ARCHIVES – RABBI SOL SOLOMON – Page 54

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #049 (12/16/2012): Molest We Forget

click above to listen (audio file)

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #049 (12/16/2012): Molest We Forget

Aired December 15, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxQnpP0RbMI

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of December 16th, 2012.

Oy! Happy end of Chanukah, everybody. Why do I say that with such resignation and dispiritedness? Because just when we need to be showing the world that Jews take a higher moral ground . . . Just when we need to be reminding Christians that we’re not evil, we didn’t kill Jesus, we belong in the land of Israel because we earned and deserve it . . . Just when we should show off that Jews are a model of the three L’s: Learning, Law and Lokshen kugel – the Orthodox community of Williamsburg Brooklyn displays the worst of the three I’s: Inhumanity, Insularity and I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with them.

By now you’ve no doubt heard about Rabbi Nechemya Weberman – a Jew, unfortunately, who was convicted of repeated sexual abuse of a young girl. He’s facing 25 years in the slammer for making this shayna maydel act out porn films for him, give him oral sex, and buy things for him retail. And this all started when she was just twelve years old. My God, he used to burn her stomach with a cigarette lighter and then tell her to soothe it with peanut butter when she got home. Peanut butter! I mean, almond butter I understand, but peanut butter?!

I’m making jokes about all this because the truth is so goddamn horrible all you can do is laugh. This monster turned the girl’s parents against her and threatened to toss the whole family out of the religious order if she dared to come forward with her stories. It wasn’t until she switched to a less religious school and started opening up to teachers and counselors there that the truth came out – because the truth always comes out – if not in this world, then the next. If some sect is so tight-knit that a leader can get away with sexual abuse until the day he days, you can bet when he gets to the gates of heaven, Elijah’s up there going, “So, did you observe the Sabbath?”
“Oh yes, every week.”
“Did you give tzedakah to the poor?”
“Absolutely. And I didn’t even do it for the tax deduction, I really meant it!”
“Did you keep all the kosher laws?”
“Are you kidding? I waited ten hours between having meat and milk – not six, ten!”
“Well, Rabbi, I see no reason not to open these gates and let you into paradise. Welcome to – wait a second. Did you make 14-year-old girls masturbate you while you watched Amy Irving in “Yentl?”
“Well, I, uh – ”
“Did you make a teenage boy eat your shmekel and then warn him that if he tattled on you, God would throw him into the fires of hell?”
“Well, I, uh – ”
“Rabbi, you might wanna know, that boy was up here 30 years ago. `Cause he killed himself when he was 17. Good news, though – he’s having a fantastic time. He’s up on cloud nine playing X-box with Anne Frank. You however . . . I hope you brought sunscreen.”

It should not take years or lifetimes to expose revolting behavior like this to the light. Coverups are for dark circles under the eyes, not dark blotches on the soul. And just when you thought the story of Rabbi Weberman couldn’t get any worse, it gets worse. Another Rabbi, Nachum Rosenberg – who probably will be going to heaven, by the way – Rabbi Rosenberg is a longtime advocate for speaking out against abusers. He’s been an oasis for girls and boys who have been subjected to the terrors of sexual assault and the even greater horrors of psychological suppression. He’s been begging the Satmer community to stop sheltering the guilty, stop keeping the laws of America from touching – you should pardon the pun – from penetrating – you should pardon the pun – from affecting this insular Satmer sect.

But no good deed goes unpunished. On his outspoken blog, Rabbi Rosenberg accused the owner of a local fish market of abusing young boys. Now, this may or may not be true, and because this community resists legitimate investigations, finding out the truth can be harder than catching a squid in a butter tank. But one day the Rabbi is strolling through his neighborhood when the son of the fishmarket owner comes up to him. He’s holding a jar of liquid which turns out to be bleach – tosses the bleach in the Rabbi’s face and runs away. Had he not washed his eyes very quickly after the incident, the Rebbe would have gone blind. His shirts would have been really clean but his vision not so good.

Now, because this is the son of the accused, and everything on both sides is just allegation at this point, I will reserve judgment on the particulars of this incident. However, it serves as an object lesson on what happens when you spend years sweeping landmines under the rug. Eventually they start going off in every possible direction, hurting the innocent, the guilty and the just-plain fishy.

And it’s happening in this case because these tight cults want to do everything in-house. No need for police intervention, no need to wash dirty tallises in public; they can monitor everything and keep the outside world out. But do they self-govern? Yes, exactly the way the Catholic church handles the scandals. Got a pedophile priest? Push him from parish to parish. Exactly the way an American president reacts to a sexual boo-boo or a military blunder – deny, discredit, dismiss. That’s way too much alliteration for one paragraph, and way, way too much lying and ducking responsibility on the part of people who should know better.

How sad that thanks to Rabbi Weberman, Rabbis will now be lumped in the same pile as pervo priests – even though, one hopes, and prays, the rotten apples make up just a teeny percentage of Orthodox orchard.

That said, when it comes to sexual misconduct in our community, it’s obvious this is just the tip of the iceberg. And the Goldberg. And the Kleinberg. The Satmers, and every other sect, when dealing with sex, need to be diligent and transparent and not make excuses and exits for evil.

This is gonna get much bigger and uglier before it gets better. So we have to urge the victims don’t be intimidated. Don’t be brainwashed or shouted down. You have to stick it out, because if you don’t, some Rabbi’s gonna stick it out – and in.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29271

Dave’s Gone By Interview (12/15/2012): LINDY S. HUDIS & Rabbi Sol Solomon

click above to listen (audio only)

Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with fiction author Lindy S. Hudis (“Crashers,” “The S&M Club”)

Topics include: writing and filmmaking.

Segment originally aired Dec. 15, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

Complete Original Broadcast: http://www.totaltheater.com/?q=node/4681

All content (c)2012 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #48 (12/9/2012): Chanukah

click above to listen (audio file)

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #48 (12/9/2012): Chanukah

Aired December 8, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://youtu.be/E8lvJUkZOQs

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of December 9th, 2012.

Happy Chanukah everybody! What a joy to find ourselves lighting the menorah, spinning the dreidel, eating the latkes, and making believe we’re not jealous of the people across the street celebrating Christmas. December, the very fulcrum of winter, is the perfect time for a holiday that brings us all together for food and fun. Actually, January would be better because December is still close to Thanksgiving and you have more football, but I’m not one to bitch.

To be honest, Chanukah is not the most important holiday. Passover, when we got the hell out of Egypt, that was bigger. Shavuot, where God gave us the Torah – that’s a big one, too. Yom Kippur, where we beg HaShem to forget what a bunch of schmucks we are, pretty major. Chanukah merely celebrates a military victory. Jerusalem was under the control of Syrians and Greeks who forbade the practice of Judaism. Matisyahu – not the reggae, the rebel – Matisyahu and his family rebelled, killed a few people, and took to the hills for training. They came back as an army and forced the Greeks out of the Holy Land.

When Jews went to re-claim the great temple, they saw that it had been defiled. Pigs were slaughtered on the altar. False idols were placed in positions of worship. A giant screen was tuned to QVC. The Jews immediately set about purifying the synagogue. And they probably also repainted a little because there was chipping and you could see the primer. Anyhoo, they started to burn some ritual oil in the candelabra. There was only a teeny bit left, so they figured it would burn for a day or two. What a shock when that minuscule drop of oil stayed lit for eight full days. I had an uncle who stayed lit for ten days, but it took him a case of Jack Daniels to do it. Eight days was just long enough to re-consecrate the temple, long enough to make our children say, “Eh, it’s just chocolate money, but we get it for a week!”

What is the modern significance of Chanukah? What do we learn from this Festival of Lights? First of all, we learn that you can do almost anything if you put your mind to it. One Jewish family defied the laws of the land and created a revolution. Instead of bowing before the Greeks – because we all know, Greeks like it when people bend over – they triumphed as the Maccabees. “Mac” because they became the Syrians’ mac daddies; “bees” because they stung the enemy in the tuchas.

We also learn that miracles happen if you let a little faith go a long way. Have you ever bought a lightbulb that was supposed to last a year, and a decade later, the thing’s still working? It happens. In the hands of HaShem, time is a malleable construct. Sometimes, when I give a sermon, people tell me they look at their watch and it’s been twenty minutes – but it feels like seven hours. A miracle!

Most importantly, we learn from the Chanukah holiday that things can look as bleak and horrible as the schmutz on the bottom of a toaster oven. But HaShem gives us the blessing of change. To quote Bob Dylan, “The wheel’s still in spin.” 2,200 years ago, the Temple was trashed and out of Jewish hands, and then, a week later, it’s ready for kosher catering. So when we look at the crisis in the middle east, or the fiscal cliff, or the music of Kid Rock, we have to say, “It’s all right. The world turns, and nothing truly lasts forever. Except an Orthodox seder.”

But that’s a different holiday. This one is Chanukah with candles and dreidels and latkes and Adam Sandler and jelly donuts and, thanks to fracking, enough oil to last eight centuries.

Dreidel dreidel dreidel,
I made you out of plexiglass.
And if you don’t like Chanukah,
Then you can kiss my sexy ass.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29312

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #47 (11/25/2012): Gaza Gaza Hey

click above to listen (audio file)

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #47 (11/25/2012): Gaza Gaza Hey

Aired November 24, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSL0TEmRah4&feature=youtu.be

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of November 25th, 2012.

And so we find ourselves once again on the brink of war with our Arab brothers. We warn them: stop firing rockets in Gaza; they fire rockets in Gaza, and Jerusalem, and Tel Aviv. We tell them, recognize the state of Israel so we can have a starting point for peace talks; they want to obliterate Israel, instead. We say, Hamas and the Palestinian Authority have to be on the same page so we know whom to negotiate with; Mahmoud Abbas is a figurehead and Hamas fires weapons. It’s the same drek that’s been going on for sixty five years, and the tragedy is that it will go on long after our great-great-grandchildren are sipping prune juice in what’s left of Miami.

And, of course, Israel gets blamed. We’re the aggressors, we’re the ones occupying the territories, we’re the ones who own the pro-Jewish media, we’re the ones who keep making sitcom knock-offs of “Two and a Half Men.” A million and twelve times I’ve given my speech about how Israel belongs to Israel, how the Palestinians should go live anywhere else in the Arab world, and how no matter what Israel does – even if Israel were, God forbid, wiped off the map – that would not stop the Arabs from killing and terror and dragging the world back to the fifth century. If anything, it would only embolden them: “Ooh, we destroyed a democracy filled with people who have different social values. Gee, what other country can we do that to?”

Left-wing pundits are saying that Israel should not refuse to negotiate with terrorists. You have to negotiate with Arab terrorists or else there’s no one to talk to. Fine, let Israel negotiate with Hamas, just like we did with Yasser Arafat – because that was so productive, right? If Hamas, or Al-Qaida, or the Taliban, or the PLO, or the AFLCIO want to lay down their weapons and negotiate a true ceasefire – great, get a room at the U.N., we’ll bring the chips and dip. But sixty-five years of overtures to the Arab world have given us only one peace deal, with Egypt, and God knows where that’s headed after the revolution over there.

I’ll say it one more time: if Arabs want to live in Israel, fine. Let them live IN Israel, peacefully, as Israelis, in a Jewish state carved out of a tiny nugget of the middle east as recompense for the Holocaust. If the Arabs don’t want to live IN Israel, they can move to Jordan, or Syria, or Lebanon, or Iran, or Iraq, or Mexico, or Sudan – actually, I just threw Mexico in there to see if you were paying attention. And if the Arabs want to live near Israel, they have to stop sending us exploding Christmas gifts with “Made in Iran” on them.

Yes, Israel gets gazillions of dollars of weapons from the United States – so Israel can keep the Middle East stable instead of having to send American teenagers to do it. And yes, living conditions are grueling in the occupied territories – so don’t live there! Israel won those territories in two wars, they own it – get over it, get off it.

Israel is not going away. It’s our teentsy-weentsy little homeland, and the Arab world – which really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the Palestinians or else the Palestinians would all be living there – the Arab world hates the West, hates the Jews, and has no interest in any kind of peace that does not involve total and complete annihilation of its enemies. Well, maybe not complete annihilation. They’d probably want to leave a few hundred behind just to torture.

At this time of Thanksgiving, let us pray for a cease fire, for cool heads and hopeful headlines, for lasting peace, and for a 48-inch HD TV with surround sound. Hey, at least I have a shot at that last one.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

–> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=29318

Dave’s Gone By Interview (11/24/2012): RICK LENZ & Rabbi Sol Solomon

click above to listen (audio only)

Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with actor and author Rick Lenz.

Topics include: Rick Lenz’s Hollywood career, in-laws, marriages, substance issues and creative rebound.

Segment originally aired Nov. 24, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

All content (c)2012 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (11/17/2012): FRANK DECARO & Rabbi Sol Solomon

click above to listen (audio only)

Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with humorist and author Frank DeCaro. (Introduction by Dave Lefkowitz)

Topics include: Hollywood, homosexuality and The Dead Celebrity Cookbook

Segment originally aired Nov. 17, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (10/27/2012): DAVID YAZBEK & Rabbi Sol Solomon

click above to listen (audio only)

Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with musician and Broadway composer-lyricist David Yazbek.

Topics include: Broadway, The Full Monty, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.

Segment originally aired Oct. 27, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (10/27/2012): JEFFREY GURIAN & Rabbi Sol Solomon

click above to listen (audio only)

Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with comedian and comedy club emcee Jeffrey Gurian.

Topics include: The Comic Strip and Jeff’s book, “Make `em Laugh.”

Segment originally aired Oct. 27, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (10/13/2012): RABBI SAMUEL INTRATOR & Rabbi Sol Solomon

click above to listen (audio only)

Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with Samuel Intrator, former Rabbi of NYC’s Carlebach Synagogue and member of Real Peace Middle East.

Topics include: Israel, Shlomo Carlebach, politics, Real Peace Middle East.

Segment originally aired Oct. 13, 2012 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit: RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #46 (10/7/2012): Dave’s Gone By Anniversary

click above to listen (audio file)

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #46 (10/7/2012): Dave’s Gone By Anniversary

Aired October 7, 2012 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: Dave’s Gone By Anniversary.

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of October 7th, 2012.

Ten years ago, on a little radio station in Merrick, New York, my good friend Dave Lefkowitz took it upon himself to create a radio program. A program that would mix funny and serious, music and talking, celebrities and nobodies, all with a healthy dose of low-power, AM radio static. He called it “Dave’s Gone By,” and the program debuted October 6th, 2002.

Reaction was immediate. Not since the invention of the Happy Hot Dog Man has an event been met with such a breathtaking combination of loathing and apathy. And yet Dave persevered, week after week, month after month (and on the Hebrew calendar, we sometimes have 13 months a year, so that’s even longer), year after year until here we are, a decade later. For reasons only HaShem knows, Dave’s Gone By is still on the radio, still maintaining its unique format, still passing for entertainment.

Many Jews have been guests on Dave’s Gone By. Not as many as I’d like, but still. Fyvush Finkel, Bruce Adler, Shecky Greene, Robby Benson, Gilbert Gottfried, Bonnie Franklin, Joe Franklin, Tovah Feldshuh – with that name, she actually counts as two Jews – Neil Sedaka, Jill Sobule, Theodore Bikel, Oscar Brand, David Bromberg, Sheldon Harnick – the list goes on and on, much as I do in temple.

Most importantly, though, ten years ago I was in that dilapidated little radio station taking part in the very first Dave’s Gone By episode. Before I began doing my weekly Rabbinical Reflections, Dave would have me on his program occasionally to celebrate the Jewish holidays, to offer my thoughts on current events, and to perform the occasional circumcision on his political enemies.

I remember my very first appearance on the show. As a public service for women listening in the audience, I explained the importance of checking yourself for breast cancer. I even demonstrated, squeezing my own man-kneidels to look for lumps. I would have preferred a female volunteer but no one entered the contest, and the last girl I tried that with screamed “rape,” so I made do with what I had.

Since that time in 2002, I have appeared on dozens of Dave’s Gone By episodes conducting interviews, singing, bestowing blessings, and every single time I am grateful to my friend, Dave, for giving me the opportunity to reach his loyal single-digit listenership. Now that he is on this exciting radio station at the University of Northern Colorado, I hope to keep sharing my Rabbinical Reflections for many years to come, offering, as always, a little thought, a little laughter, and a lot of yelling.

That is why I would like to close today’s reflection with a special blessing for Dave and his radio show.

(sings) Baruch atah Duvid Lefkowitz, entertainer, melech of the mic. You make no money but you persevere. You’re the bagel, I’m the shmear. We’re all glad you’re here. Amen.

Happy Anniversary, Duvid. And good luck finding a real job someday.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.