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Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #037 (5/23/2015): WANG CHOW

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The 37th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired May 23, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

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37.
College student Wang Chow is starting to see his grades slip and his GPA threatened because of his terrible problem with sex addiction. The more he promises to study, the more he finds himself compulsively chasing women, watching porn and giving himself over to pleasures of the flesh.

Ashamed, he confesses to his academic advisor, who suggests that religion might be a solution. Wang Chow tries Buddhism, but that doesn’t work. He then studies to be a Catholic, but no luck there, either. He goes through a half-dozen different religions before turning to Orthodox Judaism. For weeks, Wang Chow concentrates on keeping Kosher, studying Torah, going to synagogue—leaving him no time to sink back into addiction.

However, whenever he gets a few minutes free, Wang Chow still feels urges, so he finds the nearest private place and starts masturbating, several times a day. At first, he keeps his weakness a secret, but he feels so guilty that one day he visits the Rabbi in his study and says, “Rabbi, I no good. I do bad thing.”

“What do you mean?” says the Rebbe. “You’ve so sincere on the road to conversion. What’s wrong?”

Wang Chow whispers his dirty secret. “And you can’t control it?” says the Rabbi. The young man shakes his head.

“Wait,” says the Rebbe. “In the main office I have the book, `Kosher Sex,’ and there’s sure to be a chapter in there that’ll help.”

So the Rabbi excuses himself and heads to the office. After a minute, Wang Chow starts getting antsy. After two minutes, he’s breathing heavily and his heart is pounding. By the third minute, his pants are down around his ankles, and he’s rubbing one out to a poster of Jerusalem.

The Rabbi comes back just in time to see this and says, “Oy! I know you warned me, but this is too much. Even though you follow all our customs, you’re not ready to convert if you’re always doing this!”

“I know,” sobs Wang Chow, “I sorry! I Beat Off More than I Good Jew.”

Dave’s Gone By #510 (5/23/2015): THE FIRST STRAW

click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 510th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, May 23, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with musician Syd Straw. Plus: Inside Broadway, The Wretched Pun of Destiny (Wang Chow), Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection (Harry Shearer), Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Dylan – Sooner & Later (Letterman), Saturday Segue (John Fogerty).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guests: singer-songwriter Syd Straw, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (coupon, The Madding Crowd, Straw, WKRP, kazoo)
00:31:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:10:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – John Fogerty
01:28:00 Sponsors
01:33:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #125 – Harry Shearer
01:38:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:59:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #37 – Wang Chow
02:02:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Syd Straw
03:29:00 Promo – The Miracle of Long Johns
03:38:30 DAVE GOES OFF – David Letterman
03:47:00 MY SICK MIND – David Letterman
03:49:30 Friends
03:59:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later
04:26:00 Thanks
04:29:30 Weather
04:32:00 DAVE GOES OUT

May 23, 2015 playlist: “Rain” (00:07:00; Terence Trent D’Arby). “Whole Lotta Love” (01:02:00; Temple City Kazoo Orchestra). “The Fragile Child” (01:15:00; The Golliwogs). “Down on the Corner” ({live}; 01:17:30) & “Who’ll Stop the Rain” (01:23:30; Creedence Clearwater Revival). “Long as I Can See the Light” (01:20:00; Ted Hawkins). “One Jump Ahead” (01:57:00; Aladdin 2014 Bway cast w/ Adam Jacobs). “The Toughest Woman in the World” (02:02:00) & “Angels” (02:14:30; The Golden Palominos w/ Syd Straw). “Kind of True” (02:23:00), “CBGB’s” (02:35:30), “Pink Velour” (02:52:30), “Marry Me” (03:11:30), “My Ship Comes In” (03:23:30) & “Golden Dreams” (04:34:30; Syd Straw). “7 1/2 Cents” (02:48:00; “The Pajama Game” {soundtrack} w/ Jack Straw). “Jokerman” ({live}, 04:04:00), “Like a Rolling Stone” ({live Isle of Wight version}, “Don’t Start Me Talking” (04:15:00) & “The Night We Called it a Day” (04:17:30; Bob Dylan).

Bob Dylan & David Letterman–the night they called it a day

Dave’s Gone By Interview (5/16/2015): BETSY McFARLAND & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews the daughter of Spanky McFarland, Betsy McFarland

Topics include: Our Gang, The Little Rascals, Stymie, cancer, Michael Jackson

Segment scheduled to air May 16, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By #509 (5/16/2015): SPANK YOU VERY MUCH

Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, May 16, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with Betsy McFarland, Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflection (Baby Names), The Wretched Pun of Destiny, My Sick Mind (Amtrak), Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (In the News, Jonathan Richman), Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Dylan – Sooner & Later (Blonde on Blonde).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guest: Betsy McFarland, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (fat Dave, Long Johns, chock full)
00:31:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
00:58:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN (new logo, critic v. critic, csc, crowd funding, trio album)
01:21:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Jonathan Richman
01:37:30 Sponsors
01:46:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #124 – Baby Names
01:51:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:23:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Betsy McFarland
03:38:30 Friends
03:47:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (Blonde on Blonde)
04:14:30 MY SICK MIND – Amtrak
04:20:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #36 – Salk
04:22:00 Weather
04:26:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
04:59:30 DAVE GOES OUT

May 16, 2015 Playlist: “I’m a Little Airplane” (01:24:00), “The Sea was Calling Me Home” (01:26:30), “She Cracked” (01:28:00), “Her Mystery Not of High Heels and Eye Shadow” (01:31:00) & “Buzz Buzz Buzz” (01:33:30; Jonathan Richman). “Welcome to the Renaissance” (02:18:30; Something Rotten! 2015 Broadway cast). “Pledging My Time” (03:52:30) & “Absolutely Sweet Marie” (03:56:30; Bob Dylan). “Just Like a Woman” (04:01:30; Nina Simone). “Electric Chair” (04:28:30; The Scottsboro Boys 2010 Bway cast). “Song for David” (04:32:30; Joan Baez). “Loco Man” (04:37:30; “A Mighty Wind” soundtrack w/ Harry Shearer). “Casey Jones” (04:39:30; The Grateful Dead). “There Must Be a Better World Somewhere” (04:44:00) & “I’m Movin’ On” (05:02:00; B.B. King).

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #036 (5/16/2015): SALK

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The 36th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired May 16, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

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36
One afternoon, early in his career, Jonas Salk is so busy with his medical research that he forgets it’s Valentine’s Day. When a lab technician reminds him, Salk drops everything, runs to his car, and picks up his wife to give her a whirlwind romantic evening.

First, he stops at a florist and buys her a long-stemmed red rose. Then he brings her to an ice-cream parlor and gives her a strawberry cone—her favorite. Finally, he drives her to his lab and exhibits all his petri dishes, telling her, “one day this will change the world!”

His wife hugs him and says, “Jonas, I love you. But I have to say, this was a very unusual Valentine’s itinerary.”

“I know,” smiles the scientist. “I call it my `Spanish dinner plan.”

“Spanish dinner?” says Mrs. Salk. “You gave me a flower, an ice-cream cone, and a vaccine.

What does that have to do with Spanish food?”

“Darling,” Salk replies. “Haven’t you ever heard of A Rose Cone Polio?”

Dave’s Gone By #508 (5/9/2015): WINNING STREAK

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Here is the 508th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, May 9, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with musician Ray Stevens. Plus: Inside Broadway, The Wretched Pun of Destiny (weightlifter), Saturday Segues (Billy Joel, In the News), Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Dylan – Sooner & Later (Ray songs).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guests: singer-songwriter Ray Stevens, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (indoor graduation, streaking, The Miracle of Long Johns)
00:31:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:00:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN w/ Joyce (Etan Patz, rain)
01:06:30 Weather
01:09:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Billy Joel
01:29:00 Sponsors
01:36:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (news (01:36:00) & review (The Audience (01:51:00))
02:13:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Ray Stevens
03:10:30 Technical Difficulties
03:14:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #35 – Weightlifter
03:16:30 Friends
03:27:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later – Ray Words
03:55:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
04:16:00 Thanks
04:18:30 DAVE GOES OUT – Vin Scelsa

May 9, 2015 Playlist: “Don’t Ask Me Why” (01:15:00), “Everybody Loves You Now” (01:18:00), “Surprise” (01:21:00) & “And So it Goes” (01:24:00; Billy Joel). (“Now” 02:08:30; Tami Muti & Kelli Barrett). “Turn Your Radio On” (02:13:00), “Jeremiah Peabody’s Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolving Fast-Acting Pleasant Tasting Green And Purple Pills (02:24:00), “Misty” (02:30:00), “Gitarzan” (02:36:30), “Everything is Beautiful” (02:42:30), “Taylor Swift is Stalkin’ Me” (02:50:30), “Nashville” (02:59:00) & “The Streak” (03:03:30; Ray Stevens). “Dreamin’ of You” (03:28:30), “A Hard Rain’s a-Gonna Fall” ({1962 Gaslight version}; 03:34:30) & “Bob Dylan’s 115th Dream” (03:41:00; Bob Dylan). “This Tornado Loves You” (Neko Case; 03:56:30). “Pass the Football” (Wonderful Town, 1953 Broadway cast; 03:59:30). “The Spy (Version 2)” (The Doors; 04:02:30). “A Well-Respected Man” (The Kinks). “Goodnight Ladies” (04:26:00; Lou Reed).

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #035 (5/9/2015): WEIGHTLIFTER

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The 35th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired May 9, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

35.
“Doc,” says the professional weightlifter, “ya gotta help me with my problem. Every day, I follow the same routine for lunch and dinner. I eat two bowls of pasta so I can carbo-load, then I pee in a cup for my drug test.”

“Sounds perfectly fine,” says the doctor.

“Wait, this is where it gets weird. As soon as I close the cup, I start having this incredibly hot daydream about that financial woman on TV.”

“Suze Orman?”

“Yeah, her! And before I know it, my knees buckle and my pants get all sticky. It’s killing my energy.”

“Let me get this straight,” says the doctor. “Pasta, pee, Suze Orman fantasy, and then a discharge?”

“Right” says the weightlifter. “Is it serious?”

“Nah,” says the MD. “A lot of musclemen get this. We call it `Larry David Syndrome.’”

“’Larry David Syndrome’? What on earth does it have to do with that guy?”

“Well,” says the doctor, “I guess you’ve never heard of `Carb-Urine-Suzy-Gasm.’”

Dave’s Gone By Interview (5/2/2015): STEVE GOTTLIEB & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews photographer Steve Gottlieb

Topics include: Flush, Washington DC.

Segment aired May 2, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #034 (5/3/2015): OPERETTA

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The 34th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired April 4, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

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34.
On a break from shooting his latest film, Sean Penn flies to Hawaii to visit his favorite relatives: two spinster aunts who have lived together for decades.

Not only are they wonderful ladies, but they’ve done well in business together–right out of their basement–by selling authentic Hawaiian foods like macadamia nuts and poi and spam to customers around the world.

When Sean Penn gets to their house, however, he immediately calls the cops because he smells something bad at the front door. The police break in and make the tragic discovery that both women are dead from carbon monoxide poisoning. To get out of the cops’ way, the actor goes down to the basement–but that just makes him even more distraught because all the food there is infested with mice and vermin.

Soon, the CDC arrives, and neighbors are treated to the sight of health inspectors carrying out living and dead mice covered with remnants of Hawaiian food. One neighbor turns to the other and says, “You know, this makes me think of an operetta.”

“An operetta? What on earth are you talking about?”

“Well,” says the first guy. “haven’t you ever heard of `The Poi-Rats of Penn’s Aunts?”

Dave’s Gone By #507 (5/2/2015): ROYAL FLUSH

click above to listen to the episode (audio only).

Here is the 507th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, May 2, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with photographer Steve Gottlieb (“Flush: Celebrating Bathrooms Past and Present”). Plus: Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflection on Popeyes, Saturday Segues (Ben E. King, In the News), Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (testing), Inside Broadway, The Wretched Pun of Destiny (operetta).

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: photographer Steve Gottlieb, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce Weil (Room C, brain bucket, Vin Scelsa, Fordham)
00:40:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Ben E. King
00:59:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES
01:29:00 Sponsors
01:30:30 DAVE GOES AWAY – New York (MoMa & The Frick)
02:01:00 Sponsors
02:05:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Steve Gottlieb
02:53:00 INSIDE BROADWAY (news (02:53:00) & reviews: The Heidi Chronicles (03:21:30) & The King and I (03:31:00)
03:48:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #34 (operetta)
03:52:30 Weather
03:55:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (testing)
04:16:00 Friends
04:26:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #123 (Popeyes)
04:34:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News
04:54:30 DAVE GOES OUT

“I Count the Tears” (00:44:30) & “This Magic Moment” (00:46:30; (The Drifters). “Supernatural Thing, Part 1” (00:49:00) & “Stand By Me” (00:53:00), “It’s All in the Game” (04:57:00; Ben E. King). “Flushed from the Bathroom of Your Heart” (02:50:30; Johnny Cash). “Hello, Young Lovers” (03:43:30; Renee Fleming). “Born in Time” (03:57:00), “Property of Jesus” (04:01:00), “Maybe Someday” (04:05:30) & “Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window” ({alt. version}, 04:09:00; Bob Dylan). “Good Morning Baltimore” (04:34:00; Hairspray 2002 Broadway cast w/ Marissa Jaret Winokur). “Boxing” (04:38:00; Ben Folds). “Earthquakes” (04:42:30; Luie Luie). “May Day (There’s a Riot Goin’ Down) (04:45:00; Passing Strange 2008 Bway cast w/ Stew). “Dirty Bridge” (04:46:30; Amy Rigby).

Cezanne’s “Pines and Rocks (Fontainebleau?).”