The 25th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired Feb. 14, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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25.
Against his better judgment, the warden of a small-town prison lets his most violent offender out early for good behavior. “Johnny,” he says, “my advice to you is leave this town, go the big city, and get yourself a hobby that’ll use up some of that nervous energy that always gets you into trouble.”
“Hobby?” says Johnny with sneer, “like fishing or stamp collecting?”
“Actually, I signed you up for dance lessons,” replies the warden. “You’ve always been light on your feet, and it might help you meet a higher class of people.”
So Johnny moves to the city, takes a menial job, and five times a week he visits the dance studio – loving every minute. He loves the grace, the aerobic workout and especially the costumes. When he does the tango, he gets to wear a hat and vest; when he learns tap, he can wear tap shoes and a bow tie. He even participates in African dance wearing a headdress and a grass skirt.
But a few weeks later, Johnny’s back in prison, possibly for life. The old warden from his hometown calls him saying, “Johnny, I heard you were doing so well with the dancing. What happened?”
Johnny says, “Tango was great, tap was amazing, and the African stuff was the best ever. But disco? You know, they made me wear a girdle to correct my posture for the disco pose. A girdle!”
“And that’s why you stabbed the instructor to death, destroying your new life in the big city? Because of disco dancing?”
“I’m sorry,” says Johnny. “I just couldn’t take the hustle and bustle.”