Rabbi Sol Solomon – Page 84

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #116 (2/8/2015): UC Dervish

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #116 (2/8/2015): UC Dervish

(aired Feb. 7, 2015 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/jisuZvALtjg)

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of February 8th, 2015.

What is the purpose of education? In an idealistic sense, it is to broaden the mind, to open young people to a world greater than themselves that they have to wade into in order to become productive members of society. Or, more simply put: live and learn. But one can also say the purpose of education is to take a bunch of kids who are too stupid to be left alone during post-adolescence, and corral them all in one place before we inflict them willy-nilly upon the planet.

Well, you don’t get kids much dumber – or potentially dangerous – than the yutzes at UC Davis, the University of California, Davis. Pro-Palestinian, liberal wackjob teenagers, who comprise the rotting corpse that is the student body, voted to boycott Israel over the country’s treatment of the poor, poor Palis. In a vote that passed 8 to 2, these bleeding-heart buttheads recommended that the University divest itself of all business dealings with the land of milk and honey. The SJP, whose letters stand for Students for Justice in Palestine (though they could just as easily stand for Suck my Jewish Penis), the SJP cheered and waved Palestinian flags as the vote went down in their favor. Best of all, as Jewish and pro-Israel students shuffled out of the meeting hall, the Arab-sympathizers began chanting, “Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.”

Now, where have we heard that poem before? Oh yeah, every time a Muslim with a grudge and an AK-47 decides to vent his spleen on a bunch of innocent civilians, those are the words: “Allahu Akbar.” It may sound like a religious prayer, but it’s more like a death yell. We heard it from Nidal Hasan, who killed 13 people in Fort Hood a few years ago, and we heard it last month, with a French accent, when the Koran Krazies lit into Charlie Hebdo for drawing cartoons.

I don’t need to tell you how I feel about the Israeli-Palestinian situation. But I will anyway. As I’ve said fifteen quadrillion times, Israel is a country — the size of a postage stamp — created after the Holocaust for Jewish people to finally have their own homeland. Anyone else on it either has to live by Israel’s rules or get the Allah out. And if you live in a country bordering Israel, or on land Israel gave back in the vain hope of trading acreage for peace, you better not be hostile, or we’re gonna stomp you like a wine glass at a wedding. But alas, up until that time, it’s the Arabs and their misguided sympathizers that do the violence, over and over again.

After the UC Davis vote – that the SJP won – the anti-Semites weren’t even satisfied with that! Two days later, someone painted swastikas on the walls of the Jewish fraternity, Alpha Epsilon Pi. (Actually, they should call it Aleph Epsom-Saltz Chai, but that’s for another time.)

It’s unclear whether this act was perpetrated by Arabs or just white kids goaded by all the latent Hebrewphobia stirred up by the vote. Either way, UC Davis has a nasty hurricane coming. I don’t mean a riot. I mean the whooshing sound of Jewish students exiting a place of higher learning that has sunk to a valley of lower squirming. It’s the sound of Jewish alumni divesting their donations and bequests from UCD and sending them to the UJA. It’s the whooshing sound of freshman applications – and application fees – being turned into paper kites because little Missy Horowitz and her 1500 SAT score now chooses to attend USC or UC Berkeley instead.

People at the University say the graffiti and the protests and threats are coming from outside sources and not the college kids themselves. How convenient. You light a torch and you wonder why someone behind you screams fire. Well, I’m screaming, too. Screaming at the retarded students of UC Davis who buy into this wahh-wahh, right-of-return, push-Israel-off-the-map garbage. And all this time, what’s been happening in the Arab world? More beheadings, hostages being burned alive, kidnapping and attacks – business as usual in the radical Muslim cyclone everywhere they are. And yet Israel is the bad guy.

Students of UC Davis, in my gradebook, you get an F for Flunk and a U for Uninformed. I realize you probably can’t spell, so I’ll put them together for ya: F. U.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=27424

Dave’s Gone By #496 (2/7/2015): COLE MINING

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Here is the 496th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Feb. 7, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with singer-songwriter Lloyd Cole. Plus: Inside Broadway, Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical reflection on UC Davis, The Wretched Pun of Destiny (screenwriter), Saturday Segue (Dan Bern), Greeley Crime Beat, Dylan – Sooner & Later (the dead)

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: singer-songwriter Lloyd Cole, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (these foolish things, Ayds, a touchy)
00:35:00 GREELEY CRIME BEAT
01:17:00 AFFIRMATION TIME
01:22:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Dan Bern
01:41:00 Sponsors
01:50:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:27:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Lloyd Cole
03:16:00 Friends
03:26:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #24 (screenwriter)
03:30:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #116 (UC Dervish)
03:38:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (the dead)
04:04:00 Weather
04:06:30 Thanks & Upcoming
04:11:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Feb. 7, 2015 Playlist: “Tastee Touchy” (00:24:30; Luie Luie). “Revolution Begins in the Basement” (01:23:30), “Never Fall in Love” (01:27:30), “Rain” (01:30:30) & “New American Language” (01:33:00; Dan Bern). “Everyone Hates his Parents” (02:20:00, Falsettoland 1991 off-Bway cast w/ Chip Zien). “Morning is Broken” (02:23:00), “California Earthquake” (02:36:00), “Like Lovers Do” (02:42:30), “Are You Ready to be Heartbroken?” (02:49:00) “Why I Love Country Music” (02:53:30), “Plastic Wood” (03:00:30), “Period Piece” (03:05:30), “Rattlesnakes” (03:10:30) & It’s Late” (04:12:30; Lloyd Cole). “Queen Jane Approximately” (03:41:30), “Joey” (03:48:30) & “I Want You” (03:57:30; Bob Dylan & The Grateful Dead).

(pictured: Lloyd Cole, Dan Bern, Dylan & The Dead, idiots.)

Dave’s Gone By Interview (2/7/2015): LLOYD COLE & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews musician Lloyd Cole

Topics include: music, hernias, marriage.

Segment scheduled for March 21, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #115 (2/1/2015): Letters, I Get Letters

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #115 (2/1/2015): Letters, I Get Letters

aired Jan. 31, 2015 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/9h85v4ZV3lY

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of February 1st, 2015.

(sings) Letters, I get letters. Actually, I don’t get letters. I get emails and tweets and instant messages and the occasional bomb threat. And while it’s true that people only write to you for two reasons: to complain–or it’s your birthday—either way, I am happy to be acknowledged and on the radar, so to speak. It’s like an actor: you can get great scripts or you can get Vin Diesel scripts; it’s all good . . . until the phone stops ringing.

Well, my proverbial phone has been ringing off the proverbial hook, so I thought I would share some of these messages with you, my proverbial congregation. Now, I was terribly broken up last week by the death of Joe Franklin. Legendary talk-show host, magnificent New York character, and more than a passing acquaintance of my good friend Dave, who hosts the Dave’s Gone By radio program, of which I assume you are familiar. Joe came to my stage show, “Shalom Dammit!”, when it was at the Roy Arias Theater in Times Square a couple of years ago. Joe stayed through both acts, he applauded, I think he was eating a tomato—but he did not throw it—and he said very nice things about me and my performance.

But even if he hadn’t, there will never be another like Joe Franklin, who carved out his niche—which sounds both erotic and painful—and made a life in show business for seven decades. I should only be so lucky. I’m already so short.

So in the spirit of Joe’s eccentricity and sly obliviousness, I took to Twitter and wrote this message: quote, Joe Franklin was a legend, and I’m proud that he came to my stage show, “Shalom Dammit!”. Then, after the show, we both raped Sarah Silverman.” Unquote.

I know, shocking. How could I possibly fit all that information into 140 characters on Twitter? But more to the point, how could I make a joke about sexually assaulting the best-looking Jewish comedienne since Totie Fields still walked on twos? So a lady wrote to my Facebook page to opine that, quote, “Rape is not a joke punchline.” I guess she never met Bill Cosby. “I love your posts,” the woman said, “but this one is VERY OFFENSIVE!” She put that in capital letters, I guess because she knows my eyesight tends to fail right in the middle of messages. Very thoughtful. She also worried about, quote, a backlash against me and this radio program. Thank you, ma’am, but in order to have a backlash, I first have to have a lash. I don’t have enough followers for an eyelash!

But seriously, for those of you, like this worried woman, who thought my joke was off the grid, you do have to keep in mind that it was Sarah Silverman who started the ball rolling in the first place. She was in that movie, “The Aristocrats,” where all these comedians tell different versions of a long, scatological joke about a showbiz family and their disgusting, depraved, sick and kinky exploits . . . basically the Palins. So Sarah Silverman is in there, and she does her own twist on this twisted joke, one that implicates Joe Franklin by name, accusing him of sexual molestation. Cue the giggles.

To be fair, Joe didn’t find it funny, and he contemplated suing her for defamation of character. Joe’s friends and colleagues reminded him that she was just kidding, and he should lighten up, and that, really, he had no character. But seriously, the rape joke was hers, she put it out there, making it fair game for my tweetmaking.

Which does point to a larger issue: the idea that rape is never funny and can never be funny under any circumstance. Same with the Holocaust, 9/11, retarded people and Nelson Mandela. If you’re like this woman who wrote to me, you can’t possibly find anything amusing, ever, about any of those four things: Holocaust, 9/11, retards, Mandela. If you’re like me, you’re already picturing a retarded Nelson Mandela trying to fly a plane into the World Trade Center, but he’s brain damaged so he crashes into Elie Wiesel’s house by accident.

Anything and everything is fair game depending on time, context, delivery and audience. When Michael Richards used the “n” word at that comedy club years ago, he wasn’t wrong for trying; he simply misjudged the material and the crowd. I use the “n” word in my sermons all the time, and everyone laughs and laughs. Except the janitor.

But moving on to my next letter, this one comes from Marie, an elderly lady in South Florida, or, as I like to call it, Israel East. Marie is responding to my Rabbinical Reflection about the slaughter at Charlie Hebdo magazine. Says Marie, quote, “I couldn’t agree with your comments on Islam more. The Paris thing makes me sick. I don’t like Charlie Hebdo, but I don’t think one should kill someone for cartooning.” Unquote. One time I came close with “Ren and Stimpy,” but I got over it.

Marie goes on to say that “People don’t know history! They act,” she says, “as if Israel went to battle to take over the West Bank instead of being attacked. The problem goes all the way back to the Middle Ages, when the Muslims tried to take over the world. They made it all the way up to France until they were stopped in the Battle of Tours in 732.” Personally, I thought the Battle of Tours was 1965 when the Rolling Stones were trying to out-sell the Beatles, but I digress.

“Why is it,” writes Marie, “that in Paris, the Jewish Museum has to have antechambers and all sorts of protection, but the huge Arab Institute needs no protection?” Maybe it can’t fit the condom over the dome. “Why are we not hearing in the news,” continues Marie, “about Muslims from North Africa trafficking humans and, if caught on the seas, killing them?” I dunno, Marie, maybe because they’re not inadequately trained police officers.

And finally, says Marie, “If the Western World is so bad, why are all these Muslims here, or coming here? And why are we not hearing about the consistent, casual rapes by Palestinians in North England?”

Good point, Marie, although I’m not sure what a casual rape is. It’s like, “Hey, baby, I kinda wanna rape you, but, you know, no strings, and I don’t want you to wake up in the morning and feel weird about it. And for god sakes, don’t tell my friends because they think I’m still raping my ex.”

Oh no, oh no! I made a rape joke. Which, for some people, renders me worse than those who are out there actually committing such crimes. Sorry, but no comparison. And besides, if unwanted sexual advances are never funny, how come when I pull down my pants at night, my wife starts laughing?

Thank you, by the way, for your letters and comments, which you can send to shalomdammit@aol.com, that’s shalomdammit@aol.com, or find me on Facebook at Sol Solomon, or twitter me at RabbiSolSolomon or, best of all, leave me alone; I have a deadline for a fan fiction piece I’m writing about Mayim Bialik being violated by Prince Andrew. It’s hot . . . and funny.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=27462

Dave’s Gone By #495 (1/31/2015): IRON ORR

click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 495th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Jan. 31, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with author and activist Valery Orr (“Bar None”). Plus: Rabbi Sol answers his mail, Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (Lloyd Cole, disappointment), The Wretched Pun of Destiny (Egypt), Dylan – Sooner & Later (aarp), Crime Time.

Guests: author Valery Orr, Dave’s wife, Joyce Weil

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce Weil (bagel dog, ankle dream)
00:26:30 CRIME TIME
00:47:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Lloyd Cole
01:07:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Valery Orr
02:08:00 Sponsors
02:18:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:43:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #115 (Letters, I Get Letters)
02:53:00 Friends
03:00:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (AARP)
03:25:30 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY (Egypt)
03:27:30 SATURDAY SEGUE (Low Expectations)
03:32:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 31, 2015 Playlist: “Love You So What” (00:48:00), “Undressed” (00:51:00), “You Will Never Be No Good” (00:54:00) & “No More Love Songs” (00:57:00) & “Winter’s Retreat” (01:00:00; Lloyd Cole). “Don’t Be Denied” (02:00:30) & “Mr. Disappointment” (03:39:00; Neil Young). “Mister Snow” (02:40:00; Carousel Broadway cast w/ Audra McDonald). “Foot of Pride” (03:02:30), “Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee” (03:08:00) & “Forever Young” (03:16:00; Bob Dylan). “My Back Pages” (03:13:00; The Byrds). “What a Letdown” (03:35:00; Barenaked Ladies). “I’ve Been Let Down” (03:44:00; Mazzy Star). “No Expectations” (03:47:00; The Rolling Stones). “Joe Franklin Show Theme Song (12th Street Rag)” (04:03:30).

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/31/2015): VALERY ORR & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews author Valery Orr

Topics include: “Bar None”, law, discrimination

Segment aired Jan. 31, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #494 (1/24/2015): HALP IS ON THE WAY

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Here is the 494th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Jan. 24, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave chats with screenwriter Philip Halprin. Plus: Inside Broadway, Crime Time, The Wretched Pun of Destiny (broccoli), Dylan – Sooner & Later (stay with me), Saturday Segue (Warren Zevon).

Guests: screenwriter Philip Halprin, Dave’s wife Joyce Weil

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce Weil (birthday meal, ramekin, radio training day, staying out of touch)
00:25:00 CRIME TIME
01:03:30 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN w/ Joyce Weil (women’s basketball)
01:55:30 Sponsors
02:02:00 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:24:30 GUEST: Philip Halprin
03:44:30 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #23 (broccoli)
03:48:00 Friends
03:56:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (stay with me)
04:26:00 Weather
04:27:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 24, 2015 Playlist: “Trouble Waiting to Happen” (01:37:00), “Numb as a Statue” (01:41:00), “Tule’s Blues” (01:45:00) & “Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead” (01:48:30; Warren Zevon). “Midnight Radio” (02:21:00; Hedwig and the Angry Inch 2007 Australian cast w/ Blazey Best). “Stay with Me” (04:24:30 & 04:31:00) & “What was it You Wanted” (04:10:30; Bob Dylan). “Stay with Me” (04:07:00; Frank Sinatra). “Wanted Man” ({live}; 04:15:30; Johnny Cash).

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/24/2015): PHILIP HALPRIN

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews screenwriter Philip Halprin

Topics include: Snow Dogs, The In-Crowd, The Wild, New York University, University of Southern California, film.

Segment aired Jan. 24, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #493 (1/17/2015): KC AT THE BAT

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Here is the 493rd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio Jan. 17, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with musician Harry Wayne Casey (KC and the Sunshine Band), Plus: Greeley Crime Beat, Inside Broadway (Ervin Drake), Saturday Segues (Susanna Hoffs, Jan. 1964), The Wretched Pun of Destiny (producer), Dylan – Sooner & Later (Tim Drummond).

host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: Harry Wayne Casey (of KC and the Sunshine Band), Dave’s wife, Joyce Weil

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce Weil (disco, nebula & horror, tattoos)
00:36:00 GREELEY CRIME BEAT
00:55:30 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN w/ Joyce Weil
01:15:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Susanna Hoffs
01:49:00 Sponsors
01:55:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (news, Ervin Drake (02:12:30))
02:25:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Harry Wayne Casey
03:35:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (Tim Drummond)
04:01:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #21 (Producer)
04:03:00 Friends
04:15:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – January 1964
04:32:30 Weather
04:34:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Jan. 17, 2015 Playlist: “Wishing on Telstar” (01:30:30; Susanna Hoffs), “James” (01:34:30) & “Grateful” (01:40:30; The Bangles), “Sunday Morning” (01:37:00; Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs). “Overture” (02:15:30; Sophisticated Ladies Bway cast). “The Friendliest Thing” (02:20:30; What Makes Sammy Run? 1964 Bway cast w/ Sally Ann Howes). “Sound Your Funky Horn” (02:23:00), “I Like to Do It” (02:31:30), “That’s the Way (I Like It)” (02:39:00), “Keep it Comin’ Love” (02:57:30), “Please Don’t Go” (03:12:30) & “Shake Your Booty” (03:24:00). “Saved” (03:41:30), “Gonna Change My Way of Thinking” (03:45:30) & “The Groom’s Still Waiting at the Altar” (03:50:30; Bob Dylan). “Glad All Over” (04:16:30; The Dave Clark Five). “Before the Parade Passes By” (04:19:30; Hello, Dolly! 1964 Bway cast w/ Carol Channing). “Don’t Bother Me” (04:22:30; The Beatles). “Needles and Pins” (04:25:00; The Searchers). “You Better Move On” (04:27:00; The Rolling Stones). “It was a very Good Year” (04:39:00; William Shatner).