Dave’s Gone By Skit (4/13/2024): MY SICK MIND: O.J. Simpson

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Some jokes to mark the recent passing of pass rusher O.J. Simpson.

“My Sick Mind: O.J. Simpson” first aired on Dave’s Gone By, Sat, April 13, 2024.
Host: Dave Lefkowitz
All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.

MY SICK MIND – O.J. Simpson
What’s the best thing about worms and maggots’ breakfast this week?
They’re having O.J.

Why will O.J. have a quick funeral?
Because he was known for rushing.

When OJ was having money troubles, he tried his hand at stand-up comedy.
He killed.

To O.J. Simpson, what’s the difference between first down and second down?
Nicole was first down; Ron Goldman was the second down.

Why are college kids so disappointed that O.J. Simpson was killed by cancer?
Because they can’t blame Israel for it.

Why will Kim Kardashian never live up to the standard set by her father?
Kim Kardashian has a big ass and fucked a guy named Ray-J.
Robert Kardashian was a big ass and fucked the whole legal system.

How do we know a dying O.J. still missed doing car-rental commercials?
He kept moaning, “Hertz! Hertz!”

Did you know that O.J.’s father was an African drag queen?
“Awisha Yuzdarubba”

How did O.J. Simpson mature from child to grownup?
As a boy, he did ticket scalping. As a man, he said, “Who needs tickets?”

They found O.J. Simpson’s diaries. Turns out he never used hyphens.
Just a lot of slashes.

What made Nicole Brown Simpson the ideal Jewish wife?
She stopped moving, but O.J. kept penetrating her… and he got off!