Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews producers Sue & Lloyd Ecker about their documentary, “The Outrageous Sophie Tucker.”
Topics include: Sophie Tucker, business, filmmaking.
Segment scheduled to air July 18, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com
The 45th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired July 18, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
* 45. Scandal erupted at this year’s town picnic when a two-man team was caught cheating during the three-legged race. It seemed the runners, who won the race, used an artificial, retractable fourth appendage which, literally, gave them a leg up on the competition.
Cameras caught the chicanery, however, and the judges called the men to an urgent meeting.
“Nowhere in the rules does it say,” said the men, “that we can’t use an extra limb.”
The judges harrumphed, “That’s ridiculous! The whole idea of a three-legged race is to use only three legs. Give back the trophy!”
RABBI SOL: Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon, the founder and spiritual leader of Temple Sons of Bitches.
DAVE: And this is Dave Lefkowitz, host of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio show –
RABBI SOL: with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of July 12th, 2015. Take it away, Dave.
DAVE: Those of you who have seen Rabbi Sol onstage know that he loves music. It doesn’t always love him back, but the Rebbe feels that music and lyrics –
RABBI SOL: And a well-placed trombone solo –
DAVE: The combination of all those musical elements can say more in three minutes than a dozen speeches.
RABBI SOL: Or even a baker’s dozen, which is 13, and a nice deal, since you’re paying for 12, and they throw in an extra one for no charge. They should do that with condoms. Anyhoo, because music is so potent, songwriters are obligated to write lyrics that say something. Not just, “Ooh, I wanna shtup you,” or “Ooh, why did you stop shtupping me?”, or “Ooh, why are you shtupping my best friend?” or, if it’s a country song, “I love my truck.”
DAVE: And songs can also be cryptic, or indirect, with words that convey multiple meanings. Every tune is a byzantine Rorschach test for the listener.
RABBI SOL: Boy, doesn’t that sound like fun? My job as Rabbi is to help guide you, my listeners and parishioners, through the truth of these songs. The subtleties, the answers, the keys to their changing meaning and the meaning to their changing keys. I also chastise the songwriters if they’re being lazy or prurient or Michael Bolton.
DAVE: To that end, Rabbi Sol has volunteered to deconstruct a popular song, line by line, and offer his commentary. You may not agree with his interpretations, but as the Rabbi says:
RABBI SOL: Who the hell are you? Write your own Talmud.
DAVE: Today’s song is a classic by The Beatles. Written by Lennon and McCartney and sung by Ringo on their “Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” record.
RABBI SOL: A concept album that pretty much runs out of concept after the first two songs.
DAVE: Nevertheless, “With a Little Help from My Friends” remains among the catchiest and most enduring of The Beatles’ pop hits. But does it stand up under the Rabbi’s scrutiny?
RABBI SOL: I dunno, does it?
DAVE: Let’s find out. I’m gonna sing “With a Little Help from My Friends,” and Rabbi Sol will interrupt when he has something to say. Or even when he doesn’t.
RABBI SOL: Wait a minute. You’re gonna sing? You’ll do more damage to The Beatles than Yoko!
DAVE: Very funny, Rabbi.
RABBI SOL: You’re telling me! I saw you in a nightclub once where you promised to sing an entire album by the Beatles. You asked for audience requests. Everybody said, “Help!”
DAVE: All right, all right. Are you ready?
RABBI SOL: Am I ever?
DAVE: This is “With a Little Help from My Friends” . . . and from Rabbi Sol.
(play song with commentary)
DAVE: “What would you think if I sang out of tune?”
RABBI SOL: I’d think, “why are you singing? What, do you wanna torture me?”
DAVE: “Would you stand up and walk out on me?”
RABBI SOL: No, I would probably stay until the end of the song; I would be polite. But I would not be buying the CD.
DAVE: “Lend me your ears, and I’ll sing you a song.”
RABBI SOL: You just told me you sing out of key. Why are you gonna sing me a song?
DAVE: “And I’ll try not to sing out of key.”
RABBI SOL: Oh, you’re gonna try. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you so much for your mercy! I’m gonna try not to vomit in my mouth.
DAVE: “Oh, I’ll get by with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Ah, don’t we all?
DAVE: “Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: You must live in Colorado.
DAVE: “Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Yeah, try harder.
DAVE: “What do I do when my love is away?”
RABBI SOL: Flirt with teenage girls on Facebook?
DAVE: “Does it worry you to be alone?”
RABBI SOL: Worry me? I love being alone! I have 21-and-a-half children; I’m never alone!
DAVE: “How do I feel by the end of the day?”
RABBI SOL: How do you feel by the end of the day? Obviously, not exhausted by singing lessons.
DAVE: “Are you sad because you’re on your own? No, I get by with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Maybe you need some more help.
DAVE: “Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: So, basically, your friends are enablers?”
DAVE: “Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: I really hope they’re helping.
DAVE: “Do you need anybody?”
RABBI SOL: Yes, I need a roofer.
DAVE: “I need somebody to love. Could it be anybody?”
RABBI SOL: Well, it’s carpentry work, so I would prefer Irish.
DAVE: “I want somebody to love.”
RABBI SOL: Yes, you and me both. Natalie Portman, are you listening? And do you charge by the hour?
DAVE: “Would you believe in a love at first sight?”
RABBI SOL: Yes! Me and a pastrami sandwich!
DAVE: “Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time. What do you see when you turn out the light?”
RABBI SOL: When I turn out the light, it’s dark. I don’t see anything. What are you, a moron?
DAVE: “I can’t tell you but I know it’s mine.”
RABBI SOL: I don’t know what’s yours but don’t be touching it in the dark. That’s just perverse.
DAVE: “Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Oy, again with the friends.
DAVE: “Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Again with the high? Have you tried edibles?
DAVE: “Yes, gonna try with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Keep trying.
DAVE: “Do you need anybody?”
RABBI SOL: I need a minyan this Friday night.
DAVE: “I just need someone to love. Could it be anybody?”
RABBI SOL: We’ll take men, women, dogs. Doesn’t really matter.
DAVE: “I want somebody to love. Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: You need a lotta help, buddy.
DAVE: “Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: I get chai with a little help from my friends! Heh heh.
DAVE: “Yes, gonna try with a little help from my friends. With a little help from my friends. With a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: So, nu, where are these friends who are supposed to show up already?
DAVE: “With a little help from my friends.”
RABBI SOL: Oy, I need a lotta help from my iTunes if it’s playing this shit.
(song ends)
RABBI SOL: Well, that was painful. But I hope you all learned something about not taking songs for granted. The composers are trying to tell you something, so it’s important to listen, digest, and make up your own mind. Or make up your own lyrics. (sings, “There’s a bathroom on the right…”) Speaking of which . . .
DAVE: Oh dear, it’s the Rabbi’s private time. With his privates. So this has been a Rabbinical Reflection with me, Dave Lefkowitz. (sings) Her majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she doesn’t have a lot to say.”
RABBI SOL: Count yourself lucky. I got a queen at home; she never shuts up! Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. and ani, Rabbi Sol Solomon
Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 517th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, July 11, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.
Featuring: Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Rabbi Sol Solomon deconstructs The Beatles, Wretched Pun of Destiny (UPenn), Dylan – Sooner & Later (Pat Garrett), Saturday Segues (Peter Schickele, In the News), Inside Broadway.
Host: Dave Lefkowitz Guest: Dave’s wife Joyce
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (7-Eleven on 7/11, Long Johns update) 00:35:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES, part 1 00:50:00 Sponsors 01:00:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES, part 2 01:17:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Peter Schickele 01:40:00 INSIDE BROADWAY 02:11:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #44 (UPenn) 02:14:00 Friends 02:23:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (Pat Garrett) 02:43:00 Weather 02:48:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #129 – With a Little Help 02:58:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News 03:31:00 Upcoming DAVE GOES OUT
July 11, 2015 Playlist: “This is Professor Pete” (01:21:30), “Triumph of Thusnelda (Two Madrigals)” (01:22:30) & “The Stoned Guest (Completion)” (01:28:30; P.D.Q. Bach). “I Have a Noble Cock” (02:09:30; Canterbury Tales 1969 Bway cast). “Turkey Chase” (02:28:30), “Billy 4” (02:32:00), “River Theme” (02:37:00), “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” (Bob Dylan). “With a Little Help from My Friends” (02:51:30) & “Can’t Buy Me Love” (03:04:00; The Beatles). “I Go to Extremes” (02:59:30; Billy Joel). “Kill the Mockingbird” (03:06:00; House of Freaks). “Dear Mr. Supercomputer” (03:09:00; Sufjan Stevens). “Tennis Court” (03:13:30; Lorde). “With a Little Help from My Friends” (03:38:00; Richie Havens).
The 44th Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired July 11, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
* 44. The summer before his senior year, a University of Pennsylvania student proposes to his girlfriend. He wants the wedding in Philadelphia, but she demands they get married in Jefferson County because her family, from her great-great-grandfather all the way to her dad, has lived and worked in the coal mines there for generations.
After the ceremony and a little drunk, the guy is driving his bride back towards campus.
Unfortunately, a cop stops him for speeding and weaving a little out of his lane. “Aw, come on, officer,” says the student. “It’s my wedding day.”
“Don’t argue,” says the cop. “You’re speeding and driving under the influence.”
“I may be a little tipsy,” admits the student, “but if you bring this to court, no jury on earth would convict me. I’d even represent myself!”
“Ha!” says the cop. “You’re just a college kid. Studying what, history?”
“Engineering,” comes the reply.
“So you’re an engineer, and you’re gonna defend yourself in court?”
“That’s right,” says the student. “Engineering is my major. But thanks to her dad, now I have a Miner In-Law.”
The 43rd Wretched Pun of Destiny segment aired July 4, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com * 43. On his first trip to Thailand, Dick Van Dyke goes walking through the streets of Bangkok to take in the sights. He comes to the French quarter and notices all sorts of decorations, such as flowers, hearts and cupids. His translator explains that, just like in America, it’s Valentine’s Day, which is celebrated all over Thailand but especially by the romantic French.
“How nice!” says Dick Van Dyke, who waves at a passerby and says, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Happy co-star!” comes the reply.
Puzzled, the comic actor waves at another stranger and wishes her a happy Valentine’s Day.
“Happy co-star to you!” the woman answers.
Flummoxed, Van Dyke turns to his translator and asks, “What does French Valentine’s Day have to do with my co-star?”
“It’s an abbreviation,” says his companion. “Happy co-star is short for `Merry Thai L’amour.’”
Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 516th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, July 4, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.
Featuring: Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Inside Broadway, The Wretched Pun of Destiny (Dick Van Dyke), My Sick Mind (Churches), Saturday Segues (July 4th, In the News), Bob Dylan – Sooner & Later (July 4th).
Guest: Dave’s wife Joyce
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (non-fine dining, Stampede, I don’t love a parade) 00:24:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES, Pt. 1 00:44:00 Miracle of Long Johns Update 01:02:30 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES, Pt. 2 01:27:30 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN w/ Joyce (Parker, roundabouts) 01:36:30 Weather 01:40:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – July 4th 02:00:00 INSIDE BROADWAY 02:40:30 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #43 (Dick Van Dyke) 02:44:00 Sponsors 02:51:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (July 4th) 03:10:30 DAVE GOES EVEN FURTHER IN w/ Joyce (hot dog!) 03:10:00 Friends 03:27:00 MY SICK MIND (Churches) 03:30:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News 03:35:00 DAVE GOES OUT
July 4, 2015 Playlist: “Roses on the Fourth of July” (01:41:00). “Fourth of July” ({live}, 01:44:30; Aimee Mann). “Fourth of July” (01:48:00; Galaxie 500). “Fourth of July” (01:53:00; X). Excerpt (Jack Carter & Judy Garland). “Tears of Rage – Take 2” (02:51:30), “Gypsy Lou” (02:57:30) & “All American Boy” (03:01:30) “Ain’t No Man Righteous, No Not One” (02:54:00; Jah Malla). “Church of the Poisoned Mind” (03:31:30; Culture Club). “Greek Song” (03:35:00; Rufus Wainwright). “Cold Sweat” (03:38:30; James Brown). “Going Down to Cuba” (03:41:30; Jackson Browne). “Kicks” (03:47:00; Paul Revere and the Raiders). “America” (04:00:30; Andre Williams).
Dick Van Dyke & Mary Tyler Moore
David Lefkowitz in “The Miracle of Long Johns” at Studio Theater in Theater Row NYC, October 23, 2015. Photo by Farnaz Taherimotlagh.
RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #128 (6/28/2015): Scalia
(aired June 28, 2015 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/TzqQMAOhz7g)
Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of June 28, 2015.
Well, it’s taken awhile, but I know what I wanna do when I grow up. I wanna trade places with Antonin Scalia. Appointed by Ronald Reagan, he’s the longest-running chief justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. Thirty years on the bench voting strictly along conservative lines and interpreting the constitution so narrowly, you couldn’t fit a dragonfly’s wing between “we” and “the” in “we the people.”
This man has held back—or tried to—the progress of American civilization, be it women’s rights for abortion, minorities facing discrimination, immigrants facing deportation, and gays being able to do their thing…gaily. They should just pull Antonin Scalia off his bench and replace him with a television airing Fox News; it’d be the same thing.
Of course, Scalia got his head handed to him twice last week. First, the Supreme Court upheld Obamacare. Surprisingly, they voted the spirit of the law–rather than the letter of the law. “So what if the wording is vague,” said the Court. “The President meant well, and he’s trying to help people.” Six justices agreed, including all the liberals, plus Roberts and Kennedy. Scalia dissented, angrily, as did Alito and the schvartze.
Twenty-four hours later, the court made another historic ruling, this one on gay marriage. They’re for it. Well, five out of nine of them were. Amazing how this Court had more consensus on a twisted insurance law than they did on two people wanting to tie the knot.
John Roberts was the stick-in-the-mud this time. He argued that he had nothing against same-sex chupahs, but making it the law of the land somehow circumvented peoples’ rights to vote yes or no on it. Whatever. The fun part is reading Scalia’s dissent. In challenging the idea that sanctioning gay marriage would expand personal freedom, he argues: “hey, on what planet has any marriage ever expanded freedom? You’re stuck together, day in, day out; you can’t leave unless you separate or divorce, and in the bedroom…?” I think comedian Chuck Bartell put it best when he said, “If you enjoy watching the same porno film over and over and over again . . . you’re great marriage material.” So Scalia has a point when he writes, quote, “One would think Freedom of Intimacy is abridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask the nearest hippie.”
Granted, the last time anyone saw a hippie was 1973, but you get the gist.
Unfortunately, it’s the gism that bothers Scalia, and he’ll torture the words of the constitution to make sure that his good religious values aren’t ruffled by anything as upsetting as two dudes feeding each other cake on a dais.
Which is why I belong up there in Washington DC holding forth on legal and moral issues, while Scalia would kill on radio and TV. The man’s got a gift for phrasing, like when he likened Roberts’s opinions to the contents of a fortune cookie. Or back when he was asked whether he found it difficult to vote on complex issues. “The death penalty?” he said. “Give me a break. It’s easy. Abortion? Absolutely easy. Homosexual sodomy? Come on. For 200 years, it was criminal in every state,” unquote.
So this is a dangerous guy, but a funny guy. He doesn’t b.s., and like Bill O’Reilly, he gives really good soundbyte. He expresses himself with crystal clarity — even when his morality becomes a fatality. So he’d be terrific doing these mini-sermons, my amusing, Robert Fulghumian ruminations. Meanwhile, I should be in the Supreme Court, agreeing with Justice Kagin, arguing with Justice Thomas, diapering Justice Ginsberg . . .
See, I can spout crazy, offensive things, and the occasional brilliant, profound thing, and listeners can take it or leave it. I’m an entertainer, a pundit, a gadfly, a horsefly even. And so is Scalia. It’s just that his word is law, literally.
We do have commonalities. Scalia is a devout, Italian-American Catholic; I’m a depraved Jewish-American Jew. But I’m not sitting on the highest court in the land trying to turn the clock back on social progress.
So Anto, bubbie, let’s do celebrity life swap. I’ll take your robe; you take my tallis. I’ll listen to people drone on and on about the most tedious minutiae; you listen to my wife talk about her day. I’ll make laws that advance human rights and personal freedoms; you get on the radio once a week and tell prostate jokes. Whaddya say? I’ve even come up with your catchphrase: “Buongiorno Cazzo!” Heh? Not bad, right? Scal, my pal, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Court is adjourned.
Segment aired June 27, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2015 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
* 42. This isn’t well known, but one of the many men artist Frida Kahlo dated when she was on the outs with Diego Rivera was Joseph Souter, the father of former Supreme Court Justice David Souter.
At the time, the older Souter was in the cosmetics industry, and he was so besotted with Frida that he designed a whole line of lipsticks after her. They were very high end and subtle in
their colors, although customers were warned to be gentle with them because the wax was quite delicate and broke easily.
All is going great until Souter gets a call from none other than Walt Disney—who is not in a good mood. “You idiot!” blasts the animation king. “My wife Lillian wasted hundreds of dollars on your crappy cosmetics!”
“W-what do you mean?” Souter stammers.
“She bought dozens of your lipsticks because she liked the colors so much, but half of them break the second she touches them, and, well, here, honey, you tell him.” Disney hands the phone to his wife.
“I apologize for my husband’s temper,” begins Lillian, “but this really is embarrassing. When I put your product on my lips, it gives me bad breath!”
“Oh no,” Souter groans. “Mrs. Disney, are you sure about this?”
“I’m afraid so,” she replies. “Your Souter-Kahlo Fragile Lipstick Gives Me Halitosis.”
Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 515th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, June 27, 2015. Info: davesgoneby.com.
Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection on Antonin Scalia. Plus: Inside Broadway, Greeley Crimes & Old Times, Wretched Pun of Destiny (Mrs. Disney), My Sick Mind (Trump), Dylan – Sooner & Later (blues), Saturday Segues (mom & In the News)
Host: Dave Lefkowitz
Guest: Dave’s wife Joyce
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce (egg supreme, no guests, 515, wedding speech) 00:44:00 GREELEY CRIMES & OLD TIMES 01:11:30 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN w/ Joyce (second cousin, belly vs. uterus) 01:22:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – mom 01:45:00 Friends 02:05:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #128 (Scalia) 02:11:30 INSIDE BROADWAY 02:30:00 THE WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY #42 (Mrs. Disney) 02:32:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (blues) 02:53:00 Weather 02:56:30 MY SICK MIND (Trump) 03:01:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – In the News 03:29:30 Thanks & Sponsors 03:41:30 DAVE GOES OUT
June 27, 2015 Playlist: “Brenda’s Got a Baby” (01:22:30; Tupac Shakur). “Solomon Song” (01:26:30; The Threepenny Opera 1954 off-Broadway cast w/ Lotte Lenya). “Momsong” (01:29:00; The Be Good Tanyas). “Happy Mama” (01:34:30; Hugh Masekela). “I Like My Mother” (01:39:30; Art Paul Schlosser). Dave interviews Dick Van Patten (01:47:30; 2007 excerpt). “Misery” (02:28:30; Professor Longhair). “Dirt Road Blues” (02:34:00), “Down in the Flood” ({live}; 02:37:30), “It Takes a Man to Laugh (It Takes a Train to Cry)” (02:41:00) & “Blind Willie McTell” (02:45:00; Bob Dylan). “Jubilation T. Cornpone” (03:02:30; “Li’l Abner” 1959 film soundtrack w/ Stubby Kaye). “The Great Health Care Trial Balloon” (03:06:00; Capitol Steps). “South of the Border” (03:09:00; Patsy Cline). “Marrying for Love” (03:11:00; Call Me Madam 1950 Broadway cast w/ Ethel Merman). “The Mercy Seat” ({live}; 03:14:00; Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds). “Wedding Day” (03:44:30; Ian McLagan & The Bump Band).
Segment aired June 27, 2015 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
