This Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired Nov. 1, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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10.
A magician is teaching his new assistant the ropes. He brings her to the back room where she sees three shelves – top, middle, and bottom – each with one live dove on it.
The trainer explains, “I do 20 shows a week, and these are the three birds I use for every show. The top one I call “Befores,” because you show him in the lobby before the performance starts. The middle one I call “Afters,” because you display him when I’m signing autographs after the show. And then the bottom one we use during the show.”
“So do you call him Betweens?” asks the assistant. “Or Middles?”
“No,” says the magician. “I call him Bilbo.”
“Bilbo? If your top dove is called Befores, and your middle dove is called Afters, why is the bottom one that you use during the show called Bilbo?”
“Obvious,” says the magician. “He’s Lower Dove Durings.”