hillary Clinton for President in 2016. It is not a ringing endorsement. In fact, it’s more of a thudding endorsement. But look at the alternatives: the Trumpster fire? The Libertarian guy who thinks Aleppo is a tiger with spots? The independent party run by a dude named “Joe Exotic?” Look him up. He’s got eight rings in his ear, a Fu Manchu moustache, and a mustard-yellow leisure suit that should be kept 1,000 feet from any building and detonated. Or the guy from the Legal Marijuana Now Party — because, of course, the most urgent problem facing our nation today is finding a place to get your mellow on with some sweet bud? Or the guy from the Nutrition Party, whose sole claim to fame is inventing the Muscle Maker Grill? I mean, I like George Foreman, but I wouldn’t want him negotiating with North Korea. Except about barbecue, and even then, kimchi would be a dealbreaker because who the hell wants to eat that? Seriously.
So we come to the long-awaited end of this contentious, obnoxious, unfathomable election cycle in America. A cycle that had one candidate call a war hero a coward and another whose every private email makes the New York Times bestseller list. Meanwhile, the rich get richer, the bridges are crumbling, the schools are stupid, the terrorists are multiplying, and Steven Tyler is making country music. We’re in big trouble. But vote anyway because if we’ve gotta choose between an egotist with a messiah complex or a liar who understands complexity, I’ll take the one who isn’t relentlessly battling crucifixion. Let’s face it…what Rabbi wouldn’t?
This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches, in Great Neck, New York. Vote early, vote often, try the veal.
click above for episode #578 (audio only)Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 587th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio Oct. 15, 2016. Info: davesgoneby.com.
Host: Dave Lefkowitz Guest: Dave’s wife Joyce
Featuring: Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (rappin’, Trumpster Fire), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (desert trip), Greeley Crimes & Old Times
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (Dylan’s Nobel, office flood, VocabuLarry, gummy bottles) 00:35:30 Weather 00:42:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN w/ Joyce (Snooty) 00:47:00 Sponsors 00:58:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES 01:45:30 INSIDE BROADWAY 02:13:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (desert trip) 02:42:00 Friends 02:48:00 DAVE GOES OFF – Trumpster Fire 03:13:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Pop That 03:31:00 DAVE GOES OUT
Oct. 15, 2016 Playlist: “Mio Mao” (TV theme song). “The Message” (01:32:00; Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five). “Express Yourself” (01:38:00; N.W.A.). “Cherry Oh Baby” (02:10:30; Eric Donaldson). “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right” ({Budokan version}; 02:24:00), “Ballad of a Thin Man” ({take 2}; 02:29:00) & “It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue” ({take 1} 02:32:30; Bob Dylan). “A Bone in My Ear” (03:14:30; Bruce Cockburn). “Rape Can Be Funny” (03:18:00; George Carlin). “Pussy Power” (03:22:00; Iggy Pop). “The Prickilie Bush” (03:25:00; Judy Collins). “Sound and Vision” (03:36:00; David Bowie). (Pictured: Al Nobel, VocabuLarry)
click above for episode #567 (audio only)Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 567th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, July 23, 2016. Info: davesgoneby.com.
Host: Dave Lefkowitz Guest: actor-director Austin Pendleton, Dave’s wife Joyce
Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with actor-director Austin Pendleton. Plus: Inside Broadway, My Sick Mind, Saturday Segues (conventions, Snooty’s birthday!), Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (political places)
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (Snooty’s birthday!, crows) 00:31:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES 01:19:00 Sponsors 01:26:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Manatees 01:50:00 INSIDE BROADWAY 02:23:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Austin Pendleton 03:03:00 Reader Mail 03:12:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (political places) 03:28:30 Friends 03:38:00 MY SICK MIND 03:42:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Conventions 04:07:30 DAVE GOES OUT
July 23, 2016 Playlist: “Snootie Little Cutie” (01:29:00; Manhattan Transfer). “I’m a Manatee” (01:32:30; Jim Gaffigan). “You and Me and a Manatee” (01:34:30; Ty Curtis). “Horny Manatee” (01:37:30; Conan O’Brien TV excerpt). “On the Highway of Love” (02:16:30; I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change 1996 off-Broadway cast). “A Transparent Crystal Moment” (02:20:30; The Last Sweet Days of Isaac 1970 off-Broadway cast w/ Austin Pendleton). “Miracle of Miracles” (02:57:30; Fiddler on the Roof 1964 Broadway cast w/ Austin Pendleton). “Wanted Man” (03:13:30; Johnny Cash with Carl Perkins). “Cry a While” (03:16:30; Bob Dylan). “Quit Your Low Down Ways” (03:21:30; The Hollies). “Enter the Convention” (03:43:00; Professor Elemental). “Politicians – Republican Party Convention” (03:46:00; Will Rogers USA w/ James Whitmore). “Conventioner” (03:50:00; Shelly Berman). “Lobachevsky” (3:58:30; Tom Lehrer).
(Donald Trump at the Republican National Convention)
