Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with musician ANDREW FARRISS
Topics include: INXS, religion, music, the West.
Segment aired April 3, 2021 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
Segment aired Sept. 20, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2014 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
*
6. A food writer is compiling a book about the best cups of tea from all over the world. He sends a first draft to his editor, who writes back, “Great job. You’ve been to India, China, Sri Lanka, Russia – but I notice you haven’t been to Australia. You need to go and report on this incredible tea I’ve heard about that’s only served in one tiny shop in the western outback. We can’t do a proper book without it. I’ll extend your deadline, just get there asap.”
So the writer books a plane ticket for Australia where he winds up taking two trains, three puddle-jumpers and a rickshaw before reaching a tiny village. Worried that he’s been sent on a wild goose chase, the writer asks a woman at the local market if she’s heard of this fabled tea shop. “Oh, of course! Best tea in the world.”
“What makes it so special?” asks the writer, grabbing his notebook.
“Well, the shop is owned by Johnny Murphy, this Irish fella who moved here thirty years ago and has been making tea ever since.”
“Fine, but what’s so great about the tea itself?”
“It’s not just the leaves; it’s what happens to them. They grow high on these gum trees. And the koala bears climb all over them and chew on them making them really tender. That’s why no other leaves have their flavor.”
Intrigued, the writer asks the woman for directions to Murphy’s Tea Shop. After a three-mile trek, he arrives at this little hut where a burley, deeply suntanned Irishman stands at the counter.
“A cup of tea, please,” the writer orders.
Murphy nods and sets a kettle on the stove. He then produces a small teacup and a wee bag of brown leaves. He pours two heaping spoonfuls of dry leaves into the cup, and, when the water boils, sloshes the hot water into the tea. “Here you go,” he says, handing the writer the cup and a plain napkin.
The writer looks into the cup but isn’t particularly enthused. Though the beverage smells okay, visually it looks like muddy brown water, with twigs and dirt and dead things floating about. “Whatsamatter?” says the Irishman. “Too strong for ya?”
“No,” says the writer, making a face. “It’s just so unfiltered. Why don’t you use a strainer?”
“Sir,” gasps the owner, affronted. “The Koala Tea of Murphy Cannot Be Strained!”
In July 2014, legendary Australian TV personality Rolf Harris was sentenced to 69 months in prison for molesting numerous under-aged women over the course of two decades. Let’s hear his song, shall we?
Song aired July 19, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2014 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
TAKE YOUR UNDEROOS DOWN (The Rolf Harris Song)
(spoken) There’s an old Australian TV host, resting in his jail cell, surrounded by perverts, murderers, and stockbrokers. So he gets himself up on one elbow, and he turns to his mates, who are examining his hidden stash of child pornography, and he sings to them:
Once I used to be great, mate,
Once I used to be great.
Now just look at my fate, mate,
All the girls are irate – `cause I told them:
Take your Underoos down, slut,
Take your Underoos down
Keep your little mouth shut, slut
Take your Underoos down
She’s a tender young queen, Jean,
She’s a tender young queen
She was only 14, Jean,
She’s a tender young queen
All together now!
Take your Underoos down, slut,
Take your Underoos down
Keep your little mouth shut, slut
Take your Underoos down
That girl put me in heaven, Kevin
That girl put me in heaven.
She was only seven, Kevin
That girl put me in heaven.
Everyone!
Untie your Underoos now, slut,
Untie your Underoos now
Don’t you dare start a row, cow,
Untie your Underoos now
That one made me so glum, chum,
That one made me so glum
Filled her bum with my cum, chum,
But she snitched to her mum!
Oh no, now!
Pull your Underoos down, slut,
Pull your Underoos down
Show Uncle Rolfie your butt, slut,
Take your Underoos down
(sad section)
Now, they call me the devil, Neville,
Now they call me the devil
They’ll put me in the gravel, Neville,
Just like they did to Saville
Everyone!
Take your Underoos down, slut,
Take your Underoos down
Finger the place that’s brown, don’t frown!
Take your Underoos down
Show me a little bit more, whore
Show me a little bit more
Are you sure you’re only four, whore?
Show Uncle Rolfie some more!
All together now!
Take your Underoos down, slut,
Take your Underoos down
Take your Underoos down, slut,
Take your Underoos down
Here is the 17th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on NY’s WGBB-AM radio, Jan. 26, 2003.
host: Dave Lefkowitz guest: director Karin Coonrod
Featuring: “Dave Goes Off” (Pete Rose); Interview w/ director Karin Coonrod; “News Gone By,” “The Missile Hunter”; “World Weird Web” (ChunderSpew!).
00:00:00 DAVE GOES IN 00:04:00 DAVE GOES OFF on Pete Rose 00:14:00 GUEST: Karin Coonrod 00:40:00 DAVE REMEMBERS: Maurice Gibb, Ian McNaughton & Barry Took 00:44:00 WORLD WEIRD WEB – Language 00:47:00 SKIT: ChunderThunder w/ Joyce (and part two at 00:72:00) 00:51:00 NEWS GONE BY 00:58:00 SKIT: The Missile Hunter 01:17:00 DAVE GOES OUT
January 26, 2003 Playlist: “Bruces” (Monty Python), “Tie Me Kangaroo Down” (Village Stompers), “Joey, the Spastic Kangaroo” & “A Dingo Ate My Baby” (69:00) (Dave).
Dave goes down under to relate the tale of a mentally retarded marsupial.
Segment originally aired Jan. 26, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
JOEY, THE SPASTIC KANGAROO
by David Lefkowitz
I’ve been a trapper since I was 13 I’ve caught animals you’ve never seen Like six-legged tigers and cows without feet But the greatest of all, I was destined to meet
I was on contract for Sydney’s big zoo They asked me for wombats and wallabies, too I hid in the bush awaiting my chance When far in the distance I saw something dance
I waved me blowgun and stood there transfixed He twisted so fast, nearly all my darts missed I came up behind him and made not a sound I jumped on the `roo and brought him to the ground.
Out in the Outback where the possums play I saw a creature who took me breath away Got him sedated, brought him to the zoo We called him “Joey, the Spastic Kangaroo.”
In isolation, the roo bounced and shook So frantic was he, it was painful to look In less than a day, he was covered with scars From bashing his head and his bum on the bars
We gave him drugs, but they had no effect Built him a shelter which he quickly wrecked We thought him the saddest we ever did see Since Chow Chow the panda with epilepsy
Out in the Outback where Koalas climb We got a rare one once upon a time A danger to himself and other creatures, too We captured Joey, the Spastic Kangaroo.
We introduced Joey into a troop But he punched the others and sprayed them with poop Perhaps it was puberty? Repressed desire? So we tried to mate him with Agnes, the flyer
Agnes was ferile and ripe for a male She bit Joey’s nuts, and he started to wail They kicked and they thrashed and they clawed and they bled And when it was through, the two roos were both dead
Out in the Outback where the quokkas hop I saw a whirlwind I thought would never stop Tears did flow that morning at the zoo When we buried Joey, the Spastic Kangaroo
Agnes was kept on display in the lab Her body preserved and laid out on a slab Five weeks after that, her pouch gave a rip Then, out popped a baby we quickly named Skip.
We crossed all our fingers and hoped for the best `Cause Skippy looked normal at play and at rest But soon, we saw normal was not meant to be When Skippy the roo tried to drink his own pee
He’d stare at the sun and spend hours in a crouch He bit his own tail, and he punched his own pouch At first it was tempting to have him destroyed But we felt too sorry for this mongoloid
So out in the Outback we set Skippy free Soon as we did, he ran into a tree Moral of the story is tragic, but it’s true: There’s nothing you can do with a spastic kangaroo.