Segment aired Sept. 22, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
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If Minnesota can have a radio home companion, why not suburban Long Island?
Segment originally aired Sept. 22, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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Radio host Joe Salzone interviews Russell Weller,* the 86-year-old man whose Buick LeSabre plowed into 60 people at a Santa Monica Farmer’s Market.
*not really. Segment originally aired July 20, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz. Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
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More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
Segment originally aired June 29, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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Dave unearths a patriotic war song from the not-so-good-old days.
Segment originally aired May 3, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
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CAPTAIN LIFLANDER’S MADRIGAL
Oh, Americans crave a tranquil life We just want to live in peace But the planet gives us war and strife And it does not seem to cease
So we send our soldiers overseas To protect our global plan To bring our enemies to their knees We’ll fight to the very last man.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dan.
If Saddam Hussein wants to bitch and complain And to hide his poison gas We’ll bomb his fields And shall not yield Till we kick some towelhead ass.
After that, look out Afghanistan `Cause we’re coming back for more For we bombed a slew of civilians there No one cares if we kill a few more.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dor.
All this fear and fright from the Yemenites Is a game we will not play We will torture and kill each terrorist – Where the hell is Yemen anyway?
And if Saudi Arabia doesn’t toe the line We can bomb their palaces, too And we’ll pick that Black Hawk up again From the streets of Mogadishu.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye doo.
To fight fundamentalists in Iran We must aid and strengthen the Kurds Disembowel the Sikhs Those heathen freaks By dropping bombs like turds
Oh, the Hindus and the Pakis, too, They will dance to Yankee jigs For the only way to keep Indians free Is to treat them just like nigs
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye digs.
We shall go to Northern Ireland To remove hostility We’ll hide strychnine in the Catholics’ ale Cyanide in the Protestants’ tea
If the Russkies dare to pollute our air With threats of nuclear attack We will give those worms Some smallpox germs And the Chechen rebels, anthrax
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dax.
If the Chinese hun won’t leave Taiwan We shall push them under the waves We shall strafe them all by the Beijing wall Put fortune cookies on their graves
We shall visit North Korea next And we’ll blast those gooks to hell Maybe this time we can push them back To the 35th Parallel.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dell.
We will stand in the sand of Palestine Show the Yids who’s really boss Blow the head off any Arab kid With a stone he’s planning to toss
Oh, the Ivory Coast will soon be toast When we force Gbagbo to retrench We will give all the rebels Pepsi and Coke Just to thumb our nose at the French
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dench.
When I see those hateful pacifist How I loathe to see them whine For they do not know how urgent it is To protect the bottom line
So if some young soldiers have to die For the good old USA Let them blow our enemies to the sky For that’s the American way.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-hooray.
With a row-dow, row-diddle dow, With a row-dow diddle-aye dench.
Rabbi Sol Solomon sings his version of the Passover standard “Dayenu.”
Segment originally aired April 13, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
DAYENU 2003
Oh, even if He had been sleeping While six million Jews were slaughtered Even though He watched us tortured, Dayenu. (Dayenu) Day Dayenu, Day Dayenu, Day Dayenu, Dayenu Dayenu
Even if the Muslim putzes Weren’t blowing up our buses Yadda Yadda Intifadeh, Dayenu (Dayenu) We’re all crazy . . . about you Couldn’t live without you Who needs happiness?
Even if there was no Hitler Even if there was no Haman Why so many snippy gay men? Dayenu (Dayenu) We are chosen So we’re coping Still, we’re hoping You’ll choose someone else.
Even if we have big noses Even if we’re prone to hair loss Even if there was no Tay-Sachs, Dayenu (Dayenu) God is looking God is watching God is botching everything He does.
Even when the goyim tease us Even when the gulags freeze us It’s okay, we murdered Jesus, Dayenu (Dayenu)
Day Day Dammit, Day Day Dammit, Day Day Dammit Let’s sing it one more time (why don’t we?) Day Day Dammit, Day Day Dammit, Day Day Dammit And circumcision hurts, oy!
The thoughts of a U.S. Army private sent overseas to where they don’t like us.
Segment originally aired March 30, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
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Dave’s rah-rah ballad to mark the start of the war in Iraq.
Segment originally aired March 23, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode.
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WHEN BUSHIE GOES MARCHING IN
by David Lefkowitz (sung to “When Johnny Comes Marching Home” by Patrick Gilmore)
When Bushie goes marching in again Iraq, Iraq His useless dad can grin again Iraq, Iraq The job he botched in `91 Will get cleaned up by his evil song The fun begins as Bushie goes marching in.
It’s time to make the Muslims see Iraq, Iraq That they should live like you and me Iraq, Iraq That it is right and it is good To smoke and drink and eat fast food And to watch TV when Bushie goes marching in
Who flew the planes on 9-11? Iraq, Iraq And when the dirty deed was done Iraq, Iraq We blamed it on Osama bin Laden But soon his name was nearly forgotten Don’t look for sense when Bushie goes marching in.
The French, the Russians and Chinese Iraq, Iraq Make hypocritical calls for peace Iraq, Iraq But Bush and Cheney, they don’t care So what if they sacrifice Tony Blair? You can smell the sleaze everywhere When Bushie goes marching in
And if a few Americans die Iraq, Iraq If poison gas makes children cry Iraq, Iraq That’s just the price we pay, you know, For Haliburton’s portfolio It’ll go sky-high so Bushie goes marching in.
The more things change the more they don’t Iraq, Iraq With Bush in charge, they surely won’t Iraq, Iraq `Cause moguls do whatever they wanna When there’s a pax Americana It’s all death and dishonna When Bushie goes marching in When Bushie goes marching in When Bushie goes marching in When Bushie goes marching in . . . (fade)
Rabbi Sol Solomon sings a Purim song about the resilience of the Jews.
Segment originally aired March 16, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast: Full Episode
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DON’T MESS WITH US
If you try to kill the Jews Here’s a little piece of news: God will stop you, and he’ll drop you dead instead He got Hitler He got Haman And a dozen I’m not namin’ So don’t mess with the Jews Or you’ll lose
If your aim is genocide Then you’d better run and hide `cause HaShem will turn the tide until you drown Every exile and pogrom We’ve emerged triumphant from `Cause the Lord is our sword and our drum
So if you’re a neo-Nazi And you think you’re hotsy-totsy Or you’re blowing up civilians on a bus You had best leave us alone Or we’ll hora on your bones You’ll be stuck, Chuck, so don’t muck with us.
So listen here, you goyim Every girl and every boyim Anti-Semitism brings you only tears `Cause HaShem is in our corner He will make your mom a mourner For the sake of your kids Be a friend to the Yids Treat us nice, treat us well Or you’ll barbecue in hell It’s been like this for 5000 years.
On a trip to Ireland, Dave and his wife encounter a legend who inspires Dave’s song, “Seamus, the Urine Man.”
Segment originally aired March 16, 2003, as part of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full show with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast. Full Episode
All content (c)2003 TotalTheater Productions. More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com