The 2nd Wretched Pun of Destiny aired on Dave’s Gone By, Aug. 2, 2014.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast. All content (c)2014 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
* 2. This huge football fan is excited that the new season is starting soon, so he wants to invite all his buddies for a party on the day of the first game. He heads to the local printing shop and tells the owner he wants to send out invitation cards that would be fun for them to RSVP.
“No problem,” says the shop owner. “We can make the perfect cards. We’ll put the team logos right on the cover and all the information. How do you want the words to look?”
“Well, that’s your department,” says the fan. “I just want something that’s right for sports, guys, football – you know.”
“I know the perfect style,” says the shop guy. “The American Library Association uses a typeface and font that we always use for this kind of invitation.”
The fan says, “Fantastic, go for it! It’s the Broncos vs. the New York Jets. Here’s a list of the Broncos fans I’m inviting, so put their logo on those cards; and here’s a list of the Jets fans. Just make the same exact card, only with the Jet logo, instead.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”
“What do you mean, you can’t do that?”
“Well, we can do it for the Bronco fans, no problem. But not New York.”
“Why the heck not?” asks the fan.
“Haven’t you ever heard the expression, “An ALA Font, Never For Jets?”
Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews songwriter John Bucchino
Topics include: A Catered Affair, Urban Myths, Stephen Sondheim, Stephen Schwartz.
Segment scheduled to air July 19, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2014 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com
click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 473rd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, July 19, 2014. Info: davesgoneby.com.
Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with songwriter John Bucchino. Plus: Inside Broadway, Saturday Segues (Elaine Stritch, Nikki Sudden, octopuses), Dave’s Rolf Harris song and the Wretched Pun of Destiny (Oprah).
Guests: songwriter John Bucchino, Dave’s wife Joyce
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce 00:43:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Elaine Stritch 00:57:00 Sponsors 00:59:30 SATURDAY SEGUE – Octopuses 01:20:00 INSIDE BROADWAY 01:42:30 Tribute of Sorts: Rolf Harris 01:47:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with John Bucchino 02:59:30 WRETCHED PUN OF DESTINY – Oprah Winfrey’s Teas 03:02:30 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (July Releases) 03:19:00 SATURDAY SEGUE – Nikki Sudden 03:43:00 Friends & Thanks 03:51:00 DAVE GOES OUT
July 19, 2014 Playlist: “The Beast in You” (00:45:00; Goldlilocks 1958 Bway cast w/ Elaine Stritch). “Why Do the Wrong People Travel?” (00:48:00; Sail Away, 1961 Bway cast w/ Elaine Stritch). “Here’s to the Ladies Who Lunch” (00:51:30; Company 1970 Bway cast w/ Elaine Stritch). “Octopus’s Garden” (01:01:30) & “Octopus’s Garden/Sun King” (01:15:00; The Beatles). “Octopus” (01:03:30; Handsome Family). “Octopus Woman Please Let Me Go” (01:07:00; Dick Kent). “Octopus” (01:09:30; Syd Barrett). “The Octopus Song” (01:13:30; Kenny King). “Oswald Closing Theme” (01:14:30; Oswald). “Sugar Daddy” (01:38:00; Hedwig and the Angry Inch 2014 Bway cast w/ Neil Patrick Harris & Lena Hall). “Take Your Underoos Down” (01:44:30; Dave). “Something Spontaneous” (01:47:00), “Better Than I” (02:07:00), “Unexpressed” (02:42:00) & “Learn How to Say Goodbye” (02:56:00; David Campbell). “Ralph and Me” (02:12:00; A Catered Affair 2008 Bway cast w/ Leslie Kritzer & Faith Prince). “Sweet Dreams” (02:37:00; Judy Collins). “Blowin’ in the Wind” (03:05:00), “Bunkhouse Theme” (03:08:00), “Lady Lady Lay” (03:10:00), “Billy 7” (03:13:30) & “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” (03:15:30; Bob Dylan). “Back to the Coast” (03:22:30), “100 Miles from Here” (03:25:30), “Evangeline” (03:30:00), “Captain Kennedy” (03:34:00) & “Tell Me” (03:38:00; Nikki Sudden). “Grateful” (03:52:30; Michael Feinstein).
The 1st Wretched Pun of Destiny aired July 19, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2016 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
* 1. If you’ve been to Starbucks recently, you know that Oprah Winfrey has a new line of Chai teas. Well, they’ve been so successful, Oprah goes to her marketing and research-and-development people and asks if they could create more lines of tea that she could brand in the same way.
“I’m glad you asked,” says the head R&D guy. “We’ve been working on this new project that we think is perfect for your brand. It’s a line of tea made from essential fish oils.”
Oprah makes a face. “You’re not serious?”
“No, really! I know how it sounds, but they taste great. They’re healthy, they smell amazing, people get their omega fatty acids – here, just try one!”
So the guy brings out a hot cup of tea. “This is yellowtail. Just taste it.”
Oprah does and gasps, “This is delicious! No bad smell, and it looks lovely. And it’s fish oil?”
“Exactly!” laughs the R&D guy. “And we can have whole line of them: Oprah Salmon Tea. Oprah Tilapia Tea. Oprah Swordfish Tea. And I haven’t even shown you the best part!”
The guy brings out all these cups of dry tea and gives Oprah a big kettle of hot water.
“Go ahead, pour!” he says.
So Oprah pours boiling water into the first cup. As soon as she does, she hears this loud, incessant, knocking sound. “What’s that?” she laughs.
“That’s the surprise! The tea leaves are so tightly compacted, the second the boiling water hits them, it sets off chemical reactions that make a racket. It’s a great novelty, and you can market it like crazy. Try some more!”
So Oprah pours water onto the Flounder Tea, and she hears, “knock knock knock knock…” She does it on the Monkfish Tea – same thing. Pretty soon there’s a riot of noise as she’s boiling the Mackerel Tea, the Redfish Tea, the Trout Tea . . .
Finally, she gets to the one with tuna fish and pours the water on it, but all she hears is one single “knock.” “Hmm, let me try another one,” she says. So they hand her another cup of the tuna, she pours the water in, but again, just a single “knock.”
“Well, this is incredibly promising,” Oprah raves. “I love the whole line, and I can’t wait to get it going. Of course, you’re gonna have to bring this last one back for more testing. All the others made so much noise; it’s a shame the tuna is so quiet. Can you fix it?”
The R&D man looks at her aghast and replies, “Oh, heavens no! Oprah Tuna Tea Only Knocks Once!”
In July 2014, legendary Australian TV personality Rolf Harris was sentenced to 69 months in prison for molesting numerous under-aged women over the course of two decades. Let’s hear his song, shall we?
Song aired July 19, 2004, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2014 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
TAKE YOUR UNDEROOS DOWN (The Rolf Harris Song)
(spoken) There’s an old Australian TV host, resting in his jail cell, surrounded by perverts, murderers, and stockbrokers. So he gets himself up on one elbow, and he turns to his mates, who are examining his hidden stash of child pornography, and he sings to them:
Once I used to be great, mate,
Once I used to be great.
Now just look at my fate, mate,
All the girls are irate – `cause I told them:
Take your Underoos down, slut,
Take your Underoos down
Keep your little mouth shut, slut
Take your Underoos down
She’s a tender young queen, Jean,
She’s a tender young queen
She was only 14, Jean,
She’s a tender young queen
All together now!
Take your Underoos down, slut,
Take your Underoos down
Keep your little mouth shut, slut
Take your Underoos down
That girl put me in heaven, Kevin
That girl put me in heaven.
She was only seven, Kevin
That girl put me in heaven.
Everyone!
Untie your Underoos now, slut,
Untie your Underoos now
Don’t you dare start a row, cow,
Untie your Underoos now
That one made me so glum, chum,
That one made me so glum
Filled her bum with my cum, chum,
But she snitched to her mum!
Oh no, now!
Pull your Underoos down, slut,
Pull your Underoos down
Show Uncle Rolfie your butt, slut,
Take your Underoos down
(sad section)
Now, they call me the devil, Neville,
Now they call me the devil
They’ll put me in the gravel, Neville,
Just like they did to Saville
Everyone!
Take your Underoos down, slut,
Take your Underoos down
Finger the place that’s brown, don’t frown!
Take your Underoos down
Show me a little bit more, whore
Show me a little bit more
Are you sure you’re only four, whore?
Show Uncle Rolfie some more!
All together now!
Take your Underoos down, slut,
Take your Underoos down
Take your Underoos down, slut,
Take your Underoos down
Segment aired July 5, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2014 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com
Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of July 6th, 2014.
This is for all the Israel bashers, Palestinian apologists, Muslim excuse makers, and other misinformed idiots of the world: Israel is mad as hell, and they’re not gonna take it anymore. Nor should they. You wanna talk peace? You wanna talk statehood? You wanna talk dismantling settlements? Go ahead. Press your lips to your asshole, and talk all you want.
Meanwhile, Israel is going to open a can of whoop-ass on Hamas, and it’s lonnnnnnng overdue. What’s the latest abomination? Three teenagers, 19, 16 and 16, were hitchhiking in Israel. They were kidnapped, they were brought to the West Bank – which, I remind everyone – is also a part of Israel. At some point over the last two weeks, they were murdered there, in cold blood, and the bodies were found on Monday in a shallow grave. These young people were not spies, they were not terrorists, they were not rabble rousers, and judging by their outcome, they were not great judges of character, either.
Hamas was founded in 1987 as an offshoot of the so-called Islamic Brotherhood. Their goal was to push Israel into the sea. Not just take over the West Bank and Gaza, but the whole country, that Palestinians could then turn back into a pre-historic sandpile. For awhile, Hamas made believe it was interested in negotiating. Maybe there could be a two-state solution. Maybe Israel could push back to its pre-1967 borders, and tolerate the occasional scud missile and exploding restaurant, just for old times’ sake. But just this year, Abu Marzouk, the deputy chairman of Hamas told an Arab newspaper, quote, “Hamas will not recognize Israel. This is a red line that cannot be crossed,” unquote. That’s okay, Abu baby, Israel recognizes you, and your cohorts. And when they see you, they’ll put a bullet in your head.
How many times, how many years have I spent saying that radical Islam is a scourge, that these Arab countries cannot be trusted, and that Israel has a right to defend itself by any and all means possible – including tickle torture and episodes of “Teen Mom.” If the Palestinians want to live somewhere, let them knock on the doors of Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, Kuwait – we’ll see how welcoming their Arab neighbors are to these tired, huddled masses, yearning to move out of democracy and into Sharia law.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Hamas will pay for its killing. These boys, he said, “were kidnapped and murdered in cold blood by animals” – that’s his word, not mine. Well… and mine – animals! And may the punishment not only fit the crime but outscale the crime by 3000 to 1; a thousand times the pain for each of the three innocents murdered by people who use Mohammed as a weapon and Allah as an excuse. Meanwhile, Israel needs to build more settlements in the territories – not take them down, build more. Because we won that land, rightfully and righteously, in wars brought upon us by the children of Hagar. And I don’t mean Hagar the Horrible; he’s a Viking and really not that horrible. His wife’s a little unpleasant, but even she and he together are not comparable to the lawless, soulless, terrorist slime that squats on 98 percent of the Middle East.
But I will say this for the other two percent. It’s been reported that some Palestinians, and even the Palestinian Authority, helped out during the two weeks of searching for these missing boys. There was actual cooperation during the rather beautifully named “Operation Brother’s Keeper.” Certainly, gratitude and good wishes go to everyone, whatever their background, who tried to lend a hand. But, of course, Arabs being Arabs, after a few days of house-to-house searches and bad traffic and inconvenience, the rank and file turned to rebellion and violence and wishing the Israelis dead.
Well, back atcha, towelheads. Let the rockets fly, let the round-ups begin, let the falafel balls fall where they may. In the Book of Deuteronomy, God says, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” Get ready, Hamas, `cause payback’s a bitch.
This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.
Here is the 472nd episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on UNC Radio, July 5, 2014. Info: davesgoneby.com.
Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with singer songwriter Eric Andersen and with Gene Kelly archivist Patricia Ward Kelly. Plus: Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflection on the murdered Israeli teenagers, a birthday salute to Beck and Bob Dylan: Sooner & Later (Like a Rolling Stone).
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce 00:36:00 SATURDAY SEGUE: Beck 00:59:00 Sponsors 01:04:30 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Eric Andersen 01:55:00 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #103 (Brothers’ Keepers) 02:01:00 BOB DYLAN – Sooner & Later (Like a Rolling Stone) 02:27:00 GUEST: Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Patricia Ward Kelly 03:35:00 DAVE GOES OUT
July 5, 2014 Playlist: “Girl” (00:36:00), “Heart is a Drum” (00:39:30), “Movie Theme” (00:44:00), “The New Pollution” (00:48:00) & “The Golden Age” (00:51:30; Beck). “Violets of Dawn” (01:04:30), “Beat Avenue” ({excerpt} 01:21:30), “Sheila” (01:38:00), “Dance of Love and Death” (01:47:00), “Hello Sun” (01:52:30) & “Rollin’ Home” (03:42:00; Eric Andersen). “You Can’t Relive the Past” (01:13:30; Eric Andersen & Lou Reed). “Thirsty Boots” (01:32:00), “Like a Rolling Stone” (02:02:30), “Like a Rolling Stone” ({early version}; 02:09:00) & “Like a Rolling Stone” ({live Manchester version}; 02:13:00; Bob Dylan). “Like a Rolling Stone” (02:10:30; Sebastian Cabot). “Good Morning” (02:24:00) & “Singin’ in the Rain” (02:51:30); “Singin’ in the Rain” 1952 soundtrack w/ Gene Kelly, Donald O’Connor & Gene Kelly). “The Worry Song” (03:05:30) & “You Wonderful You” (03:32:00; Gene Kelly).
In July 2014, legendary Australian TV personality Rolf Harris was sentenced to 69 months in prison for molesting numerous under-aged women over the course of two decades. Let’s hear his song, shall we?
