Dave’s Gone By #738 (3/21/2020): BUSCH LEAGUE

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Here is the 738th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook, Saturday, March 21, 2020. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Guests: playwright Charles Busch, Dave’s wife Joyce

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews actor Charles Busch, Inside Broadway, Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Silt), Wretched Pun of Destiny (Opry), Today Yesterday (March 21).

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (COVID-19)
00:53:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:21:00 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #63 (Opry)
01:28:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:49:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Charles Busch
03:00:00 TODAY YESTERDAY (March 21)
03:35:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED (Silt)
03:38:00 DAVE GOES OUT

March 21, 2020 Playlist: “Those Were the Days” (01:45:00) & “Touch Me in the Morning” (02:49:30; Charles Busch).

Charles Busch
Silt
Grand Ole Opry
COVID-19

Dave’s Gone By #653 (6/2/2018): A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK

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Here is the 653rd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on Facebook, June 2, 2018. Info: davesgoneby.com. 

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guests: actor Laurence Luckinbill, Dave’s wife Joyce

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews actor Laurence Luckinbill, Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Saturday Segue (in the news), Inside Broadway, Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Ault), StoryTime (A Cow for Hansel, pt. 12), Dave’s Big Dictionary (mill), Wretched Pun of Destiny (golf).

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (wormy and the epileptic octopus, castoreum , whoopee!, skullcap, Big Dave )
00:34:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:01:30 Sponsors
01:06:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:37:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Laurence Luckinbill
02:42:00 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED – Ault
02:44:00 Friends of the Daverhood
02:55:00 STORYTIME – A Cow for Hansel, pt. 12
03:11:00 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #62 – Golf
03:13:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
03:45:30 DAVE’S BIG DICTIONARY – Mill
03:54:00 DAVE GOES OUT
DAVE GOES OUT

June 2, 2018 Playlist: “Castoria” (00:27:00; Nicolas Slonimsky). “Welcome to the Tonys (01:34:30; Forbidden Broadway vol. 8). “Rosanne” (03:14:30; Vic Damone). “Pardon Me” (03:26:00; Emitt Rhodes). “Trade War” (03:34:30; Van Dyke Parks). “Leaving Home” (03:40:00; Grafitti Thrill). “June Hymn” (03:56:00; The Decemberists).


(pictured: Laurence Luckinbill, A Cow for Hansel, Ault, Tourettes Golf, Dairy Barn)

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Dave’s Big Dictionary #006 (2/17/2018): SNOBBERY

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Dave’s word of the day is SNOBBERY, which leads to memories of being a music snob.

The 6th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired Feb. 17, 2018 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2018 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #612 (7/1/2017): JULY’S PEOPLE

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Here is the 612th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, July 1, 2017. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guests: humorist Dylan Brody (Driving Hollywood), Dave’s wife Joyce

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with writer Dylan Brody. Plus: Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (Patriotism, In the News), Greeley Crimes & Old Times, The Wretched Pun of Destiny (craigslist), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (USA)

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (thumb trauma, fangled, snooty after dark, shoes for potato, WWIV)
00:31:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:13:00 Sponsors
01:15:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:39:30 Friends
01:41:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Dylan Brody
02:25:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (USA)
02:52:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
03:31:00 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY – Craigslist
03:33:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Patriotism
03:53:30 Weather
03:55:30 DAVE GOES OUT

July 1, 2017 Playlist: “I Love You Like a Table” (01:36:00; Waitress 2016 Broadway cast). “The Death of Emmett Till” (02:26:30) & “It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)” (02:37:30; Bob Dylan). “Tears of Rage” (02:32:00; The Band). “Fuel to Fire” (02:52:30; Agnes Obel). (02:58:00). “Why do the Wrong People Travel” (Sail Away 1961 Broadway cast w/ Elaine Stritch). “Plastic Surgery” (03:04:00; Phyllis Diller). “Venus” (03:06:30; Frankie Avalon). “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss her Good Bye” (03:08:30; Steam). “The Patriot Game” (03:34:00; Liam Clancy). “Patriots’ Dream” (03:38:00; Arlo Guthrie). “Patriotic” (Rocky 2014 Broadway cast). “The Patriotic Dog” (03:44:00; Benny Bell). “I am a Patriot” (03:45:00; Jackson Browne). “The American in Me” (04:03:00; Steve Forbert).

Dylan Brody’s Driving Hollywood
Happy 4th!

Dave’s Gone By #591 (1/28/2017): LILAC TIME

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Here is the 591st episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Jan. 28, 2017. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guests: author Iris Dorbian, Dave’s wife Joyce

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with author Iris Dorbian (“An Epiphany in Lilacs”). Plus: Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (Maggie Roche, In the News), Greeley Crimes, Old Times, & Fraccidents, Wretched Pun of Destiny (b&b), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (shadows in the night).

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (free tiramisu!, bitter tears, dreidel straws)
00:39:00 GREELEY CRIMES, OLD TIMES, & FRACCIDENTS
00:57:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Maggie Roche
01:18:00 Sponsors
01:21:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:35:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Iris Dorbian
02:09:00 Sponsors
02:12:30 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #43 (Dick Van Dyke) {originally aired 7/4/15}
02:13:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (shadows in the night)
02:31:00 Friends
02:37:30 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #59 (b&b)
02:39:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
03:19:00 Weather
03:21:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 28, 2017 Playlist: “Apache Tears” (00:20:00; Johnny Cash). “You’re the One” (01:01:00), “Come Softy to Me” (01:04:00), “Jill of All Trades” (01:07:00) & “A Prayer” (01:10:30; The Roches). “It Only Takes a Taste” (01:32:00; Waitress 2015 Broadway cast). “Every Time I Smell Lilacs” (Nunsense A-Men 2007 touring cast). “Some Enchanted Evening” (02:19:00), “Full Moon and Empty Arms” (02:22:30) & “Autumn Leaves” (02:26:00; Bob Dylan). “Fact and Fiction” (Bright Lights Big City 2005 studio cast). “Overend Watts” (02:42:30; Mambo Sons). “Twenty Flight Rock” (02:45:30; Paul McCartney). “Hot `Lanta” (02:49:00; The Allman Brothers). “Hurt” (02:54:00; Johnny Cash). “I Haven’t Seen Mary in Years” (02:58:00; Bill Monroe). “Love is All Around” (03:27:30; Husker Du).



(Iris Dorbian’s An Epiphany in Lilacs, the back cover of Bob Dylan’s Shadows in the Night, Maggie Roche)

Dave’s Gone By #525 (9/5/2015): BUDD LIGHT

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Here is the 525th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Sept. 5, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with singer Julie Budd. Plus: Dave chats with former co-host Jeff Goodman, Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Dylan – Sooner & Later (Love Under Tempest), Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (the Wainwrights, In the News), Wretched Pun of Destiny.

Guests: Singer Julie Budd, former DGB co-host Jeff Goodman, Dave’s wife Joyce.

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (cat foot, Sinatra, Bob’s bed, jelly babies, Botched, Tull time)
00:40:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:23:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN w/ Joyce (squirrel tails)
01:30:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – The Wainwrights
01:57:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (01:57:00; News / Dean Jones (02:15:30))
02:31:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Julie Budd
03:54:00 Weather
03:55:30 GUEST: Jeff Goodman
04:30:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (Love Under Tempest)
04:47:00 Sponsors
04:51:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY (Crops)
04:56:30 Friends
05:04:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
05:27:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Sept. 5, 2015 Playlist: “Beyond the Horizon” (00:13:30), “God Knows” (04:33:00), “Long and Wasted Years” (04:36:00) & “Sugar Baby” (04:39:30; Bob Dylan). “Natural Disaster” (01:32:00) (Loudon Wainwright III). “Changing” (01:35:00; Suzzy Roche). “Rules and Regulations” (01:37:30; Rufus Wainwright). “So Many Friends” (01:42:00; Martha Wainwright). “Ramblin’ Blues” (01:45:00; Loudon Wainwright III & Sloan Wainwright). “Being Alive” (02:26:30 Company 1970 Broadway cast w/ Dean Jones). “I’ve Got the World on a String” (02:31:30), “Skylark” (02:47:30), “Looking Through the Eyes of Love” (02:58:00), “All the Way” (03:22:00), “Come Rain or Come Shine” (03:51:30) & “Where Do I Go from Here” (05:30:00; Julie Budd). “There is a Mountain” (05:05:00; Donovan). “A Nightmare on My Street” (05:07:30; DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince). “Classifieds” (05:12:00; Bob Mould). “Marry Me Now” (05:15:15; Neil Diamond).

Julie Budd
Dean Jones
Rufus & Loudon Wainwright
Dylan’s Tempest
crops

Dave’s Gone By #520 (8/1/2015): HARRI’S ON TOUR

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Here is the 520th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Aug. 1, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with author Louise Harrison (“My Kid Brother’s Band, aka The Beatles”); Inside Broadway; The Wretched Pun of Destiny (chimney); Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (Harrison); Saturday Segues (Bennett/Spence, Jerry Garcia); Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection (Cecil the Lion); Greeley Crimes & Old Times.

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guests: author Louise Harrison, Dave’s wife, Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (Tom McNally, Keurig, dancing, The Neville, Beatles, Hare Krishna)
00:40:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
00:59:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN (dog phlegm, Come Blow Your Horn)
01:15:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Tony Bennett/Joseph Spence
01:37:00 Sponsors
01:46:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:07:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Louise Harrison
03:15:00 Weather
03:19:30 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #47 (Chimney)
03:21:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (Harrison)
03:43:00 Long Johns Update
03:52:00 Friends
04:04:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #120 (Cecil the Lion)
04:11:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Jerry Garcia
04:33:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Aug. 2, 2015 Playlist: “My Sweet Lord” (00:27:00), “Beware of Darkness” (02:40:30), “Cheer Down” (03:07:30), “I’d Have You Anytime” (03:26:00), “Absolutely Sweet Marie” (03:32:30) & “Mama You Been on My Mind” (03:36:30; George Harrison). “Hare Krishna” (00:32:00; MC Yogi). “Our Love is Here to Stay” (01:23:30) & “Old Devil Moon” (01:29:30; Tony Bennett). “Conch Ain’t Got No Bone” (01:25:30) & “Happy All the Time” (01:33:00; Joseph Spence). “Easy as Life” (02:03:00; “Easy as Life” Aida Broadway cast). “If I Needed Someone” (02:27:00; The Beatles). “Something” (03:29:00; Bob Dylan). “Grateful Dawg” (04:15:30; Jerry Garcia & David Grisman). “Dire Wolf” (04:19:30) & “Wharf Rat” (04:22:30; Grateful Dead). “Time for August” (04:44:30; Julie London).

Louise Harrison
Josepoh Spence
Jerry Garcia
Tony Bennett
Come Blow Your Horn on Broadway, 1961
Cecil the Lion

Dave’s Gone By #507 (5/2/2015): ROYAL FLUSH

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Here is the 507th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, May 2, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with photographer Steve Gottlieb (“Flush: Celebrating Bathrooms Past and Present”). Plus: Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflection on Popeyes, Saturday Segues (Ben E. King, In the News), Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (testing), Inside Broadway, The Wretched Pun of Destiny (operetta).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: photographer Steve Gottlieb, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce Weil (Room C, brain bucket, Vin Scelsa, Fordham)
00:40:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Ben E. King
00:59:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:29:00 Sponsors
01:30:30 DAVE GOES AWAY – New York (MoMa & The Frick)
02:01:00 Sponsors
02:05:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Steve Gottlieb
02:53:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (news (02:53:00) & reviews: The Heidi Chronicles (03:21:30) & The King and I (03:31:00)
03:48:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #34 (operetta)
03:52:30 Weather
03:55:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (testing)
04:16:00 Friends
04:26:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #123 (Popeyes)
04:34:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
04:54:30 DAVE GOES OUT

“I Count the Tears” (00:44:30) & “This Magic Moment” (00:46:30; (The Drifters). “Supernatural Thing, Part 1” (00:49:00) & “Stand By Me” (00:53:00), “It’s All in the Game” (04:57:00; Ben E. King). “Flushed from the Bathroom of Your Heart” (02:50:30; Johnny Cash). “Hello, Young Lovers” (03:43:30; Renee Fleming). “Born in Time” (03:57:00), “Property of Jesus” (04:01:00), “Maybe Someday” (04:05:30) & “Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window” ({alt. version}, 04:09:00; Bob Dylan). “Good Morning Baltimore” (04:34:00; Hairspray 2002 Broadway cast w/ Marissa Jaret Winokur). “Boxing” (04:38:00; Ben Folds). “Earthquakes” (04:42:30; Luie Luie). “May Day (There’s a Riot Goin’ Down) (04:45:00; Passing Strange 2008 Bway cast w/ Stew). “Dirty Bridge” (04:46:30; Amy Rigby).

Ben E. King
Elizabeth Moss in The Heidi Chronicles
Kelli O’Hara in The King and I
George Romney’s “Lady Hamilton”

Cezanne’s “Pines and Rocks (Fontainebleau?).”

Dave’s Gone By #500 (3/7/2015): INDIE 500

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Here is the 500th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, March 7, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave’s 500th episode: 500 minutes plus 1 hour to grown on! Dave plays classic bits, novelty numbers, interview clips and more from years gone by. Plus: chats with return guests, Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection on Dave’s 500th, musician Christine Lavin, actress Carole Demas, radio legend Dr. Demento, Greeley Crime Beat, visits from UNC Radio general manager Thomas Hoffman, UNC Radio programming director Matthew Davis, UNC Mirror journalist Will Costello, UNC Radio host Alex Kirschner and friends Fred Cleaver and Wendy Highby. Also: Calls from former programming director Sam Wood, singer Carole Demas, Dave’s mom & dad Philip and Brenda Lefkowitz, Dave’s friend Ozer Teitelbaum, and former guest co-host Jeff Goodman

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: radio host Dr. Demento, musician Christine Lavin, actress Carole Demas, UNC Mirror journalist Will Costello, UNC Radio general manager Thomas Hoffman, UNC Radio programming director Matthew Davis,, UNC Radio former general manager Sam Wood, radio personality Joe Salzone, friends Wendy Highby, Fred Cleaver, Ozer Teitelbaum and Jeff Goodman, Dave’s mom & dad (Philip & Brenda Lefkowitz), Dave’s wife Joyce.

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (#500!, Purim narwhal)
00:24:30 GREELEY CRIME BEAT, pt. 1
00:27:00 GUESTS: Fred Cleaver & Wendy Highby (new!)
00:52:00 GREELEY CRIME BEAT, pt. 2 w/ Will Costello
00:58:00 GUESTS: Will Costello
01:04:00 GREELEY CRIME BEAT, pt 3
01:14:30 GUESTS: Will Costello, Alex Kirshner, Thomas Hoffman (new!)
01:36:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN
01:51:00 GUEST: Bonnie Franklin (aired 10/1/11)
02:00:30 SKIT: The Giving Chimp (aired 11/3/02)
02:07:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #3: Taco Bell (aired 1/29/11)
02:21:00 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #26: Autopsy (aired 2/21/15)
02:23:00 SONG: Take Your Underoos Down (aired 7/19/14)
02:32:30 GUEST: Karinna Kittles-Karsten (aired 2/11/07)
02:50:30 SONG: Jeopardy Ken (aired 10/14/04)
02:53:30 Sponsors
03:01:30 GUEST: Joe Franklin (aired 4/1/07)
03:06:30 SKIT: Pre-Tampered Yummies (aired 10/27/02)
03:12:00 GUEST: Tom Paxton (aired 9/2/04)
03:20:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’s RABBINICAL REFLECTION #11: Circumcisions (aired 4/2/11)
03:31:30 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #23: Screenwriter (aired 2/7/15)
03:37:30 More Sponsors
03:40:30 GUEST: Jill Sobule (aired 9/22/05)
03:52:00 SKIT: Blarney O’Bunions (aired 3/12/06)
03:57:30 GUEST: Christine Lavin (new!)
04:39:00 GUEST: Al Aronowitz (aired 1/20/05)
04:46:00 GUEST: Dr. Demento (new!)
05:14:00 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #20: Beatles (aired 1/10/15)
05:11:00 Emails & Epistles
05:21:00 SKIT: Handyman Yoni (aired 7/29/04)
05:26:30 GUESTS: Brenda & Philip Lefkowitz (new!)
05:44:30 GUEST: Joe Salzone (new!)
05:56:30 GUEST: Carole Demas (new!)
06:15:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION: Jewish GPS (aired 1/27/12)
06:20:30 GUEST: Sam Wood (new!)
06:48:30 GUEST: Gilbert Gottfried (aired 12/17/11)
06:59:00 SONG: A Dingo Ate My Baby (aired 1/26/03)
07:00:00 GUEST: Matthew Davis (new!)
07:16:00 More Emails & Epistles
07:22:00 Excerpt: First Show – opening (aired 10/6/02)
07:32:30 GUEST: Ozer Teitelbaum (new!)
07:34:30 SONG: Undies (aired 8/24/13)
07:59:00 SKIT: Buttboink Mountain w/ Peter Fitzgerald (aired 1/22/06)
08:06:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #119: Dave’s 500th (new!)
08:15:30 Thanks
08:18:30 GUEST: Jeff Goodman, pt. 1
08:42:30 A Call from Joyce
08:46:00 Sponsors
08:47:30 SKIT: Bob Dylan for WaxVac
08:49:00 Excerpt: First Show – closing (aired 10/6/02)
08:54:00 GUEST: Jeff Goodman, pt. 2
09:19:00 DAVE GOES OUT

March 7, 2015 Playlist: “Buckets of Rain” (01:44:00; Bob Dylan). “Take Your Underoos Down” (02:23:00), “Jeopardy Ken” (02:50:30) & “A Dingo Ate My Baby” (06:59:00; Dave). “I Hold Your Hand in Mine” (02:26:00; Tom Lehrer). “Don’t You Let Nobody Turn You `Round” (03:17:30; Tom Paxton). “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” (03:33:30; The Rolling Stones). (03:49:00; Jill Sobule). “Never Go Back” (04:28:00; Christine Lavin). “Shaving Cream” (05:11:00; Benny Bell). “Have a Peanut Butter Sandwich” (06:43:00; Art Paul Schlosser). “Across the Universe” (08:50:00; The Beatles). “`Heroes'” (09:22:00; David Bowie).

Fred Cleaver
Wendy Highby
Christine Lavin
Dr. Demento
Dave & Philip Lefkowitz
Joe Salzone
Carole Demas
Sam Wood
Ozer Teitelbaum
Jeff Goodman
Matthew Davis
Will Costello
Thomas Hoffman
Rabbi Sol Solomon

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #017 (12/20/2014): TREE HALL

Click above to listen.

The 17th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired Dec. 20, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2014 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
*
17.
Fighting broke out at the local university’s forestry and conservation wing over – of all things – which tea should be planted in the arboretums of the dormitories.

The students of Flower Hall said, “We’re sick of jasmine tea; we want oolong tea.”

The students of Bush Hall said, “No fair! We want oolong tea.”

The students of Tree Hall said, “No way! We’ve had dibs on oolong since last semester. You take Darjeeling.”

Well, all three halls start yelling and fingerpointing which escalates until punches are thrown, tables get smashed, and soon, there’s a full-fledged riot.

The next morning, the president of the university arrives to survey the damage. She calls all the dormitories together and asks how the trouble started. Immediately, the students from Flower Hall, Bush Hall and Tree Hall start screaming their sides of the story and moving towards another riot.

“Please, please!” cries the president. “Can’t Tree Hall Just Get Oolong?”