Dave’s Gone By Skit: STORYTIME w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon – Schmegoogle

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Dave’s Gone By Skit (6/29/2024): STORYTIME: Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads “Schmegoogle”

For this week’s StoryTime segment on Dave’s Gone By, Rabbi Sol Solomon skims through Daniel Klein’s book Yiddish-friendly book, “Schmegoogle.”

This segment aired June 29, 2024 as part of the 950th “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com. 

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

 More on Rabbi Sol: shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #949 (6/22/2024): BETTER ALL THE TIME

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Here is the 949th episode of the long-running radio show/video podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Saturday morning, June 22, 2024.

Featuring: Dave guests on John Suzuki’s podcast, “Finding Better.” Plus: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s new “Aristocrats” joke, Bunion Watch, Greeley Times, Dave’s Big Dictionary (vulnerable), Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Columbine Acres).

Guest: podcaster John Suzuki

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce: The Tonys, newspapers, fawn
01:07:30 GREELEY TIMES
01:28:00 BUNION WATCH
01:37:00 GUEST: John Suzuki interviews Dave Lefkowitz on “Finding Better
02:19:30 DAVE’S BIG DICTIONARY: vulnerabe
02:32:00 Friends of the Daverhood
02:38:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN: Potato truck, hot-dog showdown
02:49:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #188: The New Aristocrats Joke
02:59:00 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED (Columbine Acres, CO)
03:01:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Rabbi Sol Solomon
Takeru Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut
Columbine Acres (Memory Care Home)

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #188 (6/22/2024): THE NEW ARISTOCRATS JOKE

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #188 (6/22/2024): The New Aristocrats Joke

airs June 22, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By.  

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for late June 2024.

Just like new plots for movies, there’s really no such thing as a “new” joke, just old jokes packaged in a different way. For example: Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because he was shopping at Kohl’s, and it was all they had — plus it was on clearance. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he heard all these people telling jokes about him and he got curious. 

Old Manischewitz: new bottles. So here’s a naughty little joke called “The Aristocrats” that’s been around for decades. Gilbert Gottfried made it famous, and they even did a documentary about it. But I doubt you’ve heard my version.

A guy goes into a talent agent’s office, and he says, “Buddy, have I got an act for you!” 

And the agent says, “Don’t waste your time. Novelty is dead. Nobody watches “Got Talent” anymore. I’m sorry, but — ”

“No, no, no,” says the guy. “This is huge. My family, my friends, strangers — it’s spectacular!”

“You’re wasting your time,” says the agent. “I’m not interested.”

“You will be!” says the guy. “Just gimme a chance. Please!”

The agent sighs and says, “All right, fine. Show me what you got.”

“Thank you!” says the guy. “It’s incredible, I promise!”

So the guy claps his hands, and shouts, “Allahu Akbar.” Suddenly thousands of Arabs appear. He blows a whistle, and the Arabs start attacking Israel. They’re firing rockets, they’re launching missiles, they’re hurling bombs and grenades.

Meanwhile, one group of Arabs go to an Israeli kibbutz where they’re having a music festival. And the Arabs start mowing down Jews with machine guns and rifles. They’re killing women, they’re hacking up children, dogs, pets, birds. And they’re shooting the men and then defiling the corpses and cutting off heads and pissing down the necks. Another group is taking hostages. And they’re torturing them, punching and kicking and stabbing and dragging and frogmarching them into tunnels.

And the women hostages are getting raped. Oh, they’re fucking these women with gun barrels and fists and korans. And they’re fucking the child hostages, too. They’re using dead kids as dildos to ass-fuck the live ones. So there’s blood and cum and baby teeth spraying every which way.

Meanwhile, the living hostages are dragged into daycares and hospitals and elementary schools, where the hidden Arabs are firing rockets and explosives to kill more Jews. This while thousands of other Arabs are butchering and killing and shitting on synagogues and smearing themselves with IDF soldier blood.

“But wait, there’s more!” says the guy to the talent agent. “That’s when all these college students come out and they run on campus with tents and banners and costumes. And they’re all screaming, `Death to Israel’ and `Free Gaza’ and `Stop the Palestinian Genocide’ while dancing around and crying and fucking each other even though they haven’t bathed in a month. And some of them break into hundred-year-old buildings and smash windows, trash furniture, crap on books. And then campus presidents come over, and they just watch. They don’t do anything; they just stand there like a 19th century French tableaux.”

But meanwhile the hostages are still dying in the tunnels, the Arabs are slaughtering every Jew in sight, the students are blocking highways, vandalizing Jewish homes, and jumping on subways to threaten anyone who looks like a kike. That’s when all these other countries around the world come in and start sanctioning Israel and banning Israelis from having passports. And the left-wing media applauds this and weeps for the refugees whose vote for a terrorist government started all this shit in the first place. 

And meanwhile the terrorists murder and torture and rape and kill and kill and kill and kill in a ritual orgy of sadism, savagery, and Islamic frenzy. 

With that, the guy in the office blows his whistle and says, “Well, what do you think?”

The talent agent sits for a minute and finally says, “Wow, that’s quite an act. By the way, what do you call yourselves?”

The college students all start cheering as the guy straightens himself up, Jewish blood still dripping from his sleeves, and says, “Hamas!”

Funny joke, ha? This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #187: Tony Time 2024

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #187 (6/15/2024): Tony Awards 2024

airs June 15, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By.  

Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for June 16—Tony Night—2024.

Oh, my friends, the time has come as it does every year (except the year of the pandemic) to celebrate and honor excellence in the Broadway theater. The Tonys are named for Antoinette “Tony” Perry, an actress and early female stage director who founded the American Theater Wing, which brought shows to our servicemen in World War II. In 1947, Tony Perry and producer Brock Pemberton cooked up the idea of giving out prizes at the end of the season. Here we are, 77 events later, and the Tonys are a ritual, a commercial for Broadway, and an excuse to complain when musical numbers all sound the same or a performer we love gets egregiously overlooked. 

For me, the Tonys are also a time to remember, with pride, just how crucial Jewish people were in creating Broadway, and how they are still—even in this age of trannies and Sudanis and Kardashian fannies—a theatrical force to be reckoned with. For example, “Mary Jane” may be the most goyische name for a character ever, but Mary Jane the Tony-nominated play is by Amy Herzog. She’s half-Jewish on her mother’s side and comes from a long line of Marxist, far-left socialist, and other politically wrongheaded but super-Jewish beliefs.

Speaking of 50/50 Jewesses, Paula Vogel is back on the Tony roster with Mother Play, about a mama who smokes and drinks gin. Okay, not Jewish, but we don’t want her to be. Plus, last decade, Vogel wrote Indecent, that lovely play about Yiddish theater and lesbians, two subjects I can’t think about without reaching for a box of tissues, albeit for different reasons. 

Now, another nominated playwright, David Adjmi, is American-Syrian. (worried pause) Syrian-Jewish! (happy dance) Adjmi’s play Stereophonic, about a rock band in crisis, looks to be the one to beat for the Tony statuette. The competition is Jaja’s African Hair Braiding, by schvartze-shickseh playwright Jocelyn Bioh—hey, Jews can’t hog every nomination—and also a new play by Joshua Harmon, who wrote a comedy years ago called “Bad Jews!” 

Well, Harmon’s Prayer for the French Republic is a three-hour Jewfest, a heartfelt exploration of why Jews never feel safe anywhere for very long. If you can believe it, the play was written two years before the latest cataclysm and before every putz walking a college campus turned into a billboard for Hamas. One of the show’s characters is a progressive Jewish chick who rails against Israel because she doesn’t understand that without Israel, Holocaust II is just a sequel waiting to happen. For making that case alone, Joshua Harmon deserves an award—not from the Tonys but from the B’nai B’rith.

But before we get too serious, let’s find some other Yids in the Tony tally. Songwriter Shaina Taub, the shayna maidel who wrote the musical Suffs, has said that the Jewish idea of tikkun olam, repairing the world, is a vital part of her ideology. Half-Jewish Liev Schreiber just played Anne Frank’s father in a TV miniseries,and Michael Stuhlbarg, raised as a Reform Jew, was the Rabbinically cursed Larry Gopnik in the Coen Brothers’ film, A Serious Man.

Now, this does bring us to actress Quincy Tyler Bernstine. She’s black. And I have no idea if… (mouths) Bernstine? However, both her parents were lawyers, and she went to Brown University, so even if Bernstine is not a Bernstein, she’s fine. The same goes for special Tony winner Abe Jacob, a legendary sound designer who’s probably Jewish, but I can’t prove it, and Alex Edelman, whose one-man show, Just for Us, brings us back to—you got it—anti-Semitism as an American pastime. Edelman, raised Orthodox, talks about assimilating and wanting to be like everyone else but still feeling unsure how he fits in. He also recounts attending a meeting of Neo-Nazis just to study their mindset. Actually, I could have saved him a trip; just go to your nearest university student government and watch them vote on divestment.

But Mazel Tov to Alex Edelman, Featured Actress nominee Shoshana Bean, Featured Actor Steven Skybell (whose last big role was a Yiddish Tevye!), and let’s not forget half-Jewish Daniel Radcliffe! Yes, Harry Potter’s magic wand is circumcised.

Not surprisingly, we see many landslayt in the Best Musical Revival category—remember when all musicals were Jewish even when they weren’t Jewish? (sighs) Anyhoo, there’s Cabaret, Gutenberg! The Musical!, Merrily We Roll Along, and The Who’s Tommy—all with some Jewish connection. Cabaret covers the rise of Nazi Germany and its effect on Jews and Gentiles alike. Well, not alike: Jews suffered worse. But the score was co-written by John Kander—Jewish, and still alive at 97!—and Fred Ebb—no longer alive but Jewish when he was!

Gutenberg! The Musical! was written by two shaygitzes, but the name “Gutenberg” sounds Jewish, and, hey, he printed the Bible, so he gets a pass. Pete Townshend, who wrote the music for Tommy, has always looked Jewish, so thumbs up for that. And how can we leave out the melech malchei hamlachim, Stephen Sondheim, whose Merrily We Roll Along finally became a Broadway smash? That musical shows how youthful idealism corrodes into cynicism, disappointment, and schadenfreude. What could be more Jewish?

And so, chaverim, we await Broadway’s big night: the teary-eyed speeches, black actresses thanking the Lord, gay directors thanking their husbands, viewers at home thanking God that Jo Koy isn’t hosting. My hope for the Tonys is that anyone wearing a Gaza pin on their dress accidentally sits on it, and that we are spared acceptance speeches that sneak in brainless homilies on ceasefire and two-state solutions and other subjects pampered Broadway snowflakes know less than nothing about. Stick to art, stick to entertainment! I just wish they’d stop sticking it to consumers by charging $200 for orchestra seats. (Go figure how all these socialists don’t mind a little free-market capitalism when it comes to their paychecks.)

But I can get only so angry at the theater, which has given me so much nachas over the years. May creativity and beauty always be replenished, and may Broadway, that Fabulous Invalid, which has survived world wars, assassinations, Covid, and even TikTok, forever go on with the show.

This has beena Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Curtain up!

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=83401

Dave’s Gone By Skit (6/8/2024): STORYTIME w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon: “The P Word,” Part 3 (lefkowitz)

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STORYTIME: Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads “The P Word,” Part 3

For this week’s StoryTime segment on Dave’s Gone By, Rabbi Sol Solomon continues to read from David Hu’s book, “The P Word.”

This segment aired June 8, 2024 as part of the 947th “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com. 

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

 More on Rabbi Sol: shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (6/8/2024): NATALIE DOUGLAS & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with cabaret singer NATALIE DOUGLAS

Topics include: Birdland, Nina Simone, singing, adoption, cabaret

Segment aired June 8, 2024 as part of the 947th episode of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com 

More about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com. 

Dave’s Gone By #947 (6/8/2024): DOUG ADDICT

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Here is the 947th episode of the long-running radio show/video podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Saturday morning, June 8, 2024.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews singer Natalie Douglas, offers his Rabbinical Reflection on Maldives and Mexico, and continues StoryTime (“The P Word, part 3”), Greeley Times; Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Alexander); Dave’s Big Dictionary (incognito).

Guest: singer Natalie Douglas

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce: frozen gefilte fish, smoked pastrami
00:42:30 GREELEY TIMES
01:03:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Natalie Douglas
02:08:30 STORYTIME w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon: “The P Word,” part 3
02:31:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN: Pat Sajak
02:42:00 DAVE’S BIG DICTIONARY: incognito
02:51:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #186: Maldives n’ Mexico
03:01:30 Friends of the Daverhood
03:10:00 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED
03:12:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Natalie Douglas
Rabbi Sol Solomon
Alexander Mountain in CO (the closest we could get to an Alexander, CO!)

Dave’s Gone By Skit (6/1/2024): STORYTIME: Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads “The P Word,” Part 2

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For this week’s StoryTime segment on Dave’s Gone By, Rabbi Sol Solomon continues to read from David Hu’s book, “The P Word.”

This segment aired June 1, 2024 as part of the 946th “Dave’s Gone By” video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Full episodes also available on youtube, Facebook (davesgoneby), and on DavesGoneBy.com. 

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Visit shalomdammit.com for more on the Rabbi.

Dave’s Gone By Interview (6/1/2024): JANIS SIEGEL & YARON GERSHOVSKY and Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with jazz musicians JANIS SIEGEL and YARON GERSHOVSKY 

Topics include: Bobby McFerrin, Cy Coleman, Manhattan Transfer

Segment aired June 1, 2024 as part of the 946rd episode of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.                                                   

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com 

More about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com. 

Dave’s Gone By #946 (6/1/2024): GERSH AGENCY

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Here is the 946th episode of the long-running radio show/video podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook Saturday morning, June 1, 2024.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews jazz musicians Janis Siegel and Yaron Gershovsky; StoryTime with Rabbi Sol Solomon (“The P Word, part 2”), Greeley Times; Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Alder); Dave’s Big Dictionary (svelte).

Guest: jazz singer Janis Siegel and musical director Yaron Gershovsky

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce: glowy squid, who killed New Poo?, smoked pastrami
00:47:00 BUNION WATCH
01:00:00 GUESTS: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Yaron Gershovsky and Janis Siegel
01:39:30 STORYTIME w/ Rabbi Sol Solomon: “The P Word,” part 2
02:03:30 GREELEY TIMES
02:25:00 Friends of the Daverhood
02:39:00 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED: Alder, CO
02:47:00 DAVE’S BIG DICTIONARY: svelte
02:59:30 DAVE GOES OUT: a poem is an egg with a horse in it

Yaron Gershovsky & Janis Siegel
Rabbi Sol Solomon
Alder, CO