click above to watch episode #980click above to listen (audio only)
Here is the 980th episode of the long-running radio show/video podcast, Dave’s Gone By, which aired live on Facebook, Saturday morning, March 15, 2025.
Featuring: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #191 (Mahmoud Khalil), Greeley Times; Bunion Watch; Dave’s Big Dictionary (stratagem); StoryTime (Farmer White’s Best Friend); Colorado Limerick of the Damned (Bristol).
00:00:01 DAVE GOES IN w/ Joyce: big duck, pie, Chipotle, Baylen’s tics 00:58:30 GREELEY TIMES 01:18:00 DAVE GOES FURTHER IN w/ Joyce: rest-stop frogs 01:28:00 STORYTIME: Farmer White’s Best Friend 01:41:00 BUNION WATCH: Pringles! 01:46:30 DAVE’S BIG DICTIONARY: stratagem 01:58:30 DAVE GOES OFF: The Trumpet of the Swan 02:11:30 RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #191: Mahmoud Khalil 02:20:00 Friends of the Daverhood 02:29:30 COLORADO LIMERICK OF THE DAMNED: Bristol, CO 02:33:30 DAVE GOES OUT
Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #192 (3/15/2025): MAHMOUD KHALIL
This Rabbinical Reflection first aired March 15, 2025 the Dave’s Gone By video podcast.
Rabbi Sol’s Rabbinical Reflections are heard on the long-running Dave’s Gone By radio/video podcast program (davesgoneby.com) and then archived as text and audio on the Rebbe’s blog, Shalomdammit.com, where a transcript of this Reflection may be read.
Rabbi Sol is also the creator of the stage show, “Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon,” which played in NYC in Nov. 2011 and Aug. 2012.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More on Rabbi Sol: shalomdammit.com
TRANSCRIPT:
Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for mid-March 2025.
Let me tell you about a man who’s having all sorts of trouble…because he made all sorts of trouble. It’s a fella named Mahmoud Khalil, a foreign-born graduate of Columbia University now facing deportation even though he has a green card. Why would he be taken from his home, without arrest, and threatened with expulsion from this great country? Why would our power-mad president focus on this individual and make an example of him, even though he has seemingly committed no crime?
I’ll tell you why. Because this Khalil snake, that the left wing—including Jews — have embraced to the point of calling him chummily by his first name, Mahmoud, like he’s their innocent little brother, this Khalil got himself involved in protests at Columbia that did break laws, that did threaten people, that knowingly disrupted access to college life on campus.
Understand something about this Khalil character — one reason he’s here is because when he was a kid, his family to had escape their homeland of Syria. Yes, Israel is such a violent and terrible oppressor of the Arab world; meanwhile, 580 million harmonious, Koran-loving Syrians slaughtered each other in their own Civil War. Where were all the campus protests about that little party, I wonder?
Anyhoo, Khalil comes to the US on a student visa and starts working on his master’s degree, yet somehow he has time to get involved in all these anti-Israel demonstrations. In fact, he was suspended from Columbia when police swooped down on one of the protests that occupied and vandalized buildings. Khalil says he was just there to negotiate between the students and the admins, but why was he tangled up with these yahoos in the first place?
Which goes to why this is more than just a case of a harmless imbecile engaging in free speech. Or even hateful speech. Khalil can rant all he wants about Zionist oppression and Israeli “apartheid,” but if you are leading a group that creates unsafe conditions and then refuses to pack up its tents and go when the police say, “pack up your tents and go,” your green card hits a red light.
Khalil says he spent the last two years deliberately threading the needle—not getting too close to the lawbreaking, not spending his nights on the lawns or blocking pathways to school buildings. How prudent of him. And yet, despite keeping one foot on the sidelines, he still provided aid and comfort to our lawbreaking enemies. So you Jews who are defending this piece of rancid hummus in the name of free speech, wake up. The Khalil case is about unlawful assembly, intimidation, and destruction of property. It’s just icing on the cake that he supports virulent anti-Israel rhetoric from radicals who champion a race of people who frequently cut off heads in the name of religion—the religion of peace, no less.
So grant Mahmoud Kha-loser his due process. Give him a fair trial and allow him to plead his case: “Your honor, I’m a social justice warrior whose weapon is merely words. If I say `Israel should be pushed into the sea and all the Jews drowned with it,’ well, who’m I really harming? So please let me stay in America so I can raise my son” [yes, Khalil’s wife is eight months pregnant and ready to spawn] “so I can raise my son to despise the Yids as much as I do. God bless America. Hartley Hall Akbar.”
Should Mahmoud Khalil legally prove himself, fair enough, he stays. And he can wish Israel all the injury he pleases. But free speech works both ways. I can wish him a thousand kinds of cancer, and pray for his baby son to be torn to pieces and devoured by raccoons, who then defecate the baby’s remains into a felafel that Mahmoud and his wife are forced to eat at gunpoint. Before they’re shot anyway.
What? Offensive? Hate speech? But…but…it’s just words. Sure hope they don’t deport me from Great Neck back to…Brooklyn. This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.
click above to watch the interviewclick above to listen (audio only)
Dave Lefkowitz chats with theater critic CHARLES GROSS
Topics include: theater, Two on the Aisle, Israel
Segment aired Dec. 31, 2024 as part of the annual Daverhood New Year special edition of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #189 (9/24/2024): Hezbollah Jokes
airs Sept. 21, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By.
Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the beginning of autumn, 2024.
Whether secretly, guiltily, worriedly, or flat-out joyously, every Jew is having a big “Who’s Your Daddy?” moment right now. After nearly a year of rooting out the Gaza animals of October 7th while trading fire with the opportunistic vermin of Southern Lebanon, Israel needed a shot in the arm. They got it by giving hundreds of our enemies a pow in the pants!
All these terrorists across Lebanon and Syria had been communicating through pagers—I guess because their mommies wouldn’t let them have cell phones like big-boy psychopaths. Well, those Israeli-made pagers were programmed to detonate, and detonate they did. The Arabs should have known something was up when they opened the box and the first thing they read was, “Para Explotar, Marque el Ocho.”
These paramilitary Islamists suffered hundreds of injuries to faces, eyes, hands, genitals — now they look as grotesque as they behave. And, yes, a couple of civilians and children died. I guess up in heaven they can mingle with all the dead Jews from the music festival. And, yes, we’re all anxious about this new brand of warfare and what method of retribution the Islamists will select. But from the Yom Kippur attack to 9/11 to the Supernova Festival, our nemeses have never displayed a hint of human decency. So, nu, you think this long-deserved punishment will suddenly turn them evil? I say, “Now’s the time to be proactive and invent some poison prayer mats.”
But I can’t let this fantastic reminder of Mossad ingenuity and Jewish toughness go by without a little more levity. My friends, I bring you jokes: twisted punchlines for my Israeli brethren, who get knocked down but punch right back.
Why are Israeli pagers a bargain? You get a lot of bang for the buck.
Do the Syrians listen to Spotify? No, they carry a boom box.
Did Mossad make a list of all their targets? Yes, and they paged through it.
What was the most impressive thing Israel pulled off? They pulled off dicks, lips, fingers…
Did Hezbollah leader Ibrahim Aqil enjoy his time in Beirut? He had a blast!
Did you know that Aqil had blue eyes? Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that…
(Okay, that was an old one, but this next one’s mine): Why are the Lebanese such fine pool players? Their balls go straight into the pockets.
At what part relay races do Lebanese men excel? The hand off.
Why are Syrian generals feeling so lonely? They lost all their privates.
(I didn’t write this next one, but I have to share it:) What wireless carrier were the Lebanese using? A-TNT.
Why was the Mossad attack like Nazis euthanizing the mentally ill? They made all the nuts disappear.
What Broadway musical just came to Syria? Maim.
What Italian movie just came to Lebanon? Blowup.
Why shouldn’t Lebanese men drink? After they feel a little buzz, they fly to pieces.
What will Syrian men use to avoid Covid? Wrist sanitizer.
How can you tell when a Lebanese man is gay? His vibrator goes up his ass.
What do Syrian genitals have in common with an English breakfast? Bangers and mash.
What do a Lebanese man’s testicles have in common with The Flintstones? Bam Bam.
What’s the funniest thing about all these Hezbollahs being killed or disabled? Everything.
Happy New Year, my friends! This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Time to turn the page!
Segment aired July 20, 2024 as part of the 952nd episode of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com.
RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #188 (6/22/2024): The New Aristocrats Joke
airs June 22, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By.
Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for late June 2024.
Just like new plots for movies, there’s really no such thing as a “new” joke, just old jokes packaged in a different way. For example: Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because he was shopping at Kohl’s, and it was all they had — plus it was on clearance. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he heard all these people telling jokes about him and he got curious.
Old Manischewitz: new bottles. So here’s a naughty little joke called “The Aristocrats” that’s been around for decades. Gilbert Gottfried made it famous, and they even did a documentary about it. But I doubt you’ve heard my version.
A guy goes into a talent agent’s office, and he says, “Buddy, have I got an act for you!”
And the agent says, “Don’t waste your time. Novelty is dead. Nobody watches “Got Talent” anymore. I’m sorry, but — ”
“No, no, no,” says the guy. “This is huge. My family, my friends, strangers — it’s spectacular!”
“You’re wasting your time,” says the agent. “I’m not interested.”
“You will be!” says the guy. “Just gimme a chance. Please!”
The agent sighs and says, “All right, fine. Show me what you got.”
“Thank you!” says the guy. “It’s incredible, I promise!”
So the guy claps his hands, and shouts, “Allahu Akbar.” Suddenly thousands of Arabs appear. He blows a whistle, and the Arabs start attacking Israel. They’re firing rockets, they’re launching missiles, they’re hurling bombs and grenades.
Meanwhile, one group of Arabs go to an Israeli kibbutz where they’re having a music festival. And the Arabs start mowing down Jews with machine guns and rifles. They’re killing women, they’re hacking up children, dogs, pets, birds. And they’re shooting the men and then defiling the corpses and cutting off heads and pissing down the necks. Another group is taking hostages. And they’re torturing them, punching and kicking and stabbing and dragging and frogmarching them into tunnels.
And the women hostages are getting raped. Oh, they’re fucking these women with gun barrels and fists and korans. And they’re fucking the child hostages, too. They’re using dead kids as dildos to ass-fuck the live ones. So there’s blood and cum and baby teeth spraying every which way.
Meanwhile, the living hostages are dragged into daycares and hospitals and elementary schools, where the hidden Arabs are firing rockets and explosives to kill more Jews. This while thousands of other Arabs are butchering and killing and shitting on synagogues and smearing themselves with IDF soldier blood.
“But wait, there’s more!” says the guy to the talent agent. “That’s when all these college students come out and they run on campus with tents and banners and costumes. And they’re all screaming, `Death to Israel’ and `Free Gaza’ and `Stop the Palestinian Genocide’ while dancing around and crying and fucking each other even though they haven’t bathed in a month. And some of them break into hundred-year-old buildings and smash windows, trash furniture, crap on books. And then campus presidents come over, and they just watch. They don’t do anything; they just stand there like a 19th century French tableaux.”
But meanwhile the hostages are still dying in the tunnels, the Arabs are slaughtering every Jew in sight, the students are blocking highways, vandalizing Jewish homes, and jumping on subways to threaten anyone who looks like a kike. That’s when all these other countries around the world come in and start sanctioning Israel and banning Israelis from having passports. And the left-wing media applauds this and weeps for the refugees whose vote for a terrorist government started all this shit in the first place.
And meanwhile the terrorists murder and torture and rape and kill and kill and kill and kill in a ritual orgy of sadism, savagery, and Islamic frenzy.
With that, the guy in the office blows his whistle and says, “Well, what do you think?”
The talent agent sits for a minute and finally says, “Wow, that’s quite an act. By the way, what do you call yourselves?”
The college students all start cheering as the guy straightens himself up, Jewish blood still dripping from his sleeves, and says, “Hamas!”
Funny joke, ha? This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.
RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #187 (6/15/2024): Tony Awards 2024
airs June 15, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By.
Shalom, Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for June 16—Tony Night—2024.
Oh, my friends, the time has come as it does every year (except the year of the pandemic) to celebrate and honor excellence in the Broadway theater. The Tonys are named for Antoinette “Tony” Perry, an actress and early female stage director who founded the American Theater Wing, which brought shows to our servicemen in World War II. In 1947, Tony Perry and producer Brock Pemberton cooked up the idea of giving out prizes at the end of the season. Here we are, 77 events later, and the Tonys are a ritual, a commercial for Broadway, and an excuse to complain when musical numbers all sound the same or a performer we love gets egregiously overlooked.
For me, the Tonys are also a time to remember, with pride, just how crucial Jewish people were in creating Broadway, and how they are still—even in this age of trannies and Sudanis and Kardashian fannies—a theatrical force to be reckoned with. For example, “Mary Jane” may be the most goyische name for a character ever, but Mary Jane the Tony-nominated play is by Amy Herzog. She’s half-Jewish on her mother’s side and comes from a long line of Marxist, far-left socialist, and other politically wrongheaded but super-Jewish beliefs.
Speaking of 50/50 Jewesses, Paula Vogel is back on the Tony roster with Mother Play, about a mama who smokes and drinks gin. Okay, not Jewish, but we don’t want her to be. Plus, last decade, Vogel wrote Indecent, that lovely play about Yiddish theater and lesbians, two subjects I can’t think about without reaching for a box of tissues, albeit for different reasons.
Now, another nominated playwright, David Adjmi, is American-Syrian. (worried pause) Syrian-Jewish! (happy dance) Adjmi’s play Stereophonic, about a rock band in crisis, looks to be the one to beat for the Tony statuette. The competition is Jaja’s African Hair Braiding, by schvartze-shickseh playwright Jocelyn Bioh—hey, Jews can’t hog every nomination—and also a new play by Joshua Harmon, who wrote a comedy years ago called “Bad Jews!”
Well, Harmon’s Prayer for the French Republic is a three-hour Jewfest, a heartfelt exploration of why Jews never feel safe anywhere for very long. If you can believe it, the play was written two years before the latest cataclysm and before every putz walking a college campus turned into a billboard for Hamas. One of the show’s characters is a progressive Jewish chick who rails against Israel because she doesn’t understand that without Israel, Holocaust II is just a sequel waiting to happen. For making that case alone, Joshua Harmon deserves an award—not from the Tonys but from the B’nai B’rith.
But before we get too serious, let’s find some other Yids in the Tony tally. Songwriter Shaina Taub, the shayna maidel who wrote the musical Suffs, has said that the Jewish idea of tikkun olam, repairing the world, is a vital part of her ideology. Half-Jewish Liev Schreiber just played Anne Frank’s father in a TV miniseries,and Michael Stuhlbarg, raised as a Reform Jew, was the Rabbinically cursed Larry Gopnik in the Coen Brothers’ film, A Serious Man.
Now, this does bring us to actress Quincy Tyler Bernstine. She’s black. And I have no idea if… (mouths) Bernstine? However, both her parents were lawyers, and she went to Brown University, so even if Bernstine is not a Bernstein, she’s fine. The same goes for special Tony winner Abe Jacob, a legendary sound designer who’s probably Jewish, but I can’t prove it, and Alex Edelman, whose one-man show, Just for Us, brings us back to—you got it—anti-Semitism as an American pastime. Edelman, raised Orthodox, talks about assimilating and wanting to be like everyone else but still feeling unsure how he fits in. He also recounts attending a meeting of Neo-Nazis just to study their mindset. Actually, I could have saved him a trip; just go to your nearest university student government and watch them vote on divestment.
But Mazel Tov to Alex Edelman, Featured Actress nominee Shoshana Bean, Featured Actor Steven Skybell (whose last big role was a Yiddish Tevye!), and let’s not forget half-Jewish Daniel Radcliffe! Yes, Harry Potter’s magic wand is circumcised.
Not surprisingly, we see many landslayt in the Best Musical Revival category—remember when all musicals were Jewish even when they weren’t Jewish? (sighs) Anyhoo, there’s Cabaret, Gutenberg! The Musical!, Merrily We Roll Along, and The Who’s Tommy—all with some Jewish connection.Cabaret covers the rise of Nazi Germany and its effect on Jews and Gentiles alike. Well, not alike: Jews suffered worse. But the score was co-written by John Kander—Jewish, and still alive at 97!—and Fred Ebb—no longer alive but Jewish when he was!
Gutenberg! The Musical! was written by two shaygitzes, but the name “Gutenberg” sounds Jewish, and, hey, he printed the Bible, so he gets a pass. Pete Townshend, who wrote the music for Tommy, has always looked Jewish, so thumbs up for that. And how can we leave out the melech malchei hamlachim, Stephen Sondheim, whose Merrily We Roll Along finally became a Broadway smash? That musical shows how youthful idealism corrodes into cynicism, disappointment, and schadenfreude. What could be more Jewish?
And so, chaverim, we await Broadway’s big night: the teary-eyed speeches, black actresses thanking the Lord, gay directors thanking their husbands, viewers at home thanking God that Jo Koy isn’t hosting. My hope for the Tonys is that anyone wearing a Gaza pin on their dress accidentally sits on it, and that we are spared acceptance speeches that sneak in brainless homilies on ceasefire and two-state solutions and other subjects pampered Broadway snowflakes know less than nothing about. Stick to art, stick to entertainment! I just wish they’d stop sticking it to consumers by charging $200 for orchestra seats. (Go figure how all these socialists don’t mind a little free-market capitalism when it comes to their paychecks.)
But I can get only so angry at the theater, which has given me so much nachas over the years. May creativity and beauty always be replenished, and may Broadway, that Fabulous Invalid, which has survived world wars, assassinations, Covid, and even TikTok, forever go on with the show.
This has beena Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Curtain up!
RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #186 (6/8/2024): Maldives n’ Mexico
airs June 8, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube video:
I am mmmmarveling at the news this week involving two countries with mmmmarkedly different responses to the mmmmadness in the Mmmmiddle East. I am talking about the Maldives and Mexico. One of them is meretricious, the other marvelous.
So as the patient says to the doctor: “Bad news first.” The Maldives. It even has “mal,” a prefix meaning “bad,” in its own name. What are the Maldives? They’re a teeny Republic in South Asia, about 115 square miles of land with the rest in the Indian Ocean. And considering all the things Indians do in the ocean, it’s best not to drink the water. Or visit the Maldives.
Not that you could visit the Maldives right now if you were an Israeli. President Mohamed Muizzu — who belongs in a zoo — has banned anyone with an Israeli passport from entering the country, this in response to the war in Gaza. Why any Jew would visit this place in the first place is a puzzlement. Maldives is a country so Muslim that the practice of any other religion is forbidden by law. This is also a land that not only prohibits homosexuality but reprimands anybody kissing or even holding hands in public. So, basically, if you wonder what the Bahamas or Aruba would be like if they took away the fun and relaxation and replaced it with totalitarian jihad, you’ve got the Maldives.
In 2023 about 5,000 Jews visited the various Maldive islands. Maybe they were Orthodox and appreciated the modest-clothing rules and pork-free eating. Maybe they just wanted to watch other Semites inflict suffering on themselves for once instead of being tormented by others. Even prior to this ban, only 500 Yids Maldived themselves this year, and one hopes that goyim, in solidarity with Israel, will put Maldives on their “fuck-it” list. But hey, there’s sand and palm trees and, thanks to climate change, more and more and more water. It’s an Arcadia—and a perfect spot to relocate a few thousand displaced Palestinians! What? Dr. Muizzu? Not returning their calls? Well, at least you support them in theory.
But what gives me joy in reality is the result of a Presidential election held this week in Mexico. Replacing current honcho Andrés Manuel López Obrador is someone with a shorter name, thank God, but also a highly promising name. Winning a landslide victory is Mexico’s first female leader and first Jewish leader: Claudia Sheinbaum! I’m not kidding — Claudia Sheinbaum! Her heritage is a mix of Ashkenazic Lithuanian and Sephardic Bulgarian, and she’s a scientist with a PhD—a Jewish doctor will be running Mexico!
They should get her to deal with climate change in the Maldives because she’s an expert—she was part of a Nobel Prize-winning UN think tank on the topic—and she’s pro-choice, pro LGBT, big on mass transit and bicycle paths—yeah, she’s kind of a lefty. And a landsman.
The cheeriest aspect of this political event is that despite Jews being despised seemingly everywhere in the world, Mexicans looked beyond that and picked a Shein-a maidel! She was the outgoing president’s choice, and because the peso has been in decent shape, and because the drug cartels have been killing only every third tourist, voters are giving Sheiny the sheeny a shot.
Please let us support her by purchasing all things Mexican: jumping beans, refried beans, bootleg t-shirts of Mr. Bean. Also, spend your vacation dollars South of the Border. And I don’t mean getting a pubic wax, I mean Guadalajara, Cancun, Oaxaca, Acapulco, and lest we forget, charming Ciudad Nezahualcóyotl.
Oh, my friends, we are forever asking: Is it good for the Jews? If Judaism has taught us anything, it’s that things can change in a blink. But right now: viva México! And Maldives? ¡Vete a la mierda!
This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. ¡Arriba!
click above to watch the interviewclick above to listen (audio only)
Rabbi Sol Solomon chats with jazz musicians JANIS SIEGEL and YARON GERSHOVSKY
Topics include: Bobby McFerrin, Cy Coleman, Manhattan Transfer
Segment aired June 1, 2024 as part of the 946rd episode of the “Dave’s Gone By” radio/video podcast program hosted by Dave Lefkowitz.
Please Note: Segments extracted from “Dave’s Gone By” may have music and other elements removed for timing and media re-posting considerations. For the full interview with all elements, please visit the audio of the complete original broadcast.
All content (c)2024 TotalTheater Productions.
More information on Dave’s Gone By: http://www.davesgoneby.com
More about Rabbi Sol Solomon: http://www.shalomdammit.com.
RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #185 (5/4/2024): Three Cheers for the NYPD
airs May 4, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube video:
Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for early May 2024.
Credit where credit is due. And I don’t mean the credit cards where I owe 30 percent interest on a sofa I bought in 2014. No, I’m talking about: let’s applaud a job well done in a tremendously difficult situation.
Ever since George Floyd — you know, the drug addict, thief, armed robber, and counterfeiter who was horribly murdered by overzealous law enforcement — ever since that subject for statues became a symbol for systemic racism, cops have been betwixt and between. On the one hand, they face loathing from communities where, admittedly, they behaved badly for decades. On the other, they’re expected to be models of self-control while putting their lives on the line. Picture trying to do your job when the very people you are tasked to protect are shouting to defund you. Imagine that you take pride in serving the Big Apple, yet you’re automatically lumped in with the bad apples.
And now imagine that you’ve been called to a college campus where hundreds of deluded 20-somethings — whose age alone would mark them as enemies of authority — imagine that these liberal loonies and BIPOC buttheads have overtaken a major American university. As part of their tantrum, they’ve camped out on the lawn, blocked access to thoroughfares, and even vandalized a building. The school President has hithered and dithered, not wanting to spark violence or squelch free speech, but terrified to lose benefactors who might balk at endowing a university whose main export has become anti-Semitism.
By the time Columbia’s leader, Minouche Shafik, realized things had gotten out of control, things had gotten out of control. What to do? What to do? Let the monkeys run amok? Surrender Hamilton Hall, Lewisohn Hall, Kravis Hall, the ironically named “Harmony Hall” — all to a bunch of tent-pitching yahoos who couldn’t find Gaza on a map, a map in a bookstore, a bookstore in a city, and a city on their non-stop TikTok feeds?
At a certain point, order must be restored. It doesn’t matter that the disrupters were non-violent, and it wouldn’t matter if they were there supportingIsrael against the demons of Hamas. They were asked to leave and refused. They were commanded to leave, and instead, smashed windows and home-invaded the administration building.
That’s when you send in the cops. With riot gear.
And that, finally, is what President Shafik did. After a week of letting the hyenas run the zoo, she called in the NYPD who, with exceptional restraint and by-the-book behavior, broke up Hamas on the Hudson. Crying sophomores, shrieking professors, double-talking outside agitators — rounded up, plunked on paddy wagons, and slapped on the wrists, alas, but at least temporarily out of commission.
This, my friends, is how it’s done. Because, God knows, the cops showed more self-control than I would have to these Morningside morons. The first one to shout “Free Gaza” would have to do it through a mouth full of broken teeth. The first holding a “Divest” sign would have to hoist it with cracked knuckles. And the first Jew tweeting “Cease Fire Now!” would have so much mace sprayed in her face, her eyes would turn all four colors of the Palestinian flag.
This is why I am not a cop. This is also why the New York Police Department — and every Blue brigade that’s been summoned to these conflagrations — deserves oodles of kudos for the job they did and the way they did it. I’m sure many of these officers agreed with the protesters — we’re not talking Einsteins here, on either side of the grass — but they followed reasonable directions in a professional manner, and they deserve our gratitude and admiration.
And when the green-tent vermin swarm back onto the lawns of Columbia, NYU, Yale, UCLA, or any other ivy-choked nest of minacious radicalism, let the liars on the left be met head on by what’s right.
This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.
