Tag: Dave’s Gone By

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #002 (7/30/2014): FOOTBALL

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The 2nd Wretched Pun of Destiny aired on Dave’s Gone By, Aug. 2, 2014. 

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2014 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

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2.
This huge football fan is excited that the new season is starting soon, so he wants to invite all his buddies for a party on the day of the first game. He heads to the local printing shop and tells the owner he wants to send out invitation cards that would be fun for them to RSVP.

“No problem,” says the shop owner. “We can make the perfect cards. We’ll put the team logos right on the cover and all the information. How do you want the words to look?”

“Well, that’s your department,” says the fan. “I just want something that’s right for sports, guys, football – you know.”

“I know the perfect style,” says the shop guy. “The American Library Association uses a typeface and font that we always use for this kind of invitation.”

The fan says, “Fantastic, go for it! It’s the Broncos vs. the New York Jets. Here’s a list of the Broncos fans I’m inviting, so put their logo on those cards; and here’s a list of the Jets fans. Just make the same exact card, only with the Jet logo, instead.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”

“What do you mean, you can’t do that?”

“Well, we can do it for the Bronco fans, no problem. But not New York.”

“Why the heck not?” asks the fan.

“Haven’t you ever heard the expression, “An ALA Font, Never For Jets?”

Dave’s Gone By Wretched Pun of Destiny #001 (7/19/2014): OPRAH

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The 1st Wretched Pun of Destiny aired July 19, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2016 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

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1.
If you’ve been to Starbucks recently, you know that Oprah Winfrey has a new line of Chai teas. Well, they’ve been so successful, Oprah goes to her marketing and research-and-development people and asks if they could create more lines of tea that she could brand in the same way.

“I’m glad you asked,” says the head R&D guy. “We’ve been working on this new project that we think is perfect for your brand. It’s a line of tea made from essential fish oils.”

Oprah makes a face. “You’re not serious?”

“No, really! I know how it sounds, but they taste great. They’re healthy, they smell amazing, people get their omega fatty acids – here, just try one!”

So the guy brings out a hot cup of tea. “This is yellowtail. Just taste it.”

Oprah does and gasps, “This is delicious! No bad smell, and it looks lovely. And it’s fish oil?”

“Exactly!” laughs the R&D guy. “And we can have whole line of them: Oprah Salmon Tea. Oprah Tilapia Tea. Oprah Swordfish Tea. And I haven’t even shown you the best part!”

The guy brings out all these cups of dry tea and gives Oprah a big kettle of hot water.

“Go ahead, pour!” he says.

So Oprah pours boiling water into the first cup. As soon as she does, she hears this loud, incessant, knocking sound. “What’s that?” she laughs.

“That’s the surprise! The tea leaves are so tightly compacted, the second the boiling water hits them, it sets off chemical reactions that make a racket. It’s a great novelty, and you can market it like crazy. Try some more!”

So Oprah pours water onto the Flounder Tea, and she hears, “knock knock knock knock…” She does it on the Monkfish Tea – same thing. Pretty soon there’s a riot of noise as she’s boiling the Mackerel Tea, the Redfish Tea, the Trout Tea . . .

Finally, she gets to the one with tuna fish and pours the water on it, but all she hears is one single “knock.” “Hmm, let me try another one,” she says. So they hand her another cup of the tuna, she pours the water in, but again, just a single “knock.”

“Well, this is incredibly promising,” Oprah raves. “I love the whole line, and I can’t wait to get it going. Of course, you’re gonna have to bring this last one back for more testing.  All the others made so much noise; it’s a shame the tuna is so quiet. Can you fix it?”

The R&D man looks at her aghast and replies, “Oh, heavens no! Oprah Tuna Tea Only Knocks Once!”

Dave’s Gone By Interview (5/10/2014): FRANK FERRANTE & Rabbi Sol Solomon

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Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews Groucho maestro FRANK FERRANTE

Topics include: Groucho Marx, Marx Brothers, comedy, TeatroZinzanni, Arthur Marx.

Segment aired May 10, 2014 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2014 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Song (7/20/2013): TRAYVON

ZZ-Song-Trayvon
A song about the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman confrontation and trial.

Segment aired July 20, 2013, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2013 TotalTheater Productions.
Lyrics & Performance by Dave Lefkowitz. Melody originally written by Sonny West, Bill Tilghman and Norman Petty and made famous by Buddy Holly.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Interview (12/17/2011): GILBERT GOTTFRIED

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Dave Lefkowitz interviews comedian Gilbert Gottfried

Topics include: 9/11, the Hugh Hefner Roast, The Aristocrats, the Holocaust.

Segment originally aired Dec. 17, 2011 on the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Sad Note: Our friend of the Daverhood, Gilbert Gottfried, passed April 12, 2022. 

Note: Interview segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2011 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Song (3/17/2010): DRINK `TIL I’M DRUNK

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(c)2010 Dave Lefkowitz
NOTE: This St. Patrick’s Day debuted March 17, 2010 on the 325th episode of the “Dave’s Gone By” show.
I’m not Irish, but I wish I were
`Cause the Irish love their fun
When the Irish come to celebrate
They don’t stop till the potcheen’s done

So although I’m not an Irishman
I can hold my glass up high
I can drink just like an Irishman
And I will until I die

That is why I’m tight
Each and every night
Fill my glass, and all will be right
When I…
Drink, drink, drink `til I’m drunk
Then drink until I’m sick

Rugby and politics, pour me a shot
Mountbatten really deserved what he got
Grab me a Guinness; grab me a stout
I won’t stop `til it all vomits out
When I drink, drink, drink `til I’m drunk
And drink until I’m sick.

Watch me stumble out of the bar
Onto the sidewalk and into my car
When I come swerving into your lane
Hoist up a glass, and we’ll drink up again
When we drink, drink, drink `til we’re drunk
And drink until we’re sick.

Everyone dresses so festive and gay
Wearing the green on St. Paddy’s Day
Thanks to the whuskee and thanks to the booze
I’m wearing green from my mouth to my shoes
When I drink, drink, drink `til I’m drunk
And drink until I’m sick.

Drink `til I stagger, drink `til I fall
and cover the sidewalk with throat alcohol
Call me a loser, call me a jerk
Still, it beats taxes, marriage, and work

So I drink, drink, drink `til I’m drunk
And drink until I’m sick
(everybody!)
Drink, drink, drink `til you’re drunk
And drink until you’re sick
(one more time!)
Drink, drink, drink `til you’re drunk
And drink until you’re sick!

(c)2010 Dave Lefkowitz. All rights reserved.

Dave’s Gone By Interview (11/18/2004): HILLARY KANTER & Rabbi Sol Solomon


HillaryKanter
Rabbi Sol Solomon interviews “Dating Sucks” author Hillary Kanter

Topics include: dating, Judaism.

Segment originally aired Nov. 18, 2004 as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.

All content (c)2004 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More information on Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com

Dave’s Gone By Song (5/11/2003): M-O-T-H-E-R

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Dave sings a Mother’s Day tribute to moms, acronymically.

Song aired May 11, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.

All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

M-O-T-H-E-R

by David Lefkowitz

M is for the Miracle of birth
O is for the Ovum growing free
T is for the Trouble that I caused her
H is for the Hysterectomy (six months later)
E is for Episiotomy scars
R is for three months in the Recovery Room

Put them all together they spell “MOTHER”
The only girl to want me in her womb.

©2003 David Lefkowitz

Dave’s Gone By Skit (11/3/2002): PETER BYFIELD

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Dave plays a paid political announcement from a non-molesting candidate.

Segment originally aired Nov. 3, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode

All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com

Dave’s Gone By Skit (11/3/2002): THE GIVING CHIMP

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Dave reads an early (and justly rejected) draft of Shel Silverstein’s famous story, “The Giving Tree,” titled “The Giving Chimp”

Segment originally aired Nov. 3, 2002, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.

Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.

All content (c)2002 TotalTheater Productions.

More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com