click above for episode #12 (audio only)Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 12th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on WGBB-AM radio, Dec. 22, 2002.
host: Dave Lefkowitz
Featuring: Dave’s anti-Christmas Christmas show, featuring the satirical News Gone By, a visit from Lady Miss Ida Mae Roosevelt, Rabbi Sol Solomon’s version of The 12 Days of Xmas, and Dave’s poem, Three Nights Before Xmas.
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN 00:04:00 NEWS GONE BY 00:14:00 SKIT: Lady Miss Ida’s Christmas Show 00:30:00 SONG: The Twelve Complaints of Christmas (Rabbi Sol Solomon) 00:43:00 POEM: “Three Nights Before Christmas” (Dave) 00:51:00 SONG: “Twelve Months of Dave’s Gone By” (Dave)
December 22, 2002 Playlist: “Jesus Gonna Be Here” (Tom Waits, 33:00), “I’m a Christmas Tree” (Dr. Demento & Wild Man Fischer, 36:00), “Silent Night” (Tiny Tim), “Silent Night/7 O’Clock News” (Simon & Garfunkel), “Get Right with God” (Lucinda Williams), “Jerusalem” (Steve Earle), “Carol for the Planet” (Susan Mazer & Dallas Smith), “Twelve Days of Christmas” (Rabbi Sol Solomon), “Three Nights Before Christmas” & “Twelve Months of Dave’s Gone By” (51:00) (Dave).
Dave unearths a lost audio tape of early Long Island farm broadcaster Lady Miss Ida Mae Roosevelt
Segment originally aired Jan. 22, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast:
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Dave sings a holiday carol for his show, “Twelve Months of Dave’s Gone By”
Segment originally aired Dec. 22, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Rabbi Sol Solomon sings his crabby holiday classic, “The Twelve Complaints of Christmas.”
Segment originally aired Dec. 22, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
THE TWELVE COMPLAINTS OF CHRISTMAS
(Lyrics: David Lefkowitz; Music: The traditional “The Twelve Days of Christmas”)
(spoken) Christmas? More like 12 Days of Tsuris if you ask me.
On the First Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Nothing.
On the Second Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Nothing again.
And nothing on the first day because I’m Jewish.
On the Third Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
One more time: Nothing. Nothing on the second day. Nothing.
Goornisht on the first day.
I told you: I’m Jewish!
On the Fourth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Not a damn thing.
Nothing on the third day, nothing on the second, nothing at all
Dammit! Dammit to hell!
On the Fifth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Why was I born?
I don’t get any presents, Nothing on the third day, nothing on the second,
Nothing, nothing, leave me alone!!!
On the Sixth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
I don’t have a true love;
I’ve been married for 36 years.
And I’ve given her five golden rings
Helps me a toit mit bonkes with the shrew
Foreskin, I don’t have
Trinity, I don’t need
Tu Bishvat is boring
One mother in law, I got
You want her? HEH?
On the Seventh Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
What have I been saying?
Haven’t you be listening?
I’ve been getting nothing
Why should I get anything? Can’t you tell, I’m Jewish?
What, are you retarded? Oy, how I hate the holidays.
On the Eighth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Listen, if I didn’t get anything on the first seven days,
WHY THE HELL WOULD I GET SOMETHING ON THE EIGHTH?
Please use your brains
Do I look like Santa? yes, I have a beard
No, I don’t have reindeer
I’ve never seen a reindeer
Although, apparently, they’re Kosher
But I still didn’t get anything on the first day!
On the ninth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Umm…now wait. What – hold on, what was it? I’m thinking it was… Oh yeah: NOTHING!
God, I hate this music
Everywhere you go
Every radio station
Even in the toilets
It belongs in the toilet!
It’s not like on Chanukah, we make you listen to the Dreidel song in the mall.
Whatever happened to separation of church and state?
And why does my prostate hurt
Can someone tell me that, heh? Why does my prostate hurt SO MUCH???
On the Tenth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
An Uzi, so I could shoot myself.
So they can bury me in Mount Sholem Cemetery in Farmingdale.
So maybe I’ll have a little peace for once.
Only the goyim will show up
And instead of leaving rocks and flowers on my grave,
They’ll decorate my tombstone with ornaments and lights.
Even in death, THEY TORTURE ME!
But you know what?
It would be worth it, because I’d be dead
And I wouldn’t have to wait online for an hour at K-Mart to buy a pair of socks
And I wouldn’t have to watch uplifting Christmas movies with Tiffany Amber Thiessen in them
And I wouldn’t have to hear the phrase “stocking stuffer” ever again!
On the Eleventh Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
One blood libel – ptooi, God forbid, I’m just kidding.
Look, it could be worse.
Jews have it pretty good in this country.
We can worship, we can vote
We can buy retail
We can celebrate Chanukah as if it were Christmas
Just to make our children really confused.
We can live where we want –
Well, maybe not certain sections of Scarsdale
We can eat in Kosher restaurants
We can run for President
We can control the media – or at least that’s what they say
Except, if we did control the media
Why the hell are there so many uplifting Christmas movies with Tiffany Amber Thiessen in them?
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Dave sings “The Twelve Nights of Dave’s Gone By” (originally titled “Three Nights Before Christmas”)
Segment originally aired Dec. 22, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
THREE NIGHTS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
by David Lefkowitz
On the first night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: News Gone By and the World Weird Web about Shooby (shadobalabashraw)
On the second night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: A tirade about smoking Sound effects and choking At 11 to midnight on GBB.
On the third night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: The Puff Sullivan Letter Angry LIPA guy And a critique of Say Goodnight, Gracie.
On the fourth night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to theen: Pre-tampered yummies Actress Karen Young Jokes about Verizon And a bunch of goodies tied to Halloween.
On the fifth night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: The Giving Chimp! A review of Movin’ Out Crooked politicians LaRouche on the web And “Peter Pumpkinhead” by XTC.
On the sixth night of Dave’s Gone By, WGBB gave Dave a new timeslot He played William Finn Also Lonnie Donegan And the hippie, Donovan Even Homer Simpson And old Coco, the poet chimpanzee.
On the seventh night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: Osama bin Laden Good ol’ Bobby Dylan Eilert Pilarm! A Warren Zevon tribute Rock throwing in India (in the Chhindwara district of Madhya Pradesh) Eating sushi naked And a new commuter tax for you and me.
Oh, the eighth night of Dave’s Gone By was quite a joyful spree: Rabbi Solomon hosted He lit the candles He played the dreidel He played Adam Sandler And a little klezmer Bitched about the Arabs And Bobby Fischer Plus a poem on pedophile Pee-Wee.
On the ninth day of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: “Trees” by Joyce Kilmer “Tuesdays with Morrie” “My Old Lady” Wilson’s Book of Days Dead Kurt Cobain! A bit by Woody Allen Sponsorship info Two insurance sketches And a psychic hotline like TV.
On the tenth night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: Steve Herbst, the Whistler He did Stevie Wonder, Sondheim and Led Zeppelin and Bruce Springsteen! Drugged-out Whitney Houston Kissinger’s back Dave’s name on a urinal And a poem on Cablevision fees.
On the eleventh night of Dave’s Gone By, Dave gave to thee: Trent Lott’s apology Critic Charlie Gross Music by Frank Zappa United Airlines MTA strike Two killer pitbulls Scientist who burned his penis! Right-wing Joe Salzone Bush and the economy Bloomberg on a bike And the Man of La Mancha on CD.
Whoa, the twelfth night of Dave’s Gone By was full of songs and joy `Cause the past eleven weeks, I’ve been able to annoy: Gospel-seeking listeners Those who worship Elvis Those who loathe Neil Young Republicans Pro-Palestinians Born-again Christians Self-hating Jews All my engineers! People who hate theater People who love theater L.I. Cablevision And the people who don’t want me to be me.
(spoken) But it’s all I can be. So happy holidays, everybody.
Segment aired Dec. 15, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast:
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Dave Lefkowitz interviews theater critic Charles Gross
Topics include: Two on the Aisle, Broadway
Segment aired Dec. 15, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
click above for episode #11 (audio only)Click above to listen to the episode (audio only).
Here is the 11th episode of the long-running radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired on Long Island, NY’s WGBB-AM radio, Dec. 15, 2002. Info: davesgoneby.com.
host: Dave Lefkowitz guests: broadcaster Joe Salzone and theater critic Charles Gross (“Two on the Aisle”).
Featuring: Dave gets cultural with theater critic Charles Gross and interviews WGBB host Joe Salzone. Plus: the political skit “Thanks a Lott” and a birthday tribute to Frank Zappa.
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN 00:04:00 NEWS GONE BY 00:09:00 SKIT: Thanks a Lott 00:19:00 DAVE’S GONE CULTURAL w/ theater critic, Charles Gross 00:29:00 DAVE’S GOT GUESTS w/ radio host, Joe Salzone 00:50:00 Birthday tribute to Frank Zappa 00:54:00 DAVE GOES OUT
December 15, 2002 Playlist: “The Impossible Dream” (Man of La Mancha), “Trouble Every Day” (Frank Zappa & the Mothers of Invention).
Senator Trent Lott offers an apology for his racially insensitive praise of Strom Thurmond.
Segment originally aired Dec. 15, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast. Complete Original Broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Dave Lefkowitz interviews whistling aficionado Steve Herbst
Topics include: whistling.
Segment aired Dec. 8, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
