Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/26/04): TERRY SCHREIBER


a1Dave Lefkowitz interviews theatrical producer and director Terry Schreiber

Topics include: theater, T. Schreiber Studios.

Segment originally aired Jan. 26, 2004 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions.

Dave’s Gone By #62 (1/26/04): LANDSCAPE OF THE TERRY


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host: Dave Lefkowitz
guest: acting teacher Terry Schreiber
additional voices: Joyce Weil, Jay Auerfeld, Scott Rodolitz, Diditi Mitra, Bonnie Pinkow, Piero Pellei, Stefanie Pinkow

Featuring: Dave shares audio snippets of his 40th birthday party and chats with acting teacher Terry Schreiber. Plus: the satirical News Gone By.

00:00:00  DAVE GOES IN: Dave’s post-birthday thoughts, with excerpts from the party, Dave’s “birth” (skit from 1/03) and Jay’s birthday
song. Plus Town Hall ticket giveaway.
00:34:00  DAVE’S GOT GUESTS: Director and acting teacher, Terry Schreiber (by phone)
00:56:00  NEWS GONE BY: Screamin’ Dean; Beer Overboard; Leavin’ Dean; Civet Crap; Churchill’s Parrot; double-header; Pope Ebert;
Garfunkel Goes to Pot; Johnny’s Rotten TV
01:16:00  DAVE GOES OUT: Birthday tribute to Lucinda Williams; some thank yous.

January 26, 2004 Playlist: “Happy Birthday David” (Jay Auerfeld, unreleased); “I Live in a Split-Level Head” (Napoleon XIV); “Drunken Angel” & “Sweet Old World” (Lucinda Williams).
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(pictured from top: Terry Schreiber, Jay Auerfeld, Dave.)

Dave’s Gone By #61 (1/19/04): FORTY WINKS


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host: Dave Lefkowitz
Featuring: Dave Goes Off on turning 40 and on working overtime. Plus: The satirical News Gone By and “The Rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald.”

00:00:01  DAVE GOES IN: Turning the Big 4-0.
00:14:00  DAVE GOES OFF: Wages, Overtime, and being quartered and half-dollared in America
00:42:00  NEWS GONE BY: Braun Bows Out; Palestinian Mommy; Punishing Mepham; Fingerbang; Dr. Death; Zoloft; The Governator; Pink Steel; Oui Starbucks; Taco Belle; Kodakrime; Doggy Dancing; Not in My Neighborhood; Roostie (Bad Pun of the Week); Jed Petrick Steps Down; Tabooed; Ted Nugent’s Leg; Bethany Hamilton’s Arm; Death Count 500.
01:20:00  DAVE GOES OUT: Birthday songs & thanks.

January 19, 2004 Playlist: “Tojojo” (Oysten Sewag & Lakki Patey); “The Rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald” & “Ben Gazzara” (Dave, unreleased); “Kodachrome” ({live}; Simon & Garfunkel); “In My Life” (Judy Collins).

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(pictured: Ben Gazzara, pine cone) 

Dave’s Gone By Song (1/19/04): THE RECTUM OF EDMUND FITZGERALD


ZZSong-RectumofEdmundA ballad not-so-loosely based on the Mepham High School sodomy trial on Long Island.

Song aired Jan. 19, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

THE RECTUM OF EDMUND FITZGERALD

by David Lefkowitz

The story did play on News 12 and Newsday
and it filled up the old Nassau Herald
How kids from the school were so vicious and cruel
To the rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald.

The town of Bellmore lies upon the South Shore
On an affluent part of Long Island
They pay a high tax just to keep out the blacks
In the hopes that their kids won’t grow violent.

Now, one such young boy was his mom’s pride and joy
Such a virile and athletic laddie
Like others his age, he thought sports the rage
And he tried to be just like his daddy.

It felt like a dream when young Ed made the team
As a junior varsity halfback
But some other players gave him arrogant stares
He became their continual laughtrack.

He played right along, and he tried to be strong
To show he had no trepidation
It gave him the creeps, but these were his peeps
And he longed for the team’s validation.

He managed all right until one summer night
When the team went to north Pennsylvania
As silent as monks, they all rose from their bunks
as if gripped by a furious mania.

With nary a sound and no coaches around
The older kids pummeled the juvies
They guarded the door while the boys licked the floor
And then squealed like the guy in the movies.

Although that hurt some, there were worse things to come
When the new guys were forced to get naked
The quarterback grinned, “Let the hazing begin!
If you wanna be one of us, take it!”

The torture began all according to plan
With a rhythm like boom-chika-boom-chik
“You better not howl, or we’ll puncture your bowel
With the rubberized end of a broomstick.”

When that part was fun, they continued the fun
Of pine cone and golf ball inserting.
The cavities dripped as the soft tissue ripped
And the feces and blood began spurting.

The victims were warned they’d be punished and scorned
If they told any parents or teachers.
But by the next game, they were still hurt and shamed
You could see the red stains from the bleachers.

The season was stopped and the scholarships dropped
And the town became crazed and divided
A few sent regrets, the others—death threats
Till lawyers and cops were provided.

The rumors did spread from Rosedale to Riverhead
How a team went from scrimmage to Sodom
And poor Edmund cried when a splinter was pried
From the extra-large width of his bottom.

So now there’s a judge who will go through the sludge
Of how innocent boys were imperiled.
The legend will spread like the legs of poor Ed
and the rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald.
The rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald.

©2004 David Lefkowitz

Dave’s Gone By Interview (1/12/04): KAREN GRASSLE

a1Dave Lefkowitz interviews actress Karen Grassle

Topics include: Little House on the Prairie, television.

Segment originally aired Jan. 12, 2004 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #60 (1/12/04): LITTLE HOUSE ON THE RADIO


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host: Dave Lefkowitz
guest: actress Karen Grassle (“Little House on the Prairie”)

Featuring: Dave chats with actress Karen Grassle (“Little House on the Prairie”). Plus the satirical News Gone By and a birthday tribute to Howard Stern.

00:00:01  DAVE GOES IN: Nostalgia, wobbly webstreams and Greeting Grassle
00:14:00  DAVE’S GOT GUESTS: Karen Grassle.
00:55:00  NEWS GONE BY: Hispandering; Sorry Wrong Hillary; Seeing Mars; Sperm Counts; McDonald’s Gets Healthy; Cow vs. Fish; George Harrison’s Doctor; Fire and Lice (Bad Pun of the Week); Polish Riot; Pickled Pike; Eye Spy.
01:05:00  DAVE GOES OUT: Birthday tribute to Howard Stern; Thank yous.

January 12, 2004 Playlist: “Unclean Beaver, Episode II” (Howard Stern).

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(em>(pictured: Karen Grassle, Howard Stern)

Dave’s Gone By #59 (1/5/04): OH FOUR HEAVEN’S SAKE!


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host: Dave Lefkowitz

Featuring: Dave Goes Off on the New Year. Plus: the satirical News Gone By, and tributes to David Bowie’s birthday and black & white M&Ms.

00:00:01  DAVE GOES IN: A quiet new year, an email onslaught, and the beauty of radio.
00:24:00  NEWS GONE BY: Terrorism Chess; Ben Franklin – Terrorist; Arts Funding; Iranian Mirthquake; Swingline Dollah-Dollah; Oyster Solidarity; Frivolous Lawsuit Time (Playground Mishap); McDonald’s Spilling & Starbucks Burning; Jets and Sharks; Dead Man Dangling (Bad Pun of the Week); Adios Ephedra; M&Ms in B&W; The Inc; My Big Fat Obnoxious Title; Croc Teaser; Bull on the Highway; Steinbrenner Faints; When a Bee Smells Blood; The Toilet Bowl; Food Chain Barbie.
01:10:00  DAVE GOES OUT: Birthday tribute to David Bowie; Thank Yous.

Playlist: “Five Years,” “Fantastic Voyage,” “Golden Years” & “Heroes” (David Bowie), “Coffee in a Cardboard Cup” (The World Goes `Round off-Broadway cast recording); “B-Side” ({live version}; Loudon Wainwright III); “B&W M&Ms” (Dave).

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(2004, David Bowie, M&Ms)