Jewish GPS – Dave's Gone By

click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 500th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, March 7, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave’s 500th episode: 500 minutes plus 1 hour to grown on! Dave plays classic bits, novelty numbers, interview clips and more from years gone by. Plus: chats with return guests, Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection on Dave’s 500th, musician Christine Lavin, actress Carole Demas, radio legend Dr. Demento, Greeley Crime Beat, visits from UNC Radio general manager Thomas Hoffman, UNC Radio programming director Matthew Davis, UNC Mirror journalist Will Costello, UNC Radio host Alex Kirschner and friends Fred Cleaver and Wendy Highby. Also: Calls from former programming director Sam Wood, singer Carole Demas, Dave’s mom & dad Philip and Brenda Lefkowitz, Dave’s friend Ozer Teitelbaum, and former guest co-host Jeff Goodman

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: radio host Dr. Demento, musician Christine Lavin, actress Carole Demas, UNC Mirror journalist Will Costello, UNC Radio general manager Thomas Hoffman, UNC Radio programming director Matthew Davis,, UNC Radio former general manager Sam Wood, radio personality Joe Salzone, friends Wendy Highby, Fred Cleaver, Ozer Teitelbaum and Jeff Goodman, Dave’s mom & dad (Philip & Brenda Lefkowitz), Dave’s wife Joyce.

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (#500!, Purim narwhal)
00:24:30 GREELEY CRIME BEAT, pt. 1
00:27:00 GUESTS: Fred Cleaver & Wendy Highby (new!)
00:52:00 GREELEY CRIME BEAT, pt. 2 w/ Will Costello
00:58:00 GUESTS: Will Costello
01:04:00 GREELEY CRIME BEAT, pt 3
01:14:30 GUESTS: Will Costello, Alex Kirshner, Thomas Hoffman (new!)
01:36:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN
01:51:00 GUEST: Bonnie Franklin (aired 10/1/11)
02:00:30 SKIT: The Giving Chimp (aired 11/3/02)
02:07:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #3: Taco Bell (aired 1/29/11)
02:21:00 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #26: Autopsy (aired 2/21/15)
02:23:00 SONG: Take Your Underoos Down (aired 7/19/14)
02:32:30 GUEST: Karinna Kittles-Karsten (aired 2/11/07)
02:50:30 SONG: Jeopardy Ken (aired 10/14/04)
02:53:30 Sponsors
03:01:30 GUEST: Joe Franklin (aired 4/1/07)
03:06:30 SKIT: Pre-Tampered Yummies (aired 10/27/02)
03:12:00 GUEST: Tom Paxton (aired 9/2/04)
03:20:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’s RABBINICAL REFLECTION #11: Circumcisions (aired 4/2/11)
03:31:30 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #23: Screenwriter (aired 2/7/15)
03:37:30 More Sponsors
03:40:30 GUEST: Jill Sobule (aired 9/22/05)
03:52:00 SKIT: Blarney O’Bunions (aired 3/12/06)
03:57:30 GUEST: Christine Lavin (new!)
04:39:00 GUEST: Al Aronowitz (aired 1/20/05)
04:46:00 GUEST: Dr. Demento (new!)
05:14:00 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #20: Beatles (aired 1/10/15)
05:11:00 Emails & Epistles
05:21:00 SKIT: Handyman Yoni (aired 7/29/04)
05:26:30 GUESTS: Brenda & Philip Lefkowitz (new!)
05:44:30 GUEST: Joe Salzone (new!)
05:56:30 GUEST: Carole Demas (new!)
06:15:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION: Jewish GPS (aired 1/27/12)
06:20:30 GUEST: Sam Wood (new!)
06:48:30 GUEST: Gilbert Gottfried (aired 12/17/11)
06:59:00 SONG: A Dingo Ate My Baby (aired 1/26/03)
07:00:00 GUEST: Matthew Davis (new!)
07:16:00 More Emails & Epistles
07:22:00 Excerpt: First Show – opening (aired 10/6/02)
07:32:30 GUEST: Ozer Teitelbaum (new!)
07:34:30 SONG: Undies (aired 8/24/13)
07:59:00 SKIT: Buttboink Mountain w/ Peter Fitzgerald (aired 1/22/06)
08:06:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #119: Dave’s 500th (new!)
08:15:30 Thanks
08:18:30 GUEST: Jeff Goodman, pt. 1
08:42:30 A Call from Joyce
08:46:00 Sponsors
08:47:30 SKIT: Bob Dylan for WaxVac
08:49:00 Excerpt: First Show – closing (aired 10/6/02)
08:54:00 GUEST: Jeff Goodman, pt. 2
09:19:00 DAVE GOES OUT

March 7, 2015 Playlist: “Buckets of Rain” (01:44:00; Bob Dylan). “Take Your Underoos Down” (02:23:00), “Jeopardy Ken” (02:50:30) & “A Dingo Ate My Baby” (06:59:00; Dave). “I Hold Your Hand in Mine” (02:26:00; Tom Lehrer). “Don’t You Let Nobody Turn You `Round” (03:17:30; Tom Paxton). “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” (03:33:30; The Rolling Stones). (03:49:00; Jill Sobule). “Never Go Back” (04:28:00; Christine Lavin). “Shaving Cream” (05:11:00; Benny Bell). “Have a Peanut Butter Sandwich” (06:43:00; Art Paul Schlosser). “Across the Universe” (08:50:00; The Beatles). “`Heroes'” (09:22:00; David Bowie).

click above to listen (audio file)

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #36 (1/28/2012): Jewish GPS

Aired Jan. 28, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube Clip: Jewish GPS

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of January 28th, 2012.

Now, I don’t ordinarily attach my name to a company or product . . . because no one has asked me before, but I am proud to say that has changed. The Garminsky Corporation has asked me to be the spokesman for their newest release – the Jewish G.P.S. Or, as we call it, Gimel, Peh, Shin.

Not only am I the willing shill for this fine, location-tracking device, but they have asked me to contribute my voice and personality to the recorded system. It’s still in prototype mode, but the idea is to give drivers searching for a location a haimische Jewish experience on the way towards their destination.

For example. I’m gonna switch it on. Takes a minute to boot up. Okay, let’s make believe we’re driving to the kosher butcher, about five miles away. Or, as the goyim say, “kilometers.” I just push the button, and the Gimel Peh Shin tells me where to go.

“Please drive to highlighted route. Dammit.”

Okay, let’s pretend I’m pulling out of the driveway…

“Please drive to highlighted route. Dammit.”

All, right, all right, I’m driving.

“Good. If you look to the left of your computer screen, that means you’re not looking at the road, so in .1 mile, you will crash into a utility pole. Heh heh heh heh, just kidding. But keep your eye on the street, goddammit, and get ready to turn in .2 miles.”

Okay, I can do that. Moving on . . .

“Turn left. No – wait! Turn right. Sorry, my fault. now you have to go around.”

I told you it was a prototype. Okay, I’m going around the block now.

“In .1 mile, turn left. The other left. Good. In 300 feet, turn right. Or don’t turn right, do what you want, it’s your funeral.”

Now, we’re on the road to the butcher, and you can calibrate the Gimel Peh Shin to give you extra information. Like:

“On your left, you’ll find Mrs. Schimmelbaum taking her daily stroll.

Notice the grin on her face because she’s having a torrid affair with her osteopath.”

Okay, sometimes there’s more information than you need. But other times, the device can be a godsend:

“Warning! Black neighborhood in .5 miles! Roll up all windows and cover your
laptop with a schmattah.”

The Jewish G.P.S. can also be programmed to avoid highways, tolls and outlet clothing stores like Aphmau Merch Shop, making it a must-have for every Jewish husband. You can also program the device to provide weather updates, baseball scores, pop lyrics and the entire Mincha synagogue service.

“Arriving at destination parking lot. Enter store and make sure the bastard doesn’t cheat you on the cold cuts.”

My friends, the Gimel Peh Shin is the latest advancement in driving technology. And not to brag, but the Jewish G.P.S. is so much better than the Greek one, which forces you to back in everywhere, and the Polish one, which just smashes you into your garage.

Coming soon to a store near you, the Jewish G.P.S. It takes you where it thinks you should go.

“Please drive to highlighted route. Really? McDonald’s? Cheeseburgers? No,
I’m taking you to Kosher King. Now shut up and drive.”

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29446

Tag: Jewish GPS

Dave’s Gone By #500 (3/7/2015): INDIE 500

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #36 (1/28/2012): Jewish GPS