September 2013 – Dave's Gone By

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #77 (9/29/2013): Syria

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #77 (9/29/2013): Syria

Aired Sept. 28, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/gNnmz3d-hMMs

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of September 29th, 2013.

Let us spin the wheel of the Arab world to find out which country is in chaos today. (spin sound) Oh boy, will it be Egypt, Lebanon? Iran? Maybe Iraq? No, it’s Syria! They’d been quiet for so many years, you could almost forget it was a Muslim country. But no, as the song goes, there’s always something there to remind me. In this case, a poison-gas attack that happened a month ago while the government was trying to put down a revolution.

President Bashar al-Assad denied using chemical weapons, he denied having chemical weapons, he denied knowing what chemical weapons even were – until the U.S. threatened air strikes, and suddenly he’s all, “Ohh!, you said CHEMICAL weapons, I thought you said chemical WEAPONS. Yeah, we have a few of those, lemme load up the U.N. truck.”

Now, when news leaked of the gas attack – and when you have a gas-attack leak, you better change your underpants – the first reaction was war. President Obama – not the right-wing Republicans, but the so-called soft-on-terrorism schvartze Democrat in the White House – he was the one saying, “load up the planes; let’s send a message.”

And then the debate began: If Assad is using chemical weapons, that’s bad. But he’s not using them on us. So that’s good. We’ve got our own problems. But if Assad has the weapons he denied having, and he killed the 1400 people he blamed the rebels for killing, then he could someday use the gas on us, which is bad. So we can start bombing him now, which is good. But then, to make sure he doesn’t rebuild, we have to put soldiers on the ground, which is bad. And, let’s face it, every time we get involved in another country’s military politics, the results are a Jerry Lewis movie played in slow motion. In the end, Jerry survives and even gets to smooch Connie Stevens, but not before destroying the hotel and getting stung by 370 bees.

As “can’t win” situations go, this one’s a doozy. If America fails to act after Obama’s tough words, we’re perceived as all talk and no action – like the first half hour of lesbian porn. But if we go in with strategic missiles, we put our soldiers in danger, we open ourselves up to reprisals, and we get half of Europe going wah wah wah, you didn’t ask us first. Pass the diapers before we wet ourselves.”

And then there’s precedent. By that I mean the precedent of the predecessor President. He went to Congress with bogus proof that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. Congress listened – because back then, the idea of checks and balances was almost actually functional – they believed Dubya Bush, and boom, there we were in Baghdad for ten long years. Who can blame the House and Senate for making sure Barack isn’t full of the same bologna?

Lucky for us, Russia – of all places – Russia steps up and says, let’s give Assad a chance to turn the weapons over peacefully. He’s been a naughty boy, but even he knows getting your country blown up by Uncle Sam is even worse than getting blitzed by rebels. The hard part is figuring out whether Assad is telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help him Allah? Is he surrendering 99.9 percent of his chemicals? 89 percent? 39? I mean, let’s say the owner of a Dunkin Donuts franchise wins Lotto. Yes, he sells the store lock, stock and bagel, but he also keeps a few crullers in reserve, just in case.

Folks, in my Rabbinical Reflections, I have made no secret of my fear and my distrust of the Arab nations. They have caused great harm to my people – Americans – and, of course, to Israel. Any opportunity to stop the AlQaedification of the world is an almost irresistible temptation. And if you tell me that the Syrian government killed 1400 Syrians, well, I am so far beyond giving a rat’s ass that many a rat will go assless for decades to come. Still, the method by which Assad eliminated his own people cannot be ignored – especially by Jews, who know that gas is a pretty wretched way to die. That, and listening to the Jonas Brothers.

But I hope we learned from 9/11 that fights are like noses; you have to pick them carefully. So let’s give Assad a chance to prove that he doesn’t want to be the next Hosni Mubarak, let alone Saddam Hussein. If he chokes, well, at least he knows what his victims felt like.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

Dave’s Gone By Interview (9/28/2013): BRIAN GARI & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews songwriter Brian Gari

Topics include: Eddie Cantor, Late Nite Comic, songwriting, Neil Sedaka, George Carlin, George Jessel, Joe Franklin.

Segment aired Sept. 28, 2013 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #439 (9/28/2013): EARLY MORNING COMIC

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Here is the 439th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Sept. 28, 2013. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with songwriter Brian Gari (Late Nite Comic). Plus: Inside Broadway, Saturday Segue (October), Rabbi Sol on Syria, Dylan – Sooner & Later (mood swings).

Guests: songwriter Brian Gari, Joyce

00:00:01 Pre-Show
00:03:30 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce
00:34:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – October
00:59:00 Sponsors
01:01:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:29:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Brian Gari
02:51:30 Friends
02:55:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (mood swings)
03:08:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #077 – Syria
03:14:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Sept. 28, 2013 Playlist: “October Winds” (00:35:00; The Clancy Brothers). “August October” (00:37:30; Robin Gibb). “Song of Brown October Ale” (00:40:00; Michael Van Engen, Earl Rivers & Cincinnati’s University Singers). “When October Goes” (00:42:30; Nancy Wilson). “October” (00:46:30; U2). “October Song” (00:49:00; The Incredible String Band). “October Song” (00:53:00; Amy Winehouse). “Gooch’s Song” (01:24:00; Mame 1966 Bway cast w/ Jane Connell). “He’s an Old Cat” (01:27:30), “My Dad” (01:34:30), “The California Dream” (01:45:00) & “While They’re Still Here” (02:42:00; Brian Gari). “Stand Up” (02:11:30) & “Late Nite Comic” (02:45:30; Late Nite Comic 2007 20th Anniversary recording w/ Chip Zien & Rupert Holmes). “Baby, I’m in the Mood for You” (02:56:30), “When I Got Troubles” (02:59:30) & “Cold Irons Bound” (03:01:00; Bob Dylan). “Can We Go Home Now?” (03:15:00; The Roches).

Dave’s Gone By Interview (9/21/2013): CHARLIE McCOY

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews legendary musician Charlie McCoy

Topics include: Bob Dylan, Blonde on Blonde, Elvis Presley, Roy Orbison, Leonard Cohen, Johnny Cash, harmonica.

Segment aired Sept. 21, 2013 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Dave’s Gone By #438 (9/21/2013): GOOD TIME CHARLIE

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Here is the 438th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Sept. 21, 2013. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Guest: Charlie McCoy.
Featuring: Dave chats with veteran musician Charlie McCoy; Inside Broadway; Saturday Segue (Leonard Cohen).

00:00:01 Pre-Show
00:06:00 DAVE GOES IN – Lousy Summer
00:22:30 DAVE GOES OFF – No Potato Day
00:34:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Leonard Cohen
01:07:30 Sponsors
01:19:00 GUEST: Charlie McCoy
02:41:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
02:55:00 Friends
03:00:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – After the Flood
03:11:00 Weather & Thanks
03:13:00 DAVE GOES OUT

Sept. 21, 2013 Playlist: “By the Rivers Dark” (00:35:00), “Our Lady of Solitude” (00:40:30), “Seems So Long Ago, Nancy” (00:49:30) & “Hallelujah” {live version} (00:53:00; Leonard Cohen). “Tower of Song” (Leonard Cohen & U2; 00:43:30). “I’ll Be Your Baby, Tonight” (01:16:30), “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35” (01:26:30), “Desolation Row” (excerpt; 01:33:30), “Obviously Five Believers” (02:20:00), “Blue Moon” (Bob Dylan; 02:27:30). “Candy Man” (01:39:00; Roy Orbison). “Big Boss Man” (01:42:00; Elvis Presley). “The Boxer” (01:50:30; Simon & Garfunkel). “Baby” (01:58:00; Wilma Burgess). “Orange Blossom Special” (02:02:00), “Smooth Sailing” (02:13:00) & “Sticks and Stones” (02:33:00; Charlie McCoy). “He Stopped Loving Her Today” (02:07:00; George Jones). “I Know a Girl” (02:53:30; Chicago 1996 Bway cast w/ Bebe Neuwirth). “Here Comes the Flood” (03:00:00; Divine Comedy). “Theme from Flood” (03:04:30; They Might Be Giants). “Noah: Right” (03:05:30; Bill Cosby). “Mr. Noah” (03:08:30; Dave van Ronk). “This River Will Never Run Dry” (03:14:30; Moose).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #76 (9/8/2013): Fast Food on Strike

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #76 (9/8/2013): Fast Food on Strike

Aired Sept. 7, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/kI3UH0aafJI

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of September 8th, 2013.

“Do you want fries with that? No problem, give me 15 dollars.”

That is the call of the disenfranchised franchise worker. The people employed at Burger King, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Arby’s, Shloimy’s, Moishy’s – all the fast-food restaurants. They are weary of working for $7.40 per hour, which, if you can believe it, is 15 cents above the Federal minimum wage. In other words, someone laboring at a fast-food joint, full time, all week long, makes $15,000 a year, before taxes, no benefits, no 401K, but presumably all the unserved McNuggets they can eat. And so, around the country, the flippers and the grillers and the moppers and the servers are now strikers.

Who works harder than chain-food employees? They sweep the floors, clean the fryers, shpritz the special sauce, and deal with irate customers who throw tantrums when you forget the pickles. Room for advancement, to move up the grease-mottled ladder of success? Sure, for an extra dollar an hour, you get to manage all the other hostile, hopeless kids stuck in the same nowhere job. Not only do you have the honor of hearing customers bitch about everything, your fellow employees hate you for being management. All this for a salary that buys you two caramel macchiatos at Starbucks, where at least they give their workers health benefits.

I don’t care if the boss flumps a girl in a chair, hands her a magazine and says, “Just take a message if the phone rings.” Even that is taking an hour of time out of her life and deserves more than seven measly bucks an hour. Or eight. Or – oh my goodness – New York State voted to bring it up to nine – by the end of 2015! Thank you politicians! Should we bend over and bite the pillow or just sink to our knees in supplication?

As someone who lives and works on Long Island, where property taxes on a small house are 10 grand a year, the very idea that humans are still paid less than $10 an hour to do ANYTHING absolutely staggers me. That some politicians and businessmen fight against increases in the basic minimum wage staggers me double! “Oh,” they say, “if I raise the minimum wage, I won’t be able to hire as many people.” You know who faced that same problem? Pharoah! And his solution worked for a few decades until his employees rose up and marched out. And they knew about fast food, too. They hadda leave so quick, they ditched the sesame-seed buns and made matzoh instead. If you can’t afford to pay people something that keeps them in shoes, you should probably give them the shop and go work in Burger King, cause at least it’s steady.

Some folks defend low wages because these are quote-unquote “entry-level” jobs. It’s just high school students earning mall money or old people who are bored sitting at home, so they go to KFC where the action is. Leaving aside the fact that since the recession, thousands of workers have swallowed their pride to take any job, including stuffing a substance that looks vaguely like meat into Taco Bell tortillas. Leaving aside that some people take a minimum-wage second job only because they can’t pay their bills from their insufficient first job. Let’s even say for argument’s sake that your typical fast-food drudge is 15 years old, living rent-free with his parents, and not financially responsible for anything but his deodorant and iTunes downloads. Suppose this fine young man wants to take his girlfriend to the movies on a Saturday night. That’s gas in the car, parking, two movie tickets, two giant sodas, one big popcorn (and a penknife to make a schmeckel-sized hole in the bottom of it), a condom and/or a packet of handiwipes. He is looking at sixty bucks just to feel a girl’s boobs, and she may not even have boobs yet.

It is my considered opinion that any business owner netting upwards of, say, $60,000 a year who doesn’t believe that his workers are worth more than minimum wage should be shot in the face. Just as a wakeup call.

Most fast-food restaurants are publicly traded companies, so we know how much the CEO takes home, the VPs, the Vice-VPs, the shareholders, and the fry cooks and janitors. In 2010, out of $24 billion in revenue, McDonald’s netted $4.9 billion in profit. Because of this, the CEO took home almost $9 million in salary. Sorry for throwing all these numbers at you, but catch this one: that salary is almost 600 times more than that of a full-time slave at minimum wage.

Now that the economy has improved from quicksand to mud, the rank-and-file worker wakes up to remember he has needs, he has dignity, he has rights. He knows he has to work for a living, but that’s the key word: a living. Living means paying the rent, feeding the kids, getting your teeth cleaned and your blood pressure checked, going to sleep without worrying how you’ll pay for school supplies, or heat, and maybe even taking a week and staying at a Howard Johnson’s in Pensacola, Florida. If that means Horace Vanderbastard the III can’t customize his mistress’ yacht, so be it.

Good luck, fast food fighters. March on Mickey D’s. Boycott Burger King. Choke the Kentucky Fried Chicken. No, wait, that came out wrong, but you know what I mean. This isn’t about socialism. It’s not about destroying the free-market economy; that’s what cable companies are for. No, this is about fairness, about reasonable compromise, about people feeling pride in what they do and value in what they get. Yes, I’ll certainly take fries with that.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from the woefully underpaid Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

Dave’s Gone By Interview (9/7/2013): LEE BLESSING

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews playwright Lee Blessing

Topics include: A Walk in the Woods, Eleemosynary, theater, TV, A User’s Guide to Hell.

Segment aired Sept. 7, 2013 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By #437 (9/7/2013): COUNT YOUR BLESSING

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Here is the 437th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, Sept. 7, 2013. Info: davesgoneby.com.

Featuring: Dave’s chat with playwright Lee Blessing. Also: Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (Aimee Mann & Chrissie Hynde), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (love & theft under the hard rain), Rabbi Sol Solomon on fast-food strikers & more!

Host: Dave Lefkowitz

Guests: playwright Lee Blessing, Dave’s wife Joyce

00:00:01 Pre-show
00:00:45 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce
00:09:30 DAVE & JOYCE – Uncle Grandpa (00:10:00), Alzheimer’s Walk (00:24:00), Potato Day (00:31:00)
00:53:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Aimee Mann
01:22:30 INSIDE BROADWAY
01:35:00 GUEST: Lee Blessing
02:19:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later – love & theft under the hard rain
02:43:00 Weather & Friends
02:48:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #76 – Fast- Food Strikers
02:55:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Chrissie Hynde
03:06:30 DAVE GOES OUT

Sept. 7, 2013 Playlist: “That’s the Way You Are” (00:53:00), “Nightmare Girl” (01:04:30) & “Just Like Anyone” (01:11:30; Aimee Mann). “Rip in Heaven” (00:57:30), “Angel on Vacation” (01:01:00), “Voices Carry” (`Til Tuesday). “Give Me Your Face” (01:08:30; The Young Snakes). “I Don’t Care Much” (Cabaret 1998 Bway cast w/ Alan Cumming; 01:32:00). “Under the Red Sky” (02:21:00), “High Water” (02:25:30), “Shelter from the Storm” ({live, Hard Rain version}, 02:29:30), “10,000 Men” (02:35:00) & “I Threw it All Away” (02:39:00; Bob Dylan). “My Baby” (02:55:00), “Tattooed Love Boys” (02:59:30), “You Didn’t Have To” (03:02:00) & “The English Roses” (03:10:00; The Pretenders).

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #75 (9/1/2013): Egypt Again

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RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #75 (9/1/2013): Egypt Again

Aired August 31, 2013 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/6jZy0FXcg1E

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of September 1st, 2013.

Oy, Egypt, Egypt, Egypt. Doesn’t it figure that the one country in the Arab world that seemed stable, the one place that wasn’t a scary mess of Islamic Jihad and anti-West anti-Semitism, Egypt, would collapse into chaos?

Forty years ago, Anwar Sadat made a brilliantly savvy political move – albeit a lousy personal one since it got him shot – but for the good of Egypt, he signed a peace treaty with Israel. And against all odds, it lasted! It was real. There was peace, there was economic and cultural exchange, there was falafel everywhere. Israel had a million things to worry about in the Middle East, but Egypt, which had been our worst military enemy, wasn’t one of them.

And Egypt took a Western approach to its politics. So Western, that they ended up copying our own runaway corruption. Hasni Mubarak, who succeeded Anwar Sadat – about the only thing he succeeded in – ran the country for 30 years until being deposed by the military. And then, for his replacement, they hold democratic elections. Great, right?

Not so great; the winner is Mohamed Morsi, of the Muslim Brotherhood. Which is basically Al Qaeda Lite. Young Egyptians hate this, because with radical Muslims in charge, Egypt is destined to slide into the same soul-crushing totalitarianism that made Afghanistan and Iran such glorious vacation hotspots. So what happens? There’s an uprising, the people protest and riot, and the Egyptian military pulls Morsi out of office and takes over.

This does not sit well with the Muslim Brotherhood, so they show their brotherly love by rioting, pillaging and forcing the army to crack down and make a police state. Meanwhile, the military are busy trying to drum up some kind of revised constitution and figuring out how to hold elections before the whole country implodes. In Egypt, every day is like the night the Steelers win the Super Bowl; if you weren’t in the car when they were overturning it and setting it on fire, you’re ahead of the game.

Now, the Egypt situation is more complicated than others in the Middle East because they were getting along with America and Israel. Mubarak was no great shakes as a leader, but he held to the treaties and kept things on an even keel. I’ve been on an uneven keel, and let me tell you, I got so nauseous, I almost keeled over. Of course, in those situations, it’s keel or be keeled, but I digress.

Egypt holds free and democratic elections, and the last guy in the world America wants in there wins. So, we’re happy when the army discards him, but at the same time, what kind of democracy is it when the people elect a leader, and a year later, the army says, “Ehhhh, Do over, do over!”

I mean, imagine if in this country, we have an election, the popular vote goes to one candidate, but there are problems and miscounts and shenanigans, so the Supreme Court takes over and appoints the president based on the judges’ political leanings rather than the actual voting. Thank God, something like that could never happen here.

So both America and Israel are mired in wait-and-see limbo when it comes to Egypt. If we support the army, that means we rejected the election process. If we support the Morsi Muslims, well, we might as well just send over pilot-training manuals so they can get started on the next 9/11. We’re shtupped either way.

Whatever happened to the good old days when the CIA would muscle into a country, assassinate the dictator, and prop up some crooked but pro-Western puppet with billions of our tax dollars? What’s the point of being a Superpower if you can’t be superpowerful? We used to look out for number one. Now all these countries submerge us in number two.

That said, I do really wish the Egyptians well, and I hope – against all hope – that they can somehow form a coalition government. One that puts modernized moderates in charge but allows right-wingers a voice and the freedom to worship as they please – which, since it’s the exact opposite of what they allow, will cause their heads to explode. Hey, a guy can dream.

Until then, we would do best to recall that twice the Egyptians have done the impossible: they built the pyramids, and they stunned the rest of the Arab world by making nice-nice with Israel. So is it too much to ask for another miracle? Oh wait, I’m still hoping for that one about the Jets winning another Super Bowl. Quel dommage.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

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